This document discusses the importance of self-worth and respecting oneself. It encourages appreciating one's talents and sharing them with others. It also warns about being aware of one's surroundings and trusting instincts, as not everyone has good intentions. The main message is that life is precious, so make the most of opportunities and focus on education and personal growth to achieve dreams.

1. YOU ARE WORTHY TO BE RESPECTED TO BE
APPRECIATED TO BE LOVED
I am sharing a message today about eyes you can not see and ears
that hear you and you don’t know they are listening. I will be talking
about emotions. I will be discussing what you probably take for
granted every day you walk this campus. I am talking about the
freedom of using your own will. This is something that can be taken in
the twinkling of an eye. What so many young people don’t realize is
that in the search for love they give up something very precious and
that something is their worth. I am here to tell you that You are
Worthy.
It seems like a simple word to you right now, especially for those who
have had the opportunity to have everything served to them on a
silver platter. But I am not talking about material possessions. I am
talking about what makes you what you are. You are worthy to be
RESPECTED …
In the journey of life we are taught what life means by our parents,
family, friends, teachers and peers. But, so many people go to their
places of solitude and wonder; “Who am I and why am I here? You
feel as if you are being led by a leash and you are very confused as
to where you are going in life.
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2. To be respected can take courage to acquire for some people.
Especially people pleasers who end up being teased and tormented
and they just laugh along with the crowd, while deep inside they are
in pain. They find it very difficult to walk away from the pain for fear of
being rejected or alone. That used to be me. I would take people
saying and doing horrible things to me just to be accepted. But I
soon realized that I was alone even in a crowd. So I learned to
choose friends who were truly friends and I found a peace I can not
describe. It is a terrible feeling to be alone in a crowded room. I
developed a slogan for myself when I found a peace in finding a
place of solitude and then I could be alone because I chose it. My
slogan is; “It is better to be alone when I choose to be alone than
to be lonely in a crowd.” I used to be called names and laughed at
and I would sit quietly by and take it while all the time I was crying
inside. I took another path and stepped away from the people that
caused me pain and I was surprised at the new people that came into
my life and then one day an elderly woman told me;
“You are Worthy to be APPRECIATED.” I was shocked, because
no one had ever said that to me before. The word appreciated fell
upon a hollow core. I was confused and conflicted.
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3. Appreciated seemed like a word that belonged to someone else. She
told me that I would never know who I was until I could appreciate
how I was made and why I was made to be here. She pointed at
herself and told me, “I love the way you sing, but you never finish a
song. I love the way you write, but you never share with others. Your
writings are just piling up to collect dust. If you share who you are and
stop hiding behind the past then you will see how you can be
appreciated and then you will know that …
‘You are Worthy to be Loved’.
I was so confused by this revelation. This lady was telling me about
me and I was scared because it meant that I was going to have to
walk away from all that I knew to find out who I was and why I was
here. That is when I could hear what was always being said about me
by others. So … my elderly friend died of cancer, but before she died
she gave me … me.
I began to tell myself that it was alright for me to have joy and
happiness. I began to learn the words of the bible in a whole new
way. I learned what love is supposed to truly be and I gave my
sincere heart and soul over to the Lord. In serving him I found peace
of mind. Now I am LIVING FREE!
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4. LIVING FREE: Freedom is priceless and as precious as pearls
Just before I opened up to present my speech I told you about my life
as a hostage. I couldn’t see what was lurking close by. I could only
see what was right in front of me. I was struggling to end a very long
struggle of being a victim of a man who was the father of my children.
I was young and I didn’t have the option to call on my stepfather
because he had died in a car accident years earlier, and my mother
had died four years later.
In my early twenties I was left to care for my siblings, including one
with cerebral palsy. I was challenged to climb a very steep mountain
of responsibilities. I could have let my younger siblings go to Social
Workers who appeared at my doorstep, less than twenty four hours
after my mother died, but I fought to keep us together. I did not feel
trapped by that decision, but I did feel trapped by a marriage to a man
who beat me mercilessly. He would tell me; “I know you don’t love
me, but I have enough love for the both of us!” I was in a prison
called, Fear. He began to torment me for eight years after I divorced
him.
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5. In the mist of that I left him and moved into my own apartment and I
was doing very well, but one day he simply move into my home and
took it over while I was in the hospital having surgery. I went to work
with black eyes and swollen lips. Sometimes my neighbors would
say; “Hey! It looks like you’ve been in the ring with Muhammad
Ali!” I would just lower my head and pray for a way out of hell. If you
don’t get anything else from this speech today, remember this;
“FREEDOM IS PRICELESS AND AS PRECIOUS AS PEARLS”.
Think about PEARLS!
INNER PEARLS
Let’s start with INNER PEARLS. These are your personal pearls
and some are given to you while you are in the womb. The first pearl
is LIFE.
Life is a PRIVILEGE. You have been given a very precious gift. You
struggled against all odds to be here. You searched for the pathway
to life and you found it. It is amazing. It is the first miracle.
Your first privileged pearl is life itself.
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6. You have Power inside of you; You have the power to be great at
anything you choose to be great at. Your parents may or may not
support you, but in some young people they beat the odds because
they have an inner power that no one can tame. They go on to be
successful and they can tell you of how they endured
homelessness, how they faced poverty, how they were tortured
and battered, but they stayed on the course to become a success
story.
There are some that were raised in a house that many of us can only
dream of. But they also endured physical and emotional abuse, but
they fell by the wayside because no one believed in them and
they did not believe in themselves.
I say this; “That power that resides within you; don’t give it to
anyone!
Know your own mind. This is a most rewarding pearl, because we
are born into a world that is forever changing. There are so many
things to adjust to in a very short amount of time.
Learn how to say the word, “NO” and say it with conviction!
I was weary of this powerful word. I was in my late forties before it
made any sense to me.
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7. I had endured domestic violence and life as a hostage, poverty
and homelessness and I would still sit in a room and hear myself
being described and I knew that what was being said was not who or
what I was. I had not learned to follow my own path and that led to
other situations where I ended up where I was a victim again and
again. But one day I learned the power of the word ‘No’.
If only I had known the freedom it could bring me. There is a
difference between saying no and doing no.
I’ve seen that doing nothing when simply a no would end a situation
that someone may not want to be in … it is torment. You will hear
some people say that he or she is stringing me along. Some people
will not walk away until they hear yes or no.
OUTER PEARLS
Outer Pearls, are those special gifts that you possess that
attracts you to others and others to you. A lot of oyster chucking
must take place before a precious one can be found. After chucking
many oysters for the right pearl, finally you hold in your hand the right
oyster of knowledge.
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8. You’ve chucked it and the pearl of wisdom inside has been
exposed. You know that pearl is precious! That pearl is the
essence of you.
Now is the time for you to be polished and the essence of who you
are and what you are to be is put on display. This is where your
parents may have spent a great deal of their time preparing you with
‘warnings about people who might come into your life’. Of course it is
easier to listen to someone else than to listen to your parents
because they are always around and it seems as if they are trying to
run your life. When in fact they are trying to spare you the pain they
endured. I am sure that they’ve prayed many days and night for you
to be safe from others, but the most difficult prayer that they pray for
you is for you to be safe from your own choices. This pearl is one
that is ignored as we get older.
We do not; PAY ATTENTION TO OUR SURROUNDINGS.
We put one foot in from of the other and just keep on going like the
bunny rabbit. We don’t listen to hear the unexpected and we don’t
look to see all that we can see. Stalkers have mastered seeking
these special pearls and they know that you are not looking nor
are you listening.
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9. I was here on the campus a few months ago and I observed a young
lady walking across campus and a man was watching her every
move, but there was something uncanny about the way he was
watching her that gave me chills. The young lady had no idea that
she was being observed in this manner. Now don’t get me wrong,
there is absolutely nothing wrong with being admired, but when it is
threatening and it looks like an animal on the prowl then something is
very wrong. As I stated earlier I am sharing a message today
about eyes you can not see and ears that hear you that you may
not know is listening. I am talking about a stalker.
I am sure that in this audience sits someone who knows about
somebody that has been a victim of a stalker. I am not asking you to
raise your hands.
Remember that; EVERY SMILING FACE DOES NOT HAVE A
SMILING HEART.
Sometimes you can tell it by the eyes. The mouth smiles, but the
eyes are as cold as ice. Sometimes you can tell by the way a person
walks that something is wrong. If you feel it in your heart that
something isn’t right. Walk away as fast as your feet will carry you
into a crowd to protect yourself.
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10. If it doesn’t feel right … It usually isn’t. The hair that rises up on
your neck is your first attempt at your body giving you a warning that
something is not right. I felt that very same thing the first time I laid
eyes on the man that held me hostage. Although he looked to my
eyes to be an older man, my heart said run and that is what I did. But,
in that second he knew that I knew he was bad news. I was caught in
his snare and I did not even know him. He was a predator and I was
his victim, only I was already his victim months before I ever knew of
him. He had a plan for every plan I made to get away from him. I was
blind to the eyes that were watching me from afar. I saw people
reacting differently towards me, but I had no idea why and I didn’t ask
questions. I am asking you to be aware and trust your instincts.
You can not lose what you’ve never had.
BE WEARY OF FOLLOWING SOMEONE WHO SAYS, “COME
AND GO WITH ME I WILL TELL YOU WHEN WE GET THERE.”
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11. Remember when I said that Life is a privilege? You can not go back
and make things right when a life is taken away. You hold your life in
the palm of your hands. Handle it carefully and it will serve you well.
Think about whom you are sharing your life with and consider your
actions. When you are young life seems as if it owes you everything,
but in reality it is a precious gift and it is priceless. To follow
someone without considering the consequences is like handing
your life over to them. How often do you hear on the news a
grieving mother saying, “I asked him not to go with them!” or “I heard
a knock on the door and he left out and that’s the last time I ever saw
him.” Life is fleeting as it is … why give it away.
When life has taught you a few lessons you can focus on your
FUTURE PEARLS!
FUTURE PEARLS
All of your life you heard the term, DREAM BIG. My slogan is, “Hold
your head up high and keep your dreams alive!” I say that slogan
to myself even when times get hard. You must hold onto hope of a
better day.
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12. Many people who have endured a difficult struggle in life have risen
up above the clouds of despair and they became very successful and
those people are looked at in awe. It can seem to many people that
this success is impossible to reach. But I say to you to Dream Big
and know that each day of life filled with pearls of wisdom, you
can see that you can achieve magnificent accomplishments in your
life.
Know that KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! Of course this is another one
of those terms that you’ve heard all of your life. But I stand here
before you and I see the future. Imagine that you are sitting here
chosen from among so very many that was rejected or could not
afford to be here, but here you are.
FOCUS ON GETTING A GREAT EDUCATION! You might say to
me; “Look, I am in college … what are you talking about?” Well I
challenge you to go and sit at a shelter for a day or two and ask
questions and you will see that some of them have many college
degrees, but they are broken spirits. They got great book
knowledge, but they got lost somewhere along the way.
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13. True education is learning to survive through trials and
tribulations. It rains on the good and it rains on the bad. Some
successful people can not tolerate having to start over to regain their
fortunes so they just give up. I wish I could have had the opportunity
that you are having today. You see, I don’t remember a day of school.
I don’t remember a single teacher or classmate. Because of the
choice I made to save my children I live with amnesia. I was told to go
on Social Security. I was told that I would always need someone to
care for me. Even though I am not rich, I have been a casting director
and now I own a publishing company. Somebody said I was a
Nobody one day and I said this slogan without hesitation, “I am the
Nobody that makes every other Nobody Somebody Special!”
You see I am more than a Somebody, I am a Child of God!
I AM SURE YOU CAN THINK OF OTHER PEARLS … ADD THEM
TO YOUR BAG AS YOU WISH!
In the years to come life will supply you with pearls of knowledge that
you will pass on to your children or you will be a business owner or a
professor. Just take out your pearls of wisdom and share them every
now and then.
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14. Thank you is another powerful word that we take for granted. This is
a pearl of wisdom that you are taught the moment that you can reach
and grab for something. As an infant you are told to say thank you
and before you know it, it is second nature.
Thank you for having me here with you today! If you pass me on the
street and I don’t remember your face. Just remember mine and say
to others; “I met a Survivor today!”
THANK YOU
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