Presentation to the Colorado Library Consortium (CLiC) conference, Grand Junction, CO, February 28, 2011.

1. Scott Brown
CLiC Spring Workshop, Grand Junction, CO
February 28, 2011
© 2011 Scott Brown © Yuri Arcurs - Fotolia.com
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2. A story in brief
• Experience in public,
academic and corporate
libraries
• Coach/Therapist
• Trainer/speaker/adjunct
faculty
• My story about conflict
© 2011 Scott Brown 2

3. Objectives
 To understand some of the elements of difficult
patron situations
 To learn some simple tools to help us deal with
difficult patrons more effectively
 To utilize our sense of humor and perspective to help
us deal with difficult patrons
 Read: have some fun!
© 2011 Scott Brown 3

4. Why are difficult patrons so difficult?
 They’re emotional
 They’re stubborn
 We get emotional and
stubborn
© fred goldstein - Fotolia.com
© 2011 Scott Brown 4

5. Elements of conflict
 Opposing – or perceived opposing –
goals, views, etc.
 The element of respect or disrespect
 Emotion
 Situation
 It’s likely not really “about” you at all
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6. Why conflict is scary
 Fight or flight response triggered
 Bundled up with daily frustrations
 Our own emotions are involved
© 2011 Scott Brown 6

7. How does conflict show up with patrons?
 Materials challenges
 Privacy
 Computer usage
 Those with mental illness
 Age groups
 Frustration/anger/hostility/threats
 Online services/virtual services/social networks
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8. Types of conflict
 Tension or “unspoken” conflict
 Written
 Spoken
 Face-to-face
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9. Avoidance
 Sometimes works,
sometimes doesn’t.
 Can be misinterpreted:
disregard or acceptance
 Can set a bad precedent
 Can escalate, exacerbate,
replicate the situation
© 2011 Scott Brown 9
© Andres Rodriguez - Fotolia.com

10. Conflict prevention
Customer service skills
 Acknowledging and greeting people
 Listening
 Tone and body language
 Understandable language
 Proactive
 Positive approach
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11. Conflict prevention
Policies
 Having them
 Setting patron expectations
 Consistency
 Signage
 If I can’t address the issue, who do I go to?
What’s my back-up plan?
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12. Conflict prevention
Communication
 Open
 Honest
 Often
 Assertive vs. aggressive
© 2011 Scott Brown 12

13. Conflict!
© 2011 Scott Brown 13

14. First off!
 Breathe or pause
 Model behavior – set the tone
 Be aware of the power you have
 Respect
 Assume good intentions
 Listen
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15. Next…
• Apologize – gracefully
• Not for yourself, but for the situation
• Acknowledge/validate
• Avoiding “assigning feelings”
• Get verbal confirmation
• Avoid red-flag words
• Don’t argue, justify or defend
© 2011 Scott Brown 15

16. Then…
 Use bridge statements
 Start with needs
 Focus on the problem
 Use the “salami” tactic
 Take your time
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17. Navigating the rough spots
 Diplomatically disagreeing
 Concede a minor point
 Interrupt tactfully
 Be assertive
 Don’t make idle promises
 Involve colleagues
 Stay safe
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18. Escalated situations
 Change locations
 Be specific in your requests
 Say how the behavior is affecting you
 Get help/escape
© 2011 Scott Brown 18

19. Working with those with mental illness
 Understand the types of mental illness
 Maintain space
 Ask how the person is doing
 Don’t interrupt if the person is talking
to himself/herself – unless necessary
 Repeat yourself if necessary
 Get help/escape
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20. Taking care of yourself
 Breathe
 Don’t take it personally
 Practicing non-engagement
 Take a break
 Talk with someone
 What’s it about?
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21. The effect of online
 More anonymous
 Easier to be rude
 Easier to dismiss,
avoid, “write off”
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22. Managing online conflict
 Don’t allow anonymous comments
 Assign moderators
 Moderate comments
 Have guidelines
 Respond quickly
 Involve your community
 Don’t be afraid to engage
 Don’t be afraid to block
© 2011 Scott Brown 22

23. Thank you!
Scott Brown
Professional and personal coaching
scott_r_brown@comcast.net
303-834-7553
Social Information Group
http://www.socialinformationgroup.com
scott@socialinformationgroup.com
303-834-7553
http://www.linkedin.com/in/scottrbrown
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