This document discusses relationships and emotions. It defines relationships and emotional intelligence, and explains how effective communication is important for successful relationships. It then describes different types of relationships like friendships, romantic relationships, and dysfunctional relationships. It also discusses emotions in relationships, expressing and suppressing feelings, and resolving conflicts in relationships. Finally, it provides tips for handling feelings effectively in relationships through assertive communication.

1. Presented by :-
Sasi Vignesh

2. Relationships
 The way in which two or more people or groups regard
and behave towards each other.
 Relationships are about emotions and feelings and
requires a lot of emotional work.
 Successful relationships are based upon effective
communication of our emotions. This is subject to our
emotional intelligence.

3. Emotional Intelligence
 The ability to recognize and regulate one’s mood, to
control impulses, to motivate oneself, to empathize and to
hope.
 Helps strike a balance between intimacy and distance
between people we interact with depending upon the
relational context we find ourselves in.

4. We all Start out as Strangers
 Uncertainty Reduction Theory:-
Strategies to reduce uncertainty
1.Passive Strategies:-Observe
2.Interactive Strategies:-Probe
3.Active Strategies:-Third party intervention

5. We all Start out as Strangers
 Another factor that affects relationship development:-
Predicted outcome value of a potential relationship.
Our initial judgement is based on physical appearance,
observed behaviors, third party information.

6. Kinds of Relationships
Acquaintanceships
Relationships with persons whom we know by name and
with whom we may converse if given a chance.

7. Kinds of Relationships
Friendships
A relationship where you dare to be yourself.
You’ll seek each other out, like being with each other,
exhibit a strong mutual regard.

8. Kinds of Relationships
Rawlin’s six stages of friendships
1.Role Limited attraction:-Initial contact on some level on some pretext.
2.Friendly Relations:-Exploring whether we have enough in common to
continue.
3.Moving towards Friendship:-Making small personal disclosures
demonstrating the desire to expand relationship.
4.Nascent Friendship:-Begin considering each other friends. Share activities.
Regular interaction
5.Stabilized Friendship:- Securing the relationship.- “TRUST”
6.Waning Friendship:-Friends begin to drift apart.-”Take things for granted,
lack of personal effort”

9. Kinds of Relationships
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
Three unique components:-
1.Passion:-intense positive feelings of attraction.
2.Intimacy:-sustained feelings of closeness and connection.
3.Commitment:-intention to stay through even in trouble.

10. Kinds of Relationships
Laws of Attraction
1.Attractiveness:-Physical appearance and pleasant
personalities.
2.Proximity/Propinquity:- Geographical, cultural, interests.
3.Reinforcement:- We like people who positively reinforce us or
we perceive are the cause for that reinforcement.
4.Complementarity:-Opposites attract.(opposites are the qualities
we don’t have but we subconsciously desire)

11. Kinds of Relationships
7 STAGES OF LOVE
1.Dilkashi (attraction)
2.Uns (infatuation)
3.Mohabbat (love/affiliation)
4.Akidat (trust)
5.Ibadat (worship)
6.Junoon (madness)
7.Fanaah ( self annihilation/destruction)

12. Kinds of Relationships
Dysfunctional Relationship
1.Blame-game :- excuse to vent anger.
2.Violence:-verbal, physical, sexual
3.Apologization for the toxic communication
4.Lull in emotional abuse
5.Resurfacing of the cycle.

13. Kinds of Relationships
Stages in a Break-up
1.Denial
2. Anger
3.Bargaining
4.Depression
5.Acceptance

14. Kinds of Relationships
 Work Relationships:-person-to-person-on-the-job-
relations. Trust, conformations, participations, tolerance.
 Family Relationships:- Family of Origin,
Family of Creation.

15. Emotions in Relationships
 Emotional State :- Caroll E. Izard :- A particular
emotional process of limited duration.
 Emotion Traits:- The tendency to experience specific
emotions when interacting with others.
 Feelings:- our reactions to what we perceive. They define
the meaning of our relationships.

16. Emotions in a Relationship
 Anger Effects:-Psychological prevention of fulfillment of a goal
can cause anger.
Anger leads to psychosomatic diseases and maybe a major
change in personality
 Emotional Contagion:- the catching of the other person’s
mood.
We unconsciously mirror and imitate the moods of people we
interact with.

17. Suppression and Disclosure of
Feelings
 The way we handle feelings impedes our relationships
with others.
 We may bury our real feelings, hesitate to express them or
unleash them uncontrollably

18. Censoring Your Feelings
 Feelings and Emotions are frequently perceived as
dangerous, harmful and shameful.
 So we express only Socially Approved feelings.
 Emotional Isolationists are the persons who try to protect
themselves from any exchange of feelings by minding
their own business.

19. Determinants of Display Rules
 Gender
 Culture
 Personal Values

20. Characteristic Style of Emotional
Expressions
 Withholders- Never show how they feel.
 Revealers- Try to show how they feel.
 Unwitting Expressors- Reveal their feelings without being
aware that they have done so.
 Blanked Expressors- Communicate their feelings to others
but, in fact, not.
 Substitute Expressors- Substitute the expression of one
emotion for another emotion.

21. Effects of Suppressed and Disclosed
Feelings on Relationships
 Suppressing feelings may become increasingly difficult to
solve interpersonal problems.
 Repression of emotions can lead to serious conflicts and
blow-ups.
 Revealing your feelings, you make it less threatening for
the person to reveal his or her feelings.

22. Conflicts and Relationships
 A Conflict-Free relationship is a sign that you really have
no relationship at all.
 Avoiding conflicts, trying to settle them pre-maturely or
prohibiting the discussion of differences can lead to
serious problems.
 There is evidently a link between the emotional lives of
your parents and your own emotional health.

23. Categorizing Conflicts
 Self Conflict: Conflicts that occurs when a person has to
choose between two or more mutually exclusive options
 Interpersonal Conflict: Conflict between two or more
people
 Low-Intensity Conflict: A conflict in which the persons
involved work to discover a solution beneficial to all
parties
 Medium-Intensity Conflict: Each person feels committed
to win

24. Categorizing Conflicts (Contd.,)
 High-Intensity Conflict: One person intends to destroy or
seriously hurt the other.
 Pseudo Conflict: When person mistakenly believe that two
or more goals cannot be achieved simultaneously.
 Content Conflict: Disagreement over matters of fact.
 Value Conflict: Disagreement that arises when persons
hold different views on an issue.
 Ego Conflict: Disagreement in which persons believe that
winning or losing is tied to their self-worth, prestige or
competence

25. Resolving Conflict:
Styles of Expression
 Nonassertiveness- The hesitation to display one’s feelings
and thoughts.
 Aggressiveness- Expressing of one’s own thoughts and
feelings at another’s expense.
 Assertiveness- Expressing one’s thoughts and feelings
while displaying respect for the thoughts and feelings of
others.

26. Technology, Relationships and ,the
Communication of Emotions
 The Computer has freed us to express feelings and
emotions we would be hesitant to express publicly.
 However the use of the internet is isolating, severely
limits face-to-face interactions.

27. Handling Feelings Effectively
In Relationships
 Work on Feelings you have difficulty expressing or
handling
 Stand up for your Emotional Rights
 Check your Perceptions
 Show respect for feelings
 Use a script to handle feelings Assertively

28. Practice Four Basic
Assertive Behaviours
 Stop automatically asking permission to speak, think, or
behave.
 Establish Eye Contact with people with whom you
interact face-to-face.
 Eliminate hesitations and fillers.
 Say “no” calmly , firmly and quietly; say “yes” sincerely
and honestly; say “I want” without fear or guilt.