2. My Experience in America:
My experience in America before I came was very bad
as I watched in the movies , but when I came and saw
the different every thing changed and I am going to
present some of my experience.
-My language with English.
-My trip to Chicago “SMART CITY”.
-My experience with Sushi.
-My trip to Niagara Falls in NY.
-My experience riding a bicycle.
3. -My language in English:
I am good in listening and speaking but I have a weakness in
writing.
When I started the classes with the teacher she gave me and
students a lot of paragraphs to practice.
The English language is the most important language at this
time.
The different in my country I can’t practice because the
English isn’t my native language .
4. - My trip to Chicago “SMART CITY”:
I went to Chicago called “SMART CITY”, and I have learned what SMART
CITY means, also I have seen old buildings with high technology .
I liked the SMART CITY because they know how and where is used
technology.
This time is a time of technology .
The different in my country , no one can support .
5. She was explaining for us
about the SMART CITY
Her is the SMART CITY
“Chicago”
Here is the SMART CITY:
6. - My experience of Sushi:
I tasted Sushi for the first time in Chicago and it was really delicious. I
had it again in kent with my teacher and with some friends .
I like the special taste in the Sushi because it is uncooked.
Here is the Sushi I tried in Chicago
7. - My trip to Niagara Falls in NY. :
I have seen the Niagara Falls in NY it was really wonderful trip.
Also I have seen the big water dam in Niagara Falls.
The water in the dam produces the electrical energy for the whole of
NewYork.
The falls were magnificent.
I don’t have falls in my country .
9. - My experience of riding a bicycle:
I have learned ride the bicycle safely; use the helmet and follow the traffic
instructions .
It’s important for me now because I didn’t drive safely .
The difference here is that when someone doesn't obey the insurrections of
the traffic
the police will give him a ticket .
10. - Finally , I am really happy to have visitedAmerica and I am happy
to have had the experience .
<<Thanks for your attention>>
Hinweis der Redaktion
Anas, remember what I talked about in class on Friday? A LITTLE TEXT ONLY!!!
Get rid of the entire first paragraph – SAY those words.
My experience with* English
My trip* to Chicago “Smart City”
My experience with* Sushi
My trip* to Niagara Falls (no need for NY – we all know where it is)
My experience riding* a bicycle (you ride a bike, not drive it)
“I have a nice language” doesn’t make sense. Get rid of that part. Just say “I’m good at listening and speaking, but I have a weakness in writing”
“in this time” doesn’t make sense. Either say “in the world” or “at this time”
The different what? I’m confused.
*called “Smart City”
*what “Smart City” means
*with high technology
Because they know how and where WHAT is used? Technology? Cell phones? People?
The different WHAT in your country… and what do you mean “who can support”?
*here is the Smart City…
I tasted* Sushi
and it was really delicious (?) (better than “nice”)
I had it again in Kent (no city)
*because it is uncooked
*Sushi I tried in Chicago (PAST TENSE)
Run-on sentence!
Use separate bullet points for the falls and the dam.
*produces
*electrical energy or just electric
*for the whole of (or *for all of )
*were magnificent
*I don’t have falls in my country…
You don’t need the sentence at the top. You SAY that.
Riding* a bike
Run-on sentence!
*ride the bicycle safely; use the helmet
*the difference here is that when someone
“instructions” is spelled wrong. Normally, we call them “traffic laws” instead of “instructions of traffic”
Get rid of the word “And” – you can’t start a sentence with and!