1. Seeding the Dream
Paulo Coelho in his book entitled, “The Alchemist” states that “ when you really want
something, it is because the desire originated in the soul of the universe.” And therefore it
“your mission on earth” Hence, “to realize one’s destiny is a person’s only real
obligation. And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to
achieve it.”
To search for, to unravel and to find the means to actualize this mission is no
cakewalk. Such a dream has haunted me for some years. But all efforts to realize it
proved a futile and frustrating rendezvous, hence I decided early this year to give it a
decent burial and to close the coffin for all eternity. Yes, the coffin was laid out, the final
verdict declared and the lid nailed to the coffin and buried in the deepest recesses of my
heart and mind, never, ever to be retrieved. Yes, post burial, I felt a sense of relief,
freedom and peace. I consoled myself that if God deigned His dream to be fulfilled; He
needs to put His act together, since I have done all within my purview.
But the ways of God are truly strange. It is like the hound of heaven that persists
doggedly without reprieve.
Out of the blue, I received an email inviting me to a feminine spirituality retreat at
NBCLC, Banglaore from 23-31 May 2007 entitled “Prophetic Play and Mystical
Movement”directed by Prashant Olalekar sj. It seemed to find an echo in my heart and so
like the tabula rasa I entered the retreat. From the outset my body, unknown to my
conscious self and without my consent or knowledge, began a dance encompassing my
entire being – body, mind and soul. To my utter consternation and dismay, the buried
seed emerged quietly and subtly not via the mind but strangely taking the path less
traveled – the alleys of the body. Every time I tried snuffing out this dream or tried to
thwart the emergence of the seed by justifying mind over soul, past experiences over
present, personality lacunaes over personal aptitudes etc., my body expressed its
disapproval, indicated by watering of eyes, heavy headedness and sneezing. Initially I
attributed this to an allergic reaction like pollen but the wise retreat director beckoned me
to listen to the vibes of the body. Rather skeptically and reluctantly I did so. It was
difficult to focus on the body rather than the mind. Such a modus operandi for
discernment was alien to me and it took some time to comprehend and heed its wisdom.
Of course I wouldn’t give in easily. Mental gymnastics of questioning and doubting body
wisdom took much of my energy. It seemed an utopia impossible to reach, given my
personality type. Yes, all roads pointed to the irrelevance of this futile venture of even
asking for a reemergence of the seed. The rational thinking mind dictated terms to me as
per the secure, well trodden path. Don’t heed this seed dream, its a wasted proposition.
But the soul is on a different plane. Slowly, apart from the body wisdom, my
mind’s eye seemed to discover the seed image everywhere:
 Apparently (again unconsciously) I danced the seed alone or with a partner.
 The dance troupe – Nrityavani performed a soul-searching sequence on the
theme of the seed struggling to see the light of day.
 The flora and fauna demonstrated new life with seeds of every hue and shape.
Yes, everything and everyone around spoke the language of the seed. It seemed as if the
entire cosmos conspired to bring this seed to fruition.

2. Contemplating Mary at the Annunciation gave me the inspiration to say “Yes”
and to surrender to His divine plan. Subsequently, my ailments vanished and peace
engulfed me. Yes, the signs emanating from my body were crystal clear. The only viable
option is to fulfill His designs in my life and so I cannot wish away the seed but seek to
nurture it.
If that were not enough, the retreat was a forum to meet like-minded people, folks
who believed in body wisdom, folks who understood the inner search and who connected
with my inner depth. I believe this too was God’s divine motherly presence, as I heard
someone narrate to me that coincidences are God’s miracles when He prefers to remain
anonymous. Such encounters were feasible during the Retreat, and this connectedness
enabled the various ‘anointings’ to be a deep, personal and truly awesome experience.
“The Lord has truly done marvels for me” Those that are etched in my mind are: the
washing of the feet, the spontaneous rain dance and the final anointing for mission.
Here again the Gospel passage of the intimate meeting of Mary and Elizabeth
found an echo in my heart. Two women astounded by the workings of the Spirit meet and
encourage each other as they traverse untrodden roads, two women who carried the seeds
of the divine within, travel together in companionship and sisterhood.
This was confirmed repeatedly: if it is God’s mission, the entire universe conspires to
achieve the goal. At the ‘appointed time’ people just emerge to enable you to walk the
path less traveled.
After the retreat the daily peace meditations enable me to see this dream as part of
the cosmic plan and to trust in the feminine energy of God as well as body wisdom. It
will impel me to achieve God’s work in His own time and in His own way – to dream the
dance of the seed with the entire cosmos.