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10 bhm IEF-TIMD Lecture 10
- 1. Building Healthy
Marriages
© 2002 International Educational Foundation
IEF is responsible for the content of this presentation only
if it has not been altered from the original.
© IEF 1
- 2. Build Own Character
Strength
Apartnership is only as
strong as its partners
Strengthen conscience
through study and service
Cultivate good goals,
interests and friendships
© IEF 2
- 4. Commitment —
Context for Love to
Grow
Creates safety for
intim acy
Allows tim e to
discoverspouse
Neverending process
© IEF 4
- 5. Commitment =
Investment in the
Marriage
Close “escape hatches”
Workaholism
Preoccupation with child
Excessive television
Extram aritalaffair
Divorce not an option
© IEF 5
- 6. Fidelity
Em bodies com m itm ent
Maintains honesty
Eases fears that block
intim acy
© IEF 6
- 7. Love — Built on Trust
Trust is built on virtue
Fidelity
Commitment
© IEF 7
- 8. “A mar iage thatcommands
r
l ty…r
oyal equir each par
es tner
to r inquish sel
el f-centeredness.”
Judith S. Waler
l stein, The Good Marriage
© IEF 8
- 11. Deposits
Service
Kind gestures
Praise and
appreciation
© IEF 11
- 12. Invest in the
Marital “ Bank
Account”
Become friends
Build
companionship
Have fun together
5 deposits for 1
withdrawal
© IEF 12
- 13. Withdrawals
1. Criticism
2. Personal
attacks
3.
Defensiveness
4. Putting up
© IEF 13
- 17. Dealing with Anger
Never use
physical violence
Allow time for cooling
down
Get to the root
emotions — Hurt &
fear
© IEF 17
- 20. Marital Phases
Creativity
& Service
Conflict
Romance Recommitment
& Cooperation
© IEF 20
- 22. “Love does notconsistin
gazing ateach otherbut
in l
ooking togetherin the
same direction.”
Antoine De Saint-Exupery
© IEF 22
- 24. Marriage Can Be
Healing and
Restorative
Resolves
psychologicalissues
Childhood scars
Fam ily history
© IEF 24