2. Pete Gowers
• Ford IT supervisor with sidelines
• Relatively new to Ford, since 1995
• Engineering degree and Ford MBA
• Typical IT career, lots of moving around
• 7 years on stress groups, counselling courses, 10 years
presenting positive psychology, charity listening
volunteer and mentor
• 1*wife, 3*cats, 1*4.1 year old, 1*.9 year old
• 6.15 AM gym classes punching to dance music
• Desire to help people enjoy work more and get a bit
more done
• ENFP
3. Caveats
• Pete is an IT Supervisor with an MBA not a
psychologist, medical expert or HR
professional
– Do use those people as needed
• I have an interest in the subject area and am
just sharing what I’ve read or discovered from
professionals and experts
• This stuff works for me, but your mileage may
vary
4. Personal Request
• I’m going to tell you things today, I think are
fascinating, they help me and people I know
• They are about how stress can even be
positive. I am hoping it may help
• However, if someone you know is struggling,
by all means share what you learn. If it doesn’t
help, support them using listening or help
them get help.
5. Active Listening
1 Asking open questions: any questions not requiring a
yes/no answer eg How? What? Where? Who? When?
and Why?
2 Summarising: a summary helps to show the person
that you have listened and understood them.
3 Reflecting: simply repeating back a key word or phrase
encourages the person to go on and expand on what has
been said.
4 Clarifying: sometimes a person will gloss over
an important point or emotion. Phrases such as
‘Tell me more about...’ can help the person clarify these
points for themselves.
5 Short words of encouragement: A simple ‘yes’, ‘go on’,
or ‘I see’ help the person to continue, and shows that you
are interested.
6 Reacting: People are often looking for empathy and
understanding. Phrases that show you’ve really
understood what something was like for them can help
build rapport and trust.
6. Resources to help you with stress
• Friends
• Family
• Cognitive techniques
• Mindfulness
• Relaxation techniques
• Time management
• Exercise
• Medication
What about: How stressed out you feel?
7. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE
3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz
“despite what the French intellectuals
say, it seems that no one wakes up in the
morning thinking, "May I suffer the whole
day?"”
T
8. Matthieu Ricard
4. PHILOSOPHY
T
“despite what the French intellectuals
say, it seems that no one wakes up in the
morning thinking, "May I suffer the whole
day?"”
9. Kelly McGonical – How To Make Stress Your Friend
http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en
Video approx 1.20 to 3:30 minutes.
10. “Stress makes you sick, it increases the risk of everything from
the common cold to cardiovascular disease”
“I’ve turned stress Into the Enemy”
11. “People who experienced a lot of stress in the last year had a 43%
chance of dying”
“Only true for people who believed that stress was bad for them”
12. “This study got me wondering, can changing how you feel about
stress make you healthier and here the science says yes, when
you change your mind about stress. you can change your body’s
response to stress”
13. History of Stress
• Hans Selye 1936 – defined stress
• Experiments on rats
– Really terrible things, imminent death
– “Unavoidable, uncontrollable and utterly devoid of
meaning”…”this isn’t stress, it’s the hunger games for
rodents” K. Mcgonigal
• Equated to what he’d seen in people as a doctor,
unexplained problems
– Suggested stress was anything, hassles up to
imprisonment, cumulative effect on health.
• ‘Stress is bad, to be avoided’
“The Most common effects of Stress on our lives are strength, growth
and resillience” – K. McGonigal
14. Traditional View of Stress
• Fight, Flight or Freeze
• This is like school physics, assume everything
is in a vacuum
– It’s not wrong, but it is a simplification
• The body’s stress response is much more
complex, more interesting and handily it’s
malleable
15. 3 Possible Stress Responses
Stress
Responses
Fight or Flight
(or Freeze)
Threat
response
Challenge
Response
Tend and
Befriend
16. Fight Or Flight
- A Threat Response
• Cortisol – reduces inflammation
• Blood vessels constrict so you can be bitten
and not die
• Heart pumps more blood
• Extraordinary strength and power
• Very handy for some situations
• Everything you have heard about how sucky
this response is, is true
– Sickness, life quality impact, depression, anxiety
even life shortening
17. Challenge Response
• DHEA – improves neuroplasticity
• Facilitates action
• Increases self confidence
• Helps you learn
• Opens Blood vessels
• More energised, more psyched
• Excitement more than fear
18. Tend and Befriend Response
• Motivates Caregiving, drives to seek support
– Roots in evolution, humans are social animals, can’t
survive on our own
• Oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone”, encourages
social interaction and also repairs the heart
• Dopamine, reward system
– Improves motivation
• Serotonin – perception and intuition
– Increases Social skills
• Increases Courage, turns fear to hope
19. The art of Stress Management
• Causes of stress are often unavoidable:
– Work, caregiving, health, financial, hassles, chores
• Recognise; we have this response because we
care about something, it’s trying to help
– People predict they’ll be happier with less stress, but
opposite shown in studies
• Predisposed to a personal response, but it’s not
fixed
• Can move from one stress response to another or
with “mindset” interventions.
20. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE
3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz
“Pressure, challenges - is all an
opportunity for me to rise”
T
22. Mindset Interventions
• Connect with Meaning
• Align with your values
• Understand the Upside of Stress, turn anxiety
into excitement
• Be tricked by a researcher
• Altruism
• All work, tested in many studies, even on people
with very strong anxiety disorders
23. Meaning and Values
• Values – What are yours?
– Sample ones: Gratitude, family, faith, hard work,
compassion, creativity, fairness, honesty, love, acceptance
• Stanford graduates had to write about their values and how the
things in their life related to that
– Didn’t even remember the exercise but it worked 4 years later
• Doctors doing this, less likely to burn out or dread getting up, more
job satisfaction
• Meaning
– Where are you likely to see Joy, Love, laughter, learning or
purpose?
• Think about whether these things give you stress?
• 30% less deaths for people with highly meaningful lives
– What are my bigger than self goals?
– Rewrite job description to align to these
24. Values Exercise
• My key value: Helping people. On the surface
not in a typical job, but in other ways, its
everything
– Help my boss, help my team, help customers, help
mentees, see if stress presentations can help
others.
25. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE
3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz
“ Go after what it is that creates meaning
in your life and then trust yourself to
handle the stress that follows.”
T
26. 3. PSYCHOLOGY
Kelly McGonigal
T
“ Go after what it is that creates meaning
in your life and then trust yourself to
handle the stress that follows.”
28. Turn Anxiety into excitement
• Jeremy Jamieson – compared sports
with exams
– Told half of students stress was helpful
– Those higher hormones in their saliva did
better, but only with the intervention.
– Response is an asset
• Believed to work if you have fear, but not fear
of fear
• Heart pounding – pumping blood to your
organs
• Feel tense – That’s strength to your muscles
• Butterflies in your stomach – connecting to
meaning
• Palms sweaty, like a first date, it matters to you
29. Altruism
• Asked people to help others. Thought they
had more time than people given more time.
• Ignites tend and befriend response
• Works with big and small things
• After tragedies, people are driven to want to
help. Altruism born of suffering.
– Caring generates resilience, wiped out 30%
greater chance of death after big negative events
• Even in prisons - effective
31. The Mindfulness Revolution
• Google – Search inside yourself
• Ebay provides meditation rooms
• Many executives now “coming out” as meditators
• On the curriculum of Harvard business school
• Steve Jobs, Adriana Huffington
• Why?
– Reaction to information overload
– Because it works
– Because people like it
– Cuts healthcare costs
32. Eckart Tolle
“ "I cannot live with myself any
longer." This was the thought that
kept repeating in my mind. Then
suddenly I became aware of what a
peculiar thought it was. "Am I one
or two? If I cannot live with myself,
there must be two of me: the 'I'
and the 'self' that 'I' cannot live
with." "Maybe," I thought, "only
one of them is real.".
I was so stunned by this strange
realisation that my mind stopped. I
was fully conscious, but there were
no more thoughts."
33. Observing Thoughts
Activity Thoughts Feelings
• Where are you?
• With mindfulness you come off autopilot and
become an observer of your thoughts and
reality
34. The Gazelle
Dr Mark Williams, Professor of Clinical Psychology and Wellcome Principal
Research Fellow at the University of Oxford.
35. Getting Started – the Mindful minute
• Exercise – The simplest intervention
• Try it if you like with me
• I will time a minute, you job is just to observe
your breathing and count your breaths
• Try to think about all aspects of the breath and if
your mind wanders, gently don’t give that
thought weight and come back to your breath
• Now, remember that number. When you want a
mindful minute, pause and do that many breaths
36. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE
3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz
“"You will know (the good from the
bad) when you are calm, at peace.”
T
37. “You will know (the good from the
bad) when you are calm, at peace. ”
Yoda
4. PHILOSOPHY
T
38. Relating to the upside of Stress
• Mindfulness – especially meditation gives an
alternative if you:
– Want to reduce stress
– Need help to see stress clearly to be able to focus
on its upside
• It can also be part of the process of embracing
stress and seeing its upside. Sensing and being
in the moment is mindful
40. Science of Mindfulness
• Rooted in Buddhist traditions and philosophy, but can be
a completely secular practise
• Neuroscientist Richard Davidson found monks who had
done a lot of mindfulness had off the scale left pre
frontal cortices
– Brains rewired to be more positive. Neuroplasticity
• Lack of judgement of thoughts means natural creativity
thrives, in 1 study people meditating became 50% more
creative in tests
• Over time, the amygdala also is less activated, meaning
less fear and aggression
• After an 8 week Programme of MBSR, candidates had
more antibodies, better functioning immune systems
41. How to do more
• Just pay attention to moments, you don’t have
to meditate, can be eating, walking,
communicating even bathing. Observe without
judgement, but with compassion
• I use headspace, an app. Free 10 * 10 minute
guided meditations. A bad day may be a 2
headspace day. I also use one called ‘calm’
• Reading/Web videos/free and purchased
resources
• Helen’s presentation – x.ford.com/htwidt
42. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE
3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz
“Mindfulness is like exercise—it is not
sufficient to just understand the topic;
you can only benefit from it with
practice.”
T
43. “Mindfulness is like exercise—it is not
sufficient to just understand the topic;
you can only benefit from it with
practice.”
2. TECH/SCIENCE
Chade-Meng Tan
T
44. Resilience
• What is resilience?
“the capacity to rebound or bounce back from adversity,
conflict, failure, or even positive events, progress, and
increased responsibility” (Luthans et al, 2007, p.112)
• Natural Resilience – Who is resilient?
– A clear strong value system
– Strong social support network
– Confidence, hope and optimism
• How do you improve your resilience?
– With how you think about stress and handle it
45. Resilience
• Generally I find most people have heard of
PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
• But many have not even heard of:
Post Traumatic Growth
46. “What does not kill
me, makes me
stronger”
Friedrich Nietzsche, 1888
48. Response to Trauma
• How do we respond to Trauma?
PTSD
SUICIDE
RESILIENCE
MOST PEOPLE
POST
TRAUMATIC
GROWTH
49. 1. BUSINESS 2. TECH/SCIENCE
3. PSYCHOLOGY 4. PHILOSOPHY
Quote Quiz
“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes
us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.
For the world was built to develop character, and we must
learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help
us in our marching onward.”
T
50. 1. BUSINESS
T
“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes
us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.
For the world was built to develop character, and we must
learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help
us in our marching onward.”
51. Forms of Post Traumatic Growth
PTG
Spiritual
Changes
Personal
Strength
Relating to
Others
Appreciation
of Life
New
Possibilities
52. Stories
• Of all the easiest things to think of stories for,
post traumatic growth seems to work
• Michael – football
• Can have vicarious PTG – gain from other
people’s changes
• 20 minutes writing was powerful, 2 minutes
even made a difference, improved outcomes
for people
53. Active Listening
1 Asking open questions: any questions not requiring a
yes/no answer eg How? What? Where? Who? When?
and Why?
2 Summarising: a summary helps to show the person
that you have listened and understood them.
3 Reflecting: simply repeating back a key word or phrase
encourages the person to go on and expand on what has
been said.
4 Clarifying: sometimes a person will gloss over
an important point or emotion. Phrases such as
‘Tell me more about...’ can help the person clarify these
points for themselves.
5 Short words of encouragement: A simple ‘yes’, ‘go on’,
or ‘I see’ help the person to continue, and shows that you
are interested.
6 Reacting: People are often looking for empathy and
understanding. Phrases that show you’ve really
understood what something was like for them can help
build rapport and trust.
But remember this
54. Summary/Conclusion
• There is an upside to stress, if you can see it
differently. Challenge and tend and befriend
responses are great for work
– Focus on your values and chase meaning
– Accept your bodies chemical and physical changes as
helpful
– When bad things happen, growth is possible
• Mindfulness can help you embrace stress or
reduce it, your choice
– Life has stressors, but the second arrow can be more
in your control
56. References
• Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world – 5 May 2011,
Williams, Prof Mark ISBN-13: 978-0749953089
• Mindfulness For Dummies – 5 Dec 2014, Alidina, Shamash ISBN-13: 978-
1118868188
• The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, 7 Jan 2001, Tolle, Eckhart
ISBN-13: 978-0340733509
• A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, 16 Jun 2010, Stahl, Bob ISBN-13:
978-1572247086
• The Upside of Stress: Why stress is good for you (and how to get good at it)7 May
2015 by Kelly McGonigal ISBN-13: 978-0091955267
• http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?lan
guage=en
• Sane New World: Taming the Mind Paperback – 27 Feb 2014, by Ruby Wax
• How to work in difficult times: 1. the art of control http://x.ford.com/htwidt
• How to work in difficult times: 2. Making friends with stress
http://x.ford.com/htwidt
• http://www.businessinsider.com/silicon-valley-meditates-2013-6?IR=T
• http://www.forbes.com/sites/drewhansen/2012/10/31/a-guide-to-mindfulness-
at-work/
• https://hbr.org/2014/03/developing-mindful-leaders-for-the-c-suite/
• -Prof Mark Williams – Mindfulness -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY08aXxor20
57. The Journey to Here
• Positive Psychology, email, listening skills
• How to work in Difficult times with Mark Wilson
1. The art of Control
– Locus of control, other people, what’s better, time
management, procrastination, ABCD technique
2. Making Friends with Stress
– Stress, reframing, grit, listening, flow, email
management
All at: http://x.ford.com/htwidt
Hinweis der Redaktion
Pete
Anger, Avoid or hide
Causes – stress index – not helpful. Your life will make you sick.
Values are challenged or we feel threatened.
Prof psychology NWU
Gazelle – chased by a lion and kicks in fight or flight, but once survived, calms down very quickly and goes back to eating. Humans have the ability to think much more about the past and the future, imagining and reminiscing including painful events.
MBSR – Mindfulness Based Stress reduction
Even physical strength. More negative life events survived and people were able to tolerate more time with their hand in an ice bucket.