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Welcome to
Love & Logic
 A GUIDE FOR PARENTS
        Presented by Dr. Jim Scott
Goals of Parenting
Raise Children who are:

      Independent
  Able to think critically
  Good problem solving
   Know they are loved
          Secure
THREE STYLES OF
PARENTING

Helicopters

      Drill Sergeants

              Consultants
Helicopters
Hover
Rescue

As parents you
do it all!

Children learn they
do not have
to be accountable.
Drill Sergeants
Work by command and intimidation


As parents you call all
the shots.


As a child you are taught not to think!
Consultants
Offer help when asked.

As parents your role is to
help children solve their
own problems

As a child you are valued .
You learn there are solutions and
consequences to their behaviors.
Love and Logic
 Principles

Adults set firm limits
in a loving way.

Childhood mistakes are seen as
 an opportunity for Learning
Instant
Empathetic                        Enforceable
Response                          Statements



             When the adult has
             immediate Control




 Choices Within                   Uh, Oh
     Limits                        song
Problem Solving

 Instant
 Empathetic                                 Delayed
 Response                                   consequence




                      When the Adult has
                     No Immediate Control
One-Liners to
                                             Strategic
Neutralize Arguing
                                             Training




                         Restitution
NUTRALIZING ARGUING
       ANTICIPATORY CONSEQUENCES
         EMPATHETIC RESPONSES
     CREATE ENFORCEABLE STATEMENTS
         CHOICES WITHIN LIMITS
              “UH, OH SONG”
              RESTITTUTION
GUIDING KIDS TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS
Neutralize Arguing
• Don’t allow your children to
  control your actions or you!
Two steps to Neutralize Arguing

 1) Use Instant Empathetic
 Responses
    The expression of genuine
 empathy has an amazing ability to
 soak up emotions.
           I understand..
          You sound up set
     I know just what you mean
Step 2 Neutralize Arguing

 Use love and logic one-
 liners
     It is important that you use
     these one liners over and over.
Famous One Liners
Keep your composure

Listen be reflective

Create Statements that do not
allow for control

       Respond with Empathy
Famous One liners
• Send “Can do” Messages

• Give only choices you like

• Take care of yourself and set limits

• Use the sandwich technique
To get a free Love and Logic
Materials and Catalogue




   Call 1-800-338-4065
   Mon-Friday 7-5 p.m.
   (Mountain Time)

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Love and logic - slides

  • 1. Welcome to Love & Logic A GUIDE FOR PARENTS Presented by Dr. Jim Scott
  • 2. Goals of Parenting Raise Children who are: Independent Able to think critically Good problem solving Know they are loved Secure
  • 3. THREE STYLES OF PARENTING Helicopters Drill Sergeants Consultants
  • 4. Helicopters Hover Rescue As parents you do it all! Children learn they do not have to be accountable.
  • 5. Drill Sergeants Work by command and intimidation As parents you call all the shots. As a child you are taught not to think!
  • 6. Consultants Offer help when asked. As parents your role is to help children solve their own problems As a child you are valued . You learn there are solutions and consequences to their behaviors.
  • 7. Love and Logic Principles Adults set firm limits in a loving way. Childhood mistakes are seen as an opportunity for Learning
  • 8. Instant Empathetic Enforceable Response Statements When the adult has immediate Control Choices Within Uh, Oh Limits song
  • 9. Problem Solving Instant Empathetic Delayed Response consequence When the Adult has No Immediate Control One-Liners to Strategic Neutralize Arguing Training Restitution
  • 10. NUTRALIZING ARGUING ANTICIPATORY CONSEQUENCES EMPATHETIC RESPONSES CREATE ENFORCEABLE STATEMENTS CHOICES WITHIN LIMITS “UH, OH SONG” RESTITTUTION GUIDING KIDS TO SOLVE THEIR OWN PROBLEMS
  • 11. Neutralize Arguing • Don’t allow your children to control your actions or you!
  • 12. Two steps to Neutralize Arguing 1) Use Instant Empathetic Responses The expression of genuine empathy has an amazing ability to soak up emotions. I understand.. You sound up set I know just what you mean
  • 13. Step 2 Neutralize Arguing Use love and logic one- liners It is important that you use these one liners over and over.
  • 14. Famous One Liners Keep your composure Listen be reflective Create Statements that do not allow for control Respond with Empathy
  • 15. Famous One liners • Send “Can do” Messages • Give only choices you like • Take care of yourself and set limits • Use the sandwich technique
  • 16. To get a free Love and Logic Materials and Catalogue Call 1-800-338-4065 Mon-Friday 7-5 p.m. (Mountain Time)