1. Crucial Confrontations are:
Crucial  face to face accountability conversations
Confrontations  when someone has not lived up to an
agreement
 and you talk with them directly with respect
 and the intention is to discover a shared plan
Cycle that drives our behavior
 Take the VitalSmarts Instrument
 Total number of “yes” responses in each group
0-1 You can teach about this
2-3 Room for improvement
4-5 Area needs work
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2. WORK ON ME FIRST
The dangerous traps of WHAT BOTHERS ME MOST?
Content Pattern Relationship
Silence…………………………..Violence
 we don’t get the results we want
 we develop patterns where we avoid/attack more DECIDE IF
 we reinforce the very behavior we want to change I WILL INITIATE THE CONVERSATION
Risks of having it
Risks of not having it (for you/the team/the kids)
WORK ON ME MORE
Important Considerations
MASTER MY STORY  What could make it safe to have this
Getting past they’re wrong and I’m right conversation successfully?
Why might a reasonable person do this? (positive intent)
 What’s my opening line?
FIND A WAY TO
DESCRIBE THE GAP  What will I ask for?
Just the facts---no assumptions
In one or two sentences
Make it receivable
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