1. Jeremy Kyle – My Husband Screened My Lover’s Child!
*Studio, with Jeremy Kyle, Iva Ditall, Mr Losis *.
JK: Hello there. I’m Jeremy Kyle. Have you ever been screened against your will? Been told that you
have a lifelong condition that you’ve got to live with? Or been told that you’re ‘all-clear’, only to be
told later that you have 6 months to live? With us today is concerned mother of five, Iva Ditall, and
her secret lover Mr T.B.Q. Losis. Iva, I’ll come to you first - tell us, what’s happened?
ID: Well, Jeremy, I’m here today to confront the doctor who told me that I had breast cancer.
JK: Did you have cancer?
ID: No I didn’t, but they made me sit through loads of tests, and took a biopsy.
JK: That must have been horrible – how dare they do that to you!
ID: I was really stressed, and it was proper horrible. I don’t understand why they couldn’t just tell me
the truth.
JK: Well let’s bring him on now. With us here on the show, ladies and gentlemen, is Doctor Aryurill,
come on out here.
*Boos and hisses as Dr Aryurill enters*.
JK: Doctor, is what she’s saying true? Did you really lie to her like that?
DA: Yes, but...
JK: You made her think that she had a serious, and potentially life-threatening condition? (ETHICAL
POINT #1)
DA: Well you see...
JK: You monster.
DA: No, it wasn’t like that. Here in this country we run a number of screening programmes.
JK: ... Screaming programmes?
DA: No, screening programmes. We look at individuals in a population to see if they have a disease
before the symptoms become apparent, in the hope that we can make them better. Newborns in
the UK are screened for a variety of conditions after birth, and there are a number of other
screening programmes in the UK – have a look at this handy pamphlet.
*Show timeline image of screening programmes*
ID: That’s all very pretty, but I’m healthy, aren’t I? I don’t feel unwell! (ETHICAL POINT #2)
DA: Sometimes the tests can be wrong and lead to unnecessary treatment and distress. I’m really
very sorry that this happened to you.

2. JK: I can see that we’re going to need some expert advice here. On the other line is Professor
Knowledgeson. Professor, is this a common occurrence?
*cut to interview with Professor*
PK: Sadly, although screening can deliver great benefits, the tests involved are not always that
reliable. Breast cancer screening, for example, can lead to unnecessary tests being conducted which
are not always 100% accurate. Such ‘false positive’ results are not uncommon and are known to
cause distress to the patient (ETHICAL POINT #3).
*Return to studio*
JK: I see, Professor. And might I say you’re looking particularly lovely today. Is it possible for the tests
to be false negative also?
*Cut to interview with professor*
PK: Why yes, you’re quite right. You’re so pretty *ahem* clever. Yes, it’s possible, although less
likely, that tests may say that a person is fine when they actually have the condition. This is likely to
delay the true diagnosis. (ETHICAL POINT #4)
*Return to studio*
JK: Thank-you for that. Secret lover Mr T.B.Q. Losis, we’ll come to you next, where do you fit in with
all this?
TL: The professor raises an interesting point, which I’m particularly concerned about. I’m concerned
that a large amount of money is being spent unnecessarily conducting these unreliable tests, for
very little tangible benefit. I wonder if the good professor would be kind enough to shed some light
on my concerns.
*Cut to Professor*
PK: I appreciate your concerns. Screening is expensive to set up and implement (ETHICAL POINT #5).
It is the job of the UK National Screening Committee to decide which policies to implement, to make
sure that they are cost-effective and deliver health benefits.
*Return to studio*
JK: Mr Losis, have you ever had any experience with screening programmes yourself?
TL: Why yes, actually, in a sense. My third illegitimate child had to be screened for tuberculosis after
some immigrant kid brought the condition to the country, and infected his school (ETHICAL POINT
#6).
JK: Funny you should mention that – we have been able to trace down your illegitimate child, little
Billy Losis! Here is a pre-recorded interview with him:
*In interview*
JK: Hi Billy. How old are you?

3. BL: 10 and a half!
JK: Tell me what happened?
BL: We were in class, and then some people came in and started poking us with needles. It was
scary, I didn’t like it.
JK: Do you know why this happened?
BL: There’s this foreign girl in my class who infected us all. I don’t like her any more, she’s mean. It
hurt. I wish she hadn’t come to the country. But I only know it was her because Sandy told Gene who
told Sarah who told Helen who told Rob who told Jane who told me. I don’t think she wanted us to
know (ETHICAL POINT #7).
*Back at studio*
JK: Well there we go. Doctor Aryurill, there seem to be lots of unhappy people out there. Do you
have anything further to add?
DA: Only that, Mr Losis, that’s my illegitimate child, not yours!
TL: WHAT?!
DA: You heard me.
TL: You bastard.
DA: I hate you.
TL: I hate you too!
*Fight breaks out, someone knocks the camera, screen goes blank and is replaced with TV testpage
and tone*