Do you dread difficult conversations? Avoiding conflict doesn't save relationships. Managing conflict makes them stronger. Learn the tools that turn conflicts into positive outcomes in this workshop-style course with LinkedIn vice president, philosopher of leadership, and influencer Fred Kofman. Learn more from Fred Kofman's video course here: http://www.lynda.com/Business-Skills-tutorials/Fred-Kofman-Managing-Conflict/423244-2.html

1. FredKofmanON MANAGING CONFLICT

2. But it doesn’t have to be difficult if we approach it with
Mostofusareuncomfortablehavingconversationsaroundconflict.
THERIGHTTOOLSTHERIGHTFRAMEOFMIND
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

3. Thewrongframeofmind:Iwanttowin,andIwantyoutolose.
But there’s no such thing as
“winning” a fight in a relationship.
The moment you’re fighting,
you’ve already lost.
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

4. Instead,lookatconflictascomingtogethertosolveaproblem.
This framing dissolves
90% of the animosity.
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

5. Almostanyconflictconversationcanberesolved
ifyoupursuethese4goals:
Listen and
understand what the
other person thinks
and feels.
Explain your own
thoughts, so the other
person understands where
you’re coming from.
Discuss if there’s a way
to come together with
mutual benefit.
Once you agree on
something, make
commitments and
get it done.
1
2
3
4
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

6. Howyoulisteninaconflictconversationiskey.Followthesesteps:
BEQUIET
Listen quietly without interrupting and pay attention
ENCOURAGETHEM
Nod, smile, and follow along as you listen
CHECKYOURUNDERSTANDING
Summarize what you heard in 1 or 2 short phrases, and ask if you got it right
VALIDATETHEIRREASONING
Acknowledge that you now understand their point of view
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

7. HOWYOUSPEAKALSOAFFECTSYOURCONFLICT
Begin with an “I”
statement to show
it’s your opinion that
you’re sharing
BEGINWITHI
Explain your
reasoning, or why
you believe it
Explain
Propose your idea
or solution
Propose
Ask what they think
about it
ASK
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

8. Conflictsmayrequiresomenegotiation.Trythis:
Negotiate for what really matters to you,
rather than around a “position.”
Good negotiators find ways to give the
other person what they really want—
without necessarily giving them what
they originally asked for.
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

9. Themostimportantpartofnegotiationhappensbeforeyoubegin.
Prepareforpossibleoutcomeswith“BATNA”:
EST
LTERNATIVE
OA
EGOTIATED
GREEMENT
B
A
T
N
A
Ask yourself what’s the best you can do without the cooperation of the other
person. What will you do if you cannot agree? What can you do on your own?
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

10. Agreementswithoutcommitmentareworthless.
Somakeacommitment.
Discuss who’s
going to do what... and by when.
FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT

11. WATCH NOW
ON MANAGING CONFLICT
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toseethesetipsinaction.
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