Journeying my Labyrinth
Life is like a labyrinth. The moment you were born, you start the journey and enter the labyrinth. As
you enter, different passages can be seen. In life, different decisions should be made. For starters,
companions and maps were provided to serve as a guide. In life, our parents are the ones that carry us
and decide which way to go because we were still weak to walk. Later in life they become the map that
guides us, but we were already given the choice weather to obey them or not. As you grow older, the
map becomes yourself and your own understanding with this world. Its scope widens as you discover
more of the world until you find the best passage you’ll take to find the exit or to find success. In the
labyrinth you may experience dead ends, you have no choice but to return and find another passage
you think is better. In the labyrinth, stones may bump you down, but you need to stand up and walk
again. But in the labyrinth you are not alone, you may find friends that can help you find the exit or you
may find enemies that will trick you and pull you down. As you go deeper and closer to the exit, bigger
and more difficult challenges are encountered. Finding the Exit in the labyrinth is not a competition. In
the labyrinth of life there were a lot of exits of success that can be found because people have different
interpretations of success. As of now, I am wandering inside my labyrinth hoping to find a specific exit.
Will I be able to find it? Or will I change route and goal for another exit? What do you think is waiting
outside this labyrinth? What if after you find the exit you realize that you have just entered another
labyrinth and have a bigger goal of finding again another exit? I think contentment is the key and the
journey to the exit is what will matter most than the exit itself.
Entering the Labyrinth
In the 28th
of December 1997, a child named Luzille Azul Rodriguez was born. She is very lucky she was
born in this world with a complete and caring family. She has a brother and has become the youngest
child or “bunso” in the family. Before she was born 2 of her siblings did not successfully continued their
development because their mother had miscarriages. As she grows her mama always tells her that she is
her most awaited gift. Her mother has a heart disease called mitral valve prolapse where extreme
emotions like too much pain are fatal. With this condition, birth is a gamble yet she made a bet. God is
good for making my mom safe because I am born in the normal way of delivery even if it is a painless
induced labor.

Being carried straight forward
“Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did except you”
According to my mother, most of my infancy years were spent at our small grocery store. She described
that I am just a few weeks old baby when she brought me to our store and helped my father there.
Mama is the cashier back then, and she said I usually play with coins. She remembered and gleefully told
me that few customers even play with me and they come back to see me again. She also told me that I
started to try talking at around 1-2 years old. She testifies that I am a well behaved child that rarely
cries. Good thing I was not a naughty kid because my infancy years were the years I had asthma. She
said that every time I’m having an attack I can’t sleep lying down, so I should be carried and danced with
a lullaby for a comfortable position to sleep. Usually my attack lasts overnight so my father, brother and
mother change shifts carrying me.
Walk To the left, Map decides where to go
Most of my childhood was spent in our store because it is our only source of income. At three years old,
everyone is very busy. Mama just let me play inside and let me eat whatever I want in our grocery store
without knowing that eating much junk food is dangerous for my health. I was hospitalized and the
doctor diagnosed that I suffer from urinary tract infection. In this age, I am already curious and
observant. My brother is already in the elementary years that time because we have a 10 years age gap.
When he is studying I started to meddle with his stuffs and became interested with school. Mama
brought some coloring books, there I learned about stages of a butterfly and about living and non-living
things. In terms of teaching me some basics, mama told me that she stopped me to drink in a milk bottle
by throwing the bottles into the flood and let me watch it flow away. After that she told me that I should
start drinking in a cup because I’m big already. According to her I’m even saying good bye to the bottles
as it flow away and I’m having fun seeing it flow with the water. She even said that I did not ask for the
milk bottle even ones because I know the bottles left me already. In terms to potty training, mama
thought it to me in an early age, but was not that strict. I stopped peeing in bed when I was in kinder
because my mom is already shouting at me when I do so. I think that age is already late to develop pee
training. There were also funny moments when I was three. The first time I experienced being a flower
girl in a wedding is during this age. At the entourage, I and my partner are the first in line. The wedding
coordinator asked every flower girl to hold hands with their partner, but I don’t want to. I even cried
instead and that tantrums lasted up to the altar. Mama is very angry and started pinching me. When she
asked the reason why I’m crying I answered “pangit kasi ang partner ko.” Mama smiled, embraced and
wiped my tears instead.
At four, Mama enrolled me in a Day Care Center. I can already remember most of the events in this age.
I remember that I am having difficulty learning numbers and letters because what my weird parents
thought me at three is about the developing stages of a butterfly and the difference between living
things and non-living things. I became disinterested with the lessons so all I did there is eat my snack. 
An important detail is that the day care center is located at our ancestral house's barangay which is far
from where we currently live, so I am forced to stay with my grandpa and away from my parents. This
experience is memorable. Positively, we have various animals and plants there such as pigs, chickens,
carabaos, and cows; mango tree, santol, pilinut tree, and etc. Every morning I help lolo feed the chickens
with grated corn bits, so there, I became very close and contented with nature and my grandfather.
Negatively, I usually miss my family and cry often at night. I remember, usually my thoughts were about
their safety. I thought something bad might happen to them and I might not see them again. These
thoughts were the reasons why I cry.

At 5 years old I was reunited with my family and formally started schooling. I am already comfortable to
be left alone so mama didn’t have problem leaving me at school. I am very quiet in school. I don’t
remember having friends. I think I don’t give much thought to my school environment back then
because I can’t remember many details. At 6, I think I still don’t have close friends but I have
acquaintances. The clearest school memory I have is during our kinder intramurals. All were required to
be a cheer dancer and one of every team will be a cheerleader. At 7, I am already a grade 1 student. This
means that class starts at 7:15 in the morning. I had difficulty adjusting with this schedule because in my
early childhood routine, I sleep at around 9 to 10 in the evening because our store closes at those time.
My mom is the one accompanying me to school and I am always late back then. I still don’t care much at
school but I already noticed that not having friends weren’t normal. I am ok at making small talks so I am
not really a loner or weirdo. I just don’t have someone that I can permanently be with every day like
what my classmates with friends do. They group together every day at break time.
My family doesn’t have strict and stated rules in the house. Common punishments like face the wall, and
being grounded were not applied to us. My parents’ ways of discipline is either talking calmly to me with
a cause and effect story or horribly shouting with harsh words and repetitively babble the wrong thing I
made. I guess my main basis of weighing what is right or wrong to do were through experience. If I did
something and I was not reprimanded then it’s good, if I did something and were reprimanded then it’s
bad.
Walk to the right, Scope of the Map is Widening
Elementary days were the days where I am very obedient. In school, I don’t like to be reprimanded so I
always do all my homework and listen to teachers. Academically, I am just an average student at this
stage because I only study at school not at home. My perspective of school is just a standard of living or
just a requirement. In terms of friends, I choose to only have few friends. Most of my friends were those
who are being bullied and those who were also quiet. If I were to name our small group, I can say we
were like the wallflowers. I am not close to any of my teachers back then, I see them as authorities not
friends, but I can observe that some of my classmates are close to my teachers. They can laugh and have
joke time with them, but with me I can foresee that it’ll just be awkward and they may just reject me. In
terms of extracurricular activities, I have none. It is not required and no one will be angry if I will not join
any activity unless an activity were declared compulsory, I will surely join for I don’t want to be
reprimanded. I remember one time when I am in grade 4, all intermediate students (grade 4-5) were
required to make an artwork or an article to serve as an elimination round for the schools press
conference. This activity is a journalism contest where the winners will represent the school and
compete with other schools representatives in the city. I passed the elimination and a letter confirming
it was given. The letter should be returned with an answer from the parents if the child will be allowed
to attend the school press conference or not. I gave the letter to my parents and they want me to join. I
was thinking that time that it was not required so why join, I even cried because I don’t want to join. But
my parents insisted and I don’t want to be reprimanded so I joined and went to the competition. I think
that was my first extra effort in school. I didn’t win any award in that competition.
At home I always try to please everyone. In this stage, my life was just so simple. There were only few
responsibilities both at home and at school. My parents are not so strict to grades so I am not obliged to
really study hard. Also at home, there are no stated or listed responsibilities so all I have to do is be

flexible to the moods and needs of the people around me. My Parents are usually busy at our store and
half of my childhood, my brother is studying high school in Naga City which is approximately 30 km far
from our hometown Nabua. My brother leaves home at 5-6 in the morning and arrives at our store at 6-
7 in the evening every day. Both of us go home and do our schoolwork there while our parents stay at
our store to earn money. This routine did not last long, eventually my brother started to get a boarding
house and he had his college degree in manila. Because of this, no one can accompany me at home
every evening and I don’t want to study in a noisy place like our store, so my parents hired a maid. I
experienced having different “ates” for my entire childhood and I did not have an attachment even to
the one who stayed the longest. My relation to my family is not that attached but they never failed to
show their affection and love to me. My mother always hugs me tell “I love you” to me. I’ve been also
very close to pets ever since. I talk to them, hug and play with them all the time. I also had some human
playmates that is not from school, but that friendship didn’t last long because some of them were
thieves and most of them I just lost contact. All in all I can say that I am very contented with my life at
this stage in terms of home and school.
Turn left and Run not minding the map
Adolescent years were the years of all my confusions in life. The right and wrong which is a black and
white for me during my early stages already started to have some shades of gray. I became too
conscious with my physical attributes because I always feel that those people around me might be
laughing at me. I have lots of pimples back then so my bully classmates tease me, based on my
childhood I think I should have been highly affected, but I don’t really care much with the negative
things they were saying. Maybe that time I am already accepting those teases so I do not fight back. As
time pass the bullies got bored of me so they just ignore me instead. In my early adolescent years,
specifically at grades 5 and 6, I became more aware and I am already exerting extra effort in my
academics not just because it is required but because I want to, and it feels good. I remember one time,
a teacher saw my potential and asked me if I want to be the leader of a certain group task. First thing
that entered my mind is I can’t. I’m afraid to fail both my group mates and my teacher. I am not used to
the feeling that something is expected from me. I always feel that I can’t handle bigger responsibilities,
so I declined the offer. I graduated with honors in my elementary years.
Lost in an unfamiliar route
In high school there were too many changes and significant events that happened in my life. My parents
often have fight; they do not talk with each other for months. Our home back then was just a small
bungalow house with only one room. Since my brother is at Manila, the three of us sleeps together. It is
an awkward atmosphere for me because I do not know what to do. I am not comfortable at
approaching, questioning, and confronting other people. I just observe them, until one time, my parents
had a huge fight. My mother was already physically harming my father and few days later my father is
leaving us. It is not my fathers will to leave us; he was forced to, not just by my mother but with other
concerned friends of our family as well. I do not understand the situation back then, all I know is that my
parents were already separated even if not legally. Every summer vacation I went to my father’s
hometown. Both of us were not expressive but I hope he felt that I was never angry at him and that I

love him so much because I felt his love for me as well even if he’s away. I felt his love even if we do not
contact each other much.
A rock that bumped me down
Papa left us when I was just 13 years old. I was in third year high school when one morning mama
whispered Papa is dead. I don’t know what to do after she told me; I don’t know how to express
feelings. I chose to do my usual routine and went to school. I did not tell anyone about it, no one even
noticed. Mama went to our school and told my teachers we’ll be going to my father’s funeral.
Stood up and walk again
Academically, I learned to be competitive. I prioritized my studies and enjoy studying. I even joined
some extracurricular activities because I’m aiming for the honor roll. The school I was enrolled were only
starting to have high school division. Our batch is the Pioneer and there were only few students. We
were only 20 in the class, and they were my classmates for four years. I developed deep friendship with
them and I learned to be flexible and to adjust with different personalities. I never had an enemy nor
experienced a fight. I think I am too innocent back then and I almost trust everyone.
Exploring the labyrinth
This stage is where I tried to be committed and have a relationship. I am not a typical high school girl; I
am more like the nerdy type so having a commitment was unexpected. That experience was the most
foolish, and a sad memory I always hope to forget. I took the risk of committing in a long-distant
relationship. The only medium of communication is through sms, we barely call each other because both
of us were uncomfortable. I stayed in the relationship for 3 years until I discovered a dirty little secret.
Until now I can’t forgive that person.
Chose a major passage way
Now I’m 18 years old and I’m in college. In a sudden, I underwent many changes. I have new friends,
new environment, new culture, new teachers, new home and many other new things. All my life I
almost lived with the same person and environment, but now everything is new. I have been given
freedom to choose and to decide. I have been learning to view things in a wider and deeper scope. I
have been trying new things. As of now, I continue to observe, learn and move forward to finding
contentment and success.