1.
HUMAN CONNECTION
The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Shiva Krishnan & Lisi Hocke

2.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A Story in 4 Chapters

3.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A Story in 4 Chapters
Origin
How did it all start?

4.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A Story in 4 Chapters
Origin
How did it all start?
Journey
What did we learn?

5.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A Story in 4 Chapters
Origin
How did it all start?
Journey
What did we learn?
Impact
What changed?
You
What can you do?

6.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A Story in 4 Chapters
Origin
How did it all start?
Journey
What did we learn?
Impact
What changed?
You
What can you do?

7.
ORIGIN
How did it all start?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

8.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
SHIVA‘S LEADERSHIP WORKSHOP SERIES

9.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
LET’S WORKTOGETHER

10.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
HOW ABOUT PAIRING?

11.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
SO IT ALL STARTED…

12.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A BIT MORE CONTEXT

13.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A BIT MORE CONTEXT
10 participants

14.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A BIT MORE CONTEXT
10 participants
6 half-day
workshops

15.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A BIT MORE CONTEXT
10 participants
6 half-day
workshops Additional offers
in between

16.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A BIT MORE CONTEXT
10 participants
6 half-day
workshops Additional offers
in between
Several follow-
up sessions

17.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A BIT MORE CONTEXT
10 participants
6 half-day
workshops
Overall
nearly 1 year
Additional offers
in between
Several follow-
up sessions

18.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
A BIT MORE CONTEXT
10 participants
6 half-day
workshops
Overall
nearly 1 year
Additional offers
in between
Several follow-
up sessions
Re-creating the whole
series from the ground

19.
JOURNEY
What did we learn?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

20.
SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD
START
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

21.
SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD
START
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
What are our
expectations?

22.
SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD
START
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
What are our
expectations?
What is important to
each of us? Why?

23.
SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD
START
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
What are our
expectations?
What is important to
each of us? Why?
What can put
us at ease?

24.
SETTING OURSELVES UP FOR A GOOD
START
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
What are our
expectations?
Where are our
boundaries?
What is important to
each of us? Why?
What can put
us at ease?

25.
WHAT IS A CONTRACT?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

26.
WHAT IS A CONTRACT?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
“Contracting” is a concept from
Transactional Analysis, a psychoanalytic
theory and method of therapy or coaching

27.
WHAT IS A CONTRACT?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Explicit bilateral commitment to a well-
defined course of action (Eric Berne, 1966)
“Contracting” is a concept from
Transactional Analysis, a psychoanalytic
theory and method of therapy or coaching

28.
TYPES OF CONTRACTS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

29.
TYPES OF CONTRACTS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Procedural
• Admin stuff
• Time, place,
money

30.
TYPES OF CONTRACTS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Procedural
• Admin stuff
• Time, place,
money
Professional
• Expectations
from each role
• Understand
responsibilities

31.
TYPES OF CONTRACTS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Procedural
• Admin stuff
• Time, place,
money
Professional
• Expectations
from each role
• Understand
responsibilities
Psychological
• Style of
working
• Underlying
dynamics
• Unspoken
Feelings

32.
OUR INITIAL CONTRACT (EXCERPT)
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

33.
OUR INITIAL CONTRACT (EXCERPT)
Procedural
“We have 1
feedback call
after each
workshop”
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

34.
OUR INITIAL CONTRACT (EXCERPT)
Procedural
“We have 1
feedback call
after each
workshop”
Professional
“When
facilitating, we
expect each
other to align
and potentially
communicate a
change of plans
via our back
channel chat”
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

35.
OUR INITIAL CONTRACT (EXCERPT)
Procedural
“We have 1
feedback call
after each
workshop”
Professional
“When
facilitating, we
expect each
other to align
and potentially
communicate a
change of plans
via our back
channel chat”
Psychological
“We can feel safe
to talk about
boundaries when
crossed”
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

36.
WHATWE IMAGINED OUR JOURNEYTO
LOOK LIKE WITH SUCH A GREAT START
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

37.
WHATWE IMAGINED OUR JOURNEYTO
LOOK LIKE WITH SUCH A GREAT START
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
… and how it
actually went

38.
CONTRACTING & RE-CONTRACTING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

39.
CONTRACTING & RE-CONTRACTING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Unspoken assumptions

40.
CONTRACTING & RE-CONTRACTING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Unspoken assumptions
→ Clarify expectations,
needs and assumptions

41.
GENUINE APPRECIATIONS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

42.
GENUINE APPRECIATIONS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Uncertainty: am I safe with the other person?

43.
GENUINE APPRECIATIONS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Uncertainty: am I safe with the other person?
→ Appreciate and acknowledge

44.
PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

45.
PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Negative impact on participants

46.
PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Negative impact on participants
→ Influence each other positively

47.
LEVERAGING OUR STRENGTHS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

48.
LEVERAGING OUR STRENGTHS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Failing to cater to our needs

49.
LEVERAGING OUR STRENGTHS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Failing to cater to our needs
→ Align on how you work well together

50.
TREAT AS EQUALS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

51.
TREAT AS EQUALS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Dismissing each other’s ideas

52.
TREAT AS EQUALS
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Dismissing each other’s ideas
→ Respect each other and
treat each other with dignity

53.
SOWHAT MADE PAIRING WORK FOR US?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

54.
SOWHAT MADE PAIRING WORK FOR US?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Investing in the human connection
was the key for us

55.
FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE
FOR USWHEN PAIRING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

56.
FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE
FOR USWHEN PAIRING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions

57.
FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE
FOR USWHEN PAIRING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions
2. Appreciate and acknowledge

58.
FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE
FOR USWHEN PAIRING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions
2. Appreciate and acknowledge
3. Influence each other positively

59.
FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE
FOR USWHEN PAIRING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions
2. Appreciate and acknowledge
3. Influence each other positively
4. Align on how you work well together

60.
FIVETHINGSTHAT MADE A DIFFERENCE
FOR USWHEN PAIRING
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions
2. Appreciate and acknowledge
3. Influence each other positively
4. Align on how you work well together
5. Respect and treat each other with dignity

61.
IMPACT
Was changed?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

62.
PERSONAL GROWTH – LEARNING ASWE
TEACH & LEADING BY EXAMPLE
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

63.
SHARED OWNERSHIP – IT BECAME “OURS”
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

64.
WAY MORE IMPACTFUL WORKSHOPS –WE
COULDN’T HAVE DONETHIS ON OUR OWN
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

65.
YOU
What can you do?
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

66.
REMINDER:WHAT WORKED FOR US
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
1. Clarify expectations, needs and assumptions
2. Appreciate and acknowledge
3. Influence each other positively
4. Align on how you work well together
5. Respect and treat each other with dignity

67.
FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

68.
FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
“How can I let you know if
something is not working?”

69.
FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
“How can I let you know if
something is not working?” “What is our time and
space for appreciations?”

70.
FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
“How can I let you know if
something is not working?” “What is our time and
space for appreciations?”
“How will we keep each
other accountable?”

71.
FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
“What do you need so we
can work well together?”
“How can I let you know if
something is not working?” “What is our time and
space for appreciations?”
“How will we keep each
other accountable?”

72.
FIVE QUESTIONSTO ASKYOUR PAIR
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
“What do you need so we
can work well together?”
“How can I let you know if
something is not working?” “What is our time and
space for appreciations?”
“How will we keep each
other accountable?”
“What will make you think
we own this together?”

73.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke

74.
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
HUMAN CONNECTION
The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience

75.
HUMAN CONNECTION
The Key to a Beneficial Pairing Experience
@shiv_krish & @lisihocke
Recommended resources:
bit.ly/leadershipResources
Thank you!