Perfectionism is an occupational hazard with gifted kids. If you would like more information, you can download the accompanying handout at http://bit.ly/lvg-perfect-handout. Learn more at http://giftedguru.com.

1. Perfection{ism}
an occupational hazard of giftedness

2. Try as hard as we may for
PERFECTION
the net result of our labors is an
amazing variety
of imperfectness.

3. We are surprised at
our own versatility in being able to
FAIL
in so many different ways.
~ Samuel McChord Crothers

4. What are some of the different
faces of perfectionism?
{According to Adelson & Wilson}

5. Academic Achiever
I must get

6. or the world will end.

7. I
Aggravated Accuracy Assessors
exactness and fixation on redos

8. Risk Evaders
If I can't do it perfectly,
I won't even
try.

9. Controlling Image Managers

10. I could have it if I wanted it.
{but I'm pretending I don't want it}

11. Procrastinating
Perfectionists

12. {I'm putting off
turning in my
work because a
zero for not
turning it in is
not as bad as
earning an 80}

13. Consequences of
Perfectionism

14. please note:
Perfection{ism}
isn't always a problem

15. it can be
healthy
{here's how to tell}

16. ask these
questions

17. does the child
receive
pleasure from
working hard?

18. are the child's
standards based on
personal desire
{as opposed to outside pressure}?

19. is the child
capable of
relaxing?

20. is the child's
work
mastery
{rather than grade} -
oriented?

21. the correct
answer to all
of these
questions is
{yes}

22. it can also be
{un}healthy
{here's how to tell}

23. ask yourself
these
questions

24. are the child's
feelings about
his/her effort based
on external
evaluations?

25. is the child
incapable of
relaxing or letting
go?

26. is the child
motivated by low
self-esteem?

27. is the child
unsatisfied with
even a high level of
effort?

28. the desirable answer
to these questions is
{no}

29. there is a difference between
perfection{ism}
and the pursuit of excellence

30. Thanks {I think}.
But now what?

31. here are some
{big} ideas
and specific techniques

32. {big}

33. Excellent
is good enough

34. strategies

35. this
A-

36. A+
is as okay as

37. encourage
{excellence and mastery}
as opposed to
{perfection}

38. from 1 - 5
assign each task a level

39. 1just make sure it's done
{little pillows optional}

40. do your absolute best
5
{something really important's at stake}

41. perfectionists
think everything is
a five

42. when really most
tasks are about a
three.

43. {big}

44. What Ithaka has to teach us

45. is that it's not about getting there

46. It's the
journey,
and it
always was.

47. strategies

48. kids need to
develop these
traits

49. and they do that through reading
and hearing about people who
have them

50. Try...
Carol Dweck's Mindset
Angela Duckworth's Grit
Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers

51. or biographies (try ones about
Ernest Shackelton or other
explorers)

52. {big}

53. Don't be
your own
worst
enemy.

54. strategies

55. although the
following quote
is true…

56. The harder
you work,
the harder it
is to
surrender.
{vince lombardi}

57. it is also important to learn
{goal disengagement}

58. There will
be no
crossing
this bridge
when you
come to it.

59. that's not quitting
{it's common sense}

60. and then you prepare to
re-engage

61. adults need to teach
kids how to avoid
self-talk mistakes

62. they shouldn't hear "I'm
so stupid“ from us
unless it's what we want
them to say

63. develop an
"ask,don't tell" policy

64. no one likes being
told how to feel

65. Model strategies for dealing with
{stress}.
This is NOT
the only
strategy!

66. {big}

67. Just do it.
{nike totally had this right}

68. strategies

69. there's no need to spend
20 hours on one
assignment
{doing it over and over and over}

70. don't turn
school
work into
this kind
of thing

71. because
even a tea
party gets
old after
awhile

72. Warning:
due dates are
closer than they
appear
Work is never done.
It’s just due.
Just DO it.
paraphrased from Linda Kapfer

73. Be a
Weeble
and a
Bozo.

74. because it
turns out
that a fat,round
bottom is a
really good thing.

75. Weebles wobble,
but they don't
{fall down}

76. we want to teach
kids to rock back
up when they
get knocked down

77. Resilience is
made
of ordinary
magic.

78. This little
girl took
her own
cancer
and used
it to help
others.

79. {to the
tune of
$45
million}
www.alexslemonade.org

80. {big}

81. Sometimes,
failure is
a perfectly
acceptable
option.

83. strategies

85. If you get 100 right away,
you will never grow.
Don't try for 100 - try for growing.

86. embrace the Amish mistake

87. because no one is perfect

88. Adults must provide
support in
dealing with failure.
{real or perceived}

89. Have a“favorite mistake”
board in the house or
classroom to share
things that went wrong.

90. Practice Predictions
worst,
best,
most likely
outcome
photo credit vjeran2001 @sxc.hu

91. "Eeyore,"
said Owl,
"Christopher
Robin is giving a
party."

92. "Very interesting,"
said Eeyore. "I
suppose they will be
sending me down
the odd bits which
got trodden on.
Kind and thoughtful.
Not at all,don't
mention it."

93. don't be Eeyore

94. because everyone
is NOT really
against you

95. Just jump.

96. Don't stand in
the shallow end
forever.

97. ask: is it my problem, or does it
belong to someone else?
{because there is no sense stealing other people’s problems}

98. What happened?

99. What is the
problem?

100. What are you
doing to solve the
problem?

101. Is it working?

102. What are you
willing to do
differently?

103. Repeat as
necessary.

104. Repeat as
necessary.

105. Would you like to
hear what others
have tried?

106. Would you be
willing to …?

107. I’ll let Voltaire have
the last word on this.

108. The perfect is the enemy of the good.

109. Presentation Created by
Lisa Van Gemert
giftedguru.com
lisav@americanmensa.org or
lisa@lisavangemert.com
pinterest.com/brightkids
@gifted_guru
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