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roadblocks to forgiveness

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Jesus makes it very clear that we need to forgive others in order to be forgiven ourselves by God. Forgiveness is a key to having successful relationships. we will look at nine roadblocks to forgiveness from the book, "From Anger to Intimacy"

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roadblocks to forgiveness

  2. 2. Matthew 6:12-15 And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. 13 And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. 14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
  3. 3. FORGIVENESS A.Jesus make it very clear that we need to forgive in order to be forgiven ourselves, by God.. B.Nine Roadblocks To Forgiveness, taken from the book From Anger to Intimacy. C.Forgiveness is a key to having successful relationships. D.Overcome these nine forgiveness roadblocks and watch your relationships transform for the better.
  4. 4. Roadblock 1: Selfishness A. James 4:1-3 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. B. Philippians 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. C. Serving is the antidote for selfishness. D. Serving others is simply giving something away and expecting nothing in return. E. This transforms you – your attitude, your reactions and, ultimately, the intimacy of your relationship.
  5. 5. Roadblock 2: Pride A. Proverbs 29:23 A man's pride will bring him low, But the humble in spirit will retain honor. B. James 4:6-10 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble." 7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double- minded. 9 Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. C. You increase in humility by recognizing that everything you have and everything you are comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, D. The antidote to pride is dependence on God.
  6. 6. Roadblock 3: Insecurity A. If you have been told for years that you don’t measure up, that you’re a failure or that you’re not good, those messages aren’t just in your mind; they’re in your heart. B. No matter what your insecurity, God wants you to find your security in Him. C. 1 John 3:1 Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. D. Romans 8:31-32 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? E. Be assured of God’s love for you. F. This will set you free and revolutionize your relationships.
  7. 7. Roadblock 4: Resentment A. When seeds of resentment and bitterness are planted in our soul and given time to grow, their roots run deep. B. Matthew 5:43-48 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? 48 Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.
  8. 8. Roadblock 4: Resentment C. Leviticus 19:17-18 'You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him. 18 You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD. D. God gives us careful instruction not to allow the roots of resentment to grow in our life. E. Forgiving – letting go – allows you to pull out the deepest roots of anger and resentment. F. Just as God forgives you, you are to forgive others.
  9. 9. Roadblock 5: Unresolved Anger A. Unresolved anger is a poisonous drink, that destroys the angry person the most. B. Ephesians 4:26-27 "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. C. James 1:19-20 This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. D. Hebrews 12:14-15 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: 15 looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; E. Don’t allow unresolved anger to hold you back from who you are called (and created) to be. F. When you resolve anger and seek forgiveness, not only do you set the other person free, but you also get free.
  10. 10. Roadblock 6: Not Recognizing Your Weaknesses A. You have to deal with your own issues and struggles before you can help anyone else. B. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. C. Ephesians 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. D. In the process of facing your own weakness, you become a little less judgmental and a little more loving toward others.
  11. 11. Roadblock 7: Misunderstanding Forgiveness A. Psalm 32:1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. B. Hebrews 10:16-18 "This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the LORD: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them," 17 then He adds, "Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more." 18 Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer an offering for sin. C. Forgiveness is like pushing a release button. D. You let the other person go. E. This doesn’t always mean forget. However, when you do push the release button of forgiveness, you give up your right to bring up the issue again and make the other person feel bad about what he or she has done.
  12. 12. Roadblock 8: Fear of Condoning The Offense A. Romans 12:17-21 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. 20 Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. B. You can offer forgiveness without condoning an offense. C. Your forgiveness of the offender doesn’t bring God’s forgiveness.
  13. 13. Roadblock 9: The Passage of Time A. The old adage that time heals all wounds is simply not Biblical. B. Ephesians 4:26-27 "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. C. Ecclesiastes 8:11-12 Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. 12 Though a sinner does evil a hundred times, and his days are prolonged, yet I surely know that it will be well with those who fear God, who fear before Him. D. No matter how much time has passed since an offense, you need to take steps to resolve it – the sooner the better. E. Don’t allow time to stand in your way and prolong a relationship wound.
  14. 14. DO YOU HAVE ANY ROADBLOCKS TO FORGIVENESS? A.Selfishness B.Pride C.Insecurity D.Resentment E. Unresolved anger F. Not recognizing your weaknesses G.Misunderstanding forgiveness H.Fear of condoning the offence I. The passage of time