How to create tasty fake sperm in huge amounts (=72 liters). For the Porn Tub Punch performance at monochrom's Arse Elektronika.

1. How to:
The Porn Tub
Punch
72 liters of pure beauty

2. The Mission
• Develop a cocktail which looks
like cum
• Make it taste a little cumlike
• Yet enjoyable
• And easy to prepare
• In huge amounts (72 liters)
• Keep the neighbours out of
the kitchen
f

3. The Theory
Cum is ...
• Greyish
• Salty
• Brine
• Creamy & Sticky
• Liquid and solid
• Usually not in cocktails

4. The Solutions
Cum is ...
• Greyish  Use yoghurt/buttermilk
• Salty  Use salt (wow)
• Brine  Use baking soda
• Creamy & Sticky  Use Starch
• Liquid and solid  More starch!
• Usually not in cocktails  well...

5. Basic Tests
starch + water
+ b. soda heat until boiling

6. Basic Tests
stirred good texture

7. Lessons learned so far
• First warm water
• Then starch
• Then baking soda
• Stir a lot!
• More starch can be added later
• But only by dissolving it
seperatly in warm water and
then adding it while stirring

8. Getting serious M or e b
ak i ng
soda wi
ll
mak e i t
b ub b l e
al
and t as ot
te
not e ve
ry
wel l
anymor
e...
0.5 ll water
0.5 water
8-10 teaspoons potato starch
8-10 teaspoons potato starch
1 ts baking soda
1 ts baking soda
1 ts salt
1 ts salt
2- 4ts yoghurt / 50ml buttermilk
2- 4ts yoghurt / 50ml buttermilk
A little bit of vegetable oil
A little bit of vegetable oil

9. Getting serious
H eat i n
i nt er va
l s,
you can so
check t
he
t hi ck ne
ss
Looks good in the pan
Does horrible things in
the drink

10. Getting serious - Use l o
pr essur of
ts
e
- - Let i
t
r est a
second
- - Let t
Add a little oil & use he
guest w
huge syringe at ch
Cooold drink Eject Marvel

11. What did we achieve?
• Cum-like substance
• Substance gets thicker when cooled
• In a drink it‘s stable at first and then
dissolves slowly for the nice cum-look
• And most of all: it‘s cheap and easy
to make, even in huge amounts
• Important: Stir a lot!

13. Application - Tr y d
if f .
al cohol
s
- A dd l i
t t le
cum-
i cecub e
s,
t hey f e
el
dr y j el l l i k e
y
Cum Shot
Prepare shot or longdrink
Inject warm sperm into it
Serve

14. Application - T ak e
some
st ar ch-
sol ut i on
- H eat
ex t r al o
ng
- A dd p
i eces
of t he
l ay
t o dr i nk er
Cocktail
2 pt warm & thick(!) sperm
1pt Banana-Juice
1pt Pear-Juice
A little Buttermilk or Kefir
1pt Vodka or Rum

15. Application - T ak e
some
st ar ch-
sol ut i on
- H eat
ex t r al o
ng
- A dd p
i eces
of t he
l ay
t o dr i nk er
Without alcohol:
50 ml Yoghurt
50 ml Sperm
Fill with applejuice
1ts honey
Add some lemonjuice

16. Application
Onl y f o
r t
ad vent u he
r ous!
!!
Sperm-Cube
Just freeze some sperm
Will turn into something
thick, spongy and dry
Tastes strange
Feels strange

17. Basic Sperm: Step by Step
• Mix a lot of starch into warm water
• Add baking soda
• Add salt
• Heat slowly until it boils
• Stir
• Stir some more
• Boil in intervals until it‘s as thick as
you want it to be
• Let it cool a little
• Stir, stir, stir excessivly

18. Solid Sperm: Step by Step
• Mix even more starch into warm water
• Add baking soda
• Add salt
• 10 Heat slowly until it boils, stop heat
• Don‘t stir, let it settle
• Check if there‘s a thicker layer
• Mix thick layer with liquid parts
• Goto 10 until bored or satisfied
• Cut with knife, use a lot of force

19. Tipps & Tricks
• Prepare both basic and solid sperm and
mix it in the drink
• You can‘t make solid sperm liquid again
• But you can make liquid sperm thick by
adding strong starch-solution and heat
• Natron produces bubbles under heat –
can look good! Stir to get the yellowish
color of the first cumshot since a long time