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Accepting Personal Responsibility

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Accepting Personal Responsibility

  1. 1. What is the primary goal of this class? To learn strategies for success in college…and beyond! Review the eight choices of successful students PR Personal Responsibility SM Self-Motivation SM Self-Management I Interdependence SA Self-Awareness LL Lifelong Learning EI Emotional Intelligence BS Belief in Self
  2. 2. What are the four components of the CORE Learning System?  Collect—collect information/skills  Organize—organize information so that it makes sense to you  Rehearse—practice to strengthen neural networks and improve skills  Evaluate—assess the quality of your learning
  3. 3. Which person in the case study do you think is most responsible for Kim's failing grade in Psychology 101? Why? What choice(s) did Kim make that sabotaged her success in Psychology 101? What other choice(s) could she have made? Dive Deeper: Is there someone not mentioned in the story who may also bear responsibility for Kim's failing grade?
  4. 4. FOCUS QUESTIONS What is self-responsibility? Why is it the key to gaining maximum control over the outcomes and experiences of your life?
  5. 5. What choice did Brian make that completely changed his outcomes and experiences in his English course? What similar choice could you make in a class you are now taking?
  6. 6. FOCUS QUESTION How can you create greater success by changing your vocabulary?
  7. 7. Victim’s Language ◦ Blame self or others ◦ Complain ◦ Make excuses Victim’s Results ◦ Waste time and energy ◦ Seldom achieve desired outcomes & experiences
  8. 8. Victim Statements ◦ If I weren’t so stupid, I wouldn’t have to take this dumb class again. (Blame self) ◦ I would make the team if the coach was fair. (Blame others) ◦ My teacher won’t accept my paper late. I never get a break from anybody. (Complain) ◦ I didn’t have enough time to do the assignment. (Excuse)
  9. 9.  All of these statements are about blaming, complaining and making excuses.  None is about taking ownership or action!
  10. 10. – If I weren’t so stupid, I wouldn’t have to take this dumb class again. – I know I didn’t spend nearly enough time studying last semester. I’m going to study this subject from 3:30 to 4:30 every day. I’ll also go to the tutoring center for two hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
  11. 11. – I would make the team if the coach was fair. – I’m going to increase my strength, speed and skills so I can earn a position on the team.
  12. 12. Choose words that support your success: Change Victim language into Creator language. By taking ownership and action, Creators escape the negative trap of Victim thinking and move closer to creating their desired outcomes and experiences. They get On Course!
  13. 13. APPLYING THE CONCEPT: IDENTIFYING VICTIM & CREATOR STATEMENTS I got cheated on this grade! I'm going to meet with my teacher to find out exactly what I need to change. I know I’ll do lousy this term because my schedule is so messed up. People on my study team are lazy and worthless. I’m quitting. I didn’t understand the tutor I saw today. I’ll go back tomorrow and see if I can find a different tutor who explains things in a way that makes more sense to me.
  14. 14. In what ways are you similar to Alexsandr when he began college? In what ways are you different? What choices did Alexsandr make that changed his outcomes and experiences? Does Alexsandr’s story suggest different choices you could make to achieve greater success in college?
  15. 15. FOCUS QUESTIONS How can you improve the quality of the decisions you make? How can you take full responsibility for the outcomes and experiences in your life?
  16. 16. 1. What’s my present situation? (Identify the problem or difficulty.) 1. How would I like my situation to be? (Define my desired outcomes and experiences.) 1. What are my possible choices? (Without evaluating, make a list of options.)
  17. 17. 4. What’s the likely outcome of each possible choice? (Missing information? Stop and get more!) 4. Which choice(s) will I commit to doing? (Make a promise to myself.) 4. When and how will I evaluate my plan? (Assess my results.)
  18. 18. 1. What’s my present situation? I don’t have the $900 it will cost to get my car fixed, so I have to take the bus or ask people for rides wherever I go. 2. How would I like my situation to be? I own a safe, reliable car so I can conveniently go where I want when I want.
  19. 19. 3. What are my Possible choices? 1. 2. 3. 4. 4. What’s the likely outcome of each choice? Work extra hours at my job. 1. Earn more money but have less time to study. Make out a tighter budget; stop eating at restaurants. 2. Save money and have more time to study. Ask Chuck to give me a ride to campus. 3. Save bus money and maybe develop a new friendship. Ask for a raise. 4. Might get more money for same amount of time, especially if I do jobs that others don't like to do.
  20. 20. 5. Which choice(s) will I commit to doing? By February 1st, I will develop a budget that will cut $125.00 off my monthly bills (including not eating at restaurants), I will ask my supervisor for a raise, and I will ask Chuck for a ride to campus until I get my car fixed. I will put all extra money into a savings account. 5. When and how will I evaluate my plan? By July 15th, I'll have at least $900 in my savings account and get my car fixed.
  21. 21. If you have ever worked at a full- or part-time job, please stand up. People standing, divide into five groups of approximately even numbers. People sitting, stand and join the five groups, keeping the numbers in each group approximately even. People who have worked, share any observations you have about Victim Language in the workplace.
  22. 22. FOCUS QUESTION How can you raise your self-esteem by changing your self-talk?
  23. 23. “You mainly make yourself needlessly and neurotically miserable by strongly holding absolutist irrational Beliefs, especially by rigidly believing unconditional shoulds, oughts, and musts.” -Albert Ellis, psychologist What do you think Ellis mean by “absolutist irrational Beliefs”? Examples?
  24. 24. I’m dumb. I’m a failure. I’m worthless. I can’t learn math. I’m a lousy parent. No one will like me. I can’t remember stuff. If I ask a question, I’ll look like a jerk.
  25. 25. People are always mean to me. People don’t treat me right; they’re rotten. People don’t agree with my ideas because they’re too stupid to understand them. Life isn’t fair; I never get an even break. Teachers always have their favorites and those students get all the breaks. No one knows what they’re doing. Life stinks.
  26. 26. Activating Event + Beliefs = Consequences
  27. 27. Belief Belief Belief Student #1 Student #2 Student #3 My instructor thinks I’m dumb. I’ll never get a college degree. I’m a failure in life. My instructor won’t help me. Teachers don’t care about students. I’m not sure what went wrong. Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way you plan. There’s always tomorrow.
  28. 28. Student # 1 Student # 2 Student # 3 Got depressed, and watched television all evening. Got angry and spent the night telling friends how horrible the instructor is. Studied for another class. Planned to call the instructor the next day to see what happened and set up a new appointment. Which student’s consequences moved him closer to positive outcomes and experiences?
  29. 29. A+B=C Activating Event + Beliefs = Consequences Consequence Activating Event Belief Studied for another wentup for a I’m not sure what class. Instructor didn’t show wrong. Planned to call the just don’t turn Sometimes things instructor the scheduled conference. next day to see what happened out the way you plan. There’s and set always tomorrow. up a new appointment.
  30. 30. Offer evidence that your judgments are incorrect Offer a positive explanation of the problem. Question the importance of the problem. If judgments are true, offer a plan to improve the situation.
  31. 31. Write a sentence expressing a recent problem or event that upset you. EXAMPLE: I got into a big argument with my roommate, Amber, over keeping our apartment cleaned up. It escalated into a yelling and name-calling match and I finally just stormed out of the room.
  32. 32. Write a list of three or more criticisms your Inner Critic (IC) might level against you as a result of this situation. Have your Inner Guide (IG) dispute each one immediately.
  33. 33. EXAMPLE I’m such a stupid hothead; I’m always flying off the handle and making a mess of things. I'm not stupid at all, and I maintain really good control of myself. People at work tell me they can't believe how patient I am with customers.
  34. 34. In this case, the Inner Guide disputes the self-criticism by showing specific evidence that the judgment is irrational and wrong: "Other people at work say..." Note that you only need to use one method of disputing (not all four).
  35. 35. Write a list of three or more criticisms your Inner Defender (ID) might level against someone else as a result of this situation. Have your Inner Guide (IG) dispute each one immediately.
  36. 36. EXAMPLE If Amber weren't so lazy, I wouldn't have to nag her all the time about cleaning the place up. This problem is all her fault. Amber really isn't lazy; she works two part-time jobs and she's taking 18 hours this semester. I'm going to apologize and suggest we make out a cleaning plan that fits her work hours.
  37. 37. Notice that the Inner Guide moves from judgment to empathy and finally to a plan that will solve the problem (not just create hard feelings).
  38. 38. What thoughts did Dominic change? What old classroom behaviors did Dominic also change? What choices could you make about your thoughts or classroom behaviors that would help you achieve your desired outcomes and experiences?
  39. 39. From the list of six options, choose the one you think would be most helpful to you. Organize into groups of people who all chose the same option. Explain the reason for your choice, any challenges you expect, and how you will overcome them.
  40. 40. Reading an assignment in college requires a greater degree of involvement and effort than reading a magazine or newspaper; you need to become an active reader. What do you think are some of the choices of an active reader?
  41. 41. What are the four components of the CORE Learning System? Collecting Organizing Rehearsing Evaluating
  42. 42. What do you Collect through Reading? Key Concepts Important Ideas Supporting Details
  43. 43. What is the key concept of Chapter Two? Accepting Personal Responsibility What are the important ideas? Adopting the Creator Role Mastering Creator Language Making Wise Decisions
  44. 44. What are the supporting details for “Mastering Creator Language?" Self-Talk Inner Critic Inner Defender Inner Guide The Language of Responsibility Ownership & a Plan
  45. 45. Review the strategies presented for Before Reading, While Reading, and After Reading. Next to each strategy, write how often you use it: "Always," "Usually," "Seldom" or "Never." From the strategies that you marked "Seldom" or "Never,“ choose one that might help you become a more active reader. Be prepared to explain your choice.
  46. 46. Making Wise Decisions Mastering Creator Language Adopting the Creator Role
  47. 47. What do you like most about the notion of accepting self-responsibility? Explain briefly.
  48. 48. End Chapter Two

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