3. I had a problem, a big one
I had a well paid job. My boss is
really nice. I saw a bright career path
in front of me.
I lived out of my own country and far
from my family.
I failed multiple times in
relationships. I felt lonely after I went
home. I wanted to have my own
family.
I am not happy!
4. In fact, everybody had one
I am having tremendous professional
success, but it’s cost me personal and
family life.
I know I’m overweight. I tried all the ways
without success.
My employees are always waiting for me to
give them orders. I am tired of that.
I am too busy. I feel pressured and hassled
all day, every day, seven days a week.
My kid won’t listen to me anymore
There is no love in my marriage. We don’t
feel it anymore.
5. What’s the biggest problem
you are facing?
At work
In family
Relationship
Health
Time
Meaning of life
Death
6. What to do with the problem?
Put it aside, try not to think
about it
Worry about it
Talk about it
Work on it!
7. Deal with the problem
Acknowledge the problem
A problem cannot be solved if we
pretend that it doesn’t exist
A real problem cannot be hidden
A real problem won’t go away
Define the problem
What’s bothering me most? Why?
Write it down
Solve the problem
How?
8. New Level of Thinking
“The significant
problems we face
cannot be solved at
the same level of
thinking we were at
when we created
them”
– Albert Einstein
9. The way we see the problem
is the problem
It’s “out there”. It’s the problem of the
others.
We look at the symptoms and ignore the
root cause
We expect some magic techniques and
quick fixes. The real solution may be a long
process and require significant efforts
Examples:
Employees lack of loyalty
Marriage without love
Always busy, but little accomplished
11. Paradigm - How do we “see”
things?
The “lens” we all wear
We all see things through our own “Paradigms”,
which are our own ways of thinking.
We may not know the paradigm exists, like
contact lens. We think what we see is objective.
But it may not be.
Two people can see the same thing, disagree
and yet both be right.
Our unique experience creates the “lens”
Family
Education
Environment
Culture
12. Power of the Paradigm
Paradigm is our map
Reality, the way things are, where are we now.
Value, the way things should be, where do we
want to be
Paradigm determines
Our attitudes
Our behaviors
Wrong map
Try to find ways in
New York using a
map of Chicago.
Working on
attitudes and
behaviors won’t
help.
13. What to do with our
Paradigms?
Be aware of them
Take responsibilities of them,
examine them, test them against
reality
Listen to others, be open to their
perspectives
Get the large picture
14. Paradigm shift - “See” things
differently
Paradigm shift is powerful
Fundamentally change our attitudes and
behaviors
The only way for us to make
significant and quantum changes
Science
From Earth center to Sun center
From bloodletting to gem theory
Society
From Kings to Democracy
Life
Life threaten crisis
Step into a new role
15. Solve our problems
What are the “maps” we are using?
The way we “see” things
The way we “handle” things
Are the “maps” correct?
Can they explain our current situation?
Can we get to the destination using
them?
Are we lost using the current map?
Change the map
16. Thoughts about my own
problem
My old paradigms
There is only successful career path for me. I
rely on my boss to promote me in the company
ladder. To be successful in career, I have to live
in United States.
My perfect partner will fall into my life from
heaven. We will fall in love immediately and be
happy ever after. I just need to wait.
Love is sweet and all about happiness.
As long as I have a family, every problem will be
resolved.
My attitude and behaviors are solely based
on those paradigms.
Are they correct?
17. What’s the “correct map”?
Principles
Real, unchanging,
unarguable and self-
evident as natural laws
Universally applicable
among different
societies and religions
Examples
Only if you are trustworthy, you can earn
long term trust
Principles determine the results
“Correct map” are Principle-Centered
18. Principles, Practices and
Values
Principles vs. Practices
Guidelines vs. Activities
Universal application vs.
Situation Specific
Always true vs. Work in
some circumstances
Principle empowers
people to create variety of
practices to deal with
different situations
Principles vs. Value
Objective territory vs. Map
19. How to change the “map”?
Inside-out
Start with yourself
Paradigms
Characters
Motives
Private victory precedes public victory
Keep Promise to ourselves before to others
Improve ourselves before improve the
relationships
Work on our characters before work on
personalities
Continuing renewal process
20. Inside-out examples
To have a good marriage
Generate positive energy
Sidestep negative energy
To have a pleasant, cooperative teenager
More understanding
Empathic
Consistent
Loving
To have more freedom, more latitude in
your job
Be more responsible
More helpful
More contributing
To be trusted
Be trustworthy
21. Put the “map” inside us,
permanently
Characters
Relatively permanent
Distinguishing features
Manifest when relates to
others and reacts to various
kinds of challenges
Examples
Courage
Honesty
Loyalty
Characters determine our destiny
Determine our actions and reactions
Determine how people see us and treat us
22. Characters Ethic vs.
Personalities Ethic
Characters Ethic
The foundation of success
come from the Characters
like Integrity, Humility,
Courage…
Personalities Ethic
Human and Public
Relationship techniques
Positive Mental Attitude
Characters vs.
Personalities
Inside-out vs. Outside-in
Permanent vs.
Inconsistent
Natural vs. Artificial
23. The New Paradigm
The new level of thinking
Principle-centered
Character-based
Inside-out
24. Principles of Growth
Growth are sequential
Multiple Stages
The later stage is built
upon the previous one
Each one is important.
None can be skipped
Each one takes time
Example: Learning to run
Turn over, sit up, crawl, walk, run
25. The Paradigm Change
Process
It’s a continuing
renewal process
Learn the principles
Build the characters
Start with ourselves
Emotional Development Level
Listening to others requires Patience,
Openness, Desire to understand
No quick fixes. No shortcut
27. What’s next?
We learned
Our significant problems are the fruits of
our own paradigms, the “lens” we wear
and the “maps” we use
Our problems can only be solved by
paradigm shifts.
A correct paradigm is Principle-
Centered, Character-based, Inside-out
Paradigm shift takes a continuing
renewal process
What’s missing
A actionable process to guide us in
making the paradigm shift