This is my old presentation made for my internal presentation to my trainees, however, I choose to circulate it through Yahoo HR Groups

1. Managing People
Transactional Analysis
C Jalasayanan
1

2. What is T.A.?
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS ...
• PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
• MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
• A LEADERSHIP STYLE
• A TRAINING TOOL
• AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS
WHAT, AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY
THEY DO
• AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
2

3. REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF T.A. IN
MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE
LANGUAGE BUILT-IN HUMOR
APPROPRIATE
NON-THREATENING FOR “NORMAL
SELF-ANALYSIS PEOPLE”
DEMONSTRATED
SUCCESS IN BUS. USEFUL AT WORK &
ORGANIZATIONS AT HOME
3

4. TEXTS ON TA
• DR ERIC BERNE
– Psychotherapy
– „TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IN
PSYCHOTHERAPY‟ EVERGREEN 1961
– „GAMES PEOPLE PLAY‟ PENGUIN 1964
• DR THOMAS HARRIS
– DIRECTOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL T.A.
ASSOCIATION
– „I‟M OK – YOU‟RE OK‟ PAN 1973
• „STAYING OK‟ - PAN
4

5. VERY BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES
(PERSONALITY STATES)
• PARENT
– RESEMBLE PARENTAL FIGURES
– EXTEROPSYCHIC
• ADULT
– DIRECTED TOWARDS OBJECTIVE APPRAISAL OF
REALITY
– NEOPSYCHIC
• CHILD
– ARCHAIC RELICS, FIXATED IN EARLY CHILDHOOD
– ARCHAEOPSYCHIC
5

6. Typical Behaviors
PARENT ADULT CHILD
Advising Fact Finding Laughing
Criticizing Questioning Crying
Ordering Analyzing Sulking
Telling Problem Solving Being Frightened
Fault Finding Helping Playing
Cooperating Enjoying
Moralizing
Planning Dancing
Scolding
Coordinating Curiosity
Nurturing
Scheduling
Caring Obeying
Thinking
Loving Dependent
6

7. BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES
(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
EGO STATES LECTURING, CRITICIZING, MANY
“OUGHTS”, “SHOULD” &”DON’TS”
CRITICAL PARENT
P
(PARENT) NURTURING PARENT CONSOLING, “TAKING CARE” OF
OTHERS, SYMPATHY
A OBJECTIVE, RATIONAL, ORIENTED
(ADULT) ADULT TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING, DE-
EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM
TO ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD EXPECTATIONS, MANUPULATIVE, SUM
C BISSIVE
(CHILD) NATURAL CHILD
PLAYFUL, IMPULSIVE, NATULRALLY
CURIOUS &CREATIVE, FUN
LOVING, REBELLIOUS
7

8. TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON
THE JOB
“CAN’T YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCE?”
CRITICAL “WHAT, IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAIL?”
PARENT “I’M SURPRISED AT YOU… THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS
LOUSY”
NURTURING “I’M ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU”
PARENT “LET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU, MR. SMITH”
“YOU’VE DONE A SWELL JOB”
“WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?”
ADULT “CAN’T WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISE?”
“WHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVE?”
“ANYTHING YOU SAY, SIR!”
ADAPTED “SORRY, I’LL TRY TO IMPROVE.”
CHILD “WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU”
“NOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAY.”
NATURAL “FORGET ABOUT IT, HE’S JUST THE BOSS”
CHILD “LET’S KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY! WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A
FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAY?”
8

9. EGOGRAM
• The EGOGRAM is a relationship diagram,depicting the
amount of energy a normal person uses extremely. Or
actively as one relates to others
CP NP A NC AC
9

10. TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P P P P P
A A A A A A
C C C C C C
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
P P P P P P
A A A A A A
C C C C C C
EXPECTED PRODUCE CONFLICT, STOP VERBAL COMMUNICATION
RESPONSE, NO CONFLICT COMMUNICATION, HURT FEELINGS
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
10

11. EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS
ON THE JOB
(1) ACS: “CAN I GET YOU (1) MANAGER: “WHAT (1) FIRST PTL: “GEE, I
ANYTHING FROM COULD WE DO TO WISH I WERE OUT ON
DOWN STAIRS?” MEET THE DEADLINE THE GOLF COURSE
ON THIS PROJECT?” RIGHT NOW.”
(2) MANAGER: “YOU
SURE KNOW HOW TO (2) EMPLOYEE: “WE (2) SECOND PTL: “LET’S
TAKE CARE OF ME, ” COULD TAKE A TAKE OFF. WHO
COUPLE OF PEOPLE WANTS TO LISTEN TO
OFF THE OTHER THE VP ANYWAY?’
PROJECT FOR A
WHILE AND PUT
THEM ON THIS ONE.”
P P P P P P
(1)
(1)
A A A A A A
(2) (2) (1)
C C C C C C
(2)
NURTURING PARENT NATURAL CHILD TO
ADULT TO ADULT
TO ADAPTED CHILD NATURAL CHILD
TRANSACTION 11

12. EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS
ON THE JOB
(1) MANAGER: “ DID (1) MANAGER: COME (1) SUPERVISOR: “HOW
YOU FINISH THE OVER HERE!” COME GETTING A
BUDGET (DEMANDING TONE LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL
ESTIMATES?” OF VOICE) IS ALWAYS HARD ”
(2) ANALYST: “HOW (2) EMPLOYEE: “WHY (2) IT SPECIALIST: “HOW
CAN I IF THE DON’T YOU COME SHOULD I KNOW, I
WHOLE PROCESS OVER HERE? IT’S ONLY WORK HERE’
DOESN’T MAKE JUST AS FAR!”
SENSE.”
P P P P P P P P
(1) (1)
(1)
(1)
A A A A A A A A
(2) (2) (2) (2)
C C C C
C C C C
ADULT-TO-ADULT PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP
CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
CRITICAL PARENT-TO- CHILD RESPONSE PARENT RESPONSE
CHILD RESPONSE 12

13. EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
(1) EMPLOYEE: “SORRY, I WON’T HAVE THE (1) SALESMAN: “THIS CAR HAS GOT
PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR EVERYTHING YOU’D EVER WANT
TOMORROW’S DEADLINE.” FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR
– BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE
(2) MANAGER: “IT’S O.K. I’VE BEEN THINKING FOR YOU.”
OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE
ANYWAY.” (2) CUSTOMER: “WELL LET’S GIVE IT A
TEST DRIVE..” (HIDDEN MEANING:
“WHO DOES HE THINK I AM?”)
P P P P
(1)
(1)
(1)
A A A (2) A
(2) (1)
(2)
C C C C
(2)
13

14. STROKING
THE TYPES OF STROKES YOU SEEK DEPEND ON YOUR OKAYNESS
POSITIVE NEGATIVE CONDITIONAL
STROKES STROKES STROKES
PRAISE PUT-DOWNS STROKES WITH ULTERIOR
MOTIVES
COMPLEMENTS CRITICISM
RECOGNITION DEGRADING STROKES GIVEN FOR
WHAT YOU DO,
AFFECTION RIDICULE RATHER THAN FOR
WHAT YOU ARE:
REWARDS SCOLDING
SYMPATHY PUNISHMENT (1) PERFORMANCE
ORIENTED STROKES
CONSOLATION DISCOUNTING
(2) ACCOMODATION &
SELF-SATISFACTION CONFORMITY
FROM JOB WELL ORIENTED STROKES
DONE
14

15. BASIC PSYCHOLOGICAL (LIFE) POSITIONS: YOUR
SELF IMAGE
1. I’M OK; YOU’RE OK 3. I’M NOT OK; YOU’RE OK
• THE “WINNER”, HEALTH, • CHILD-TO-ADULT EGO STATE
OPTIMISTIC, USUALLY ADULT- ACTIVATED. FEELINGS OF
TO-ADULT EGO STATE. IDEAL INFERIORITY; HERO WORSHIP;
LIFE POSITION ON & OFF THE LOOKING FOR PARENT
JOB. SUBSTITUTES. SEEKS
DOMINANCE FROM OTHERS.
2. I’M OK; YOU’RE NOT OK
4. I’M NOT OK; YOU’RE NOT OK
• USUALLY CRITICAL PARENT EGO
STATE ACTIVATED. MAY EVOLVE • LACKS TRUST IN SELF & OTHERS.
FROM HURT OR DISCOUNTED FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS
CHILD GIVING HIMSELF STROKES. OFTEN EXTREME DEPRESSION.
FEELS DISTRUST, ANGER,
SUPERIORITY.
5. I’M OK, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU
15

16. CONFLICT AT WORK: I
POOR ME KICK ME
• EMPLOYEE LOOKING FOR “SORRY, I COULDN’T
NURTURING PARENT TO FINISH THAT DAMN JOB
SOOTH HIS/HER I’M NOT OK OF YOURS… TOO MANY
FEELING LOVES TO PLAY
INTERUPTIONS”
VICTIM. SELF-PITY, MARTYR
COMPLEX FREQUENT (ULTERIOR MESSAGE: “PLEASE
SYMPTOMS KICK ME!”)
“WHY IS
EVERYBODY
ALWAYS PICKING
“I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN…”
ON ME?”
(ULTERIOR MESSAGE: “HERE’S
THE KICK YOU ASKED FOR…
GLAD TO COMPLY!”)
LOOKS FOR PUT-DOWN FROM CRITICAL
PARENT WILLING TO PLAY PERSECUTOR.
SUBCONSCIOUSLY REINFORCES HIS/HER
I’M NOT OK CHILD FEELING. NEGATIVE
STROKE BETTER THAN NONE.
PARTNER’S SCRIPT: I’M OK; YOU’RE NOT
OK.
16

17. CONFLICT AT WORK: II
WOODEN LEG YES, BUT…
“WHY DON’T YOU CALL THE SERVICE
MANAGER FOR AN ESTIMATE?”
IF IT WEREN’T FOR MY
BACK TROUBLE, I COULD
WORK A LOT FASTER.
“YES, BUT HE IS AWFULLY
BUSY, YOU KNOW.
USES REAL OR IMAGINED
HANDICAP AS CONSTANT A FREQUENT GAME BETWEEN STAFF AND
EXCUSE. NEGATIVE SELF- LINE PERSONNEL. THE “HOOKER” MAY
IMAGE: I’M NOT OK; SELF-PITY. ACTUALLY ASK THE OTHER PERSON FOR
CONTINUALLY LOOKING FOR HELP WITH A PROBLEM, THEN
CONSOLATION OR PITY FROM SYSTEMATICALLY FIND FAULT WITH
NURTURING PARENT. ONE SUGGESTION AFTER ANOTHER.
17

18. CONFLICT AT WORK: III
AIN’T IT AWFUL HURRIED MANAGER
“THESE YOUNG GUYS
STRAIGHT OUT OF
“…I’VE GOT TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF
COLLEGE, THE WAY AROUND HERE!”
THEY….”
“YEAH, AIN’T IT
AWFUL? WHEN I
WAS THAT AGE….”
GOSSIP TYPE COMPLEMENTARY COMPULSIVE MANAGER WHO TAKES ON
TRANSACTIONS BETWEEN TWO MORE AND MORE RESPONSIBILITY,
CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATES. OFTEN MORE THAN HE CAN HANDLE,
MAY FOSTER TEAM SPIRIT, BU TIN THEN COMPLAINS ABOUT HOW BUSY HE
A NONPRODUCTIVE, NON- IS. MAY STILL BE PLAYING OUT THE
OBJECTIVE DIRECTION. POPULAR ADAPTED CHILD EGO STATE IN
WITH COMMITTEES. RESPONSE TO CRITICAL PARENT WITH
HIGH EXPECTATIONS. SEEKS PARENT
STROKES.
18

19. CONFLICT AT WORK: IV
STUPID NIGYSOB
“NOW, I’VE GOT YOU, YOU S.O.B”
“HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO
STUPID, THROWING THAT CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF PERSECUTOR SETTING
PHONE MESSAGE AWAY!” UP HIS VICTIM. LOVES TO ACTIVATE HIS
CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATE. OFTEN SETS
IMPOSSIBLE TASKS FOR SUBORDINATES, GIVES
INCOMPLETE INSTRUCTIONS, THEN GETS
READY TO GIVE A KICK.
EXAMPLE:
MANAGER: “I HEAR THEY ARE LOOKING FOR
A TECHNICAL WRITER IN HEADQUARTERS”.
MAKES DUMB
MISTAKES, OFTEN GETS SUBORDINATE: “HOW ABOUT YOUR
NEGATIVE STROKES FROM RECOMMENDING ME FOR THAT POSITION?”
CRITICAL PARENT (KICK-
ME), OR INVITING OTHER MANAGER: “YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A
PLAYER TO FALL INTO POOR-ME TECHNICAL WRITER?”
GAME. A SET-UP TO MOVE INTO
OTHER GAMES. OVER-ADAPTED (NIGYSOB PLAYERS CAN REPEAT THIS GAME
CHILD. NEGATING SELF. DAY AFTER DAY IF THEY CAN FIND A KICK-
ME PARTNER).
19

20. CONFLICT AT WORK: V
UPROAR IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU
“IF IT WEREN’T FOR THAT BOSS OF MINE, I
“CAN’T YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A SUPERVISOR BY NOW.”
“LOOK WHO
DO ANYTHING
TRAINED ME
RIGHT?” FOR THIS JOB!”
BOTH PLAYERS TRADE INSULTS “IF IT WEREN’T FOR SOMEONE OR
OR ABUSES, ENGAGE IN ATTACK SOMETHING” IS A FAVORITE COP-
AND COUNTER-ATTACK. OFTEN OUT, BLAME OTHERS OR SUPPOSEDLY
DETERIORATES INTO SHOUTING UNAVOIDABLE CIRCUMSTANCES FOR LACK
MATCH. TWO I’M OK; YOU ARE OF ACHIEVEMENTS, MANIPULATING CHILD
NOT OK POSITIONS CLASHING. EGO STATE ACTIVATED.
YES, BUT.. MAY BE ONE METHOD
OF COUNTER-ATTACK.
20

21. CONFLICT AT WORK: VI
LET’S YOU AND RAPO
“THAT NO-
HIM FIGHT GOOD
SO-&-SO!” “KHALED IS ALEX IN YET?”
“NO, PAUL ALEX NEVER GETS IN THIS EARLY!”
“I WOULD’T WANT YOU
TO TELL ANYBODY
WHO CLUED YOU
USED TO DEVELOP TRANSFORM THE “I”M
IN, BUT DO YOU KNOW
OK, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU” MODE INTO “I’M
WHAT MR. XXX SAID
OK, HE IS NOT OK”
ABOUT YOUR
WORK…?”
SAYING THINGS “IN
CONFIDENCE” IS OFTEN AN
ULTERIOR TRANSACTION.
PLAYER HAS A HIDDEN
AGENDA, ACTIVATES HIS
MANIPULATIVE CHILD EGO
STATE.
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22. CONFLICT AT WORK: VII
That’s His Job Amnesia
“OH, I’M SORRY I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT
“I’M ALWAYS WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO.”
“MY JOB, YOUR
DOING HIS
NOT EVEN
JOB” DOING YOURS”
BOTH PLAYERS TRADE INSULTS SOMEONE CONSTANTLY FORGETING A
OR ABUSES, ENGAGE IN ATTACK REQUEST OR DOING SOMETHING OPPOSITE
AND COUNTER-ATTACK. OFTEN OF WHAT YOU ASK. COULD DETERIORATE
DETERIORATES INTO SHOUTING INTO “I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT OK” IF YOUR
MATCH. TWO I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL.
NOT OK POSITIONS CLASHING.
22

23. CONFLICT AT WORK: VIII
YES SIR …….. DO YOU KNOW WHO
“I THINK WE SHOULD YOUR TALKING TO?
APPROACH THE “I NEVER SAID YOU COULD JUST WALK
PROBLEM THIS WAY INTO MY OFFICE WITHOUT SCHEDULING
….”
AN APPOINTMENT”
“YES, WHAT A
GREAT IDEA. BUT,
ISN’T THAT JUST
WHAT I JUST
SAID?”
COMPLEMENTARY
TRANSACTIONS BETWEEN MANAGER WHO ALL OF A SUDDEN
PARENT AND CHILD EGO STATES. WANTS TO BE FORMAL. MAY BE
POPULAR GAME IN COMMITTEES. PLAYING CRITICAL PARENT
23

24. Transactional Analysis
• The 80/20 rule: 80 percent of your success is in
managing people and 20 percent relates to doing
your job well.
• If this is true, what is the level of “okayness” with
your subordinates, peers, supervisors and most
important clients?
• It is important to take the following self test to
determine where you stand.
24

25. Transactional Analysis
• Answer the following questions:
• Of the people working with you the most, picking a round
number of 10, how would you categorize your level of
“okayness” with them?
• In my current job this is how I see things:
25

26. Transactional Analysis
• How I see them • How they see me
• Boss: I am OK he is OK • Boss: I am not OK, he is
• Peers: I am OK they are OK
OK • Peers: He is OK were OK
• Subordinates: 6 of them, I • Subordinates: 4 of them, I
am OK they are not OK am not OK they are OK
• Note. Not I am not OK
your not OK
26

27. Transactional Analysis
• Back to the 80/20 rule: This rule also says that
your job environment is functional when 80
percent of your relationships at work are based on
the I am OK your OK principle
• If the opposite is the case than your job is
dysfunctional
• Most of us are somewhere in between.
• You can still have a lot of “not OK” situations at
work and still be effective – it just won‟t be fun.
27

28. Transactional Analysis
• Keep in mind that the 80/20 rule can still be in
your favor but you could still have major
problems.
• Why? Because having an I am not OK your not
OK relationship with your driver is irrelevant –
having this relationship with your boss is relevant
• Keep this in mind for your home situation as well
28

29. Transactional Analysis
• To understand why some of your relationships work and
others don‟t you need to assess your own behavior and that
of others.
• Which mode are you in the most, parent, adult, child?
• Which mode are your subordinates and peers in?
• Which mode is your boss in?
29

30. Transactional Analysis: Understanding others through
Simple Classification
• How I see them: • How they see themselves:
• Boss: Critical parent • Boss: Nurturing parent
• Peers: Adults
• Peers: Nurturing
• Subordinates: Mostly
parents
consider themselves adults
• Subordinates: Most except some admit to
natural children, some being natural children
adapted children, few
adults
30

31. Transactional Analysis
• Your people management skills are your key to
success
• For example, I try to keep my adult mode active
for as long as possible during the day
• I seldom achieve this and but I know when I have
ventured away from adult mode
• In most instances you succeed because of you, or
you fail because of you
• In most instances you reap what you sow.
31

32. Transactional Analysis:
• Understanding your relationships with others relates to
gold stamps and gray stamps
• Whether we like it or not we accrue gold stamps for
situations we handle well and gray stamps for situations
we handle badly
• This is what defines our “okayness” with other people
• For some one gray stamp is enough to put you in the
category of “I am OK your not OK”
• For others a ton of gold stamps may not do much at all
32

33. Transactional Analysis: Role Playing
• Boss: I have a few • Translation: You are
comments on your not OK – how would
performance -- I think you
you respond?
say “yes” to often to me, I
think you try to be non • Is the boss being a
confrontational with critical parent?
others in the work place.
• How do you avoid
You know what, I don‟t
think these are good conflict? What mode
qualities of a senior should you adapt?
manager.
33

34. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Boss: you have been • My my …… what is this?
doing a wonderful job • Is this a critical parent or
for me. Really great. someone who really sees
This is why I have potential in you.
decided to transfer you • What should you look
to another department. for, what are the signs?
With more experience
you can become even
more valuable to all of
us
34

35. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Boss: The report you • Interesting – critical
gave me had some strong parent again? What
points but it needs should be your mode
polishing. Let‟s give it to of response?
Ms. X to finish it for you.
• Do you fight this or do
Good job.
you go along wit the
boss
• A serious gray stamp
is waiting to happen
here.
35

36. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Peer: You really have • Is your peer being a
to watch out, Mr. X nurturing parent?
really has it in for you. • How do you avoid
conflict? What role
You should hear what
should you adapt and what
I hear about what he should you do?
says about you. Just
don‟t tell him you
heard it from me.
36

37. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Peer: Honestly, I don‟t • Is your peer being a
think you were being very critical parent?
professional when you • Is he OK and are you OK?
promised the client a • What mode should you be
deliverable for next week. in and how should you
You should have handle this?
consulted me first. I will
speak to the boss about
this because you are
always doing it.
37

38. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Peer: I really want this • What is your peer looking
promotion and I am for, clearly a nurturing
looking to you for help. parent response.
You know him so put in a • How do you avoid conflict
good word, I deserve this, if you really don‟t want to
right? be involved.
• How do you maintain an I
am OK your OK position?
How do you avoid a gray
stamp
38

39. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Subordinate: She • A I am OK she is not OK
really irritates me. It presentation of fact.
is not her work • How do you handle this?
necessarily, it‟s just • How do you avoid conflict
the way she does with both of them?
things. She is all over • How can you correct for
the place, always this?
late, not taking
anything seriously
especially me.
39

40. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Secretary: here is the • Is this an I am OK your
bill for mailing the not OK situation?
material you wanted. • How would you respond
to this?
I assumed this was
personal so I made • Should you respond to this
or just take note
sure the mail room
charged you. You
didn‟t want me to
break a rule did you?
40

41. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Employee: I am really • Boss: You can come to
having problems with Ms. me all the time I guess …
X. I don‟t mean to come Ulterior message: Here
to you with one personnel we go again, is he a bad
problem after the other. middle manager or what?
Boss is becoming critical
parent but you may not
know it. Gray stamp
collecting.
41

42. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Employee: I thank • Boss: Welcome back …
you for bringing me Ulterior message: Here
we go again, the if it
back to headquarters.
weren‟t for you game?
I just want you to What no one wants to
know that I lost much work outside Cairo. Boss
when you transferred is becoming critical parent
me but I will do my but you may not know it.
best Gray stamp collecting.
42

43. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Employee: This job • Boss: An interesting
really is not my life observation… Ulterior
you know. I put my message: Here we go
family first too. I again, the lazy SOB.
spend to much time in Boss is becoming
the office as it is and critical parent but you
so do you. Do we may not know it.
really owe this place Gray stamp collecting.
that much?
43

44. Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Employee: I like your • Boss: An interesting
cost cutting ideas, but observation… Ulterior
it is not our money message: Doesn‟t
now is it. The ideas really much care for
on saving money will the company does he?
cause too much Boss is becoming
disruption and it‟s not critical parent but you
as if were saving our may not know it.
own money. Gray stamp collecting.
44

45. HOW TO STOP THE GAME PLAY
• REALIZE THAT IT TAKES TWO TO PLAY A GAME
• DO NOT GIVE EXPECTED RESPONSE
• RESIST TEMPTATION TO PLAY RESCUER, VICTIM, PERSECTOR
• TURN ON YOUR ADULT EGO STATE IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS
• BUT RELIAZE THAT SOMETIMES IT‟S OK TO PLAY “NURTURING
PARENT” UNTIL OTHER PERSON IS READY TO STAND ON HIS OWN
FEET
• SEPARATE THE PERSON FROM THE ACT; DO NOT CRITICIZE HIS
PERSONALITY
• DON‟T EVER TELL HIM/HER THAT HE/SHE IS PLAYING A GAME
• IF YOU ARE ATTACKED, REALIZE THAT THERE IS NO NEED TO
DEFEND YOURSELF IF YOU ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF HIS/HER
PROBLEM BUT MERELY AN OPPORTUNITY TO FIND RELIEF FROM
PRESSURE
• PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING (BUT LISTEN ALSO TO THE WHEELS
THAT DON‟T SQUEAK)
45

46. BASIC GUIDES WHICH CAN HELP YOU IN WORKING WITH
PEOPLE
• Cooperation cannot be forced
• You communicate more through action than words
• Sentiment and emotion count.
• Everyone likes to feel important
• Everyone wants to know the significance of his job
• Don‟t forget to show appreciation for a job well done.
• Learn to listen to people
• Be sincerely interested in your employees and their
welfare.
46

47. REVIEW OF BUZZ WORDS
(BUT THEY CAN ALSO BE TOOLS FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING)
GAMES: COLLECTING STAMPS:
PARENT •NIGYSOB •GOLD STAMPS
ADULT EGO STATES •AIN’T IT AWFUL •GRAY STAMPS
CHILD •KICK ME
•RAPO
•UPROAR
•STUPID PAYOFF:
•(WHAT OTHERS: •CONSCIOUS
CRITICAL PARENT CAN YOU NAME?) •UNCONSCIOUS
NURTURING PARENT
NATURAL CHILD
ADAPTED CHILD ROLES:
STROKES: •VICTIM
•POSITIVE •RESCUER
•NEGATIVE •PERSECUTOR
•CONDITIONAL
TRANSACTIONS:
•COMPLEMENTARY
•CROSSED PARENT TAPE
•ULTERIOR CHILD TAPE
BASIC LIFE POSITION
47

48. PITFALLS OF T.A.
IN MANAGEMENT
• THE “SOPHOMORE SYNDROME” (BUGGING COLLEAGUES
BY POINTING OUT WHEN THEIR PARENT OR CHILD IS
HOOKED, FOR EXAMPLE)
• ENCHANTMENT WITH THE LANGUAGE OF T.A., RATHER
THAN VIEWING IT AS A TOOL FOR GROWTH &
UNDERSTANDING
• USING T.A. MORE ON OTHERS THAN ON SELF
• DESIRE FOR CHANGING ONESELF MUST COME FROM THE
INDIVIDUAL HIMSELF, NOT THE ORGANIZATION
• T.A. TRAINING MUST HAVE SPECIFIC OBJECTIVES
48

49. Contact me
jalasayanan@gmail.com
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