This document provides guidance on how to raise children to please Allah. It emphasizes showing children unconditional love and acceptance rather than fear or rejection. Parents should focus on teaching their children about the presence of Allah through leading by example and positive reinforcement of good behavior. The document outlines various techniques for teaching children acts of worship like salah and manners through stories, games, and family activities. It also discusses building healthy family relationships through limiting technology use, improving communication, and focusing on personal development.

1. Practical Implementation: How to Race to Jannah

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Happiness: How do you define it?
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Active state
Ever-changing, ups and downs
You create your own happiness
Gratitude
Healthy: How do you define it?
 Physical, emotional, spiritual, relational
 Forward movement, ever-changing

3. Individual
Couple
Family
Society

4. Believers! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and
see that you do not die save in the state of
submission to Allah. (Quran 3:102)

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The role of a Muslim woman
Muslim daee, daughter, wife , mother ,
daughter in law , mother in law
Administrator , finance manager , counselor ,
a teacher, etc.
We get so caught up in these roles that we
lose our purpose
Purpose: Please Allah (swt)

6. Identity: I am me!
 Despite all of the roles that we play, what is the
essence of who we are?
 Journey of self-discovery
 Self-help books
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 Authors: Dr. Brene Brown, Gary Zukav, Dr. Kristin Neff
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Counselor/therapist: www.therapistlocator.net

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O men! Fear your Lord Who created you from
a single being and out of it created its mate;
and out of the two spread many men and
women. Fear Allah in Whose name you plead
for rights, and heed the ties of kinship. Surely,
Allah is ever watchful over you. (Quran 4:1)

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Seek help early. The average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital
problems (half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven years).
Edit yourself. Couples who avoid saying every critical thought when discussing
touchy topics are consistently the happiest.
Soften your "start up. Bring up problems gently and without blame.
Accept influence. A marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept
influence from his wife.
Have high standards. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the
beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.
Learn to repair and exit the argument. Successful repair attempts : changing the
topic to something unrelated; using humor; stroking your partner with a caring
remark ("I understand that this is hard for you"); making it clear you're on common
ground ("This is our problem"); backing down (yield to win); offering signs of
appreciation ("I really appreciate and want to thank you for.…"). If an argument gets
too heated, take a 20-minute break, and agree to approach the topic again when
you are both calm.
Focus on the bright side. Make at least five times as many positive statements to
and about each other and your relationship as negative ones. A good marriage must
have a rich climate of positivity. Make deposits to your emotional bank account.

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The year 622… Two men weary from a long and tiresome journey,
Muhammad (pbuh) and Abu Bakr, finally reach days later the
Muslims from Medina who have come to meet them.
Among those coming to meet them from Medina were boys and
girls dressed in their best clothing, enthusiastically playing the
tambourines in their hands and singing a song of joy, “Talaal Badru
Alaina.”
At just that moment the Prophet went to the side of the children to
show openly that he gave them value and importance and to inform
people of this. He asked the children:
“Do you love me?” The children responded in unison:
“Yes, we love you very much, O Messenger!” Then, giving them glad
tidings, the Prophet said,
“I swear I love you too.”

10. How to do Tarbiyah of our kids {establish
Taqwa of Allah in their Hearts}
1. LOVE not FEAR (fear of Allah through love)
2. Acceptance and not rejection
3. Understanding and not judgment
 Before we focus on teaching them the actions
(praying, fasting, wudhu, etc.) our focus must
be on teaching the PRESENCE of Allah (SWT)
 Be an example that they want to emulate
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11. Positive reinforcement is key
Anas ibn Malik said, "The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu
'alayhi wa sallam, had the best disposition among people.
One day he sent me on an errand and I said, 'By Allah, I will
not go,' but it was in my mind that I would do as the
Messenger of Allah had ordered me. I went until I came
upon children playing in the street. Then the Messenger of
Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, arrived and he caught
me by the back of my neck from behind. As I looked at
him, I found him smiling, and he said, 'Unays (Anas'
nickname), did you go where I asked you to go?' I said, 'O
Messenger of Allah, yes, I am going.'"
 Anas said further, "I served him for nine years, but I do
not know that he ever said to me about anything I did,
why I did that, or about anything I had neglected, why I
had not done that." [Muslim]
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S – Support: This means giving your children physical
and emotional support.
C – Caring: These are things you do every day to show
affection, like making nutritious meals and helping
them get the sleep they need.
A – Acceptance: This means showing them
unconditional love.
L – Love: This includes all the ways you display
physical and emotional attachment as the parent of
your children.
E – Encouragement: Giving your children hope,
courage and confidence.

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21 Teaching Methods of the
Prophet (S) –Muhammad Al
Shareef (4 CD series)
The more we talk, the less
they listen
Teaching through stories
and examples
No yelling or hitting, stay
calm—more effective
Asking questions, even after
a question
Getting the child to reflect,
“What can YOU do?”
Explain why they should
listen “because your house
in Paradise is waiting”

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Salah, Sadaqah, Sawm, etc.
 Love and Fear
 Salah charts, rewards system, apps
 Sadaqah box, goal chart
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Manners
 Example of the Prophet (S), companions
 Be an example yourself
 Books, stories, songs
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Teaching kids different Duas
 Morning/evening ones: repeat them together at the proper
times
 Make it a daily habit
 Apps

15. Teach it with love! Make it a blessing and not a burden
Be an example: show your love for it
Teach the beauty of uniqueness: being the one and only
you more focus should be on the inner self
 Prophet (S): “Glad tidings to the strangers”
 Make it a fashion statement: buy pretty pins, colorful
hijabs, etc.
 Give them new role models: Aishah (R), Khadijah (R), etc.
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Positive attention for good behavior is essential to limiting
bad behavior.
Make a list of the many good behaviors your child exhibits.
Rank from most to least how frequently each of those good
behaviors is seen. Behaviors seen less frequently will require
more attention than the ones seen more frequently.
Use a 5:1 ratio for delivery of your attention: for every bad
behavior that gets your negative attention, find at least five
good behaviors and give your positive attention to them.
Verbal attention in the form of praise or acknowledgment is
beneficial, but for young children particularly, physical
affection is best.
Catch them being good and let them know they got caught

17. Let technology bring your family closer to each other, not make
the family its servant and keep you apart.
 Remind kids that use of technology is a privilege, not a right.
 Set a family media policy—decide who can use which forms
of technology, when and where it’s acceptable, and how you
will monitor usage.
 Establish consequences, both positive and negative, for
appropriate technology usage.
 Establish “technology-free” zones and times in your home
when you all “unplug” and concentrate on communicating
with each other and enjoying each other’s company.
 Help your children achieve balance in their lives by
encouraging them to stay physically active, enjoy reading,
and learn to relax and have fun without electronics.

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Starts with YOU!
Make a list of the things you’d like to improve on and begin
making changes
Action starts with knowledge: learn about how to improve
on those areas- research online, ask others, seek
counseling
Rule of thumb: if something isn’t working, try something
else!
Focus your niyyah, try your best, make du’a and leave the
rest up to Allah (SWT)—HE is in charge. Not You!
Know that you cannot change anyone but yourself, so
work on yourself and the way you relate to others and you
will see the positive change immediately.
Give to get, but don’t forget to give to yourself, too!

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Holy Quran
Parenting.org
Dr. John Gottman (Gottman Institute)
Seekersguidance.org
www.therapistlocator.net
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www.facebook.com/TheMuslimMFT
TheMuslimMFT@gmail.com
www.slideshare.net/ishqilahi
www.slideshare.net/dryunus
May Allah SWT make our homes a place of sakeenah (contentment)
and give us and our families the true contentment of Jannah.
Aameen!