1. Scalable PHP Cal Henderson

2. Oh hai

3. Does PHP scale?

4. Yes!

5. No!

6. Stupid question!

7. Languages don’t scale

8. Architectures scale

11. Universe of marshy force. Field sense shallows the hatchery saying Hello,. World!. Hydro. Power spring sometimes; snowmelt powers snowmelt always.

12. It’s all about the salmon And trees

13. But PHP sucks

14. No namespaces

15. Random function names

16. No quantum superpositions

17. People whining

18. Best of a bad bunch

19. Ok, scaling What makes something scalable?

20. Bigger dataset More traffic Maintainable

21. NOT about performance

22. But PHP is slow!

24. Who cares?

25. PHP is not your bottleneck

26. More traffic Push issues down the stack

27. Horizontal vs Vertical

28. Scale out vs Scale up

29. Scale out (horizontal) ftw

30. PHP sessions == bad /var/notshared

31. Sessions in a DB

33. No sessions at all

34. Sessions in cookies

35. Bigger dataset Not really a PHP issue

36. Pass big data by function foo(&$big){} reference

37. Don’t serialize() big things

38. All arrays are sparse So that’s ok

39. Don’t keep much in memory

40. Maintainable Small logical blocks include()

41. Sucks about namespaces

42. Classes are like namespaces kinda

43. Many includes == bad

44. APC + full paths + nostat == awesome

45. Set root path via .htaccess ENV Or whatever

46. deploy-time rollups also good

47. Consistency is king

48. # Comments # Also useful # (who knew?)

49. The bottom line: PHP is used for big things

50. Beauty is less important Than just working

54. find these slides online iamcal.com/talks