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By Darby Fetzer OTR, MAOM, EQC, EQE
Understanding and
Growing Your EQ
Bio
Darby is certified in Emotional Intelligence in
Education and in Corporate Practice. She tailors
science based emotiona...
! Emotional Intelligence Certification through Six Seconds,
Boston
! Emotional Intelligence Educator Certification through...
The acronym EQ
! Throughout this presentation I’ll be using the acronym
EQ as interchangable with Emotional Intelligence.
...
Typically Experiential: Pen/paper
Today’s Topics
! The history of Emotional Intelligence as a concept.
! EQ operationalized ~ Learning ways to grow Emotiona...
Who coined the term
“Emotional Intelligence” ?
! John Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1990
! Mayer and Salovey define emotional...
John Mayer
! the capacity to accurately perceive emotions
! the capacity to use emotions to facilitate
thinking
! the capacity to und...
! Daniel Goleman expounded upon the work of Mayer
and Salovey with his book, Emotional Intelligence . . .
Why it Can Matte...
Since Daniel Goleman’s book,
! There have been many who have written about various
aspects of the EQ topic.
! In the book, Emotional Wellness, by OSHO,
emotions are said to be in constant motion ~ as
the word e – motion suggests.
...
EQ Operationalized
! Mayer and Salovey, Goleman and others have written
much conceptually about Emotional Intelligence, th...
! Six Seconds gave us a new working definition
of Emotional Intelligence and also developed
8 Competencies by which EQ can...
Six Seconds Definition of EQ
! “Emotional Intelligence is the effective
blending of thinking and feeling to
make optimal d...
! 1) Enhance Emotional Literacy
! 2) Recognize Patterns
! 3) Apply Consequential Thinking
! 4) Navigate Emotions
! 5) Exer...
! Wisdom Lives Within ~ finding your own
answers. Self reflection is the key.
! No Way is The Way ~ people have different
...
! The Process is the Content ~ learning comes
from experiencing and reflecting.
! 1,2, 3 PASTA !
EQ Learning Philosophy
Know Thyself' are the words of Socrates.
“Leadership’s first commandment – Know
Thyself” Harvard Business Review Dec. 2001...
Enhance Emotional Literacy allows us to
name and understand our feelings.
Emotions are a feedback system delivering
inform...
! Emotional Literacy provides critical information
about you (and others), which gives you insight
into the core drivers o...
When you can see the mix of these emotions in
your current feeling, you can better understand
the purpose or value of your...
! Trust or Acceptance = recognize value, openness
! Joy = Achieving goals; expanding possibilities
! Anticipation = planni...
Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions
! Emotions are signals to help us. There are no
good or bad emotions; they all serve a purpose.
! When we feel something. ...
Pen and Paper
! Think of a time in your recent past when you had
a strong emotional response to something. It may
have bee...
43
Reflections
! Emotions are signals to help us. There are no
good or bad emotions; they all serve a purpose.
! When we feel...
Reflections
! Do these emotions stir you into action ?
! Or do you feel stuck as a result of this emotion ?
! If you were ...
Reflections
! “Aha” moments regarding
Enhance Emotional Literacy ?
How can Enhance Emotional Literacy
A) Apply to your per...
! Definition: Consciously acknowledging frequently
recurring reactions and behaviors.
! Sometimes people assess new situat...
! Left unconscious, these patterns can inhibit
optimal performance because they are a
generalized response.
Recognize Patt...
! Recognizing Patterns helps you track and
monitor your reactions – which is an essential
step to managing them.
Recognize...
! Because our brains are wired to form these
neuro-pathways, we each, as individuals,
develop patterns.
! Consider these s...
! When I expect too much, I get hurt.
! If someone is infringing on my special time with a good
friend, I get quiet or eve...
! Please take a minute to become aware of and
write down a pattern that does not serve you.
What are your patterns ?
! Now that you’ve recognized a particular pattern
that does not serve you, now identify a counter to
that approach that wo...
! Consider the benefit of recognizing
patterns in your personal and professional
life.
! “The greatest despair is to not b...
Recognize Patterns
! Questions ?
56
! Evaluating the costs and benefits of your
choices.
Competency #3 

Apply Consequential Thinking
! This competence is critical for making a plan that
accounts for the human dynamics.
Apply Consequential Thinking
Assessing the short and long term costs and
benefits of our choices.
Reviewing emotional history and determining how
to do...
Examples
! Example : Rather than accusing, asking
questions.
Internal Deliberation
! What is it in the short term and in the long term
that you want out of this experience, courageous...
Think about a courageous conversation
you may need to have with someone
! With your notepad :
! What is it about ?
! In wh...
64
Competency #4
Navigating Emotions
! Definition: Assessing, harnessing and
transforming emotions as a strategic resource.
Navigating Emotions
! Importance: People are often told to control their
emotions, to suppress feelings like anger, joy, or
fear, and eliminat...
So rather than ignoring feelings or controlling
them through sheer force of will, this competence
lets you manage emotions...
! The Reason this Organization is called Six
Seconds:
! When we have a strong response to a stimuli
which results in anger...
! Our brain responds with a flood of neuro-
chemicals.
! Instead of being hijacked, we can observe what’s
happening and ov...
! Hunger
! Lack of sleep
! Caffeine
! Junk food
Variables that can lead to our own
emotional hijacking
Exercising Optimism
! Definition: Taking a proactive perspective of hope
and possibility.
! Importance: This learned way of thinking +
feeling...
! Increases the pool of choices and the opportunity
for success.
! This provides a solution-oriented approach, helps
you i...
! Other reasons for exercising Optimism ?
According to the book, How Full Is Your Bucket
by Tom Rath: Increasing a positiv...
! Definition: Gaining energy from personal values
and commitments vs. being driven by external
forces.
! Importance: Peopl...
! Engaging Intrinsic Motivation helps you develop
and use lasting inner drivers. This allows you to
stand up, challenge th...
! Gaining energy from personal values and
commitments vs. being driven by others.
Intrinsic Motivation
! What drives you ? What are the social injustice
issues or other issues you would put muscle
behind ?
! What are your eve...
! Use your notepad and make a list of causes,
passions and values that motivate you.
What Drives You ?
Thoughts ?
84
Increase Empathy
! Definition: Recognizing and appropriately
responding to others’ emotions.
! Importance: Empathy is a nonjudgmental
openn...
Increase Empathy
! In other words, Increase Empathy means
recognizing and appropriately responding to
others emotions
! The next steps include listening, sharing and
responding in a way that shows your concern.
! Empathy is key to understan...
! Definition: Connecting your daily choices with
your overarching sense of purpose.
! Importance: Noble Goals activate all...
! When you are clear about your Noble Goal, you
feel compelled to pay fierce attention to your
daily choices and to ensure...
! Outwardly focused
! Gets me up
! Keeps the energy moving
! Maintains my drive
! Inspires peak performance
! Energizes me...
! Here are some examples:
! “To inspire positive change in myself and others”
! “To co-create a context for humanity”
! “T...
Today we talked about ~
! The history of Emotional Intelligence as a
concept.
! EQ operationalized ~ Learning ways to grow...
! In our Worksites ?
! In our Schools ?
! In our Homes ?
! In our Communities ?
So, why would we want more Emotional
Intel...
Why would we want more Emotional
Intelligence for our World ?
! It starts with you -
! “The smartest thing
! you can do with
! Emotional Intelligence
! Is turn it on yourself”
! -Harva...
98
Resources
! www.6seconds.org
! Instruments that assess Emotional Intelligence include:
SEI Self, SEI 360, LVS Self, LVS 36...
References
! Freedman, J. (2007, 2012). At the Heart of Leadership
How to Get Results with Emotional Intelligence.
Califor...
Questions/Answers
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer
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Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer

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A historical journey into the origin of Emotional Intelligence (EQ) as a concept developed by Mayer & Salovey and later Daniel Goleman. A futuristic trek revealing the application of Emotional Intelligence via 8 EQ Competencies developed by the International EQ Organization, Six Seconds.

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Understanding and Growing Your Emotional Intelligence with Darby Fetzer

  1. 1. By Darby Fetzer OTR, MAOM, EQC, EQE Understanding and Growing Your EQ
  2. 2. Bio Darby is certified in Emotional Intelligence in Education and in Corporate Practice. She tailors science based emotional competencies to specific worksites and situations to create sustainable solutions. Her training is supported by experience in Wellness Coaching, 18 year practice as an Occupation Therapist, 11 years of School Board service and facilitation training. Darby has a Bachelors degree in Occupational Therapy and a Masters in Organizational Management.
  3. 3. ! Emotional Intelligence Certification through Six Seconds, Boston ! Emotional Intelligence Educator Certification through Six Seconds, Boston ! Nexus EQ Conference at Harvard School of Medicine ! EQ Educator’s Training and African Summit in Cape Town, South Africa ! SEI Assessor Training through Six Seconds, Toronto ! Vital Signs Assessor Training, Toronto EQ Trainings & Conferences Attended
  4. 4. The acronym EQ ! Throughout this presentation I’ll be using the acronym EQ as interchangable with Emotional Intelligence. ! Like Intelligence Quotient (IQ), EQ is also measurable. ! I will touch on examples of EQ measurement instruments at the end of today’s presentation. ! Unlike the premise of IQ, EQ can be grown.
  5. 5. Typically Experiential: Pen/paper
  6. 6. Today’s Topics ! The history of Emotional Intelligence as a concept. ! EQ operationalized ~ Learning ways to grow Emotional Intelligence via the 8 EQ Competencies developed by Six Seconds. ! Resources, should you want to share EQ with others.
  7. 7. Who coined the term “Emotional Intelligence” ? ! John Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1990 ! Mayer and Salovey define emotional intelligence as "the ability to monitor one's own and other's feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thinking and action."
  8. 8. John Mayer
  9. 9. ! the capacity to accurately perceive emotions ! the capacity to use emotions to facilitate thinking ! the capacity to understand emotional meanings ! the capacity to manage emotions 
 Mayer and Salovey's Four Branch Model of Emotional Intelligence 

  10. 10. ! Daniel Goleman expounded upon the work of Mayer and Salovey with his book, Emotional Intelligence . . . Why it Can Matter More than IQ. Emotional Intelligence
  11. 11. Since Daniel Goleman’s book, ! There have been many who have written about various aspects of the EQ topic.
  12. 12. ! In the book, Emotional Wellness, by OSHO, emotions are said to be in constant motion ~ as the word e – motion suggests. ! Our charge is then to recognize that we’re ALL emotional beings, with feelings that are always in motion. ! OSHO suggests that we stop judging ourselves and others. Emotional Wellness
  13. 13. EQ Operationalized ! Mayer and Salovey, Goleman and others have written much conceptually about Emotional Intelligence, then organizations came along to operationalize EQ . . . to give it practical application.
  14. 14. ! Six Seconds gave us a new working definition of Emotional Intelligence and also developed 8 Competencies by which EQ can be applied.
  15. 15. Six Seconds Definition of EQ ! “Emotional Intelligence is the effective blending of thinking and feeling to make optimal decisions.”
  16. 16. ! 1) Enhance Emotional Literacy ! 2) Recognize Patterns ! 3) Apply Consequential Thinking ! 4) Navigate Emotions ! 5) Exercise Optimism ! 6) Engage Intrinsic Motivation ! 7) Increase Empathy ! 8) Pursue Noble Goal 8 EQ Competencies
  17. 17. ! Wisdom Lives Within ~ finding your own answers. Self reflection is the key. ! No Way is The Way ~ people have different learning styles and learn in different ways. EQ Learning Philosophy
  18. 18. ! The Process is the Content ~ learning comes from experiencing and reflecting. ! 1,2, 3 PASTA ! EQ Learning Philosophy
  19. 19. Know Thyself' are the words of Socrates. “Leadership’s first commandment – Know Thyself” Harvard Business Review Dec. 2001 “He who know others is wise; He who knows himself is enlightened” Lao Tzu Know Thyself
  20. 20. Enhance Emotional Literacy allows us to name and understand our feelings. Emotions are a feedback system delivering information/data that drives behavior and decisions. Competency #1
 Enhance Emotional Literacy
  21. 21. ! Emotional Literacy provides critical information about you (and others), which gives you insight into the core drivers of behavior. ! Emotional literacy is the capacity to access and interpret that data. Emotional Literacy
  22. 22. When you can see the mix of these emotions in your current feeling, you can better understand the purpose or value of your feeling. What are the Combination of Emotions & Their Meanings ?
  23. 23. ! Trust or Acceptance = recognize value, openness ! Joy = Achieving goals; expanding possibilities ! Anticipation = planning ahead; seeking a new situation ! Anger = road is blocked; change needed ! Disgust = something is unacceptable, reject or move away ! Sadness = not achieving goals, something important is missing; loss of love ! Surprise = reality is different than beliefs, re- evaluate ! Fear = uncertainty, unknown danger, powerlessness Eight Basic Emotions & Meanings
  24. 24. Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions
  25. 25. ! Emotions are signals to help us. There are no good or bad emotions; they all serve a purpose. ! When we feel something. How is the feeling trying to help or protect us ? Reflections
  26. 26. Pen and Paper ! Think of a time in your recent past when you had a strong emotional response to something. It may have been in your professional life or perhaps in your personal life. The emotion may still be strong for you or perhaps you’ll need to conjur up those feelings. ! We’ll take just a moment here for you to recall such a time. ! Now, with that situation in mind, I will show you several slides filled with Mixed Emotion cards. Please take the opportunity to write down all the emotions that you experience in that situation.
  27. 27. 43
  28. 28. Reflections ! Emotions are signals to help us. There are no good or bad emotions; they all serve a purpose. ! When we feel something. How is the feeling trying to help or protect us ?
  29. 29. Reflections ! Do these emotions stir you into action ? ! Or do you feel stuck as a result of this emotion ? ! If you were to let these emotions drive you, where would they take you ? ! What can you learn here ?
  30. 30. Reflections ! “Aha” moments regarding Enhance Emotional Literacy ? How can Enhance Emotional Literacy A) Apply to your personal life ? B) Apply to your professional life ? Thoughts or questions here ?
  31. 31. ! Definition: Consciously acknowledging frequently recurring reactions and behaviors. ! Sometimes people assess new situations and respond carefully and thoughtfully, but frequently they run on autopilot, reacting unconsciously based on habit. Competency #2
 Recognize Patterns
  32. 32. ! Left unconscious, these patterns can inhibit optimal performance because they are a generalized response. Recognize Patterns
  33. 33. ! Recognizing Patterns helps you track and monitor your reactions – which is an essential step to managing them. Recognize Patterns
  34. 34. ! Because our brains are wired to form these neuro-pathways, we each, as individuals, develop patterns. ! Consider these situations, do you relate to any of the following ? ! When I feel frustrated . . . I withdraw ! When I’m lonely, I eat. ! When things aren’t going well . . .I blame others Examples of Patterns
  35. 35. ! When I expect too much, I get hurt. ! If someone is infringing on my special time with a good friend, I get quiet or even surly. ! When I’m away from my home and it’s the middle of the night, my default mode is fear. ! When having company, I put too much energy into having the house look good, which interestingly increases my expectation to enjoy our time together, while also robs me of the energy I have to enjoy company. Leaves me frustrated. ! If someone poses a problem, I have to restrain myself from jumping into “fix it” mode. ! When my kids have asked for favors at the last minute, I could be quick to say, “No” Some of my patterns
  36. 36. ! Please take a minute to become aware of and write down a pattern that does not serve you. What are your patterns ?
  37. 37. ! Now that you’ve recognized a particular pattern that does not serve you, now identify a counter to that approach that would not limit you, but would rather free you . . . Formation of productive pattern
  38. 38. ! Consider the benefit of recognizing patterns in your personal and professional life. ! “The greatest despair is to not become the person you were meant to be.” Kierkegaard Recognize Patterns
  39. 39. Recognize Patterns ! Questions ? 56
  40. 40. ! Evaluating the costs and benefits of your choices. Competency #3 
 Apply Consequential Thinking
  41. 41. ! This competence is critical for making a plan that accounts for the human dynamics. Apply Consequential Thinking
  42. 42. Assessing the short and long term costs and benefits of our choices. Reviewing emotional history and determining how to do things better. Apply Consequential Thinking
  43. 43. Examples ! Example : Rather than accusing, asking questions.
  44. 44. Internal Deliberation ! What is it in the short term and in the long term that you want out of this experience, courageous conversation, etc ? ! How can this be a win:win ?
  45. 45. Think about a courageous conversation you may need to have with someone ! With your notepad : ! What is it about ? ! In what ways will you want to be particularly sensitive in your approach ? ! How can the conversation be experienced as a win:win
  46. 46. 64
  47. 47. Competency #4 Navigating Emotions
  48. 48. ! Definition: Assessing, harnessing and transforming emotions as a strategic resource. Navigating Emotions
  49. 49. ! Importance: People are often told to control their emotions, to suppress feelings like anger, joy, or fear, and eliminate them from the decision- making process. ! Without emotion, people literally cannot make decisions. Navigating Emotions
  50. 50. So rather than ignoring feelings or controlling them through sheer force of will, this competence lets you manage emotions, gain valuable insight from them, and then transform them. Navigating Emotions
  51. 51. ! The Reason this Organization is called Six Seconds: ! When we have a strong response to a stimuli which results in anger, frustration, jealousy, fear . . . it takes Six Seconds for our bodies to be flooded with neuro-chemicals. Navigate Emotions
  52. 52. ! Our brain responds with a flood of neuro- chemicals. ! Instead of being hijacked, we can observe what’s happening and override our tendency to react by engaging our prefrontal cortex = higher level thinking. ! We instead: think of our 6 favorite books/movies, etc. What happens . . . what can we do ?
  53. 53. ! Hunger ! Lack of sleep ! Caffeine ! Junk food Variables that can lead to our own emotional hijacking
  54. 54. Exercising Optimism
  55. 55. ! Definition: Taking a proactive perspective of hope and possibility. ! Importance: This learned way of thinking + feeling gives you ownership of your decisions and outcomes. Competency # 5
 Exercising Optimism
  56. 56. ! Increases the pool of choices and the opportunity for success. ! This provides a solution-oriented approach, helps you innovate, and allows you to engage others’ positive energy. Exercising Optimism
  57. 57. ! Other reasons for exercising Optimism ? According to the book, How Full Is Your Bucket by Tom Rath: Increasing a positive outlook can: buffer us against adverse health effects and depression, enable recovery from pain, trauma, and illness and lengthen life span by 10 years.” Exercising Optimism
  58. 58. ! Definition: Gaining energy from personal values and commitments vs. being driven by external forces. ! Importance: People who require external reinforcement to be motivated are always at the mercy of others’ approval or reward system. Competency #6 Engage Intrinsic Motivation
  59. 59. ! Engaging Intrinsic Motivation helps you develop and use lasting inner drivers. This allows you to stand up, challenge the status quo, take risks, and persevere when the going is tough. Engaging Intrinsic Motivation
  60. 60. ! Gaining energy from personal values and commitments vs. being driven by others. Intrinsic Motivation
  61. 61. ! What drives you ? What are the social injustice issues or other issues you would put muscle behind ? ! What are your everyday passions that motivate you to rise to the daily challenges ? ! What are the values you hold/internal drivers that help you be excellent at what you do ? How are you intrinsically motivated ?
  62. 62. ! Use your notepad and make a list of causes, passions and values that motivate you. What Drives You ?
  63. 63. Thoughts ? 84
  64. 64. Increase Empathy
  65. 65. ! Definition: Recognizing and appropriately responding to others’ emotions. ! Importance: Empathy is a nonjudgmental openness to others’ feelings and experiences that builds connection and awareness. Competency #7 Increase Empathy
  66. 66. Increase Empathy ! In other words, Increase Empathy means recognizing and appropriately responding to others emotions
  67. 67. ! The next steps include listening, sharing and responding in a way that shows your concern. ! Empathy is key to understanding others and forming enduring and trusting relationships. ! In a workshop, again, we would have individual and group exercises to integrate the learning. Increase Empathy
  68. 68. ! Definition: Connecting your daily choices with your overarching sense of purpose. ! Importance: Noble Goals activate all of the other competencies in the SIX Seconds Model. When people examine their personal vision, mission and legacy and use that conviction to set their goals and objectives, emotional intelligence gains relevance and power. Competency #8 Pursue Noble Goal
  69. 69. ! When you are clear about your Noble Goal, you feel compelled to pay fierce attention to your daily choices and to ensure that you are not undermining your life’s purpose. Pursue Noble Goal
  70. 70. ! Outwardly focused ! Gets me up ! Keeps the energy moving ! Maintains my drive ! Inspires peak performance ! Energizes me to do my best Noble Goal
  71. 71. ! Here are some examples: ! “To inspire positive change in myself and others” ! “To co-create a context for humanity” ! “To use my voice so that others may use theirs” ! “To inspire compassionate wisdom” ! Mine: “To expand loving community”
 Noble Goals
  72. 72. Today we talked about ~ ! The history of Emotional Intelligence as a concept. ! EQ operationalized ~ Learning ways to grow Emotional Intelligence via the 8 EQ Competencies developed by Six Seconds.
  73. 73. ! In our Worksites ? ! In our Schools ? ! In our Homes ? ! In our Communities ? So, why would we want more Emotional Intelligence . . .
  74. 74. Why would we want more Emotional Intelligence for our World ?
  75. 75. ! It starts with you - ! “The smartest thing ! you can do with ! Emotional Intelligence ! Is turn it on yourself” ! -Harvard Business Review
  76. 76. 98
  77. 77. Resources ! www.6seconds.org ! Instruments that assess Emotional Intelligence include: SEI Self, SEI 360, LVS Self, LVS 360, TVS and OVS. ! If you send me your email address, I can send you a link to take the complimentary Brain Talent Profile. A good cursory assessment that summarizes your EQ talents. ! My contact information: dfetzer@holtynhpc.com ! I’m available to provide customized experiential EQ events for Leadership &/or Staff including full day, 1/2 day or hour long workshops. I am certified to administer the SEI Self and SEI 360. Currently working to complete Vital Signs Assessment Certification.
  78. 78. References ! Freedman, J. (2007, 2012). At the Heart of Leadership How to Get Results with Emotional Intelligence. California: Six Seconds. ! Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence - Why it Can Matter More Than IQ. NY: Bantam. ! OSHO (2007). Emotional Wellness. Switzerland: OSHO International Foundation. ! Rath, Tom (2004,2009). How Full Is Your Bucket? NY: Gallup Press. ! Six Seconds The Emotional Intelligence Network
  79. 79. Questions/Answers

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