This short presentation closes the sequence on assertiveness techniques created by Marcus Birkenkrahe for the avatar-based IBMAN Course "Supervision Internship" at HWR Berlin. It also elaborates on the "Question of the week" #03, an assignment in this E-Learning course based in the virtual 3D web environment of Second Life, held by Hanno Tietgens of BÜRO X Media Lab in the Summer semester 2013.

1. Question of the week: Assertiveness.
Week #03: Give examples of assertive
or non-assertive behavior.
But first, some extra input on Parallel and Paradoxical
Interventions. And some experimental training, on the job.
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2. Antipathetic or sympathetic responses
My job is terrible! I'm sorry to
I'm mistreated, hear it. Perhaps
misjudged, Pull yourself
together, you need
Underpaid, …!!! another job?
stop whining &
complaining!
A. is very excited &
Upset. He's almost
„not quite himself“.
B. wants to calm him
down and/or get out
of the line of fire.
Person A. Person B.
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3. Parallel responses
My job is terrible! That is horrible!
I'm mistreated, So your job is How can you stand
misjudged, Terrible, they It! You should quit
Underpaid, …!!! mistreat & misjudge right away!!!
& underpay you?
…by parallel talking
in a more neutral,
mirroring way, or in
a more parallel,
exaggerating way,
B. can help A. take a
good look at himself.
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4. The paradoxical response
My job is terrible! I've long wanted
Okay – where do
I'm mistreated, to say something
you buy your suits?
misjudged, about the state of
I think you look
Underpaid, …!!! the restrooms
Great in black!
In this place!
...by talking what from the
outside may appear like
nonsense, but is rather
a calculated paradoxical
intervention, A. Is even more
effectively thrown off balance
and cannot but leave his position.
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5. Now it‘s your turn.
Experiment with assertive behavior this and next week.
First, identify your (typical) pattern.
For example:
• when you'd normally say 'no', say 'yes'.
• when you'd normally be aggressive, be assertive
• when you'd normally be manipulative, be assertive
• In all cases, observe how other people's response changes
when you change your behavior.
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6. Your assignment (1): Experiment.
Do one thing differently in your communications with others
in your workplace and pay attention to the consequences.
Discuss what you've done with a third person and report on
what you've learned.
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7. Your assignment (2): Answer our question.
Give examples of assertive or non-
assertive behavior.
Take a good look around and see what's happening at your
work place. Give a few examples of assertive behavior or of
non-assertive behavior — in the latter case, please suggest
what would have been more assertive.
These examples don't have to come from you personally;
you may also showcase behaviors of others that you
observe. But personal is always best.
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