The Science of Masculine Intelligence

Masculine
Intelligence

Paul Dobransky, M.D. and Men’s Psychology Magazine
(C) 2012, All Rights Reserved

Foreword
MEN’S TECHNOLOGY
This book is an introduction to the
fundamentals of Men’s
Psychology’s major systems and
programs for men.
It’s taken over 15 years of practice, research
and education.

The enclosed Masculine Intelligence Program comes with an Audio Program,
this transcript of it. You are also invited to take advantage of the entirely free
Advanced Masculine Intelligence that comes along with every Men’s Psychology
On Demand Membership.
It is intended to get you started on a complete understanding of the invisible

Enjoy!

world of psychology from a purely masculine perspective addressing aspects of yo

We will be using strategies and tactics from:

ur relations with women, your progress on a mission in life at work,

• MindOS Mastery
• Mature Masculine Power
• KWML Mastery
• The Omega Male Program
• Masculine Intelligence in Personal
Boundaries
• The Depresculinity Program

and the experience, pride and accomplishment of being a man in general.
This is Dr. Paul for http://www.menspsychology.com and Men's
Psychology magazine and welcome to Masculine Intelligence, a special program
that I am putting on for you today.
Thanks for being here. We are going to do a question and answer section in
here, but we're going to focus down on: what do we mean by masculine
intelligence, and why do we provide the science of being a man at
www.menspsychology.com?

1

We are going to be covering all of the general areas of a man's
life and we're going to be applying this idea of masculine
intelligence to those areas. That's what we're going to do.

2

Chapter 1

“The Science of
Being a Man”

You were born with this power, because you are
male, but it will take a lifetime for you to fully
discover its depth and breadth, and just as in any
technology, its uses and misuses.
You will most sharpen, cultivate and master these
instincts in two arenas - that of women and work..
Click for Deeper Study

Section 1 - Click for Deeper Study

The Science of Being a Man
YOUR LIFE
1. Depends on numerous things, but the most
core thing is your level of masculinity and
its expression

What is the science of being a man?

2. It is not the same as being a woman, even
though women can do any job men do, are
just as intelligent, and have just as much
emotion and identity

the science of being a man?

3. There are cultural forces that would have
you believe that being a man is no different
or unique than being a woman

Why do we describe ourselves as helping you with that speciﬁcally:

To a lot of people, the word science implies something scary or
difﬁcult to understand.
Maybe something we didn't do so well at in school.  I mean it in a lighterhearted way than all of that.  Although our science is very robust and can
be very technical if you drill down deep enough into it.

CLICK FOR DEEPER INSTRUCTION

The idea behind the science – I'm reminded of its importance by a recent news
story I saw.  You know how there have been all of these controversial
court rulings and criminal trials and things like this happening?
I saw a show with the very eminent attorney Alan Dershowitz on it.  He is this
big legal theorist, the grandfather of modern law in America.

4

The host of the show was commenting on what he felt was

we here, what are we meant to do, and how does the world

an atrocious court ruling in a criminal case, where the person

work around us?

got off even though everyone thought that they were guilty.
It's thinking about thinking.
He said, "This is a travesty.  How does American law work if
it doesn't find truth and justice?  Isn't that what law is about?"

That is what gave rise to psychology around Freud's time.
We started using this word:  psychology.

Alan Dershowitz said, "Well, no, law is not about truth and
justice.  Law is about sticking to the Constitution and

So Men's Psychology certainly has built into it; the notion of

administering laws and rules appropriately."

philosophy as a valuable way of thinking.

He said, "If you want truth, go to a scientist.  And if

Trying to understand ourselves and the world around us

you want justice, go to a philosopher.  Don't go to a lawyer."

in detail, in terms of what does it all mean?

I thought that was really interesting and different that he

How does this all work?  I want to understand.  That's philosophy.

chose those two words to describe truth and justice; a
scientist and a philosopher, because that is a lot of what we

There was a philosopher:  Bertrand Russell, who once said

provide at Men's Psychology Magazine.

that: "Philosophy is the no-man's land between science and
religion."  I think that is a pretty interesting quote in terms of

There is a lot to what we do that has roots in that “scary”

philosophy or psychology being a kind of territory in

word:  philosophy.  And it turns out philosophy as a field of

between science and religion.

study is really what immediately pre-dates the rise of
psychology as a field.

Now when we talk about religion – I don't really talk about
specific religions.  I respect them, whatever one you come

Philosophy is, very broadly speaking, thinking about the

from, but there is certainly a spiritually sense to our psychology.

meaning of things and who are we as humans and why are
5

We are drawn to want answers and meaning in

Everything that we talk about and teach at Men's

life and in who we are.  What is our identity?

Psychology has to do with this principle: that if there are
laws by which things work and science is a part of that, then

Science offers something very unique.  It offers us the ability

we can rely on it.

to try to come up with what the common principles and
laws are by which things work, and to be able to rely on

This is not all opinion.

them repeating into the future, to things still working the
same way moving into the future.

When I teach men about, for example, dating or
relationships, I'm not just drawing form my personal

In that sense, at times, some of the materials you are going to

experience of having been on dates.  I'm drawing from some

learn in Men's Psychology can seem almost like magic so to

very robust principles and material that comes from my

speak.

profession.

Obviously they aren't.
There is no such thing as magic, but they seem magical for
the reason that they can be predictive.
If you can learn to decode what is going on in your dating,
or your relationships with women, or in your career then
you are going to have this predictive power to kind of know
generally what's more likely to happen in the future.
That's very powerful because you can make some solid
choices that way, so that things go well for your life.  That all
comes down to what science offers.
6


Who is “Dr. Paul?”
A GUY LIKE YOU
1. A guy who had to learn about love from
scratch, like you

I'm coming from a standpoint that is curious.

2. A guy who started with nothing and built a
career from scratch, like you

I'm a curious person and if you're here, you probably have that trait as

3. A guy who took that, and learned to help
himself...
4. ...so that he could help you in the same way

well.
You wonder what makes things tick.  You are a curious
man.  I am coming neither from a place of just opinion and
being opinionated, nor am I coming from a place that is
intellectually elitist, so to speak.  Although, I talk about a lot


of principles that are maybe new and different to guys that
have not had formal training in science, the reason I had to
develop all of this material was to help myself understand it.
In my formal education – The words used in my ﬁeld are
really sophisticated words that I always felt did not offer a
lot of practical value in everyday life, to the point where I
had to translate them for me to even understand them.
I'm very much a visual learner.  Maybe you are too.  I've
never been as good with written materials and reading in
7

order to understand things.  I have to draw pictures for

both nutritious foods.  They are the same in that way, but

myself to understand what's what.  That's the beginnings of

they are different.  They taste different, they look different.

Men's Psychology.  That's what I did for myself to

And that's okay - they ARE different.

understand psychology better, was to draw diagrams of how
things work.

But both are good for you.

I'm not coming from an intellectual, superior place at all in

Men and women are different in this way, specifically in

talking to you.  I'm coming to you as a guy just like you

their instincts.  How they interpret the world, how they

who's curious and wants to learn and understand things

communicate, and especially what makes them feel most

thoroughly and maybe have some predictive power for the

alive or passionate, or even in romance makes them feel

future ; knowing what to do to get things done successfully

sexually attracted and attractive.

and happily.
That is where we are very different:  men and women.
That is the value of science.
The science of being a man would be specifically advocating
The science of being a man would first have to recognize that

for men and speaking men's language to them about

men and women are equal but decidedly different.  The

psychology and how it works in a way that's going to be

place that they are different is in their instincts.

very powerful for you specifically as a man.

In fact, this word masculinity and the word femininity I have

The science of being a man is what we're all about.

found to be simply the unconscious instincts that
are unique to men versus the unconscious instincts
that are unique to women.
Being different from each other does not make us unequal.
It just makes us different; like an apple and an orange are
8

Chapter 2

What is
Masculinity?

It’s not the same as Femininity.
It’s also not “self-esteem,” maturity, style, or
dictated by cultures or society.
It’s instinctual, a set of reﬂexes, and it’s your source
of passion for women and for life itself.
You will power ahead in life because of these
three... Click for Deeper Study


Instincts vs. Character
UNCONSCIOUS VS CONSCIOUS
1. The unconscious mind is the same as the
instincts - irrational, illogical, and yet still
“masculine”

This program, Masculine Intelligence – let's take a look at

2. The conscious mind is where character,
maturity, logic and rationality are working

What do we mean by masculine intelligence?  A lot of the time

3. The emotions are somewhere between the
two

someone one-upping someone else in how smart they are.

that phrase.  What do I mean by that?

when you think of the word intelligence you may think of

What I mean by the word intelligence is that you are awake, and aware, and

curious, and inquisitive, and know what time it is.
You have a sense of understanding the hows, whats and whys of
psychology and how things work; whether it is dating and
relationships, or its career, you are in intelligent in terms of
knowing.
You get it, you understand.
Why "masculine" intelligence?
You may have heard of the word intelligence being used
10

in a lot of sort of "markety"ways out there over the years.
In Masculine Intelligence, we say that that men are unique,
There was a thing called "emotional intelligence".

that men have unique sets of instincts and reflexes,

There was a book and training programs by a psychologist with

ways of seeing the world, very unique ways of

that name.

solving problems quickly, unconsciously even;
doing things without thinking a whole lot about them

What he was doing, basically, was trying to get people

because of being male; this notion of instincts; and

out of the sense of having an IQ and more into learning

what are they, and how does that fit into psychology?

about emotions and how they work, and how to be more
socially savvy.  Really what it amounted to is a

Another way of looking at that is to say that if you went

way of describing character.

back to the very first model of Freud's where he said: "Well,
there's a conscious mind and there's an unconscious mind."

Character has everything to do with our maturity level.  The
notion of emotional intelligence was basically to get people

Really what he was talking about is instincts - behaviors that

thinking more about emotions and social connections to each

simply happen automatically without us having to think.

other and the importance of social connections to bettering
our lives through having a mature character.

We go deep into what the differences are between men and
women in the instincts in the Mature Masculine Power Program -

We go to exhaustive lengths in the men’s training program called

in fact, that program covers male instincts as if they are a giant

MindOS Mastery to teach every detail of growing character

tool kit for you to pull out the right instinct for the right situation in

maturity to men.

life - with women or work - and from there we also look at “male
initiation, or going from “boy thinking” to “man thinking.”

Well, Masculine Intelligence would go even deeper than that.
If you are sleeping, you don't have to wake up and remind
In fact, we even lay it out further in a second ebook for you, called

yourself to breath, or for your heart to beat.  These are

Advanced Masculine Intelligence, which comes free with
subscribing to our Men’s Psychology On Demand Service.
11

autonomic, or automatic.  They are reﬂexes of the body that
are programmed to keep operating even without you being

So as a result, the idea of masculine intelligence recognizes

at the steering wheel.

that we have these two parts to the mind.  We have an
intellect, we have a conscious part of the mind that we do

You don't have to make your own heart beat, or make

steer and do control and through which we do understand

yourself breath.  It happens automatically.

things logically; but there is this other part of the mind too,
that is uniquely masculine and is unconscious, that is run by

If we extend that idea of instincts into other areas of life like:

reﬂexes and instincts.

dating, relationships, career, and general personal growth.
Then we can understand them in a richer and more practical

If we learn to understand those primitive instincts that

way than just thinking about the functions of the body.  We

make us uniquely male and bring it all together, that we'll

can say, "Huh, just because I am male I will have a tendency

be at the steering wheel of all of our behavior.

to automatically react a certain way to certain situations in
life."
For example, in competition with other men I'm going to
have this reaction that I don't even need to think about.  Or
in sexual attraction, in early dating I'm going to react and
behave in certain situations without having to consciously
think about it on purpose.
It's because I'm male.
It's because I have masculinity that I react these
certain ways without having to think.  And it is
decidedly different from how women react to the
very same circumstances.
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When Things Don’t Make Sense
EXPLAINING THE UNEXPLAINABLE
1. When “things don’t make sense” or are
“nonsense” or dramatic, it’s instincts at
work

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you just

2. Men’s and Women’s Instincts are reﬂexes,
not based in logic...

friend and then you kind of slap yourself on the forehead

3. Which is why “attraction is not a choice” because it is an irrational, illogical instinct

didn't need to say that.  But why did I do that thing I just

4. When things go wrong or don’t make
sense, it’s time to learn the deep roots of
how the instincts work

shot your mouth off and said something inappropriate or
discourteous or you offended a girlfriend, or you put off a
and say:  "Oh, what was I thinking?  Why did I say that?  I
did?"
It doesn't make any logical sense.
Well, it makes perfect sense to us at Men's Psychology because


it was instinctive.  You did it out of masculine instinct that you
weren't awake and aware to at the time.  And it may not
have resulted in the best results for your life, or been the
most socially appropriate, but it was perfectly masculine that
you did that thing you did or said that thing you said.
Instead of letting our instincts run our lives, if we could
learn a little more about how they work and why, we could
be more at the steering wheel of them, even though they aren't based in logic.
13

That is a basic principle of evolution.  And so one of the things we
There's a friend of mine that is really, really good at

draw on at Men's Psychology is Evolutionary Psychology.

marketing.  He is not a science expert, but he likes talking to
men, and he likes describing to them that – "Attraction is not

I had said at the outset: "Who am I and what is it that I've

a choice" is one of the things he says; it’s one of his little

created here?"

slogans.
I'm closest to what you would call a "unification theorist".
"Attraction is not a choice."

That means somebody who takes psychology models and
combines them in a way that retains scientifically

What that really means – he's talking about sexual attraction

robust credence.

not love or partnership, not other areas of romance, but just
sexual attraction not being a choice.

I combine models together to make new, more simple,
and easier to understand models of psychology.

What he is saying is: "Sexual attraction is an instinct."

One of the things that I then do is learning about these
various fields of psychology.

Instincts aren't choices, they are automatic.  They're reflexes,
and on top of all that, they are not logical.  They are not

Evolutionary Psychology is one of the newest out there to

based in logic and common sense.

learn about.  It addresses some of the more primitive, animal
behavior aspects to us.  So back to "attraction is not a choice";

The reason why, is that our instincts evolved.  They came out

that's simply saying that sexual attraction is an instinct and

of the process of human evolution and as a result, the

instincts aren't logic based.

environment that we had to live in as primitive people was a
threat on our lives - we had to adapt to it, and change with it -

When women do what they do in dating, we may roll our

get more and more automatic with how we respond to

eyes or complain, but the reason they do what they do is

threats so that we could stay alive as a species.

because they are feminine and they have a set of feminine
instincts that are very different from ours.
It's perfectly normal and natural for them to do.
14

And then we complain about it because we are not feminine.
If they had more masculine intelligence, then they would
We don't speak that language.  We weren't trained to.

accept that being male and being masculine is good, but
using masculinity as a set of tools or little working parts of

Masculine Intelligence is then the same goal that

your instincts; using them in the right ways at the right

psychoanalysis has, which is to get people to look at their

times to solve the right problems is going to be a more

unconscious drives and instincts that are so crazy and

successful way to go.

illogical, and get more behind the steering wheel of them;
which is the same thing as growing up.

One of the ways we can go about this is to describe to you
one of the most useful models that we use.  As curious guys

It's the same thing as ﬁnding maturity:

trying to learn about psychology, life and people, comes
from the evolutionary psychologist and to them when this

Where you get more and more control and understanding of

ﬁrst came out it seems a little too simplistic and got shot

your own impulses and instincts and you steer them toward

down and pooh-poohed by the academic world.  Yet,

building your life constructively; building something better

revisiting this, I found it to be really very helpful and

for yourself rather than just being caught unawares with

practical and useful.

your instincts running the show.
To understand the conscious, logical mind in extreme detail, we
You can see a lot of this "acting out" behavior, this normal

have the MindOS Mastery Program.

masculine instinct out in public, like in the politicians' lives
when they have scandals and things like that.

And to understand the unconscious, irrational (but clearly
instinctual) mind, we have the Mature Masculine Power Program.

They are “acting out.”
It's perfectly normal, natural and masculine for them to do
what they do, but if they do it at the wrong time in socially
inappropriate ways, that's what creates the scandal.
15

Chapter 3

“Three Brains” of
Being a Man

There are three areas of the mind that you need to
be concerned with as a man - whether in
addressing your relations with women, or at work,
these three will keep you sharp in your instincts,
energized in your emotions and self-esteem, and
wise and successful in your intellectual life.


The Reptilian Brain
THE REPTILIAN BRAIN
The “Reptilian Brain” - center of the instincts
and masculinity, the unconscious and
“passion”


It's the Triune Brain Model:  the idea of there being a part –
a division in the mind into three parts that they called the
reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and higher brain is very useful.
One of the ways that we look at, a lot of times, love and
romance is to see it all as one big mish-mash of stuff, and
rarely do we divide it into these three parts.  But if we did,
we could perfectly understand our dating, our relationships, and our careers.
The “Reptilian Brain: The first part, the reptilian brain, really is the same as
Freud's sense of what he called the unconscious.
It's our instincts, drive, reflexes, things that happen with us
on autopilot.  That's the reptilian brain.  And in that area,
men and women are most different.  They're decidedly different.
Masculinity is a set of reflexes and instincts that make you
male.  And femininity is a set of reflexes and instincts that
make women, women.  The reptilian brain addresses all the
things that have to do with what both Freud and Darwin
17

talked about; surviving and reproducing.  They both said in
their own way that those two functions in us are really the
prime, core drivers of all of our behavior.
There is this force in us that is always trying to keep us alive,
get us to survive, or to feel more alive, to feel more vital in
other words; a second force in us that is driven toward sex
and reproducing; toward ﬁnding a woman attractive and
wanting to be attractive to them.  These are in the reptilian
brain.  So this area of the mind, called the reptilian brain, it's
where we have these two forces at work.  We want to
survive and we want to reproduce.  It is responsible for
everything we do that we slap ourselves in the head over or have regrets.
"Why did I do that?  Why did I say that?"  It's all driven by
this reptilian brain area of us.

18


The Mammalian Brain
THE MAMMALIAN BRAIN
Mammalian Emotions - Responsible for
Emotional Attraction with a woman.
Responsible for “charisma” in social circles
and the workplace

The second area is the mammalian brain.  That's really just the center of


Emotions are more of a subjective feeling in us and the mammalian brain

emotions, and emotions are different from instincts.
Instincts cause us to automatically, physically do things; to do physical behaviors.

is the center of them.
Why is it called the mammalian brain to the evolutionary psychologist?
It's because mammals are high enough animals that they have evolved to
develop emotions.
The reason mammals have emotions is because somewhere along the line
in the evolutionary tree animals ﬁgures out that there is power in numbers;
that if they hunt as a herd, that is going to get more food and nutrition
than just hunting alone; and that if they associate with each other
as a herd, it's more protective against predators, for example.
Again, evolutionarily, it's all "we have to survive as a species."
19

Mammals came along and they grew organically as they

Yet, language and words are not needed to have friendship

evolved – these species figured it out that the way to cause

or love.  It's simply an exchange of emotion.  You can tell

association and connection working as a team or as a unit by

when your dog is sad or depressed.  In fact, today they even

separate creatures is through emotional bonding; which

prescribe Prozac to dogs and cats that are depressed.  So

today we could simply call "friendship", and which is the

clearly, dogs and cats have emotions.  They're mammals.

same thing as love.

That's the mammalian brain.

You can love a woman romantically, and that implies that you
don't just love her, you also have desire for her.  But you can
also love a friend and not have the desire part.  You could love a
family member.  In fact, you can even truly love and have
friendship with your pets.
Your dog or your cat that is your pet is a mammal just like
you, and mammals have emotions.  And simply because of
emotions, that's how we can define friendship or love.
It's simply an exchange of emotion.
That's how mammals figured out how to work as a group or
as a team, even though they have separate bodies.  It's their
emotional bond.  And with your pets, the thing that causes
us to not think of pets as actual friends is because there is no
language, obviously.

20


The Higher Brain
THE HIGHER (HUMAN) BRAIN
Higher-Brained Maturity - Character and
Intellect - responsible for all partnerships and
commitments, as well as overall success with
women and work.

The last part of the brain evolutionary psychologists call the higher brain.
The higher brain is what makes us more sophisticated than other animals.
It houses our intellectual ability and especially is houses our ability to


think abstractly and to have an imagination; and therefore to predict the future; to
take a guess at what is likely to happen in the future.  This is something that lower
animals don't have to the degree that we do, which is why evolutionists call
it the higher brain.
This is the area you would call the conscious mind, and the area
in which we are self-aware and where we have logic ability.  You would
also say that it is the center of maturity.
We can't really call animals mature or immature, but we can call other human
beings mature or immature.
That's because of the higher brain.

21

These three areas of the mind: the reptilian brain, the
mammalian brain and the higher brain, make up three
general areas of our mind and how it functions.
We cover all you could want to know about these three brains in
the area of dating, relationships and romance in the Omega Male
Program at www.menspsychology.com.

22

Chapter 4

Two Areas of Life
to Master as a
Man
There are three areas of life that you need to be
concerned with as a man - addressing your
relations with women, your progress at work, and
therefore being a man in general.


Relations With Women
THREE KINDS OF CONNECTION TO
WOMEN
1. The “Reptilian Brain” - center of Sexual
Attraction, masculinity, femininity and
“passion”

If you go to www.menspsychology.com, what you will end up seeing

2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of
Emotional Attraction, friendship, love, and
“value”

feature articles.  You will see three areas of life, three important

3. The “Higher Brain” - center of Intellectual
Attraction, wisdom, decisions, logic,
boundaries, rights, self-awareness, and
partnership in commitment

Those are women, work and being a man.

is that now that we have embarked on being journalistic with
what we do, we have a button there called "features" and that's
areas of life that tend to give us the most challenges.

But over under "programs" if you see these same categories:
·  Skills with women


·  Skills in career, and...
·  Skills at being a man...
...and then ﬁnally one to wrap them all together:
• skills at growth and evolution.

24

These are the major areas of challenge in a man's life, and the
major areas of growth: women, career and being a man.
What we do with our programs then is we address those
major areas of life for men using a different course or
program that comes from each of these three areas of the
mind: the reptilian brain, the mammalian brain and the higher
brain.
Our prime course that addresses these three “types of attraction”
with a woman is called the Omega Male Program on Video
Streaming, CD/DVD or live seminars in some of the world’s major
cities.

25


How Your Brain Affects Work
THE WORK BRAIN
1. Mature Masculine Power - the instincts of
work

MATURE MASCULINE POWER:

2. KWML - teambuilding and personality
styles at work

So our course that addresses, “What is masculinity?” - what

3. MindOS Mastery - politics and diplomacy at
work
4. The Men’s Psychology On Demand
Program - getting guidance and mentoring
about work (and women as well as
personal growth too!)

are the instincts, what is there to be learned about them,
what are all the variations of them, when and how do I use
them in life?  That's in the Mature Masculine Power Program.
When we're thinking about the mammalian brain, the emotions what is friendship, what is love, what are emotions and
how do they work, and what are they useful for?  That has
everything to do with personality style.  What makes us
different from each other, not just different from women,
has a lot to do with our personality style.

26

KWML MASTERY:

You have something called boundaries, you have decision
making, you have ethics or conscience, and intuition or

The program we have that addresses that is called KWML

shrewdness that guide your decisions.  You have two kinds

Mastery.  KWML Mastery means that there are four kinds of

of learning that you do, that you could call left-brained and right-

personality.

brained, or education versus experience.  There are two
kinds of self-esteem in you:  well-being and conﬁdence.

There are Kings (or Queens if we're talking about a woman),
Warriors, Magicians and Lovers.  These are the four general

MINDOS MASTERY:

personality styles that we talk about.  Each one of them
expresses itself differently and emotionally.

All of these are addressed in the MindOS Mastery Program.

If you wanted to learn about love, friendship, compatibility

Why do I call it MindOS?  It's because, just like the

in terms of personality style, and therefore communication,

evolutionary psychologists, I view the brain as being

likes and dislikes, likely future behaviors, things that people

something physical.  It's an organ of thinking and behavior,

prefer; then it would serve you well to learn a lot about

but it's like computer hardware.

personality styles.
The mind is different from the brain, and yet related to it in
That's why the KWML Mastery Course talks about

the same way that software can run on computer hardware.

personality style.  That's the mammalian brain.

Your brain is like hardware and your mind is like software.
When we talk about software in the computer world,

The higher brain is everything intellectual and your

sometimes we use this phrase: operating system.  That

conscious mind and how it works.  It has a lot of working

means the software that houses, contains and channels all

parts too.

the workings of any other kind of software.  That's an
operating system.
MindOS means: the operating system of the human mind.
27

is the ability to understand life as a man instinctually as
That's what you learn about in MindOS Mastery.  It's your

different from how women understand life, and how they

conscious mind.  It's everything to do with boundaries,

behave.  In so doing, we can understand women better,

decisions, self-esteem and your ideas and your intellect; how

understand how we are different.

all of that works together to compose what we could call
your character, or your maturity.

We use this same method of doing teleseminars every week,
by the way.  Those are available to you if you are member of

Character is a different thing from personality.  Character is

Men's Psychology "On Demand", which you can find on the

maturity.  Personality is just a style of expressing your

site under men's resources – the On Demand membership.

identity.  Your level of maturity is different from your
general style of personality.

We field questions live, or if you can't attend the calls, you
can shoot those questions in anyway and we will answer

MindOS addresses character and maturity; the conscious

them on audio.  The whole thing gets recorded as a download for

mind, the higher brain that the evolutionary psychologists

you.

talk about.
KWML is all about your emotional life, the emotional part of
your mind, or the mammalian brain.
Then finally, your core primitive instincts called masculinity
is addressed by Mature Masculine Power.
What we could do is go through these general areas of life,
as a man:  women, career, and being a man in general,
general personal growth, and address each of those three
concerns that men have with some masculine intelligence; which
28

Chapter 5

Why Men
Compete

There is no avoiding conﬂict and competition in the
life of a man.
Make it better for yourself by getting real skills, and
learning why men compete the way they do.
You too, can become a “ﬁerce competitor”...


May the Best Man Win
DON’T TAKE IT THAT WAY
1. Men compete to know what their ranks are
2. Men compete to know what their roles are
3. Men compete to learn whether they can
trust their lives with you on the same team

QUESTION:

Yeah, Dr. Paul.  Why do men compete with each other?

Dr. Paul: Well, we can look at that on each of these three levels: the
reptilian brain level, the mammalian brain level (for
personality differences), and then the higher brain level
(maturity differences).  Leaving those later two alone for


now, let's go with just primitive instincts that we call masculinity.
Why do we compete with each other, how do we compete
with each other and how is that different from the way
women compete with themselves and each other?
It's always useful to do a little mental experiment; going
back in time by eons, many hundreds of thousands of years
and ask yourself:  "What were humans doing to try to
survive?  What were men doing differently from women?"
It had a lot to do with their societal roles – came out of body
size and muscularity.  Today we have computers and we
have all the technology that made the sexes exactly equal in
30

what they are able to do in career, but in ancient times our

It was crucial to figure out a sense of rank and skill level and

bodies actually matters, as far as roles in society.

a hierarchy among them.  Why?  Because if they didn't, just
like in today's military, you have various ranks because you

Men would take roles in mainly killing.  We would kill

instantly know who needs to be leading whom and doing

animals for food, we'd hunt, and we'd wage war and get

what, to be a most efficient team when it's life or death stakes.

defense against other tribes that would try to take our food
or our women.  We had to kill.  We naturally took to those

We're either going to starve or we're not, if we have a good hunt.

roles because of larger body size and muscularity.
That's how we compete.  We compete by trying to one-up
Women would take roles in organizing, protecting, and

each other in rank.  We need to do that, it's built into our

conserving the grain through the winter, for example.  They

instincts because if we don't, at some point in times' past, we

would know how much there is and how long it will last;

could die for not doing that.

child rearing and child care while the men were out killing.
Now when women compete, it's more about a sense of:  do I
It's not a "sexist" thing, it's common sense and it's biology

belong or not, or do we shun this one particular woman or

that because of our body differences and muscularity

not?  It's not as much about: what is my rank? Am I number

differences we just evolved into these two roles.  Masculine

one, two or three?  We men are very rank-based and that's

instinct would go along with that.  The role doesn't make the

why we have to compete.

instinct.  The instinct leads to the role.  We can get more into
that some other time.

Now, if you want to get into, some other time perhaps on a
teleseminar, the idea of: what is fighting dirty versus

As far as competition, what would happen is:  if you could

competing like a gentleman?

imagine a group of men out on a hunt and they didn't know
anything about each other when they were forming this

What is gentlemanly competition versus brutal, no holds

hunting team, what was crucial to figure out?

barred competition?  That has to do with ones' maturity level
too.  Ideally, if we compete like gentlemen we both get to
31

grow, even though one person will be called the victor, one
person will be called the winner and the other guy won't.
We both learn from it.

32


Men Who Play Dirty
DOUCHEBAGS AND TOOLS
1. Watch out for these guys
2. Learn how “playing dirty” is a brief
advantage
3. Learn how competing “like a gentleman” is
never forgotten

QUESTION:

The interesting thing about that suggestion is, let's say you

were a gentleman and you tried to compete as a gentleman,
but you're competing against somebody that is playing
dirty.  Would you say that you are at a disadvantage?
Dr. Paul: You would say the rules are different than if you were
competing with another gentleman.  You would never be at


a disadvantage if you have this thing we're generally talking
about called:  masculine intelligence.  It simply means you
“know what time it is.”  You know what is going on
psychologically; you can read the scenario for these three areas of the mind.
If you are a good guy who wants to compete like a
gentleman but you're dealing with someone who ﬁghts dirty,
then what you automatically know through checking out the
boundaries in the situation is that you have good solid
mature boundaries and that other guy doesn't.  He is less
mature than you, which means that he's not going to play by
the rules, which means you are going to have to contain him
or remove yourself from the picture - eject from the competition 33

because he is just going to cause a whole lot of
damage, including potentially to himself.
The approach at it doesn't mean it's a no-win situation for
you, it just means you're going to have to take a role almost
as a parent.  Like if you had a son and you were wrestling
with your son and he was getting a little extreme and he
picked up a knife or a hammer or something, you'd say:
"Okay, whoa whoa whoa, no no, you're not going to do that.
You put that down."
You would get the danger out of his hands.  You would have
to take that some kind of containment role over this guy who
ﬁghts dirty.
In other words, don't ﬁght him unless you can completely
“shock and awe” him; overwhelm him, because he won't
play fair.  You have to have total dominance over him in the
way that a parent can completely control a child.
Or get out of there, eject.

34

Chapter 6

Why Learn Men’s
Psychology?

Men’s minds work differently from a woman’s. We
are equal yet different, and have an entirely different
set of instincts - and this is the major difference
between men and women - the reﬂexes and
instincts that we call Masculinity are very different
from those of Femininity.
differences...


Men’s Psychology is Different
THREE DIFFERENCES
1. The “Reptilian Brain” - this is where
Masculinity and Femininity reside, and what
makes us most different

WHY LEARN “MEN’S PSYCHOLOGY?”

2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of the
emotions, where men and women are of
four types - King or Queen, Warrior,
Magician or Lover

understand how the programs work and why we've designed it this way for you.

3. The “Higher Brain” - center of the intellect,
where men and women are quite equal in
maturity, intelligence and personal growth

Let's take a quick look at these general areas. I want you to

Really what we're doing at menspsychology.com is that we
are a combination of resources for men that are educational with journalism from a man point of view - something that
you really don't see in any one place out there.
Even the major men's magazines and major men's websites
are so large that they are at least partially, if not threequarters staffed with women who have feminine instincts
and see the world a certain way, and communicate with certain feminine instincts.
It, let's say, contaminates the advocacy of men in “only a man's voice.”
What we're trying to do is preserve that both in our journalism as well
as in what we teach, not in a way where it is men versus women,
but in a way where it just simply honors that men think this certain way...
36

THE OMEGA MALE PROGRAM: That's the
...and they need certain things to feel good as men, in man

Omega Male Program and what it does, is it takes these three

language.  That's what we're going overall.  That's the big picture.

areas of the mind:  reptilian brain, mammalian brain and higher
brain and it envisions a courtship process between a man and a

Tunneling down to these three items:

woman as marching through those same three areas of the mind.

· Features - which are feature articles on women or career or

Reptilian brain means “sexual attraction.”

being a man in general, and...
It's the first thing that's got to happen with a woman.  If you
· Programs - our educational courses, once again, skills with

don't get sexual attraction with a woman right away, there

women, skills in career and skills in being a man.  And

are going to problems progressing any further at all.  You are

then finally wrap them all together with...

not going to make a girlfriend out of her; you're not going to
marry her.  There's got to be sexual attraction first.

· Skills in growth and evolution as a man.
How many guys screw THAT up? They think a woman they
What we do here is we combine these three general

have befriended might “come around” or “see the light,” or

concerns: women, work and being a man ...

somehow realize “what a great guy” he is.

...with the three areas of the mind that there are to learn

Wrong. It’s too late. You are friends, and a man who is

about:  the reptilian, the mammalian brain and the higher brain.

friends with a woman, in which there is no sexual attraction I’m sorry, it is just not going to happen, EVER.

If you were to click on "skills with women" under
“programs,” you would see several different courses, the

You must START with SEXUAL ATTRACTION for it to

first of which is “The Omega Male Program:

EVER be present later.

Total Mastery of Sexual Attraction and Dating.”

37

THE KWML MASTERY PROGRAM:
Second, there's got to be the mammalian brained idea of
friendship, love and emotional compatibility.  That's the
KWML Mastery Course - how that tunnels down into that
speciﬁc area.  In the Omega Male Program it combines really
all of the programs to address women and romance.
Sexual attraction, followed by friendship or love, which is the
same as emotional attraction, and then the third phase of
human courtship is partnership and commitment.  Usually the
area that men are least interested in learning about, but it's
still there.
If you are married or want to someday be married, you've
got to learn about that area:  commitment or partnership
(intellectual attraction.)  That's what I mean by "total
mastery of sexual attraction and dating".
That's the Omega Male Program.

38

Chapter 7

Sex, and “Being a
Man” Around
Women
What women say they want in a man on the surface
is a very different thing from what they desire and
respond to sexually, in dating and relationships.
This is because the reptilian brain of both men and
women is instinctual and unconscious - it is a set of
reﬂexes that are triggered...


Sex and Being a Man
THREE POWERS
1. The “Reptilian Brain” - center of the
instincts and masculinity, the unconscious
and “passion”

SEX AND BEING A MAN AROUND WOMEN:

Underneath that you see Sex and "Being a Man" Around Women.

2. The “Mammalian Brain” - center of the
emotions, happiness, friendship, love,
teamwork, and “value”

What that's doing is tunneling down deep into just the ﬁrst

3. The “Higher Brain” - center of the intellect,
wisdom, decisions, logic, boundaries,
rights, self-awareness, and partnership in
commitment

That has everything to do with how masculine are you and how feminine she is.


phase of human courtship, which is just sexual attraction.

Ultimately, if you want to have a sexual attraction and
connection with a woman, the higher your masculinity in
general, the more attractive you will be to her.
The higher her femininity in general, the more attractive
she'll be to you. That's even regardless of her precise looks.
Have you ever been just sexually really desiring a woman
that maybe some of your buddies said was not that
attractive to them, but she was to you?

40

It's because it's not just about looks, although that's the

Now isn't that a different thing from just getting sexual

biggest drive of men being attracted to women.  It's also

attraction going in the ﬁrst place?  The notion of a girlfriend

about their femininity, how they conduct themselves, how

means you are going to date exclusively.  You're not going to

they treat you, how they behave, how they move.  That all

see other people at the same time in most cases; for that to

really gets your blood boiling for them sexually.

work out for you you've got to have more than just sexual
attraction going on.  You've got to a match of personality

Sex and "Being a Man" Around Women is then addressing the

styles or you are not going to get along well.

primitive ways of conducting yourself with women that
with a public spotlight on it might seem undiplomatic, or

You're not going to be able to keep a commitment going

politically incorrect and this sort of thing; but we all know is

because you just don't make good partners, even in a boyfriend-

nonetheless attractive to women.

girlfriend relationship.  The KWML Mastery Program addresses
that by describing people as having four different kinds of

What women complain about publicly about men is very

personality style.

different from how they might respond to you in private.
They might complain to their mom about what a jerk you
are, but then secretly, privately they want you desperately.
They want to come over to your place and feel sexual toward
you.  That has everything to do with your level of masculinity.
The program that we address that with beyond the Omega
Male Program to tunnel down deep is the Mature Masculine
Power Program.  It's learning about all these little circuits
that compose the thing that we call your masculinity.
Underneath that is “How to Choose and Keep a Girlfriend.”

41


Get a Personality
THE FOUR TYPES
1. Kings and Queens - logical, organized, and
nurturing

PERSONALITY

2. Warriors - logical, organized, and outgoing,
action-oriented

• A King or a Queen is a nurturing, kind, yet wise and

3. Magician - creative, spontaneous, outgoing
and action-oriented, performers
4. Lovers - creative, spontaneous, shy,
passive, nurturers

thoughtful analytical person.
• A Warrior is an analytical, targeted, exact logic-based person who is harddriving and outgoing.  They are action- taking.
• A Magician is more on the creative side of thinking, less


analytical, more humorous, fun, adventurous, big thinker,
but also action oriented.  It's a world traveler, an adventurer,
the life of the party, the master of ceremonies - that's a magician.
• A Lover is a more kind, nurturing, soft, but also artistic, creative person.
It turns out that in these four personality styles, which have
nothing to do with gender, have nothing to do with being a man or a woman  they are just personality styles.

42

If you ﬁnd someone who is your opposite in personality
style, you make a perfect team for dealing with things that

If they're your partner or they're your friend, you don't feel

happen in life.

threatened by that because they're your friend, or they're
your partner.  They are good at things you're not.  You're

If you are, say, a King male then you need a Magician female

good at things they're not.

to round yourself out.  The great thing about it is as romantic
partners, girlfriend-boyfriend, you make such a robust team

So opposites attract in friendship and what we would call, Love.

together because anything that comes at you life someone is
gifted at handling.  If it's not you, then it's her.  If it's not her,

Love is a different thing from desire, from sexual desire.

then it's you.
They are entirely different.
Even better than that, since you originally asked about
competition, when we pair up with someone, male or female –

Just that distinction right there can be completely

It it's just a male buddy and you're calling it a friendship,

enlightening to a guy who's trying to navigate the dating

or if it is a woman and you're calling it a romance, if the

world, to understand that if a woman desires you sexually,

person is your opposite there's minimal threat of competing

she might not at all love you in terms of your personality

with each other because you are good at “your thing.”

matching.

The gifts of your personality style in terms of talents and

Or she may love you and mean it when she says:  "I consider

abilities that are “natural-born.”

you a friend."  That might mean she "loves" you, but she just
doesn't sexually desire you.  She is not lying.  She's telling

As a King, you're good at being studious and being an

the truth.

expert and giving advice, and your opposite, the Magician,
has their thing.  They are good at public performance.  They

It's because there are these three areas of the mind, not just

are good at cracking a joke.  They're good at singing in

one.  You would immediately know then that you've got to

public.  They are good at going out and solving problems on

ramp up your sexual attraction skills as opposed to your

the ﬂy.  That's not your thing.

emotional skill.
43

...you master every possible area of dealing with women,
Choosing a girlfriend has everything to do with KWML

whether it's relating to a girlfriend or having a better dating

Mastery, personality styles.

life or communicating with women in the workplace, these
four programs help you completely understand and master

Lastly, there's How to Manage a Committed Relationship.

everything you ever wanted in the world of women.

That's beyond boyfriend-girlfriend.
That is long-term partnership.
You guys better have a match of maturity level and good
boundaries or it will not work out. Someone will cheat on
someone or you just ﬁnd you can't partner up and solve
problems well together.
It just doesn't work.
That is MindOS Mastery that you address that with.
Using these four courses:
· Mature Masculine Power to learn about masculine instinct
· KWML to learn about personality styles
· MindOS to learn about maturity and boundaries, and...
· The Omega Male Program which wraps it all together...

44

Chapter 8

Career Excellence

Men vest a great deal of personal identity in their
career progress, and this is not a voluntary choice.
It’s instinctual.
As a result, your career progress gives you passion
for life, a feeling of more masculinity, identity and
attractiveness to women for this very reason. You
will excel in career ﬁrst, to excel with women...


Career Makes the Man
GET A MISSION, NOT A JOB
1. Your “mission in life” is more than a job or
even a career...

CAREER ISSUES:

2. It is a source of identity and masculinity...

The next area is career. Now, why do we have these three

3. ...which powers your very passion for life
itself, and attracts women, friends, and
opportunity


areas: women, work and being a man, especially “women and work?”
Why are they so important?
There is a thing we talk about in the Mature Masculine Power Program
called the “Equation of Masculinity.”
If there were a way that I wanted to try to subjectively quantify "what
is masculinity?" in a way that you could sort of sense or measure or analyze.
What I came up with is, “If masculinity is a set of reﬂexes or instincts and
if instincts according to both Freud and Darwin are for the purpose of
causing us to being able to survive and to reproduce, then it would
make sense that there would be a survival variable in the equation
of masculinity and a reproductive variable in the equation.”

46

The reproductive variable is your skill with women and the

Those same ancient, primitive instincts are still in us today.

survival variable for men, specifically men, happens to have

So, if you lose your job as a middle manager, even though

everything to do with your career.

you're not going to die from that, it feels like you could; even
though that's irrational.

How is your career going?  What I mean by that is have
you ever lost a job and it was kind of a sucky job; you really

That's what we're addressing in these career areas.  That's

didn't like it so much, so in a logical sense it's good

why career is included as a core, core area of being a man

that you're gone - that you left that job?

because it literally is the only thing you really control in life.

But, because you got "fired" and suddenly didn't have

We don't control women.  They are unique individuals.  We

income, even though you're perfectly capable of getting

can appeal to them and attract them, but we don't control

another job in short order, you temporarily felt crazy - like

them.  But we most certainly control what we want to be

your life was threatened somehow.

when we grow up, or what we're driving for in our careers.

Even though that is illogical, isn't really what's happening, it

Our careers make us feel alive.

"felt" that way.  It felt so threatening.  Or somebody tarnishes
your reputation at work and you just feel completely

Divide career out into the three areas of the mind and you

threatened.  That's because our careers, as men, are the way

now have:

we feel most vital and viable, if you will; survivability, so to speak.
Finding and Following Your Mission as a Man; followed by...
Taken all the way back to ancient times, if a man had a career
as a hunter, for example, and suddenly broke an arm and

How to Build Teams and Master Politics - very necessary for

couldn't hunt, he literally might die.  What if he was – I'm

your career; and then finally...

not even talking about antibiotics and orthopedic surgery
here.  If for some reason a man lost his ability to do his "job",

How to Lead, Strategize and Manage Problems, also very

which is to hunt, he would die.

necessary for your career.
47

With these three subjects, take our three core courses: the
Mature Masculine Power Program, the KWML Mastery
Program, and the MindOS Mastery Program, and apply
them to the area of career, the foundational core area of a
man's life.

48


Finding Your “Mission as a Man”
YOUR MISSION, IF YOU ACCEPT IT
1. Is something you are naturally “good
enough” to grow at and learn even more
about

YOUR MISSION:
Finding and following your “mission” as a man; why do I use the word mission?

2. Is something that you just plain like and
enjoy

And why do I never use that word in referring to women's careers?

3. Is something that must beneﬁt society if it
is to be successful

Think about the gender difference, the difference between

4. Will never let you down, and can always be
counted upon

masculinity and femininity.
Men all have a sense of a mission that they are on at any given time.


Your mission - your temporary mission - might be you are
trying to get to a party on time, or it might be you are trying
to put something new on your car.  You are on a mission to
solve the problem.  Or you are on a mission alongside your
favorite sports team.  You want to see them win.  You feel
like you're on the same mission as your team.
This word mission is unique to us as men because of our masculine instincts.

49

If we go back to ancient, primitive times once again, and

With the Mature Masculine Power Program we really

consider that men out on the hunt most certainly had a

heavily cover masculinity - yes in the area of attracting

group mission and they had to accomplish that mission - food -

women, but even more so in the areas of:

or die.
· How can I be a man in the workplace and what is my
We are very goal directed in our instincts.  I use that word

mission in life?

"mission" to be something much bigger than just a job, or
even a career.  It's like a raison d'être; it's your reason for
existence, or preserves your existence.  It's what you are put
on earth to do, that has more to do with life than just finding

· How can I figure out what that is and start executing on
it; moving toward it?

a great relationship or marriage or even having children.  It's
what makes you unique.
It’s what makes you feel alive, “viable,” vital, passionate,
and “on fire” as a man.
Everybody can have a relationship.  Everybody can have
children, but what makes you unique and different as a man
has everything to do with expressing itself in your career.
We've all had jobs, a job; but our jobs, many of them or most
of them; don't feel like a mission for our lives.  It's not what
we were put on earth to do.

50


Building Teams and Leadership
YOU CAN’T GO IT ALONE
1. You have to have a team of men to succeed
at your mission in life

BUILDING TEAMS:

2. You will have to be a leader, like it or not

The second area:  How to Build Teams and Master Politics. That's KWML Mastery.

3. Your team will need to have their personal
missions align with your own

Building teams, composing teams, deciding who to befriend in the workplace,

4. And all individual missions will have to line
up with the company in general

who makes a great business partner, has everything to do with choosing
someone whose personality is opposite your own.
In fact, the perfect team in the workplace or in building a business is composed


of a king, a warrior, a magician and a lover, because combined;
they can solve any problem together.  They have the complete set of
skills as a team to solve any problem.
Building teams and mastering politics has a lot to do with understanding people's
personality styles.
That's why KWML can be applied to your career in that way.

51

LEADERSHIP: !
Lastly, leadership has everything to do with your maturity
level as a man.  Strategizing and Managing Problems - that
all has to do with your intellectual ability and character
ability, maturity level, to be able to be a leader and manage
and solve problems.  That's MindOS Mastery.
We've got two more general areas to apply masculine
intelligence to.  One is Skills at Being a Man, feeling like a
man, operating like a man; and Skills at Personal Growth
and Evolution.
I'm going to cover these last two general areas of a man's life
and how to apply masculine intelligence to them.

52

Chapter 9

Skills at Beating
Fear

Defeating fear for all men must be mastered. The
answer is courage, as covered in the Anxiety Map
of the MindOS Program.
In the process of “initiation” as a man, when you
beat the fear of death, there is nothing else to fear...


Courage is the Cure
DO WHAT IS RIGHT...
1. ...even if afraid, or it’s difficult or
uncomfortable. This is courage, the cure
for fear.

SKILLS AT BEATING FEAR:

2. Knowing what is right comes from your
sense of ethics and intuition.

to we're just talking about women or we're just talking about

3. These can only be gained through trial and
error in making moral decisions

sense of feeling passionate for life itself, feeling good about

Skills at Being a Man - what do I mean by that as opposed
career.  I'm talking about more of a deep sense of identity, a
who you are as a man.  Skills at being a man – Our first
course that we talk about is actually an ebook called Attack Anxiety.


The reason we include that in this category of being a man is
because in most cases our first roadblock to any growth or
improvement in our lives is beating fear.
Fear stops us cold.  It stops us not only from solving
problems we face but from even learning.  We can't learn
when we're in the anxiety state.  So we've got to get fear or
anxiety out of the way quickly and first; and courage is the cure for fear.
In that Program and in the MindOS Mastery Program, when
I cover a thing called the "anxiety map" I show you how
54

courage is the cure for all anxieties and how courage isn't
something you have to go find or buy or borrow.  It's as
simple as deciding to do what's right, even though you're
terrified, or even though you feel bad, or even though you
feel depressed.
If you just do the right thing, you are being courageous.  You
can be both terrified and courageous at the same time.
For example, like a solder at war.  One of our new bloggers
was actually with Special Forces in the US Military, very
interesting guy; you'll hear from him at some point and see
his blogs and posts in the Forum.
In the military, if you're at war, you can be both terrified,
while you're in a battle, but still do courageous acts.  You've
got to learn this as a man.  It's something that is unique to
men.  It's a unique experience of having to find courage –
well, use the courage that you already have the ability to
use; which is simply doing the right thing no matter how
bad it feels to do.

55


Alpha Males Have No Fear
THE SECOND METHOD
1. When you know your “rank” in a society, it
also relieves fear

ALPHA-MALE INSTINCTS:

2. Being “alpha-male” or as dominant in a
group, leading it, also makes you immune
to anxiety and fear

Courage was the first thing to learn about anxiety and fear - it’s ultimately the cure.

3. You have action in your favor, and action
alleviates fear


But there are other things specific to being a man which alleviate fear. Women can
have courage too, so courage is not specific to men.
Being alpha-male is.
It’s another thing that makes you a man, feeling like a man without fear how do you use your "alpha male" instincts.  We hear a lot these
days about it's good to be an alpha male. Everyone wants to be the alpha male.
There can be only one alpha male, right?
But what a lot of people don't talk about is how in animal
populations when there is, say, an alpha male gorilla; how
long do they get to be the alpha male?  Sometimes it's just for
a day, and then a bigger gorilla comes along; or a week or month at most.

56

This notion of trying to be an alpha male in the most, sort of
unsophisticated sense of the phrase, is not too useful for your life.
When you hear programs about "be the alpha male in
dating, blah, blah, blah"; not so useful because there's going
to be another bigger gorilla who's going to come along and
knock you off your pedestal in short order.
What's more useful is to know what masculine instinct is,
how to use it in the right ways at the right times.
Which of the tools in your tool belt, so to speak, are useful at
the current moment at the current scenario and do so with
maturity?
Maturity is what makes you durable instead of just a
temporary alpha male leader.  Maturity is what sees you
through to the end, makes you durable as a man.
That's why the Mature Masculine Power Program is called
that.  I don't want you to just be a temporary alpha male.  I
want you to have a lifetime of solid leadership and,
sometimes, dominance over groups of people.  They respect
you for your maturity, not just your brutal, primitive
masculinity.  That's Mature Masculine Power.

57


Charisma Has No Fear
THE THIRD METHOD
1. Fear cannot coexist with happiness and
passion

SKILLS AT HAVING CHARISMA:

2. Men with charisma cannot feel fear while
being charismatic

How to Build Social Circles and Charisma; you know a

3. Therefore, if your charisma is directed
toward building teams and accomplishing
your mission, you have no fear, AND you
are putting your fear to constructive use

second part of feeling good as a man does have to do with
how networked we are, how connected we are both to other
men and to women, to people in general as friends.
The thing that gets us friends; there's a principle underneath this
button really is the KWML Mastery Program, which is not


just about personality styles, it's also about what is
friendship?  What is love?  And even, what is value?  What is
it to be valued in a group?  What makes us valuable?
Literally what makes us valuable in a group is the degree to
which we make other people feel happy; the degree to which
we raise other people's self-esteem level.  That's how valued we are.
Making friendships, building your social networks, even
applying this over into the career category: networking for
your career, has everything to do with how happy can you make other people.
58

· A magician needs to be given an audience to clap for
How much of a raise or a bump in their self-esteem can you

them; they like to perform.

give them?  Whatever degree that is, is how valued you will
be to that group or to those clients or to your sports team.

· And a lover needs to be valued for their story-telling
ability, and for their kindness.  They need to be

If you want to be the captain of the team, the most valuable
player, he's the one that makes most of the team the

appreciated in that way.

happiest; whether it's through winning or through skill or
just how he conducts himself as a friend.
Notice sometimes when we see big sports leagues, there's
the most valuable player.  He's not necessarily the exact,

If you can do these things for these four personality styles,
then you will be more and more and more valued by that
person or group, and obviously that's good for your life.

more skilled player.  He has teamwork ability, and charisma.
So how to have more charisma and build bigger social
circles; KWML guides that.  If you know people's personality
style, then you know exactly what makes them feel happy,
makes them feel fulﬁlled, and raises their self-esteem level.
· If you know how to conduct yourself with a King; he
needs to be an expert.
· A Warrior needs to be honored for their accomplishments
and their power.

59

Chapter 10

Be Master of Your
Own Destiny

A man is self-determining. His character produces
his success, fulﬁllment and the details of his life
story, but his masculinity is like the power source
for all that.
To be master of your own destiny you have to turn
your “fuel” - your masculinity - toward growing
mature character...


Character Is Destiny
FATE VS DESTINY
1. Fate you have no control over. It is not
masculine, and there is nothing you can do
about bad luck

BE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DESTINY:

2. Destiny is determined by your character
maturity, among the features of which is
your quality of decisions, your boundaries,
and self-awareness, called “Observing
Ego”

under the Skills at Being a Man category.  We're applying

3. Know what to call “luck” and what to see
as an opportunity for character growth

Lastly, How to Be Master of Your Own Destiny; this is again
masculine intelligence to this.
You hear a lot of talk about this word: destiny.  A lot of self- help, marketytype people out there like using that word destiny.  They like using
the word passion.  But they most often use those words in very,
so vague, ways that it's not practical.  We want to know "how to":  how to get a
girlfriend, how to keep my job.  I want to know exactly, how do I do it?  Like


an instruction manual.  And then I want to be taught how to execute on that.
If you could demonstrate, that would be all the better.  Our destiny, scientiﬁcally,
the closest thing to that would be reaching our highest potential as men.
I have a quote for you, that's immensely useful and very true.
It comes from a philosopher named Heraclitus and was later
quoted by Freud often.
61

Instead of just motivational, woo woo, cheerleading kind of
"Character is destiny."

training programs. It's very analytical and accurate. If you
worked on your boundaries, and you worked on your ethics,

Character is destiny, and that is a major subject of the

and you worked on your shrewdness, and you worked on

MindOS Mastery Program where we learn about general

your self-esteem, your well-being and your conﬁdence, you

personal growth, maturity, and character.

worked on your education and you worked on your life's
experience and you had this thing wrapped around it all –

The reason character is destiny is because for you to reach

the only technical phrase I really use is called "observing ego".

your highest potential as a man means that you are reaching
the highest maturity you can reach.
· Higher maturity means stronger boundaries, which
makes you more durable and diplomatic; higher selfesteem, which makes you more loved and valued by
others, and gives you the most wisdom in your decisions.
· Wise decisions mean you are almost always right with
your decisions, as far as what's going to give you a
successful outcome.
So if you want to truly grow toward your highest destiny,
then you would want to grow as mature as you can grow.
That is science-based. That's masculine intelligence, to see
it that way.

62


Skills at Self-Guidance
HOW TO FATHER YOURSELF
1. Every time you do courage, you are
fathering yourself emotionally

SKILLS AT SELF-GUIDANCE:

2. When you use Observing Ego, you are
fathering yourself intellectually and through
character growth that you, yourself
produce

What "observing ego" means is:  the ability to self-monitor and self-

3. Self-guidance starts as loneliness in the
same way that courage is lonely...
4. ...but with time, everyone wants to join you


correct and be your own best friend, your own mentor as you're living life.
You have Self-Guidance. It's similar to being mindful, to the Buddhists,
or being self-aware and sentient; asking yourself questions.  It's like selftalk where you ask yourself questions such as: How am I
doing with my life right now?  How am I doing with this woman?
Is she attracted to me right now, or not, and why?
It's asking yourself questions in real time as you live your
life.  That's "observing ego".  Without that skill, you can't grow.
"Observing ego" is the prime course skill of any personal growth.
You will not grow or improve as a man without "observing ego" ability.
And if you get it, and cultivate it and use it, then you grow.
You become more mature.  You become of higher character and
63

therefore you are closer to getting your destiny, your highest
potential as a man; because of all these working parts of your

It covers literally every possibility of a man's life in great

psyche, or your maturity.

detail with exact examples from where we work together to
solve problems.  It's very rich story telling.  That's Total

When we don't use "observing ego", that's when our

Men's Solutions.

reptilian brain takes over.  That's how it works.  That's when
we act out.  That's when we make a silly mistake, we say

Beneath that, Growing Strength, Respect, and Boundaries;

something we regret.  It's the source of any regrets.  If you've

that's clearly MindOS Mastery where we learn all about

ever had any regrets in your life, they were caused by an

boundaries.

absence of "observing ego" skill at that time.  And if you
cultivate more of it, guess what?  You have less regrets in

How important would it be to develop the ability to have

life.  You win.  That's how to master your own destiny.

constant protection from stress to retain all of your resources

MindOS Mastery addresses this.

and use them in just the right ways at just the right times?

That's using masculine intelligence in that area of reaching

That's all boundary related.  Your boundary is your budgeter

your destiny, your highest potential.

of your resources, and your resources as a man need to be
mainly steered toward your career growth.

The last general area of the man's life is General Personal
Growth and Your Evolution.  For these, we have some very

Why?

rich choices in programs.
Because your career growth is your core sense of vitality and
There are six of them.

viability, the survival variable that Freud and Darwin
would've talked about.  Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries

Total Men's Solutions:  the program is called the Instant

are what preserve your resources as a man; whether your

Teleseminar Download.  It's over 40 hours of live coaching,

money, your time, your energy.  Your resources matter.

just like we're doing here:  teleseminars from a whole year's

MindOS Mastery helps with that.

teleseminars.
64

Courage and Confidence - certainly the roadblock to even

That's really derogatory and men need to be honored again.

starting.
Depresculinity addresses that and gives you tools for fixing that.
Defeat "Depresculinity".  This is our newest program.
Depresculinity.  We wanted to address something much

Down beneath that:  Superhero Masculinity.  I wanted to go

more widespread than just plain old sadness or depression.

the extra mile with what are masculine instincts and how do

We wanted to address something that we think is really

they work?  We completely cover that in the Mature

exponentially on the rise in Western culture; that has to do

Masculine Power Program.

with how men are viewed in society in the past couple of
decades for three decades.

The way we do that in that program is we use the ancient
Greek Gods as sort of key codes for understanding each little

And how they are starting to view themselves and how you

circuit of what we call masculine instinct.

can go to work and do your day job and even have a
relationship, but still never feel totally on top of the world,

If you learn stories about Zeus or Cupid or Eros or

feel great as a man in who you are.  That's what we're

Prometheus or Odysseus or Hades or Mercury or Hermes,

referring to by Depresculinity.

you're learning about the little sub-categories of masculine
instinct; when you learn about each of those mythologic Gods.

Chances are if you are a man living today, you have felt this
feeling at least briefly, called depresculinity.  There is a

The stories are designed to teach us how do I use my

specific way of solving it that is not the same as getting over

communication ability, that's Mercury; how do I use my

some sadness or depression.

leadership ability, that's Zeus; how do I manage my
resources well, that's Poseidon.

It's very specific to men, to how men get better from
this feeling of depresculinity.  It gives you a lot of tools for dealing

By learning those stories, it explains to you, as it has for

with today's society and how men are seen; how they're

thousands of years what the solutions are for you as a man,

often depicted as "bad", just because they're male.  Or that men

uniquely a man.  Not for women, just for men.  So Mature

are so silly watching their silly sports events.

Masculine Power addresses that, using ancient Greek Gods.
65

you translate them to your everyday life.  You'll be out in the
SUPERHERO MASCULINITY:

world doing your dating or being in a career and all of
sudden Spiderman will pop to mind, or Batman will pop to

But, I realized in looking at these ancient mythologies that

mind and to women that would seem silly.  To other people

there's actually modern mythology too.  It's called:

who don't know about this kind of technology it might seem silly.

Superhero comics.  Superheroes – Ironman, Batman,
Superman, Spiderman are really today's equivalent of

But for your purposes, it's very useful and practical and science-

these ancient mythologic stories; the ancient Greek Gods.  So

based to use some of these stories to help give you

I added this new program that is a perfect companion to

guidance and advice on solving problems.

Mature Masculine Power Program called Superhero Masculinity.
It views masculinity almost like a superheroes' tool belt with

BROTHERS:

utilities in it.  When you learn about Spiderman, you find
out how to use your intellect to really man up and feel vital

Then lastly, we do have a program called Brothers.  It's

as a man.  When you learn about Superman, you might learn

brotherly advice.  Some of the most difficult problems men face –

about his fortress of solitude and the masculine instinct to

You may have noticed in your life that sometimes you

find privacy and a workshop or garage or special place that

feel like you can't go to your dad, your father about certain

only you know about where you feel like you feel up on life

kinds of problems.  They are personal in a unique way and

again; spending alone time.  That's actually the Hades

sometimes they are so uniquely male you wouldn't go to,

instinct from the Mature Masculine Power Program.

say, a female therapist about them, or a sister or a mother.

Superman has that Hades instinct today, in his fortress of

But the notion of having a brother is someone who is of your

solitude.

same generation who gets you, understands you and maybe
has some advice to offer.  Like an older brother.  So we made

You can use the superheroes just like you can use the ancient

a program on the most touchy subjects that men face today

Greek Gods as a Rosetta stone, a secret code, to figure out

called Brothers.

what are the working parts of your masculinity and then
66

We of course have a general, your exterior, how to ramp up
your success through your looks and your lifestyle.  Setting
up a bachelor pad and cultivating a sense of clothing and
fashion and grooming as a last physical category for you to
learn about to really round it out as a man.  One of our coach
staff members, Josh, really knocked it out of the park with
these programs.  They are like nothing else out there that
you would ﬁnd even in men's fashion magazines.  They are
fantastic.
Those are all of our programs and those are how to apply
this notion of masculine intelligence to the major areas of a
man's life and getting solutions.

67

Chapter 11

Men’s Questions
and Answers

Men often don’t turn to each other for answers
directly. The only acceptable way is in which we
approach men of higher rank, whom we know have
our best interests in mind, and are on the same
team mission
You will need mentors. This is your chance...


Self-Defeat
DEPRESCULINITY AND SELF-DEFEAT
1. Depresculinity is a diminishment of BOTH
your Masculinity AND your Self-esteem
2. It may carry “self-defeating behavior” in it
3. The cure is to work on BOTH your
Masculinity and your mood

Let’s get into real, personal questions and answers. These are submitted from all
over the world.  You can feel free to chime in and we can discuss these.
Keep in mind this notion of there being a science to being a man
and that we ultimately want to cultivate masculine intelligence
in what we do; something with speciﬁcally male sensibility and
understanding of our own instincts.
Question:
Tommy from Santa Anna, CA says:  "Hey Dr. Paul, I feel that
my depresculinity is triggered by a lack of success in my
career.  I'm always procrastinating what I know I must do, but this selfdefeating behavior seems to dominate over me.
How can I overcome this behavior?  I appreciate all that you
do for us as men and I'm a huge admirer of your work. Thank you."
Dr. Paul: Thank you back.  He uses the word Depresculinity, which is
a word I've coined to describe the modern state of men not
feeling great about their lives, or on top of the world, or vital
in more of a societal way.  Men are not honored today for
69

just being men and for the role that they take in society.  A

small advances along the way.  One of the specific

problem of the last two or three decades that has escalated

techniques I like giving guys in the Mature Masculine Power

and has deep impact on your personal life.  He doesn't feel

Program, which has everything to do with career, is the idea

good about his career and he says he's always

of "enjoy the future now."  It helps to get rid of some of the

procrastinating and this is a self-defeating behavior.  How

perfectionism that makes you feel down and blah when you

can I overcome this behavior?

look around at what's going on in your life right now.  And
you're nowhere near your ultimate dream yet.

One thing for a guy to look out for in this kind of dilemma
or problem is perfectionism.  What do I mean by that?  Some

Enjoy the future now.

of the time that a guy feels not so great about a major area of
life, whether it's women or work, is that he has a view in his

It's a way of using your imagination but in an educated guess

mind of an ideal and it's good that we do this, that we

way that if you started working toward a career shift to

dream, that we set really lofty goals because it gifts us a

a new field, or you're going to start school in the fall,

"north star" to steer toward; our ship.

or you've left the job and you're considering changing cities.

It gives us a measuring point that is our ultimate dream.  But

Look forward to the possibilities for the future and enjoy

we get into a problem when we "don't enjoy the journey

them now, so that you feel better now.  That will help take

along the way."

away part of the emotional part of that depresculinity
state that you're in.

That has everything to do with boundaries.  A specific way
to fix perfectionism as a cause of not really enjoying your

Now, another thing that we have here is, you are clearly

career or doing well at; it has to do with unreasonable

saying: "I procrastinate."  Obviously that's the probably the

standards like idealistic standards for your career.  It has to

major thing you're going to have to fix.  You have already

do with growing better boundaries.

identified it and you know it exists.  Then he says:  "This selfdefeating behavior dominates over me."  I thought a lot

So you would work on your boundaries and you would

about this phrase: self-defeating.

work on giving yourself more of a pat on the back for the
70

What comes in my mind about that and makes me wonder

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you just

about it is that in some of my biology training when I was

don't like it?  And that if you don't like it, it can't

much younger, they would talk about how amazing the

be a career mission.

brain is as an organ and how it's evolved to be so accurate
and so much of a champion of our survival and our welfare

So you're off your mission as a man, and that if you found

that almost everything it does is to beneﬁt us.

the right thing to do, you probably wouldn't procrastinate.You'd b
e motivated.  You would show up on time, every time.

Not to defeat us.
So get rid of the negative label of "self-defeating" and
So I actually started to question the idea of self-defeating as

say:  "Well, clearly my brain is trying to help me by making

a phrase.  You know, a lot of therapists use that phrase:  self-

me procrastinate."  What does that tell me about me?  And

defeating behavior.

what does that tell me about my day job?  "Oh, must be the
wrong one for me."  I would think of it that way.

How is it possible for self-defeating behavior to even exist
if our own brains are these perfect machines that always
are trying to act on our behalf and make things good for us?
Maybe don't use the phrase:  self- defeating.
Maybe wonder why your brain is trying to help
you by procrastinating.  It's trying to do something good for
you, in your favor.
Obviously, the ﬁrst thing that pops to mind is any of us
would procrastinate in a job we don't like.
So whatever it is you're spending your time on now –
71


Immediate Gratification
SLOW DOWN
1. Immediate gratification is childish
2. Delayed gratification is not

QUESTION:
"I have been wondering about the natural drive for people to

3. The former always gets you into trouble,
except when it is light and leisurely

seek immediate gratification or short cuts.  I see myself when

4. The latter always serves you, except when
you don’t plan - when you are “tilting at
windmills” like Don Quixote

realize the importance of striving to make long term


sometimes see myself 'fall back' into not so mature ways of

I was younger as doing the same, probably natural.  Now I
persistent work and in general not desire quick fixes.  Do
you have any advice on how to really sink this concept in?  I
doing things and going for the quick fix in life."
Dr. Paul: Some of you who have been around a long time with what
we do are familiar with me.  You know, pooh-poohing the marketers out
there who sell quick fixes.
It's really catering to people's instinct to want to be provided to and efficiently in
the shortest possible way:  Get rich quick or personal growth quick; instant
everything.  Even with technology –

72

The Science of Masculine Intelligence

The Science of Masculine Intelligence

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