Deck from my talk on self-coaching and leadership at Kixeye, San Francisco, March 27, 2013. Learn more at www.edbatista.com.

1. Self-coaching
& leadership
Ed Batista, March 27, 2013
www.edbatista.com/self-coaching.html
Photo: Seth Anderson

2. Who am I?
Executive coach
Instructor @ Stanford GSB
www.edbatista.com
Photo: Seth Anderson

3. Agenda
Self-coaching
Leadership
Mindset
Practices
Goals
Change
Photo: Theresa Thompson

4. Format
Brief conceptual framing
Discuss with your partner
Photo: Theresa Thompson

5. Coaching
NOT consulting, advising or mentoring
Client owns the agenda
Client has the answers
Photo: Seth Anderson

6. Self-coaching
99% of coaching = Self-coaching
91% of engagements < 18 months
High demand, limited resources
Photo: Seth Anderson

7. Self-coaching
Not a solitary experience
Coaching partners are essential
Start with your partner today
Photo: Seth Anderson

8. Leadership
It rarely looks like this
Not a function of job title or role
A way of being with others
Photo: Martin Fisch www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/4074994941/

9. Leadership
Work has changed
Organizations have changed
Leadership has to change
Photo: xlibber

10. Leadership
Empowering others
Interpersonal skills
Emotional intelligence in action
Photo: woodleywonderworks

11. Leadership
Key capabilities…
Self-awareness
Self-regulation
Managing relationships
Photo: woodleywonderworks

12. Discuss in pairs
Given this model of leadership…
What are my strengths as a leader?
What are my weaknesses?
What do I want to work on?
Photo: Ed Yourdon

13. Mindset
Perspective on ourselves
Work in progress
Open to learning
Carol Dweck
Photo: jm3

14. Mindset
Fixed Growth
Talent & intelligence Talent & intelligence
are inherent traits can be developed
Mistakes are failures Mistakes are learning
or character flaws opportunities
Negative emotional Pay close attention
response to to mistakes &
mistakes learn more
Carol Dweck: www.j.mp/dweck99

15. Mindset
Mental models matter
Stereotype threat
Perception shapes our experience
Photo: Renato Ganoza

16. Discuss in pairs
How would a growth mindset help me?
What mental models might get in my way?
Photo: Keoni Cabral

17. Practices
Experiential learning
Coaching conversations
Reflection and journaling
Photo: Rollan Budi

18. Experiential
Act
learning
Apply Reflect
What will I do What happened?
the next time? What resulted
from my actions?
Conceptualize
What do these results imply?
What conclusions can I draw?

19. Experiential
Act
learning
Now What?
What?
So What?

20. Coaching
conversations
More questions, less advice
How…? and What…? are better than Why…?
Help us find our own answers
Photo: Ed Yourdon

21. Coaching
conversations
Empathy = “the antidote to shame”
Listening vs. feeling heard
Learning & action
Photo: Ed Yourdon

22. Reflection
Neuroscience of journaling
Memory of an experience
Emotional experiences
Non-emotional experiences
Photo: Alex Erde

23. Reflection
No right way
Natural & enjoyable
Valuable
Leverage situational factors
Avoid guilt
Photo: Alex Erde

24. Discuss in pairs
Who are my potential coaching partners?
What would journaling look like for me?
Photo: Ana Karenina

25. Goals
When we are…
Committed
Able
Unconflicted
…goals support performance
Photo: John Trainor

26. Goals
However…
Learning may trump performance
Threatening goals are counter-productive
Goals may diminish motivation & enjoyment
Photo: John Trainor

27. Goals
Effective goals…
Generate feedback
Heighten commitment
Don’t obscure the big picture
Photo: John Trainor

28. Goals & coaching
Accountable to ourselves, not the coach
As a coach: Investment vs. attachment
As a “coachee”: Get curious about failure
Photo: Erich Ferdinand

29. Discuss in pairs
What is a current leadership goal of mine?
How will this goal motivate me?
How might it get in my way?
Photo: Andrew Yee

30. Change
Behavior is stable
Driving & restraining forces
Change requires “unfreezing”
Photo: ezioman

31. Change
Key driving force
“Survival anxiety”
I must change to
achieve my goals
Photo: ezioman

32. Change
Key restraining force
“Learning anxiety”
Change threatens my
self-esteem or identity
Photo: ezioman
Photo: ezioman

33. Change
Survival anxiety > Learning anxiety
Trigger some survival anxiety
Decrease learning anxiety
Photo: ezioman

34. Change
& mindset
Growth mindset = Work in progress
Change is less threatening
New behavior ≠ New identity
Mistakes = Learning opportunities

35. Conclusions
Self-coaching is possible…
…with the right mindset, partners and practice
(Professional coaching helps, too)
Leadership is emotional intelligence in action
Goals are powerful; use with care
Change requires comfort with discomfort
Photo: David Barrie

36. Thank you!
Photo: Seth Anderson

37. Photo Credits: www.edbatista.com
Lifeguard Chairs by Seth Anderson, www.flickr.com/photos/swanksalot/4215424034/
Compass by Theresa Thompson, www.flickr.com/photos/theresasthompson/7163227255/
Marcus Aurelius by Martin Fisch, www.flickr.com/photos/marfis75/4074994941/
Typewriter by xlibber, www.flickr.com/photos/xlibber/4855182596/
Soccer Practice by woodleywonderworks, www.flickr.com/photos/wwworks/1384952210/
Discussion # 1 by Ed Yourdon, www.flickr.com/photos/yourdon/2574628438/
Traffic Cones by jm3, www.flickr.com/photos/jm3/2644059971/
Girl in Classroom by Renato Ganoza, www.flickr.com/photos/rzganoza/4186516481/
Discussion # 2 by Keoni Cabral, www.flickr.com/photos/keoni101/5946530725/
Golf Swing by Rollan Budi, www.flickr.com/photos/rollanb/2972392183/
Coaching Conversations by Ed Yourdon, www.flickr.com/photos/yourdon/4159766506/
Journaling by Alex Erde, www.flickr.com/photos/alexerde/2253263970/
Discussion # 3 by Ana Karenina, http://www.flickr.com/photos/anakarenina/2328103845/
Archer by John Trainor, www.flickr.com/photos/trainor/2902023575/
Conversation by Erich Ferdinand, www.flickr.com/photos/erix/4122236130/
Discussion # 4 by Andrew Yee, www.flickr.com/photos/halfchinese/167535372/
Icebreaker by ezioman, www.flickr.com/photos/ezioman/2096480108/
Garden by David Barrie, www.flickr.com/photos/addictive_picasso/2478673625/