Startup Communication, Dec 2013
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Slides that accompanied a half-day workshop for 11 pairs of co-founders on Startup Communication, held @ Flixster in San Francisco, December 19, 2013.
![Startup
Communication
Ed Batista
@ Flixster
December 18, 2013
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-startup-communication-2013-12-18-131218233514-phpapp02/85/startup-communication-dec-2013-1-320.jpg)
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Startup Communication, Dec 2013
- 1. Startup Communication Ed Batista @ Flixster December 18, 2013 Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
- 2. Who am I? Executive coach Instructor @ Stanford GSB www.edbatista.com blogs.hbr.org/ed-batista HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
- 3. Where are we going? 1:1 communication Group norms You as partners and role models Photo by Alex Eflon [link]
- 4. How will we get there? Concepts Exercises & debriefs 1:1 feedback Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
- 5. Startups as human systems Complex group dynamics Communication = survival Feedback = learning Relationships matter Leaders as levers Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
- 7. Founder as avatar Avatara The ideal made real Company made in your image
- 8. Concepts #1 Today’s headline The simplest feedback model Feelings The net Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
- 9. The headline Feedback is stressful So criticize with skill & give more heartfelt praise Photo by Garry Knight [link]
- 10. The simplest feedback model When you do [X], I feel [Y].
- 11. The simplest feedback model When you do [X], I feel [Y].
- 12. Feelings Disclosing feelings = vulnerable But feelings influence And vulnerability closeness Comfort with discomfort Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
- 13. The net Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
- 14. The net David Bradford How to avoid triggering defensiveness? How to increase perceptions of fairness? Read More Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
- 15. The net Me and my… You and your… My behavior… Actions Statements Non-Verbals Needs Motives Intentions Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] Feelings Reactions Responses
- 16. The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y]. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
- 17. Concepts #2 Social threat SCARF model Relationships The net (again) Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
- 18. Can I give you some feedback? Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
- 19. Feedback and social threat Photo by Mykl Roventine [link]
- 20. Threat response aka “Fight or flight” Physiological signs? Emotional signs? Photo by William Warby [link]
- 21. Threat response Cognitive impairment… Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by William Warby [link]
- 22. Social threat Photo by David Sim [link]
- 23. Social threat Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
- 24. SCARF model David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response? Read More Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
- 26. SCARF model Threat to… Status? Certainty? Autonomy? Relatedness? Fairness? Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] & feedback
- 27. Use the model When giving feedback… Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship* Play fair* Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
- 28. Use the model When getting feedback… Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions (Norms help*)
- 29. Relationships John Gottman What characterizes successful relationships? Read More Photo by Harsha KR [link]
- 30. Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Mutual influence Responding to “bids”
- 31. Relationships & conflict 5:1 positive to negative “Emotional bank account”
- 32. Founder as avatar Think about your partner How’s your emotional bank account? What are you doing to build the relationship?
- 33. The net (again) Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
- 34. The net How to avoid triggering defensiveness? How to increase perceptions of fairness? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
- 35. The net Me and my… You and your… My behavior… Actions Statements Non-Verbals Needs Motives Intentions Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] Feelings Reactions Responses
- 36. The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y]. Diminish social threat & defensiveness Increase perceptions of fairness Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
- 37. Founder as avatar Think about your partner When do you cross their net? When do they cross yours?
- 38. Concepts #3 Emotional intelligence & groups Talking about feelings Group norms Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
- 39. EQ and groups Why care? Effective teams Participation, cooperation, collaboration Can’t mandate behavior Read More Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
- 40. EQ and groups Essential conditions… Mutual trust Group identity (feeling of belonging) Group efficacy (belief in value of the team) Strongly affected by group EQ Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
- 41. EQ and groups Individual EQ Emotional awareness Emotion regulation (≠ suppression) Inward (one’s own emotions) Outward (others’ emotions) Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
- 42. EQ and groups High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group Group norms determine group EQ Create awareness of emotion Help regulate emotion Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
- 43. Founder as avatar Your behavior = company norms How aware are you of your emotions? How well do you regulate your emotions?
- 44. Talking about Affect labeling feelings Amygdala Talking disrupts negative emotion Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion Read More Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
- 45. Talking about Group norms feelings Norms define what’s normative Can we talk about feelings here? Overcome embarrassment/shame Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
- 46. Our norms Photo by jm3 [link]
- 47. Our norms Consider company norms Create awareness of emotions Help regulate emotions Read More Photo by jm3 [link]
- 48. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 1. Spend time getting to know others personally.
- 49. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 2. Regularly ask how others are doing.
- 50. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 3. Share thoughts and emotions with others in the moment.
- 51. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 4. Ask others who have been quiet in a discussion what they think.
- 52. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 5. Fully explore others’ resistance to our decisions.
- 53. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 6. Set aside time to discuss and evaluate our own effectiveness.
- 54. Norms that create awareness We never… We always… 7. Acknowledge and discuss the feeling in the group in the moment.
- 55. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 1. Have clear ground rules for productive behavior in meetings.
- 56. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 2. Call out behavior that violates those ground rules.
- 57. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 3. Express acceptance of others’ emotions.
- 58. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 4. Make time to discuss difficulties within the team and the emotions they generate.
- 59. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 5. Use playfulness to acknowledge and relieve stress.
- 60. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 6. Express optimism about the team’s capabilities.
- 61. Norms that help regulate We never… We always… 7. Provide others with positive feedback in the moment.
- 62. Our norms What norms do you have? What norms do you need? What can you do as leaders? Photo by jm3 [link]
- 63. Concepts #4 Positive feedback Soft start Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
- 64. Positive feedback A paradox So important So often ineffective What’s wrong? Photo by Aaron Matthews [link]
- 65. Positive feedback We may not trust it We may even resent it We often praise the wrong things Read More
- 66. Positive feedback Don’t praise to buffer criticism Use a soft start*
- 67. Positive feedback Don’t praise to overcome resistance Use other influence tactics
- 68. Positive feedback Don’t praise ability Praise effort and persistence
- 69. Soft start Not like this Photo by Phil McElhinney [link]
- 70. Soft start Like this Photo by OakleyOriginals [link]
- 71. Soft start Begin with positive intent (But don’t bullshit) Emphasize mutual goals Be mindful of your stress Read More
- 72. 1:1 feedback Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
- 73. 1:1 feedback When getting feedback… Observe your threat response Do you want to ask for specific feedback? Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
- 74. 1:1 feedback When giving feedback… Positive feedback encouraged When criticizing, stay on your side of the net When you do [X], I feel [Y]. Use the Vocabulary of Emotions Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
- 75. Closing Photo by Brett Casadonte [link]