This is a condensed slide deck from my Winter 2019 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Course materials are archived at https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-course.html

1. The art of
Photo by Adam Kubalica [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
Class 6:
RESILIENCE &
VULNERABILITY
Winter 2019
Photo by Philip Leara [link]

3. Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
Resilience in quartets 20 mins
Debrief & discussion 15 mins
Vulnerability stories 40 mins
Debrief & discussion 15 mins
For next time… 5 mins
Agenda

4. Power
Image courtesy of TED [link]

5. Power
“Power pose” research has replication issues
Many open questions, but not groundless
Note the importance of physiology
How we feel (physically) 
How we feel (emotionally)

6. Resilience
Photo by Adam Kubalica [link]

7. Resilience
Broader than Davidson
Karen Reivich & Andrew Shatté
Ability to adapt & persevere when things go awry

8. Resilience
Photo by This Particular Greg [link]
elements

9. Resilience
Reivich & Shatté
What constitutes resilience?
What characterizes resilient behavior?
elements

10. Resilience
Emotion regulation
Impulse control
Optimism
Causal analysis
elements
Empathy
Self-efficacy
Reaching out

11. As always…
Photo by Sue Clark [link]

12. As always…
A map is not the territory it represents.
~Alford Korzybski

13. RQ assessment
What are these results?
NOT aptitude or proficiency
Frequency of use & comfort level

14. Reflect
You have a lot of new data on yourself
You’ve been thinking a lot about it
What questions do you have?

15. With your group
How might I fully leverage my strengths?
How might I address my weaknesses?
(Self-coaching is social)

16. Resilience
Emotion regulation
Impulse control
Optimism
Causal analysis
elements
Empathy
Self-efficacy
Reaching out

17. Thank your group
Photo by Keith Allison [link]

18. Debrief
What conclusions did you draw?
What questions remain?

19. Origins of
Photo by Harald Groven [link]
resilience

20. Origins of
Sub-optimal conditioning is the human condition.
Must that be a permanent problem? No.
~Linda Graham, Bouncing Back
resilience

21. Origins of
Childhood & life experiences matter
And change is eminently possible
Neuroplasticity is key
So what can we do?
resilience

22. Mindfulness
Photo by Strevo [link]

23. Mindfulness
OK
We got it
We’ll meditate
What else can we do?

24. Photo by Sludge G [link]
Many paths

25. Many paths
Tools in Reivich & Shatté from CBT
Avoiding thinking traps
Challenging beliefs
Detecting icebergs
Learning ABCs

26. Many paths
Tools in Reivich & Shatté from CBT
Multiple variations on the same theme
Identify, explore & challenge mental models

27. Mental models
Photo by Carmelo Speltino [link]
Our perceptions shape reality
How we define experiences
How we see ourselves

28. Remember me?
Photo by Rodrigo Baptista [link]

29. Reframing
The meanings we assign  Emotional response
Re-interpret a situation  Shift our emotions
Our mental models shape our experiences

30. Remember me?
Photo by Paul Colley [link]

31. Emotion
Conceptually simple
Hard to do under stress
Get MESSy to build capacity
management

32. Vulnerability
Photo by Philip Leara [link]

33. Empathy, shame
& embarrassment
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]

34. Empathy, shame
Brené Brown, University of Houston
Edgar Schein, MIT
& embarrassment

35. Empathy, shame
Shame & embarrassment = I’m unworthy or flawed
Empathy = The antidote to these feelings
& embarrassment

36. Empathy, shame
Shame & embarrassment = Create distance
Empathy = Creates closeness
& embarrassment

37. Empathy, shame
Shame derives its power
from being unspeakable.
~Brené Brown
& embarrassment

38. Empathy, shame
Seeking help  Shame or embarrassment
(Any emotions that evoke vulnerability)
True for many forms of disclosure
& embarrassment

39. Empathy, shame
Our typical responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse”
3. “Here’s some advice”
& embarrassment

40. Empathy, shame
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ agreement)
& embarrassment

41. Vulnerability
Photo by Philip Leara [link]

42. Crucible stories
Photo by Dave Hogg [link]

43. Crucible stories
Meaning-making
Mental models
Connections

44. Crucible stories
Meaning-making (Causal analysis)
Mental models (Emotion regulation)
Connections (Reaching out & empathy)

45. Personal, but
not professional?
Photo by John Walker [link]

46. You can’t trust a
Photo by Yin [link]
predator

47. Examples of
1. Sharing an unpopular opinion
2. Standing up for myself
3. Asking for help
4. Saying no
(Brené Brown, Daring Greatly, p 35)
vulnerability

48. Translation is key
Photo by Robert Scoble [link]

49. Translation is key
The real world ≠ a classroom
But the underlying principles still apply
It’s up to you to translate them effectively

50. For next time…
Photo by Leo Reynolds [link]

51. Unhappiness
Photo by Jes [link]

52. Unhappiness
Subjective points of view
Stoicism, Pema Chödrön, Viktor Frankl
Which ones are most meaningful to you?

53. Unhappiness
Chödrön is a little out there
That’s why Burkeman Chapter 3 is an option
(Burkeman Chapter 2 is required, not optional)

54. & a (short) story…

55. & a (short) story…
After doing the reading, complete the worksheet
Multiple sources of unhappiness
Be prepared to disclose one
You’ll have 20 seconds

56. Please note
This exercise can be daunting
Please plan accordingly
Please be on time

57. Other items…
Slides posted on my site
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm
Today’s 1:1s in B206 (the usual location)