This is a slide deck from my Spring 2021 section of The Art of Self-Coaching at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Course materials are archived at https://www.edbatista.com/the-art-of-self-coaching-course.html.

1. The art of
Photo by Seth Anderson [link]
self-coaching
Ed Batista
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS
Spring 2021

2. Welcome!
Photo by Judy van der Velden [link]

3. Beginnings
Photo by J Brooks [link]

4. “Lesser losses”

5. “Lesser losses”
Not what you expected in Fall 2019 (or 2020)
This course isn’t a solution (but it can help)
“This Quarter is what we make it.”
~Matt Madden, Class of 2020

6. Help me improve

7. Help me improve
You’ve done more virtual classes than I have
I’m still learning—I’ll need your feedback
If it’s essential, feel free to interrupt me
If it’s not, email me after class

8. Intro 25 mins
An exercise 20 mins
Coaching tools 10 mins
Partnership #1 20 mins
Logistics 5 mins
Outside of class 15 mins
Today’s agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

9. Who am I?
Executive coach

10. Who am I?
Executive coach (2020 was really, really intense)
A past life: LeadLabs, Fellows, Touchy Feely
GSB alum (Class of 2000)

11. Who am I?

12. Amy & Merlin

13. Buster

14. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time*
If anything else would be helpful, tell me.
Working
agreements

15. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

16. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

17. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

18. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements

19. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

20. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

21. Warm-up

22. Warm-up
Class prep: Sharpie or magic marker and a pad
Draw your spirit animal: You have 45 seconds

23. Warm-up
I’ll randomly assign you to breakout rooms
Discuss: Why is this my spirit animal?
3 minutes total, 1:30 per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway
Look for a 1 min countdown
Then I’ll see you back here

24. Why do that?

25. Why coaching
Started as a client
Changed my view of leadership
Impact on hundreds of students & clients
matters to me…

26. Why self-coaching
<1%
6 to 18 months
Help people help themselves
does, too

27. So what is
Guiding our own growth & development
Particularly during times of transition
Professional & personal domains
self-coaching?

28. Conceptual
frameworks
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]

29. Conceptual
Positive psychology
Neuroscience
Philosophy
However…
frameworks

30. No algorithms
Algorithm =
Unambiguous specifications to accomplish a task
Only heuristics

31. No algorithms
Heuristic =
Practical, imperfect approach to problem-solving
Only heuristics

32. No algorithms
The ART of self-coaching
The answer to most questions…
Only heuristics

33. It depends
Photo by Sutha Kamal [link]

34. Self-coaching is
Photo by Heinrich Böll-Stiftung [link]
SOCIAL

35. Self-coaching is
Class will be highly interactive
Pairs or small groups every class
Additional exercises outside of class
SOCIAL

36. Photo by Donnie Ray James [link]
Awkward?

37. Photo by Stephen Haas [link]
A nudge,
not a shove

38. An exercise
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39. Getting to know
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you

40. Again, you need a Sharpie & a pad
Getting to know
you

41. Write down 3 statements about yourself
Write LARGE & legibly
This will be SHARED
You have 1 minute
Getting to know
you
I am ___________
I am ___________
I am ___________

42. I will send you back to your breakout rooms
Discuss your sheets, 2 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Watch for the 60-second countdown
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

43. Welcome back!
Photo by Harry [link]

44. Consider all the choices you’ve been making
What did you write down? What did you say?
What did you think about writing down?
What did you think about saying?
Now reflect

45. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

46. Discuss your sheets, again
2 minutes per person, again
Push yourself to be a little more candid
One more time

47. Discuss your sheets, 2 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Watch for the 60-second countdown
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

48. Why do that?
Photo by Harry [link]

49. Joyful learning
Photo by Harry [link]

50. Joyful learning
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Stress  performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much diminishes learning

51. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning

52. Joyful learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

53. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress

54. Joyful learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Learn to avoid the tipping point

55. Coaching tools
Photo by zzpza [link]

56. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize

57. Coaching tools
Ask
Edgar Schein, MIT
Help doesn’t always help
What’s a better way to offer support?

58. Modes of inquiry
Photo by Garry Knight [link]

59. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
Open-ended
Avoid presumptive questions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

60. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
Focus & redirect
Feelings, motives, actions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

61. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
Challenge their narrative
Introduce new ideas & hypotheses
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

62. Modes of inquiry
1. Humble inquiry
2. Diagnostic inquiry
3. Confrontational inquiry
We tend to move too quickly
Critical to check our assumptions
Adapted from Edgar Schein [link]

63. Ask better
Photo by Alexander Drachman [link]
questions

64. Ask better
Get beyond Yes or No
What…? & How…? > Why…?
More reflection, less defensiveness
questions

65. Ask better
Avoid leading questions
Advocacy ≠ Coaching
questions

66. Ask better
A tip…
Ask one question & stop
questions

67. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen

68. Listening skills
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]

69. Listening skills
Hearing ≠ Listening
How they feel > What you hear

70. Listening skills
Focused attention > Time
Cultivate presence
Eye contact & body language
Eliminate distractions
No multi-tasking

71. Coaching tools
Ask, Listen, Empathize
Brené Brown, University of Houston

72. Empathy &
shame
Photo by Brandon Grasley [link]

73. Empathy &
Shame = I’m flawed & unworthy
Empathy = The antidote to shame
shame

74. Empathy &
Shame  Creates distance
Empathy  Creates closeness
shame

75. Empathy &
Seeking help typically triggers shame
(or embarrassment or vulnerability)
shame

76. Empathy &
But typical helping responses block empathy
1. “Look on the bright side”
2. “My problem’s worse!”
3. “Here’s some advice”
shame

77. Empathy &
Instead…
1. Avoid judgments
2. Sense & validate emotions
3. Convey understanding (≠ Agreement)
shame

78. For more tools…
Photo by zzpza [link]

79. For more tools…
Today’s optional readings
Course archive on my site (link on Canvas)

80. Photo by gop32000 [link]
Partners

81. 2 separate relationships
People you’ll work with all Quarter
I’ve randomly assigned both partners
Waitlisted students will be paired with each other
Partners

82. Issues you’re working on
Both Professional & Personal
Distill these lists down to 3 items each
Pre-work

83. Anxiety
Photo by xeubix [link]

84. A natural response
Want to make the most of this experience
High expectations, for yourself & for them
I have confidence in our collective commitment
Anxiety

85. Photo by Don-Pixel [link]
Partners, Part 1

86. With a Sharpie on a fresh sheet of paper
Partners, Part 1

87. Write down 3 Professional issues
Write LARGE & legibly
This will be SHARED
You have 2 minutes
Partners, Part 1
1) _____________
2) _____________
3) _____________

88. Discuss your sheets, 5 minutes per person
I’ll announce when it’s halfway (switch)
Watch for the 60-second countdown
Then I’ll see you back here
Instructions

89. Challenge
yourself
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
This time we’ll only go once
How might you be more candid?

90. Welcome back!
Photo by Singapore 2010 Youth Olympics [link]

91. Be sure to thank
your partner
Photo by Singapore 2010 Youth Olympics [link]

92. Photo by gop32000 [link]
Debrief

93. Photo by Sabri Yildiz [link]
Partners, Part 2

94. Repeat this exercise with your OTHER partner
Meet for 15 minutes (video, phone, IRL?)
BEFORE next week’s class
Partners, Part 2

95. Photo by Glyn Lowe [link]
Course logistics
Everything is on Canvas
Syllabus = Home page & PDF
All readings are PDFs or websites
Possible to bulk download all course files
Canvas issues? Contact

96. Course logistics
Any other issues? Contact me
Cell:
Email/text/phone
8am-6pm

97. Grading
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98. Grading
Attendance
Weekly assignments

99. Written work
Photo by Anonymous Collective [link]

100. Written work
Weekly assignments (600 words, maximum)
Assignments are late after Tues 9pm
Not accepted after Wed 5pm

101. Written work
The content is up to you*
*Look ahead to the upcoming class
Responses to course materials & experiences
No specific questions, prompts, requirements

102. Written work
4 grading criteria
Timely Submission
Depth of Personal Learning
Conceptual Rigor
Overall Quality

103. Introductory 1:1s

104. Introductory 1:1s
Appointments:
Optional (No impact on your grade)
April 3-4 and 10-11

105. For next time…
Photo by Earls37a [link]

106. Change
Photo by ezioman [link]

107. Change
Weekly assignment due Tuesday 9pm
Content is up to you but look ahead
All readings are on Canvas
If you drop, email me