These are the slides from a workshop I conducted for the Stanford GSB Class of 2017 One-Year Reunion, based on the work of Ernest Becker.

1. The art of (201)
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self-coaching
Ed Batista
May 5, 2018
@StanfordBiz

2. Today’s topics…
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3. Sex, fame, money
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& death

4. An exercise 15 mins
Sex 20 mins
Fame 20 mins
Money 20 mins
Death 5 mins
Agenda
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5. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
Agreements

6. Confidentiality
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7. Openness
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8. A pledge
Face your partner
I promise…
To keep our conversations confidential…
And to allow myself to be more open with you.

9. A pledge
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10. An exercise
You need a pen & a workbook
I’ll provide instructions for each step

11. Photo by Andrea [link]
Identity

12. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Identity: Step 1

13. Identity: Step 1
Complete Section A:
1. I am…
2. I am…
3. I am…
(2 minutes)

14. Photo by Heinrich Böll-Stiftung [link]
Identity: Step 2

15. Identity: Step 2
Discuss these identities with your partner
Share only what you want to share
You need not discuss all 3
(2 minutes each)

16. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Vulnerability

17. Vulnerability
Identities often evoke emotions
Fulfillment
Anxiety
Pride
Fear

18. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Vulnerability:
Step 1

19. Vulnerability:
Consider identities in Section A
What emotions do they evoke?
(Vocabulary on the back)
Step 1

20. Vulnerability:
Make some notes in Section B:
#1 makes me feel _____ because…
#2 makes me feel _____ because…
#3 makes me feel _____ because…
(2 minutes)
Step 1

21. Vulnerability:
Step 2
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22. Vulnerability:
Disclosing emotions feels vulnerable
The key to empathy & trust
Step 2

23. Vulnerability:
Step 2
Discuss 1 of these emotions with your partner
Share only what you want to share
But allow yourself to be open
(2 minutes each)

24. Preaching
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25. Photo courtesy Ernest Becker Foundation [link]
Ernest Becker
1924-1974
Liberated a Nazi camp
Anthropologist?
Philosopher?

26. The human
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paradox

27. The human
The essence of man is really his paradoxical
nature, the fact that he is half animal & half
symbolic.
~Ernest Becker
paradox

28. The human
He is a symbolic self, a creature with a name,
a life history, [but] his body aches & bleeds &
will decay & die. It is a terrifying dilemma.
~Ernest Becker
paradox

29. Terror
management
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30. Terror
This is the terror: To have a name, consciousness
of self, deep inner feelings, an excruciating inner
yearning for life & self-expression—& with all
this yet to die.
~Ernest Becker
management

31. Terror
The fear of death must be present behind all
our normal functioning, in order for the
organism to be armed toward self-preservation.
~Ernest Becker
management

32. Terror
But the fear of death cannot be present
constantly in one’s mental functioning, else the
organism could not function.
~Ernest Becker
management

33. Terror
The basic motivation for human behavior is
our biological need to control our basic
anxiety, to deny the terror of death.
~Sam Keen
management

34. Heroic projects
Photo by askii [link]

35. Heroic projects
The fear of [death] haunts the human animal
like nothing else. It is a mainspring of human
activity—activity designed largely to avoid the
fatality of death.
~Ernest Becker

36. Heroic projects
[Society is] a hero system that allows us to
believe that we transcend death by partici-
pating in something of lasting worth.
~Sam Keen

37. Intersections
Photo by Jacopo [link]

38. Intersections
Where our animal & symbolic selves intersect
Particularly powerful heroic projects
Today’s topics

39. Sex

40. Sex
Our animal self: Pleasure & reproduction
Our symbolic self: Family  immortality

41. Sex
Our sense of sexuality & attractiveness
The body as heroic project

42. My body
The inevitability of aging
The cults of “health” & “fitness”

43. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
My body: Step 1

44. My body: Step 1
Consider your body & its evolution over time
What emotions does this evoke?
Make some notes in Section C
(2 minutes)

45. My body: Step 2
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]

46. My body: Step 2
Discuss these emotions with your partner
Share only what you want to share
But allow yourself to be open
(4 minutes each)

47. Debrief
What did you learn?

48. Fame

49. Fame
To what purpose is all the toil and bustle of
this world? Is it to supply the necessities of
nature? The wages of the meanest laborer can
supply them. What then are the advantages of
that great purpose of human life which we call
bettering our condition?

50. Fame
To be observed, to be attended to, to be
taken notice of with sympathy are all the
advantages which we can propose to derive
from it. To feel that we are taken no notice
of disappoints the most ardent desires of
human nature. ~Adam Smith, 1759

51. Attention
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52. Attention
Our animal self: Attention  survival
Our symbolic self: Attention  immortality

53. Attention
Democratization of fame
Public persona as heroic project

54. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Attention: Step 1

55. Attention: Step 1
Consider what it feels like to attract attention
Consider what it feels like to be ignored
What emotions does this evoke?
Make some notes in Section D
(2 minutes)

56. Attention: Step 2
Photo by Ludovic Betron

57. Attention: Step 2
Discuss these emotions with your partner
Share only what you want to share
But allow yourself to be open
(4 minutes each)

58. Debrief
What did you learn?

59. Money

60. Money
What does money really buy?

61. Power?
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62. Freedom?
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63. Safety?
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64. Money
Defining feature of currency = fungibility
Our animal self and our symbolic self
Safety, freedom, power serve both
Wealth as heroic project

65. Photo by dotmatchbox [link]
Money: Step 1

66. Money: Step 1
Think about material wealth and its absence
What emotions does this evoke?
Make some notes in Section E
(2 minutes)

67. Money: Step 2

68. Money: Step 2
Discuss these emotions with your partner
Share only what you want to share
But allow yourself to be open
(4 minutes each)

69. Debrief
What did you learn?

70. Photo by Hitchster [link]
Death

71. Death
Pre-Enlightenment societies = heroic projects
Today we’re left to our own devices
Freedom isn’t free

72. Death
All our heroic projects are doomed to fail
They are also necessary for our sanity
This can make them dangerous

73. Death
How will you resolve the human paradox?
How will you manage your terror?
What are your heroic projects?
Who will you talk to?

74. Thank your
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partner

75. Thank you!
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@edbatista