8. Mrs. Wagner is a really smart woman. And she
has a great sense of humor.
Mrs. Wagner is a really smart woman, and she
has a great sense of humor.
Mrs. Wagner is a really smart woman who has a
great sense of humor.
9. I am dying for a new Xbox 360.
But we can’t afford one right
now. So I will have to wait.
FIX IT!!!
10. I am dying for a new Xbox 360, but
we can’t afford one right now, so I
will have to wait.
When you get that urge to start a
sentence with “and”, “but” or
“so”-RESIST!!!!
11. Do
• Include VIVID, DESCRIPTIVE examples!
• From mani/pedis at our favorite salon to shopping sprees at the
outlet mall, my aunt always finds a way to brighten up my day. I’ll
never forget when she showed up at my house in her ratty, old
slippers and Tweety Bird pajamas with a big container of
homemade chicken noodle soup. I had been coughing and running
a fever for three days, and despite the ten hour days that she
always worked, and the three kids that she was raising as a single
mom, she found time to bring me the soup that evening right
before she went to bed. When you’re grown, you miss being
pampered when you’re sick; you don’t expect to have anyone take
care of you. The fact that she went out of her way to make me feel
a little bit better is something that I will always appreciate.
12. Don’t
…say, “I hope you liked my essay” at the end.
…say, “I hope I have convinced you…” at the
end. TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO
DO! (Call to action)
13. Do
…show enthusiasm and passion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“It is your moral duty to help take care of the
earth; how could you live with yourself
knowing that you are contributing to the
destruction of our planet? Where will our
grandchildren and their grandchildren live if
we continue on our wasteful path of
selfishness? Do the right thing, make the only
ethical choice: recycle.”
14. Don’t
…BORE THE READER TO DEATH
“Recycling is important because it will save the
planet. It is also important because our
grandchildren will have to live here. I hope I
have convinced you that recycling is
important. Thank you for reading my essay.”
15. For persuasive writing use “fist
pounding” words:
• Critical
• Crucial
• Vital
• Absolutely
• Without a doubt
• Moral and ethical duty
• positively
16. AVOID “BE” VERBS
• Am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, have,
has, had, do, does, did
• We had to do the homework.
• We had to finish/complete/tackle the
homework.
17. Avoid “Fake” Verbs
• Get, getting, got, went, go
• We got a new puppy.
• We rescued/adopted/purchased a new puppy.
18. Avoid Boring Verbs
• Jump, walk, said, say, tell, yell, run
• We told the rumor to the whole school.
• We spread/repeated…
• He walked down the hall.
• Strolled/ventured/ambled/wandered/crept
19. Plural and Possessive “S”
• Three girls went to the mall.
• The girl’s boyfriend went to the mall.
• The three girls’ boyfriends went to the mall
with them.
• The dogs were barking.
• The dog’s owner was scooping its poop.
• The dogs’ owner was scooping their poop.