2. Contents
The Inverse Power of Praise
The Lost Hour
Why White Parents Don’t Talk About Race
Why Kids Lie
The Search for Intelligent Life in Kindergarten
The Sibling Effect
The Science of Teen Rebellion
Can Self-Control Be Taught
Plays Well With Others
Why Hannah Talks and Alyssa Doesn’t
4. 1969 – Nathaniel Braden
The Psychology of Self-Esteem
Self-Esteem the single most Criticism replaced with ubiquitous,
important facet of a person. even undeserved, praise.
6. Flawed
Research
15,000 studies between 1970 & 2000
Polluted with flawed science
Self-Reports
Perception
Only 200 passed standards
No link between Self-Esteem &
Improved Grades or Career
Achievement
7. Key Concept
Praise often labels innate intelligence or capabilities rather
than effort.
Students who come to believe that innate intelligence is
the key to success through praise for “being smart,” begin
to discount the importance of effort.
“I am smart” = “I don’t need to put out effort”
Thus, extending effort is public proof that you can’t cut it.
8. Nuggets
• Praise is still important and can be effective
• All praise is not equal – specific (feedback)
• By the age of 12, children believe that earning praise
from a teacher is not a sign you did well – it’s actually a
sign you lack ability and you need extra
encouragement.
• Teachers who praise children may be unwittingly
sending a message that the student reached a limit of
innate ability.
9. Critical!
• Correlations between liberal use of praise and
student’s “shorter task persistence, more eye checking
with the teacher, and inflected speech such that
answers have the intonation of questions.”
• Later in college, heavily praised students commonly
drop classes rather than suffer a mediocre grade and
they have a hard time picking a major – afraid to
commit because of fear of failure.
• Frequently praised children get more competitive and
more interested in tearing other down.
• Ignoring failure (another form of praise) - A child
deprived of the opportunity to discuss mistakes can’t
learn from them.
10. Cultural Difference
• This may be North American centric. Hong Kong vs.
Illinois comparative study.
• Other comparative studies have showed difference
across other national and cultural boundaries.
• But, the brain and behavioral science is actually proven
out through these cross-cultural studies because they
still support the evidence of praise and its implications.
11. Recommendations
• Nurture the ability to repeatedly respond to failure by
exerting more effort – Persistence
• It’s a “circuit” in the brain – intervenes when there ‘s a
lack of immediate reward.
• The alternative is a brain that has no patience for the
lack of immediate reward and quits when the rewards
disappear.
• “Praise Junkie” – the key is intermittent reinforcement
12. A Story of Recovering
Junkie
“Every night he has math homework and is supposed to
read a phonics book aloud. Each takes about 5 minutes if
he concentrates, but he’s easily distracted. So, I praise
him for concentration without asking to take a break. If
he listened to instructions carefully, I praise him for that.
After soccer games, I praise him for looking to pass,
rather than just saying, ‘You played great.’ And if he
worked hard to get the ball, I praised the effort he
applied.
13. A Story of Recovering
Junkie cont’d
“Truth be told, while my son was getting along fine under
the new praise regime, it was I who was suffering. It turns
out that I was the real praise junkie in the family. Praising
him for just a particular skill or task felt like I left other
parts of him ignored and unappreciated. I recognized that
praising him with the universal ‘You’re great – I’m proud
of you’ was a way I expressed unconditional love.”
14. “What happens to your brain, again, when it gets
to think about something hard?”
“It gets bigger, like a muscle.”