These slides contain a brief introduction to biblical courtship. But be warned. What you are about to see may sound archaic, outdated, old-fashioned, ancient and very technical. Much of what Pastor Chuck Brooks is going to share is from a culture that has gone extinct in the United States but, be assured, the principals of courtship are found in God’s timeless and Holy Word. In its day biblical courtship kept many boys and girls from being sexually active before the age of 18. It kept millions of teenagers from getting pregnant annually. It kept pregnancies from ending in abortion. It kept many of our young women from becoming the victims of “date-rape.” Let’s revisit Relationships 101 from the biblical text.
2. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
1.) Dating is in direct contradiction to
the Scriptures, that admonish us to
"flee youthful lusts" and to "flee
fornication." (Eph 4:22; 2 Tim 2:22;
1Cor 6:18)
3. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
2.) Dating ignores the
biological facts of human
sexuality.
At the end of the marriage ceremony the preacher
says, “You may now kiss the bride!” This statement
seems to assume that the groom has never kissed
the woman before that day.
4. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
3.) Dating tends to abuse and
misuse what doesn’t belong to
you.
The baggage remaining from painful
dating must be dealt with by the person
who takes your leftovers as their wife or
husband.
5. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
4.) Dating is the starting place
for destroying relationships
There is no commitment by either party
to continue beyond the first date.
6. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
5.) Dating becomes a preparation for
handling divorce, not a preparation
for building a permanent marriage.
Dating gets one used to the idea of rejecting
and being rejected in the search for the perfect
relationship.
7. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
6.) Dating builds insecurity
into relationships.
Imagine a marriage without scars of
rejection to overcome because you have
been hurt earlier by partners who were
unfaithful.
8. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
7.) Dating prevents the
building of friendships
When you date there is the
selectiveness of romantic, sexual
relationships that prevent the building of
friendships.
11. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
• Courtship is not “going out in groups”
or “double-dating.”
• Courting is not what “Christian”
teenagers do instead of dating.
• Courting is what a man and woman
do in preparation for marriage.
13. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
The problem with our culture is not
merely sexual immorality, it is also
sexual irresponsibility. The Bible
teaches there is to be no escape from
responsibility. The teenage years were
to be years of preparation for
responsibility, not for irresponsibility.
14. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
• It is not casual dating; it is a relationship
with a view to marriage.
• It has a lot to do with manners; there is
an appropriate way to behave.
• It also has to do civility, i.e., with law.
• It involved following appropriate
procedures.
• It involves a "court".
16. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
Webster’s Dictionary speaks of a
synonym for courting - being a
suitor.
A man is filing his suit; he is
declaring the justice of his claim
for the hand of a woman.
18. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
The Bible is clear that the
daughter’s father is to be heavily
involved in this matter.
It is the role of a father to give
away what is his own, even as
God the Father brought Eve to
Adam.
19. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
They will be perpetually influenced
by their in-laws, aunts, and uncles.
These relatives will be giving the
new family suggestions,
recommendations, and advice.
20. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
When you spend considerable
time in the company of your
intended’s family you will learn
many things about that person.
Practically speaking, one can’t
“front” in the presence of their kid
brother or sister.
21. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
The father and the son worked along
side each other in the family
business. The son served as an
apprentice and would be his father’s
“disciple.” Scripture teaches that a
son is to work cooperatively under his
father's leadership in the courting of a
spouse.
22. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
Men are the initiators. If he is
really interested in you he will
pursue you. Jesus pursued His
bride, the church. He left the
glory of heaven and went
through ridicule and torture—
even death—as proof that He
loved us.
23. Relationships 101
Courtship and Marriage
There will be a tendency to
rush ahead of the Lord to
find a mate. Don’t do it!!
Wait for God’s choice.
