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Pixel Perfect: Strategies for Overcoming Perfectionism

We work, live, and play with perfectionists. Yet, we do not know what really makes them tick. In this presentation, you will learn how to overcome the different barriers produced by perfectionists and coping strategies for dealing with them.

I work with alot of web designers, who continually talk about pixel perfect designs and bulletproof work. The presentation is based upon the works of Donna Hicks and Brene Brown. It was given as a workshop at SxSW 2015 by Brian Sullivan and J. Schuh.

Pixel Perfect: Strategies for Overcoming Perfectionism

  1. Pixel Perfect: Strategies for Overcoming Design Perfectionism
  2. 12 June 1964: Robben Island
  3. Mandela is Told He Will Die There
  4. View of the Prison Yard
  5. Prisoners are Shamed Daily
  6. Guards Try To Rob Your Dignity
  7. Within 20 Minutes, He Felt Good! “I was relieved. Nobody has the power to take away my dignity.”
  8. Why Perfectionism?
  9. Brian Sullivan. Hi, my name is @BrianKSullivan @bigdesign #perfect
  10. Research and Testing Expert The Director of User Testing and Research at Tonic 3, a division of W3.
  11. International Speaker
  12. Writer of Books and Articles
  13. Conference Organizer
  14. Creative with Many Talents
  15. Industry Speaker
  16. Conference Organizer
  17. “Perfectionism Kills Productivity” Re-tweeted over 5,000 times when it was mentioned at my SxSW 2013 talk.
  18. We Talked about Design Phrases
  19. We Talked about People We Know
  20. We Talked about Unicorns
  21. We Talked about Behaviors Contrary to popular belief, Photoshop does not solve everything!
  22. A Previous Student Sends An Email J. Schuh has taught at Collin College for over 15 years.
  23. He Decides to Open Up Dear Mr. Schuh – I need your advice. For the past 4 years, I’ve tried to be a designer, but I keep getting fired. I find it impossible to meet deadlines, as I agonize over every pixel. My co-workers think I am slow. I think they are sloppy. I can’t hold down a job. I try to be creative, but I never finish anything. To me, my designs are never finished. I desperately need your advice. What should I do?
  24. We Read Eight Books
  25. Types of Perfectionism
  26. Exercise #1: Perfectionist Quiz
  27. per•fec•tion•ism (pərˈfɛk ʃəˌnɪz əm) noun 1. a belief that religious, moral, social, artistic, or political perfection is attainable. 2. a personal standard or attitude that demands perfection and rejects anything less. Simple Definition
  28. Psychologist View of Perfectionism “Perfectionism is the desire to be faultless, a fear of imperfection, equating errors as personal defects, and viewing perfection as the only route to personal acceptance.” --T.S. Greenspon, 2008.
  29. (Unhealthy) (Healthy) Maladaptive Adaptive
  30. (Unhealthy) (Healthy) Maladaptive Adaptive
  31. (Unhealthy) (Healthy) Maladaptive Adaptive
  32. Exercise #2: Persona Note-taking Adam the Adaptive: 1. _______________________ 2. _______________________ 3. _______________________ 4. _______________________ 5. _______________________ Personal Motto: __________________________ __________________________ __________________________
  33. • Satisfied with achievements made from intense effort. • Tolerate imperfections without harsh self-criticism. • Enjoy collaboration and cooperation. • Value self-esteem and life satisfaction. • Regulate and adjust their emotions. • Manage their interpersonal relationships. • Develop a social support system. • Perform active coping when needed • View relationships seriously. • Watch their procrastination tendencies. Adaptive Perfectionists
  34. Adaptive Perfectionist Motto…
  35. Exercise #3: Persona Note-taking Mary the Maladaptive: 1. _______________________ 2. _______________________ 3. _______________________ 4. _______________________ 5. _______________________ Personal Motto: __________________________ __________________________ __________________________
  36. • Unattainable personal performance standards. • Extremely self-critical in self-evaluations. • Approach their relationships aggressively. • Lack self-awareness in social situations. • View their environments as competitive. • Feel a need to control their environment. • Very passive-aggressive in certain situations. • Enjoy defining policies, structures, and rules. • Despise gray areas and prefer binary thinking. • Notorious procrastinators. Maladaptive Perfectionists
  37. Maladaptive Perfectionist Motto…
  38. Profiles in Perfectionism Picasso = Adaptive Da Vinci = Maladaptive
  39. 13,000 Pages of Sketches
  40. Two Masterpieces
  41. Da Vinci Only Finished 30 Pieces Da Vinci = Maladaptive
  42. Picasso was Prolific Picasso = Adaptive • Traditional • Blue Period • Rose Period • African-Influenced • Cubism • Neo-Classicalism • Surrealism
  43. 10 of Top 50 Paintings Sold at Auction
  44. Both Types Can Do Great Work Picasso = Adaptive Da Vinci = Maladaptive
  45. Maladaptives Struggle More…
  46. Maladaptives Can Shut Down Remember the student, who shut down. Da Vinci did at the end, too.
  47. ContrastCompare and
  48. Adaptive Characteristics: 1. ________________________ 2. ________________________ 3. ________________________ 4. ________________________ 5. ________________________ 6. ________________________ 7. ________________________ 8. ________________________ 9. ________________________ Maladaptive Characteristics: 1. ________________________ 2. ________________________ 3. ________________________ 4. ________________________ 5. ________________________ 6. ________________________ 7. ________________________ 8. ________________________ 9. ________________________ Exercise #4: Comparison Sheet
  49. Adaptive Maladaptive Journey is a straight line.Journey is an irregular spiral.
  50. Adaptive Maladaptive Fault Finder.Benefit Finder.
  51. Adaptive Maladaptive Feedback is failure.Failure is feedback. F = Feedback F = Failure
  52. Adaptive Maladaptive Enjoy destination only.Enjoy destination & journey.
  53. Adaptive Maladaptive All or Nothing Thinking.Complex, Nuanced Thinking.
  54. Adaptive Maladaptive Defensive.Open to Suggestions.
  55. Adaptive Maladaptive Harsh.Forgiving.
  56. Adaptive Maladaptive Imperfections = Curses.Imperfections = Gifts.
  57. Adaptive Maladaptive Very, Very Rigid.Flexible and Adaptable. I love it when a plan comes together (especially mine). Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, Plan D
  58. Attitude is the difference between an Ordeal and an Adventure.
  60. Embarrassment, Humiliation, Guilt, and Shame (not the same thing)
  61. • Shame ≠ Guilt • Shame ≠ Embarrassment • Shame ≠ Humiliation • Embarrassment ≠ Guilt • Embarrassment ≠ Humiliation • Embarrassment ≠ Shame Some Words are Not Synonyms • Humiliation ≠ Embarrassment • Humiliation ≠ Guilt • Humiliation ≠ Shame • Guilt ≠ Embarrassment • Guilt ≠ Shame • Guilt ≠ Humiliation
  62. Embarrassment “Embarrassment is something that is fleeting, often eventually funny and very normal.” -- Dr. Brene Brown (Shame Researcher)
  63. Example of Design Embarrassment FOLD
  64. Know the Nuance: Embarrassment “A bad thing happened to me. It happens to everyone. It will be over soon.”
  65. Humiliation The act of mortifying a person to cause a painful loss of pride, self-respect, or dignity.
  66. Examples of Design Humiliation A usability test can be humiliating for customers and the designers.
  67. Know the Nuance: Humiliation “I deserve to be treated badly by these folks. I’m different. There’s something wrong with me.”
  68. Guilt Guilt is a feeling that you have consciously done something wrong, broken a law, or let someone down. You have committed a wrongful act.
  69. Examples of Design Guilt You knowingly use a dark pattern to entice a person to purchase the wrong option. In this example, the bundled option looks best by using the dark pattern called the second-best first option.
  70. Examples of Design Guilt
  71. Examples of Design Guilt You wanted this simple, beautiful design. But, your client wanted this ugly design.
  72. Know the Nuance: Guilt “I have done something bad. I got caught. I need to pay for my action. I can correct it.”
  73. Shame Shame is an emotion in which someone sees their “self” as defective, unacceptable, or fundamentally damaged. Shame is most often felt by victims of trauma—911 and Holocaust survivors.
  74. Perfectionists Feel Shame
  75. Critiques Feel Like Character Attacks
  76. Know the Nuance: Shame “I am a bad person. There is something wrong with me. This thing proves it.”
  77. Know the Nuances Shame: “I am a bad person.” Guilt: “I did a bad thing.” Embarrassment: “A bad thing happened.” Humiliation: “I deserved it to happen.”
  78. Perfectionism = Shame “Perfectionism is a form of shame. Where we struggle with perfectionism, we struggle with shame.” -- Dr. Brene Brown (Shame Researcher)
  79. Resistance Versus Resilience (Unhealthy) (Healthy) Maladaptive Adaptive Shame Resistance Shame Resilience
  80. Heart of Perfectionism
  81. It is NOT about RESISTANCE It is about RESILIENCE
  82. Shame-Based Barriers of Perfectionism 1. Foreboding Joy 2. Procrastination 3. Sarcasm 4. Numbing 5. Viking-or-Victim 6. Smash and Grab 7. Zigzagging
  83. Energy is contagious, positive and negative alike.
  85. Barrier of Foreboding Joy
  86. Barrier of Foreboding Joy
  87. Barrier of Foreboding Joy
  88. Ellis Island (1890-1922)
  89. 20 Million Immigrants
  90. 1 Million More than State of Florida
  91. Lined Up for Health Inspections
  92. Different Immigration Cards
  93. They Came to America with a Dream
  94. They Lived in Tenements
  95. They Formed Communities
  96. They Worked in Sweatshops
  97. They Slept and Dreamed
  98. Upstairs, Someone Dropped a Shoe
  99. Barrier of Foreboding Joy Foreboding joy is the fear of having your joy taken away.
  100. Imagine if you found no joy in your Journey
  101. Don’t Fully Enjoy a First Kiss
  102. No Joy in Increased Sales
  103. Don’t Enjoy Fully Milestones
  104. Joy Can Be Terrifying “The most terrifying emotion we experience as humans is joy.” -- Dr. Brene Brown
  105. Pixelate Perfect Moments of Joy
  106. They Don’t Fully Enjoy Life
  107. Perfectionists Despise Vulnerability
  108. They Dress Rehearse Tragedy
  109. Customers Line Up
  110. Product Team is Stoked!
  111. Sales Go Through the Roof
  112. Something Must Be Wrong
  113. THERE is no joy in my Journey
  114. Exercise #5: Scenario You have hired a new designer, who fits in with the rest of the designers and the product team loves their design. Your perfectionist boss is experiencing foreboding joy with the new hire. 1. How do you handle things with your boss? 2. How do you handle things with the new hire?
  115. The Antidote to Foreboding Joy is…
  116. Gratitude: Enjoy the Journey
  117. Express Gratitude at a New Launch
  118. Express Gratitude at End of a Sprint
  119. Gratitude is the Best Attitude Make daily deposits of gratitude into people’s emotional bank accounts.
  120. Positive Comment Positive Comment Critical Remark Critical Remark 1-2-1 Critique: Gratitude Sandwich
  121. Critiques = Additive, Not Competitive In the early days, Pixar writers experienced the foreboding joy of story critiques by: • John Lasseter • Andrew Stanton • Brad Bird These meetings are done with honesty and candor.
  122. An Original, Boring Ending The original ending had Wall-E saving EVE from a trash compactor.
  123. The Updated, Heartfelt Ending Wall-E is badly damaged saving the human race. EVE repairs Wall-E.
  124. Barrier of Procrastination
  125. It is a small island in Denmark. Shakespeare used as his setting for Hamlet. Zealand Island
  126. Prince Hamlet suspects his uncle killed his father. He delays seeking the truth. Elsinore Castle
  127. Act 1: Ghost of Hamlet’s father tells him to revenge his murder. Hamlet delays. Hamlet Sees Ghost of Dead Father
  128. Act 2, Scene 2: Hamlet has chance to kill Claudius. He delays… Perfect Opportunity, First Delay
  129. Act 3, Scene 1: Hamlet talks to a dead friend, Yorrick. He delays, again. To Be or Not To Be?
  130. Tries to Publicly Humiliate His Uncle Act 3, Scene 3: Hamlet performs a play within the play. He delays, again.
  131. Hamlet Still Has Bloody Thoughts Act 4: Hamlet does not understand soldiers who fight in foreign lands. When the soldier leaves, Hamlet says how own thoughts are bloody. Hamlet still delays.
  132. Act 5, Scene 5: Bloodbath
  133. “There’s Something Rotten in Denmark.” It is called procrastination. In “Hamlet”, his delay leads to a wasted life.
  134. Purpose of Procrastination “The purpose of procrastination is to protect us from the failure, success, or change we are terrified of, and it fulfills that purpose when we lose all hope and stop trying. It is fear-based.” -- Hilary Rettig (2011)
  135. Source: http://20px.com/
  136. Source: http://20px.com/
  137. Need to Break the Endless Cycle
  138. You are working with a seasoned designer, who prides herself on doing pixel perfect designs. In the office, she is infamous for procrastinating. 1. Discuss project management solutions. 2. What advice would you give a procrastinator? Exercise #6: Scenario
  139. Practice Effective Time Management
  140. Proudly Show Early Design Concepts
  141. Timebox Your Tasks
  142. Test Early, Test Often
  143. Establish a Daily Routine Home Work Other Shop/Gym Dinner Reading/TV Sleeping WorkBreakfastGetting Ready Drive Time
  144. Create Routines Within the Routine • 09:00 AM: Answer emails and phone calls • 10:00 AM: Morning meetings • 11:00 AM: Work on projects (one hour) • 11:30 AM: Lunch • 12:30 PM: Work on projects (two hours) • 02:30 PM: Afternoon meeting (or work on projects) • 04:15 PM: Pick up child from school Short Drive Time (estimated 5-10 minutes): • Make phone call (using Bluetooth) • Listen to podcast on design or usability • Meditate after a stressful day • Practice a presentation (for work or conference) • Make a mental checklist of things to do
  145. Set Realistic Targets
  146. Use Positive Self-Talk 65,000 thoughts/day. 65% are negative, roughly 42,000.
  147. Imagination is the enemy of motivation. Don’t Fantasize about Desired Results
  148. Plan for Obstacles List possible obstacles for completing an assignment, including procrastination habits. Develop counter-measures.
  149. Reward Your Progress Set up a reward system for positive reinforcement. Similarly, arrange small punishments for failures.
  150. Putting It Off or Getting It Done? “Putting it off does not make it go away. Getting it done does.” — Ned Hallowell, Driven to Distraction
  151. Break Large Tasks Into Smaller Units Small chunks helps you see progress and builds momentum.
  152. Fate or Destiny? “Fate is what befalls a man who fails to act. Destiny is for men who refuse to accept failure, as their fate.” — Lamar Wyatt (ABC’s Nashville)
  154. Barrier of Sarcasm
  155. No Man is an Island
  156. Poem by John Donne
  157. Theme: Being Connected to Others
  158. Simple Definition of Sarcasm sar•cas•m (sahr-kaz-uh m) noun 1. the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say in order to insult someone, to show irritation, or to be funny. 2. Greek (literal definition)…to render someone’s flesh (with a caustic remark).
  159. Sarcasm ≠ Verbal Irony In Seattle, a weatherman told viewers the forecast shows “sunny days ahead.”
  160. Sarcasm ≠ Irony of Fate An irony of fate is history’s greatest composer (Beethoven) went deaf.
  161. Sarcasm ≠ Situational Irony These two signs were right next to each other at a bus stop in Chicago. Want to learn about great deals, ask the bus driver. Don’t talk to the bus driver.
  162. Sarcasm ≠ Dramatic Irony The audience knows Juliet is about to wake up, but Romeo does not.
  163. Sarcasm = Lowest Form of Wit “Sarcasm’s insincerity offers a level of protection. At its most innocuous, it doesn’t hurt anyone and distances the speaker. When you say the opposite of what you mean, you don’t have to own it. You’ve got someplace to hide. You get attention, a laugh, and the upper hand — without having to stick your neck out.” -- Dr. Jennifer Taitz
  164. Social Media and Sarcasm Fact: #yeahright was used 2,500+ times in one hour. #winning #sarcasm #snicker #yeahright #fail
  165. Body Language Can Be Sarcastic You can be sarcastic with your body language, too. Let’s assume this guy said, “I will get right on that.” Do you believe any of these faces?
  166. Secret Service: Social Media Sarcasm In June 2014, Secret Services opened bids for software to detect sarcasm on social media as part of the Department of Homeland Security.
  167. Imagine our five perfectionists using sarcasm everyday on your team. Exercise #7: Scenario During a design critique, two co-workers decide to make several sarcastic remarks. You do not know if you should follow their suggestions. Some of their comments seemed like personal acts. You left the room angry. 1. What do you say to the sarcastic person? 2. Do you talk to your manager about it? 3. What if your manager is the sarcastic person?
  168. Antidote is to Limit Sarcasm Create a “Sarcasm Free Zone” at work. You want open collaboration.
  169. Use Sarcasm Like a Strong Spice It is best to use sarcasm with close friends, who understand the humor. Sarcasm is like a spice. Use it sparingly. • Too much, the dish is overwhelmed. • An occasional dash, the dish is spiced up. • A steady serving, the dish is ruined.
  170. Sarcasm Can Be a Form of Bullying Perfectionists use sarcasm to disguise their hostility. Psychologists see sarcasm as a very subtle form of bullying. Most bullies are angry, insecure, and frustrated (like perfectionists).
  171. Pixar Uses Candor, Not Honesty Ed Catmull devotes an entire chapter to the importance of candor. “A hallmark of a healthy creative culture is that its people feel free to share ideas, opinions, and criticisms. Lack of candor, if unchecked, ultimately leads to dysfunctional environments.”
  172. Respect is the Antidote to Sarcasm Ways to create a culture of respect: 1. Do not gossip, especially with envious people. 2. Be intentional in your communication. 3. Appreciate diverse opinions. 4. Be a bridge builder to promote teamwork. 5. Create a culture directed at competitors. 6. Do not acknowledge sarcastic remarks. 7. Promote ownership, so people’s voices matter.
  173. Stop Sarcasm, Start with Empathy Designers talk of empathy maps. How about living with empathy?
  174. Take Your Shoes Off, Then Wear Mine Before walking in another person’s shoes, you have to take your shoes off. Walk a mile in my shoes. See what I see. Hear what I hear. Feel what I feel. Then, maybe, you’ll understand why I do what I do. Until then, don’t judge me.
  175. Ask for an Explanation If you hear a sarcastic remark, respectfully ask for clarification.
  176. Examine Sarcasm Triggers Some people are only sarcastic in specific situations. Examine the triggers.
  177. Make Conversations Meaningful Your statements should be these three things: 1. True 2. Meaningful 3. Necessary Sarcasm never meets all three of these categories.
  178. Do Not Combat with Humiliation Humiliation is closely tied to shame, which is a severe issue with perfectionists. Be respectful and ask for clarification from the person. If someone says a sarcastic remark about you, do not resort to humiliation. It is so tempting.
  179. Diffuse Sarcasm By Agreeing Sarcastic Remark: “Snails move faster than you.” Your Response: “Yes, they do. They are fast little buggers.” When you receive a sarcastic remark, agree with them.
  180. Announce Your Sarcasm Sarcastic Remark: “I just thought of something sarcastic: ‘Snails move fast than you.’ I am totally joking.” Diffuse your own sarcasm by announcing it.
  182. Barrier of Numbing
  183. Odysseus Visited Many Lands Of the ancient heroes, only Hercules may have traveled more than Odysseus.
  184. Island of Calypso (Oggygia) In Homer’s The Odyssey, Calypso keeps Odysseus prisoner for 7 years.
  185. Caves of Calypso When Calypso sings, Odysseus forgets about his beloved wife, Penelope.
  186. Hermes Tells Calypso to Release Him Odysseus is enamored with Calypso. He is numb to all other things.
  187. Calypso Sets Him Free Calypso fell in love with Odysseus. She eventually sets free our numb hero.
  188. Crazy-Busy or Numbing? “We are culture of people who’ve bought into the idea that if stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won’t catch up to us. One of the most universal numbing strategies is what I call crazy-busy.” -- Dr. Brene Brown
  189. We Numb Ourselves in Debt U.S. household consumer debt profile: • Average credit card debt: $15,611 • Average mortgage debt: $155,192 • Average student loan debt: $32,264
  190. We Numb Ourselves with Food • 66% of adults are overweight or obese • 35% of children struggle with obesity • By 2030, 51% of the US population may be obese • 20 years ago, no state had an obesity rate above 15% • Today 41 states have obesity rates over 25% • Since 1980, the obesity rate in teens has tripled. • 72% of older men and 67% of older women are now overweight or obese
  191. We Drink to Numb Ourselves In 2014, American recycled enough aluminum cans to rebuild the entire fleet of US commercial aircrafts… twice. And, this only accounts for what consumers recycled. Source: American Beverage Association
  192. Perfectionists Numb in Other Ways
  193. Why Numbing Actually Hurts You? “When you numb yourself, you try to not feel vulnerability. It is especially debilitating because it does not just deaden the pain of our difficult experiences; it deadens all of them—love, joy, creativity, and belonging. We cannot selectively numb an emotion. When you numb the dark, you numb the light.” -- Dr. Brene Brown
  194. Numbing ≠ Addiction
  195. It is NOT about RESISTANCE It is about RESILIENCE
  196. Your manager uses different numbing methods during times of peak stress, such as before a major release or executive presentation. They drink, swear, work long hours, and smoke. They seem to promote people with same behaviors. 1. How would you handle this situation? 2. What coping strategies do you use for stress? Exercise #8: Scenario
  197. Antidote = Setting Boundaries Each person is different. Identify numbing behaviors and set boundaries.
  198. Use Positive Coping Strategies Walking, going outdoors, or cooking a meal can be very positive ways to cope.
  199. Plan for Breaks Crazy-busy? It is a choice. Plan for breaks and vacations.
  200. Manage Anxiety, Don’t Numb It
  201. Ask for Help ≠ Weakness Crazy-busy? Ask for help or delegate.
  202. A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
  204. Victim or Viking Mentality
  205. In DC comics, Paradise Island (Themyscira) is the home of the Amazon race. Paradise Island
  206. Home of Wonder Woman In this comic, Wonder Woman is a warrior, hero, strategist, and spy.
  207. Amazons Resemble Vikings According to myth, Hercules and Theseus would have encounters with the Amazons. With each encounter, the Amazons would march to war.
  208. Perfectionists: Victim or Viking? “Either you are a Victim in life –a sucker or a loser who’s always being taken advantage of or can’t hold their own –or you’re a Viking – someone who sees the threat of being victimized as a constant, so you stay in control, you dominate, you exert your power over things, and you never show vulnerability.” -- Dr. Brene Brown
  209. Victim or a Viking? Perfectionists do not like to show vulnerability, so they may adapt a persona.
  210. Viking Characteristics • Exerts power of perceived threats. • Stays in control. • Tries to dominate. • Never shows vulnerability. • Ruthlessly attacks enemies. • Uses any weapon available: - Gossip - Schedule - Email - Deadlines - Meetings - Departmental Policies - Assignments
  211. Victim Characteristics • Constantly loses at home and work. • Taken advantage of by people. • Always loses, never wins. • Whines about everything. • Uses any tactic available: - Excuses - Rationalization - Justification • - Blame - Lying - Finger pointing - No instructions
  212. Using Vulnerability ≠ Being Vulnerable Viking = Invulnerable Victim = Helpless
  213. Victim or Viking: Scary Thinking “When we lead, teach, or preach from a gospel of Viking or Victim, win or lose, we crush faith, innovation, creativity, and adaptability to change.” -- Dr. Brene Brown
  214. A project manager does anything to get his way. People are either threatening or non-threatening to him. When he feels threatened, the project manager plays very dirty office politics including getting people written up and fired. 1. How do you handle this person? 2. Do ignore the behavior altogether? Exercise #9: Viking Scenario
  215. A co-worker continually whines about how things are unfair with work assignments. He constantly gets other people to his work. They “work” from home, but nobody believes him. This person says that he feels helpless. 1. How do you handle this person? 2. Do ignore the behavior altogether? Exercise #10: Victim Scenario
  216. Antidote = Relationship Building Cultivate trust and commitment to counter Viking-Victim mentality.
  217. Build an Emotional Bank Account An emotional bank account is a metaphor for improving and maintaining scorecards with your relationships. The account begins with a neutral balance. You make deposits and withdrawals based on your interactions with people.
  218. Sometimes, It is Full
  219. Sometimes, It is Injured
  220. Sometimes, It is on Empty
  221. Sadly, It Can Be Broken
  222. Broken Banks Can Be Repaired
  223. Mostly, It Grows and Shrinks
  224. And, You Manage Multiple Banks
  225. 20,000 Daily Interactions
  226. The Golden Ratio is 5:1 Healthy relationships strive for 5 positive interactions to each 1 negative one.
  227. Deposit = Listening with Empathy Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply. -- Stephen Covey
  228. Deposit = Keeping Commitments Showing up to work on time, meeting your deadlines, attending meetings, doing what you say, and fulfilling obligations are regular deposits you make.
  229. Deposit = Fighting with Respect Every working relationship will have arguments and disagreements. When you do, always keep your communication respectful.
  230. Deposit = Remember Little Things All the little things count and they are the building blocks of our daily lives. Remembering a birthday, getting coffee, or a smile adds up.
  231. Apologize for Withdrawals When you make a mistake, apologize immediately. It’s a learning experience. Keep your account in the positive, which you have worked hard to create.
  232. Antidote for Ideas: Story Building At Pixar, Ed Catmull explains that originality is very fragile: “In its first form, the films are far from pretty. We call them ‘ugly babies.’ They need nurturing—in the form of time and patience—in order to grow.” Pixar usually gives 2-3 years to turn an “ugly baby” into a film.
  233. The Beast and The Baby With ideas, you can develop a Viking-or-Victim mentality, too. After the success of Toy Story 2, the Pixar team was exhausted. It took nearly five years to create Monsters, Inc. Pixar wanted to feed the beast, produce another sequel. Yet, the creatives wanted to protect the ugly babies.
  234. Balancing The Beast and Ugly Babies For Pixar, their Brain Trust (John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Brad Bird) balances the Hungry Beast and the Ugly Babies.
  235. Design Studios: UX Ugly Baby Solution For UX Designers, the Design Studio method provides us with a great mechanism to protect ugly babies..
  237. Barrier of Smash and Grab
  238. Easter Island
  239. Known for Its Rock Statues
  240. Two Mysteries Solved For many years, historians tried to determine two things about Easter Island: 1. How were the statues created there? 2. Where did all of the people go? Both mysteries got solved a few years ago.
  241. Statues Were Pushed Up Local inhabitants used stones, wood, and brute force to push the statues up.
  242. Massive Deforestation Led to Collapse The tribe on Easter Island was over 10,000 people during its height. When Captain Cook landed, it was reduced to about 100 people. It was avoidable.
  243. Smash and Grab = Manipulation Tool “The smash and grab occurs when someone smashes through people’s social boundaries with intimate information, then grab whatever attention and energy you can get your hands on…in our social media world, it’s increasingly difficult to determine what’s a real attempt to connect and what’s performance.” -- Dr. Brene Brown
  244. Helicopter Story of Brian Williams Brian Williams was suspended from NBC for six months for smashing-and-grabbing headlines about riding with Seal Team Six when their helicopter was under fire.
  245. Gossiping is Smash-and-Grab Gossiping is a smash-and-grab. Someone gossips to draw negative attention towards one of their rivals. Conversely, they start a rumor to draw attention to their self.
  246. Seven Types of Social Sharing 90% of social sharing is about sharing relevant information with your connections. 10% of social sharing is a form of smash-and-grab (showing off, getting a reaction).
  247. Smash and Grab = Manipulation Tool “With smash and grab, perfectionists use vulnerability to connect with people. It is a way to fast-forward intimacy.” -- Dr. Brene Brown
  248. You have worked for two years designing a new product. A marketing person is assigned one week before the release. Several people share details about the last two years. She uses this information to take credit for the past two years. 1. How do you handle this situation? 2. What other smash-and-grabs have you seen? Exercise #11: Scenario
  249. Antidote = Understand the Intention Protect yourself and others. Understand the reason(s) you might be hearing this information. Is it a smash and grab? Is there a legitimate business reason?
  250. Tell Your Story to People Who Earn It You do not want to share information with people, who have not earned it. They will misunderstand you.
  251. Don’t Share Fresh Wounds Publicly Allow for cooling off periods before sharing information with people. An unhealthy perfectionist will use it against you.
  252. A Simple Checklist  What need is driving this behavior?  What outcome do I want?  Does it align with my values?  Is this sharing in the service of connection?  Am I genuinely asking people for what I need? Since design is very collaborative, it is easy to mistake need for intimacy. For some reasons, artists and designers crave intimacy and attention.
  253. If the words don’t add up, it’s usually because the truth wasn’t included in the equation.
  255. Barrier of Zigzagging
  256. Ship-Trap Island Setting for the short story called “The Most Dangerous Game”
  257. Rainsford Battles General Zaroff Our hero runs for his life, zigzagging over Ship-Trap Island.
  258. Dodges Traps Before Final Showdown Rainsford narrowly escapes 10 different traps before finally killing Zaroff.
  259. Zigzagging = Avoiding In some cases, perfectionists want to avoid conflict. So, they delay a potential confrontation for a long time.
  260. Zigzagging = Disengaging In some cases, perfectionists want to disengage from work and people. They duck, dodge, and de-prioritize tasks. They major in the minors!
  261. Zigzagging ≠ Procrastination Unlike procrastination, zigzagging is actually doing work-related activities. Procrastination is finding other things to do (laundry, watch a movie, sleep).
  262. Similar to Maslow’s Jonah Complex Maslow states, "So often we run away from the responsibilities dictated by nature, by fate, or by accident, just as Jonah tried—in vain—to run away from his fate."
  263. Postpone a Hard Meeting Perfectionist Meeting Has Been Postponed to Next Week
  264. Clean Your Desk, Again and Again You are zigzagging when you clean your desk rather than finishing a project.
  265. Waiting for the Perfect Moment You go through multiple scenarios and seem to freeze up.
  266. “We fear our highest (and lowest) possibilities. We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments, under the most perfect conditions, under conditions of great courage. We enjoy and thrill to the godlike possibilities we see in ourselves in such peak moments. Yet, we simultaneously shiver with weakness, awe, and fear before these very same possibilities.” -- Abraham Maslow
  267. You know you should have a difficult discussion with another designer. You notice you have been avoiding this confrontation. You find other work to do, but you know the problem will only get worse. You zigzag constantly. 1. How do you stop zigzagging? 2. How do you handle difficult conversations? Exercise #12: Scenario
  268. Knowledge is in the End Based on Acknowledgement
  269. Antidote = Name Your Fear • Fear of the Unknown • Fear of Change • Fear of Sudden Pain • Fear of Failure • Fear of Losing Control • Fear of the Spotlight • Fear of New Ideas • Fear of the Future • Fear of Your Identity • Fear of Standing Out • Fear of Being Ridiculed • Fear of Responsibility • Fear of Massive Success • Fear of Being Exposed • Fear of New People • Fear of New Technology “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” -Elbert Hubbard
  270. Next Step is to Take Action In the US Army, Captains tell their soldiers to shoot, move, and communicate.
  271. The Most Dangerous Game Rainsford continually acknowledged his situation, moved, and communicated.
  272. Fear Has Two Meanings • Negative = Forget Everything And Run • Positive = Face Everything And Rise It is really a choice!!!
  273. There are only two options: make progress or make excuses.
  275. The Pit and the Pendulum
  276. Safe Zone Safe Zone
  277. Safe Zone Safe Zone
  278. Creativity Zone Creativity Zone
  279. Creativity Zone Creativity Zone
  280. Risk Zone
  281. Risk Zone Innovation Zone
  282. Creativity Zone Creativity Zone Risk Zone Innovation Zone
  283. Creativity Zone Innovation Zone Risk Zone Creativity ZoneSafe Zone Safe Zone
  284. Creativity Zone Innovation Zone Risk Zone Creativity ZoneSafe Zone Safe Zone Dead Zone
  285. Exercise #13: GOSPA Worksheet
  286. Example: GOSPA Worksheet Reduce my own procrastination Improve my time management 1. Project time management 2. Manage my deliverables 1. Time management training 2. Training on specific tools 1. Attend time manager webinar 2. Put dates on team calendar
  287. It’s better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at that line for the rest of your life.
  288. Final Thoughts
  289. 11 February 1990: Robben Island
  290. Nelson Mandela is Released
  291. 24 June 1995: Rugby World Cup
  292. Mandela Takes Team to Robben Island
  293. Mandela Talks about Invictus
  294. Mandela Shares Another Story
  295. He Removes Foreboding Joy They are playing on their home field. Mandela says the nation is grateful.
  296. He Removes Procrastination He tells them to play with a sense of purpose and urgency.
  297. He Removes Sarcastic Remarks The retreat to Robben Island provided focus.
  298. Their Training = No Numbing Mandela talk about how they are prepared. They can do it.
  299. He Removes Viking-Victim Thinking Mandela tells them that they are men with wives and children, too.
  300. He Removes Smash and Grab Mandela took them away to Robben Island to focus and avoid the press.
  301. Seize the Moment, Don’t Zigzag They were playing New Zealand in a few hours. Face the competition.
  302. It was NOT about RESISTANCE It was about RESILIENCE
  303. South Africa Wins Championship
  304. Pixel Perfect: Strategies for Overcoming Design Perfectionism