Powerful communication strategies briding the gender & generational gap 2018

Copyright (c) 2018 - Brian Smith-PLD
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Powerful
Communication Strategies
Bridging the Gender & Generational Gap

Key Learning Points
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1. Learn the key to working with others by working
with them in a style that they like
2. Deepen your understanding of your own
communication and leadership style
3. Learn how to communicate and interact more
effectively up, down and across the organization

Seminar Goals
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 Understand your behavioural tendencies and
develop an understanding of how your behaviour
affects others
 Respect, appreciate, understand, and value
individual differences
 Learn how to communicate and interact more
effectively
 Increase your effectiveness by improving your
relationships with others
 Learn how to motivate others by understanding their
strengths and limitations

Introduction
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 What behavior do you find most frustrating when
working with others?

EQ vs. IQ
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Worth Remembering …
“We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how
smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also
by how well we handle ourselves and each other”
– Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence

The Motivation Equation
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Personal Need
+
Goal Directed Behavior
=
Your WIIFM

The Attitude Challenge
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 Who is in control of your attitude?

Attitude is a Choice
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“Everything can be taken away from man but one
thing – to choose – to choose ones attitude in a given
set of circumstances, to choose ones own way”
– Viktor Frankl

More About Attitude
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 Everybody has one
 No two are exactly the same
 It’s 100% in your control
 It’s a matter of choice
 How would the people you work with and interact
with rate your attitude?
 How much fun are you to be around?

Pick Your Battles
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“Change what you can … influence what you will …
and learn to give up the rest because it’s a total waste
of your time and energy” – Brian Smith

Understanding Behaviour
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“Humans are the only creatures who refuse to be who
they are.” – Albert Camus

Behaviour Is …
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 20% Observable
 Situationally based
 Flexible
 Dynamic
 Based on thoughts and beliefs

DISC Styles of Behaviour
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 Take a moment and score your DISC Lite Profile
 Please follow the instructions at the top of the page
 Do not over think your responses
 It should only take you 3 minutes to complete

An Ah-Ha Moment
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Awareness
Brings
Compatibility

The Rules About Others
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 Different is just that – different
 There is richness in diversity
 By understanding yourself better,
you will learn to understand others

Behavioural Styles
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 Dominant: Quick action, task focused, easily
bored
 Interpersonal: Entertaining, friendly, talkative
 Steady: Calm, patient, loyal, a good listener
 Conscientious: Attention to detail, analytical,
getting it right.

More About D’s
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 Shapes the environment by overcoming opposition
to accomplish results
Tendencies:
 Getting immediate results
 Accepting challenges
 Makes quick decisions
 Takes authority
 Questions the status-quo
 Loves to solve problems

Limitations
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 May come across as unapproachable
 Can be insensitive to others
 Can show impatience with others
 May seem intimidating
 Blunt, demanding approaches
 Little social interaction
 Tries to move the team or individual before they are
ready

Preferred Environment
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 Power and authority
 Prestige and challenge
 Direct answers
 A wide scope of operations
 Opportunities for individual accomplishments
 Opportunities for advancement
 Freedom from controls and supervision
 Many new and varied activities

Increase Your Effectiveness
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 Develop more patience
 Tone down your directness
 Ask more questions
 Work on body language to appear more
approachable
 Offer more encouragement in conversation
 Spend more time with those you direct

More About I’s
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 Shapes the environment by influencing or
persuading others
Tendencies:
 Contacting people
 Making a good impression
 Being articulate
 Participating in a group
 Entertaining people
 Creating a motivational environment

Limitations
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 Can be disorganized
 May be superficial in approach
 Lack of follow through
 May not be detailed enough in giving direction
 Overselling of ideas
 Vulnerability to perceived rejection
 Attempts to persuade or influence others

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 Popularity, social recognition
 Public recognition of ability
 Freedom of expression
 Group activities outside of job
 Freedom from control and detail
 Coaching and counseling
 Favorable working conditions in a social atmosphere

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 Learn to listen more carefully
 Become more organized and manage time more
effectively
 Provide more detail
 Be more specific in praise and work direction
 Focus on people’s needs

More About S’s
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 Cooperates with others within existing
circumstances to carry out tasks
Tendencies:
 Demonstrating patience
 Developing specialized skills
 Helping others
 Being a good listener
 Showing loyalty
 Performing in a consistent manner

Limitations
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 Can be indecisive
 May be indirect
 Resists change
 May be hesitant to implement needed changes
 Difficulty identifying priorities
 Difficulty with deadlines

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 Maintenance of status-quo
 Predictable routines
 Credit for work accomplished
 Minimal work infringement on home life
 Sincere appreciation
 Identification with a group
 Minimal conflict

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 Become more assertive and direct
 Learn to cope better with change
 Try to not carry the burden of everyone else’s
problems

More About C’s
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 Works conscientiously within existing circumstances
to ensure accuracy and quality
Tendencies:
 Concentrating on key details
 Being diplomatic
 Checking for accuracy
 Thinking analytically
 Adhering to key directives and standards
 Using a systematic approach to situations

Limitations
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 Can be overly concerned with perfection
 Acts aloof
 Tend to hamper other’s creativity by sticking to rules
 Discomfort with ambiguity
 Resistance to vague or general information
 Desires to double check for accuracy
 Little need for affiliation with others

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 Control of those factors that affect their performance
 Clearly defined performance expectations
 Values on quality and accuracy
 A reserve, business like atmosphere
 Recognition for specific skills and accomplishments

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 Accept the differences in others
 Be more open
 Focus on communicating and interacting more
effectively
 Encourage others creativity

Strength or Weakness?
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“ A strength over used can become a weakness if used
in the wrong situation.” - Unknown

You Decide
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Dominant: Good at directing and deciding, but
may become autocratic
Interpersonal: Good at promoting and
persuading, but may oversell and manipulate
Steadiness: Good at being steady and agreeable,
but may give in despite their needs
Conscientious: Good at analyzing and checking,
but may become perfectionistic and indecisive

Relating to D’s
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 Let them initiate
 Show your competence
 Stick to the topic
 Show independence
 Eliminate time-wasters
 Be clear about rules and expectations
 Respect their need for autonomy
 Make communication brief and to the point

Relating to I’s
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 Approach them informally
 Be relaxed and sociable
 Use humour
 Keep the conversation light
 Provide written details
 Give public recognition for accomplishments
 Let them verbalize thoughts and feelings

Relating to S’s
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 Provide written instructions
 Offer ongoing support
 Use sincere appreciation
 Let them adapt slowly to change
 Show their importance to the organization
 Try to be logical and systematic in your approach
 Let them know how things are going

Relating to C’s
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 Show dependability
 Demonstrate loyalty
 Value high standards
 Allow precedent to be the guide
 Be precise and focused
 Give clear expectations and deadlines
 Be tactful and emotionally reserved

Good Habits = Good Results
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“Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you
do the most are the things you do the best”
- Marva Collins

New Beginnings
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C – Commit to a new beginning
H – Habits. Stop one, start another
A – Action not words
N – Never, ever give up
G – Goal oriented. Set targets
E – Evaluate your plan

Think it – Act it – Become it
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 What do you need to do to adapt your style to be
more in tune with others?
 What challenges do you need to overcome so you can
deal with difficult people and challenging situations
better?
 What new skills will you need to learn so you can
communicate and interact more effectively?

Their Perception is Their Reality
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“You don’t have to like the people you work with – but
you do need to learn how to get along with them.”
- Brian Smith

Building Relationships
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“The most important single ingredient in the formula
of success is knowing how to get along with people”
- Theodore Roosevelt

The 3 R’s
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R – Rapport: Get to know them for more than the
work that they do. What do they like to do outside of
work?
R – Relationship: You can’t develop a relationship
with someone until you have established rapport.
R – Respect: You won’t respect anyone that you
haven’t established a relationship with first.

Managing Others
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According to John J. Gabarro and John P. Kotter there
are four key components to developing and managing
a relationship with your Boss.
1. Compatible work styles
2. Mutual expectations
3. Dependability and honesty
4. Good use of time and resources
John J. Gabarro & John P. Kotter – Managing Your Boss – Harvard Business

The Art of Communicating
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“I know you believe you understand what you think I
said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard
is not what I meant.” – Unknown

Questions Worth Answering
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 What skills does it take to be a good communicator?
 What are some of the road blocks to good
communication?

Communication Realities
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 You cannot not communicate
 Whenever contact is made communication occurs
 Meanings are in people not in words
 All types of communications are received but 70 to
90% are screened out or changed by the receiver
 You communicate 93% of the time non-verbally
 Most people perceive the non-verbal as being more
accurate
Based on the research of Dr. Ralph Nichols. “Are You Listening?”

Communication Styles
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 How can you communicate more effectively with:
1. D style behavior
2. I style behavior
3. S style behavior
4. C style behavior

Tuned Out or Turned Off?
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 Humans have the ability to listen at a rate of
________ words a minute
 Humans have the ability to speak at a rate of
________ words a minute
 Based on those two numbers ________ words a
minute are lost in translation

Active Listening
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“We have two ears but only one mouth. Some people
suggest that’s because we should spend twice as much
time listening as opposed to talking. Others suggest
it’s because listening is twice as hard.” - Unknown

Questions Worth Answering
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 What skills does it take to be a good listener?
 What gets in the way of being a good listener?

Barriers to Active Listening
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 Individuals listen about 25% of the time
 Most people only recall 50% of what they hear
 70% of all misunderstandings happen because people do
not listen to each other
 We listen and speak at two different rates of speed

5 Steps to Active Listening
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1. Listen to understand not to agree
2. Give the sender your undivided attention
3. Ask questions for clarity
4. Summarize / paraphrase what you heard
5. Tune into words, feelings and body language

Are You Listening?
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 Take out six letters and it will reveal a very popular
word
 What word did it reveal?
SBXNIAELTASREANTS

Problem Solving
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“Diplomacy: The business of handling a porcupine
without disturbing the quills.” – Unknown

Problem Solving Skills
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 Deal with the problem immediately
 Define the problem carefully
 Separate people from the problem
 Determine the desired outcome
 Make a list of practical solutions
 Don’t get trapped into thinking there is only one
resolution.
 Solicit input – get buy-in

Conflict
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“No one has ever harmed their stomach by
swallowing evil words unsaid.”
- Sir Winston Churchill

Resolving Conflict
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 You live in a political world – You need to respect the
chain of command. Don’t go over your Bosses head
 Do not over step your LOA (Level of Authority)
 Establish your network. Get to know the gate keeper
 Make sure you have a paper trail

Adapting to Others
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 I will adapt my behaviour in the following ways:
D - ________________________________
I - ________________________________
S - ________________________________
C - ________________________________

Just One More Thing to Add
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Gender and Generational
Communication Preferences

Generational Differences
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Communication Preferences
 Baby Boomers
 Generation X
 Millenials
 Generation Z

Gender Differences
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Gender Communication Preferences
 Women
 Men

Thank You for Participating
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I hope you got your WIIFM Today!

For more information …
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 Brian is available for keynote speeches and seminars
on a variety of soft skills topics and leadership
development programs.
 For more information about this presentation please
feel free to contact Brian directly.
 Brian Smith – Power Link Dynamics
 Email: brian@briansmithpld.com
 Web: http://briansmithpld.com
 Mobile: 613.323.4470

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