2. Brevity:Brevity:
It takes more effort to be brief than toIt takes more effort to be brief than to
rambleramble
Poor: Our activities in this area date back to the 1870’sPoor: Our activities in this area date back to the 1870’s
and we have built upon this one-hundred plus yearsand we have built upon this one-hundred plus years
experience to develop, without question, the mostexperience to develop, without question, the most
complete, accurate and selective mailing list productscomplete, accurate and selective mailing list products
available anywhere in the world. (38 words)available anywhere in the world. (38 words)
Better: Since 1870 we have built a world-wideBetter: Since 1870 we have built a world-wide
reputation for lists that are selective, accurate, andreputation for lists that are selective, accurate, and
thorough. (16 words)thorough. (16 words)
3. Expressiveness:Expressiveness:
Open with a sentence that grabs attentionOpen with a sentence that grabs attention
Poor: Most business owners are so busy handlingPoor: Most business owners are so busy handling
everything from accounting to advertising thateverything from accounting to advertising that
they don’t take the time to set goals, measurethey don’t take the time to set goals, measure
results, and plan the long term success of theirresults, and plan the long term success of their
business. (32 words)business. (32 words)
Better: What gets measured, gets done andBetter: What gets measured, gets done and
experience proves that if you can’t measureexperience proves that if you can’t measure
results someday there may not be any. (25results someday there may not be any. (25
words)words)
4. Powerful EndingsPowerful Endings
Memorable sentences plant the essential thoughtsMemorable sentences plant the essential thoughts
in the reader’s mind using compelling syntax andin the reader’s mind using compelling syntax and
cadencecadence
• Poor: Following six years of below averagePoor: Following six years of below average
rainfall in the Napa Valley, the 1993 seasonrainfall in the Napa Valley, the 1993 season
produced abundant rain throughout winter andproduced abundant rain throughout winter and
spring, creating optimal soil moisture to ensurespring, creating optimal soil moisture to ensure
full maturation of the fruit throughout thefull maturation of the fruit throughout the
growing cycle and harvest. (38 words)growing cycle and harvest. (38 words)
• Better: After six dry years, Napa Valley hadBetter: After six dry years, Napa Valley had
weather that produced ripe, perfect fruit inweather that produced ripe, perfect fruit in
1993. (15 words)1993. (15 words)
5. Correct Word UsageCorrect Word Usage
Use words correctly. It will produce aUse words correctly. It will produce a
much stronger image through writingmuch stronger image through writing
and speech.and speech.
Example: Using the word “anxious”Example: Using the word “anxious”
(expecting stress and agitation) when(expecting stress and agitation) when
what you mean is “eager” (expectingwhat you mean is “eager” (expecting
pleasure and comfort).pleasure and comfort).
6. ““These are the plansThese are the plans
that try investors’that try investors’
patience”patience”
Paraphrase of Thomas PaineParaphrase of Thomas Paine
7. ““These are the plansThese are the plans
that try investors’that try investors’
patience”patience”
Paraphrase of Thomas PaineParaphrase of Thomas Paine
