1. Understanding a customer's feelings is key when they are upset. Initially focus on soothing their emotions rather than solving the problem. 2. Five ideas to deal with difficult people are to not take things personally, listen actively without being defensive, avoid overusing "sorry", empathize with what they are saying and feeling, and build rapport by putting yourself in their shoes. 3. Empathy is effective for dealing with a customer's feelings and conveys that you understand how they feel without agreeing with them. Build rapport by including yourself and saying you don't like it when things happen either.

1. 5 Ideas to Deal with Difficult People
A Personal Assistant should have adequate skills and ideas to deal with difficult people. Understanding
that when dealing with an upset customer, you must first deal with their feelings is the key to good
customer service.
Upset customers are liable to have strong feelings when you, your product or service lets them down, and
they will probably want to "dump" these feelings on you. Initially, don't spend all your time concentrating
on solving the problem, focus on soothing their feelings. Here are 5 action ideas to deal with difficult
people, that will help you to focus on their emotional needs.
1. Don't let them get to you - Stay out of it emotionally and concentrate on listening non-defensively and
actively. Customers may make disparaging and emotional remarks - don't rise to the bait. 2. Listen - listen
- listen - Look and sound like you are listening. The customer wants to know that you care and that you
are interested in their problem.
3. Stop saying sorry - Sorry is an overused word, everyone says it when something goes wrong, so it has
lost its value. How often have you heard: "Sorry about that, give me the details and I'll sort it out for you".
It's far better to say: "I apologise for .....". And if you really need to use the sorry word, make sure to
include it as part of a full sentence, such as: "I'm sorry you haven't received the information as promised,
Mr Smith". (It's also good practise to use the customer's name in a difficult situation.)
4. Empathize - When looking for ideas to deal with difficult people, use empathy. It's an effective way to
deal with the customers feelings. Empathy isn't about agreeing; it's about acceptance of what the
customer is saying and feeling. The message you want to relay is: "I understand how you feel". Obviously
this has to be a genuine response. The customer will know if you are being insincere, and will feel
patronised. Examples of empathetic responses include: "I can understand that you're angry". "I see what
you mean".
5. Build rapport - Sometimes it's useful to add another phrase to an empathetic response, to include
yourself in the picture, such as: "I can understand how you feel, I don't like it when I'm kept waiting
either". This has the effect of putting yourself in the customer's shoes, and it helps to build rapport.
It's unlikely that the customer will say: "Why don't you do something about it then". The majority of
people won't respond this way when they realise you are empathizing with them. If they do, don't be put
off, continue empathising and tell the customer what you intend to do about the situation. Say: "I'll report
this to the manager", or "I'll do my best to ensure it does not happen again".