Handouts for parents!

1. Positive Solutions for
Families
By Angela Searcy, M.S.
www.overtherainbowsimplesolutions.com
asearcya@aol.com
708-845-2343
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2. Angela Searcy asearcya@aol.com 708-845-2343
•
Angela Searcy M.S., D.T. holds a B.A. degree in English and secondary education with
teacher certification though the state of Illinois and a M.S. degree in early childhood
development from Erikson Institute, with a specialization in Infant Studies and a credential
in developmental therapy. Angela is a Diversifying in Higher Education in Illinois Fellow
at Argosy University in the Doctor of Education Program
•
Angela is the owner and founder of Simple Solutions Educational Services, has over 20
years of experience in the field of education, is an approved professional development
provider by the Illinois State Board of Education, and Texas ECI. She acted as an
professional development provider for Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations
for Early Learning (CSEFEL) at Vanderbilt University, the Multisensory Training
Institute (MTI) in Needham, MA and the Angela currently is a professional development
provider for Teaching Strategies, LLC, Lakeshore Learning, Carson CA and Erikson
Institute for Child Development.
•
Angela is also a professor at Rasmussen College, a Head Start CLASS Reviewer, a PDI
coach with the Ounce of Prevention and the host of Angela Searcy’s Simple Solutions
Internet Show 11am CST on www.globalnewsforum.com
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A former associate at the Neuropsychology Diagnostic Center in Orland Park, Illinois,
Angela has specialized training in neuroscience and is a nationally recognized speaker. She
has been featured on Chicago Public Radio’s Chicago Matters, Chicago Parent
and Chicago Baby Magazines and is a regular speaker for the Learning and the
Simple Solutions
Brain Conference Sponsored by Harvard, Educational Stanford Universities.
Yale and
Services © 2006

3. Simple Solutions Educational Services ©
2006
Angela Searcy’s Simple
Solutions Show!
EVERY Sat at 11am CST @
www.globalnewsforum.com

4. Simple Solutions Educational Services
© 2006
Simple Solutions Educational
Services
on Facebook

5. What is CSEFEL?
The Center on the Social and Emotional
Foundations for Early Learning
www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel
A Federally Funded Center Focused on Improving the Social Emotional
Outcomes of Children Birth to Age Five.
Partners:
•
Vanderbilt University
•
University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
•
University of Colorado at Denver
•
University of South Florida
•
ZERO to THREE
•
Georgetown Center for Child and Human Development

6. How Does the Parent Change?

7. What are Positive Behavior
Supports?
• A child’s social and
emotional development
is closely tied to the
parents’ behavior!
• Social and emotional
development HELPS
academic skills!
• Positive alternatives to
spanking and “no!”
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8. Hmmm…
• Can you Discipline a child you don’t
have a positive relationship with?
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9. “Every child needs one person
who is crazy about him.”
Uri Bronfenbrenner
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10. Building Positive Relationships with
Your Child
• LOVE is the fuel
that helps their
engine Run!
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11. How Might Children Communicate
They are “Running on Empty!”
• Crying
• Hitting
• What else?

12. Catch Your Child Being Good!
• Give specific, positive attention to your
child for the behavior that you want to
see, and teach your child what to do!
“Wow! You are being so
careful keeping all the
pieces on the table!”
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13. Parent Behavior Is
• Do As I Say, Not As I Do” does not work
• Short phrases are key—two sentences or
less—even things like “Stay on task” or
“Focus”
• Brain reacts to positive statements
• Lengthy arguments muddy the waters

14. Say the DO instead of the Don’t
• Stop yelling!
• Don’t throw your
toys!
• Stop bothering your
sister!.
• Cut it out.
• Use your inside
voice
• Your toys go here or
you need a ball
• Use kind words
• Try to use kind
words and hands
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15. Ways to Give Children Encouragement
(examples)
• “Thank you for __________.”
• “What a good problem solver you are, you were
able to__________.”
• “It’s so much fun to play with you; you are so
good at ________.” (sharing, taking turns)
• “You were being so kind when you ________.”
• “Thank you for using your inside voice when
your sister was sleeping.”
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16. Have parents fill the relationship
TANK!
List 5 things that you will
try to do in the next
week to “fill/refill” your
child’s relationship tank.
Things that will make
your child feel really
special! Things that will
help build a positive
relationship with your
child.

17. • Children respond better to adults who take a personal
interest in them.
• Develop positive relationships are critical for learning
and development
• Make sure the ratio between positive and negative
experiences for students is about 5 positives for every
negative.
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18. Make Your “Expectations” Clear
• Tell your child what to do instead of what not
to do.
• Clearly and simply state what you expect your
child to do.
• Have age-appropriate expectations.
• Use age-appropriate language. Young
children have difficulty with contractions (two
words that are combined to form one, such as
“don’t” and “can’t”).
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19. Common Mistakes: Time-Out
• Angrily threatening time-out
– Gives child the attention he/she is wanting
• Allowing other children to tease the child who is
in time-out
– Gives the child attention
• Applying time-out long after the behavior has
occurred
– Time-out is only effective when immediately
applied.
• Scolding your child when putting him/her in or out
of time-out
– Time-out only works when it is time away from
adult attention.
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20. Helpful Hint!
• Young children often do NOT
understand contractions like “don’t”
• Young children tend to hear the last
word so in “don’t run” they hear….RUN!
• Telling them what not to do doesn’t
teach them what TO DO!
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21. Tips for Encouraging Your Child
Powerful Parenting Practice!
• Tip 1
• Tip 2
• Tip 3
• Tip 4
• Tip 5
• Tip 6
Get your child’s attention.
Use behavior specific language.
Keep it simple—avoid combining
encouragement with criticism.
Encourage with enthusiasm.
Double the impact with physical
warmth.
Use positive comments and
encouragement with your child
in front of others.
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22. Things to Try at Home
Making the Connection!
Positive Parenting Tips
• Try to fill/refill your child’s relationship
tank
• Try to use positive comments and
encouragement with your child
• Have fun together!
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23. Setting The Stage for Success!
•
•
•
•
Try to anticipate problems
Stay near your child
Support your child
Encourage your child
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24. Plan Ahead
• Try to anticipate what your child may do
or may need in various situations. Plan
ahead to set your child up for a
successful experience. Hope for the
best, but always have a backup plan!
Plan ahead!
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25. Stay Calm
• When a child’s behavior is
challenging, you can either respond
to it or ignore it. If reaction is
necessary, remember that less is
usually best.
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26. Controlling Anger and Impulse
How can we help our
children…
• recognize anger in
themselves and
others?
• learn how to calm
down?
• understand
appropriate ways to
express anger?

27. Turtle Technique
Recognize
that you
“Think”
Stop.
feel angry.
Go into shell.
Take 3 deep
breathes.
And think
calm, coping
thoughts.
Come out
of shell
when calm
and think of
a solution.

28. Tucker Turtle
Takes Time to
Tuck and Think
A scripted story to assist with teaching the
“Turtle Technique”
By Rochelle Lentini
March 2005
Created using pictures from Microsoft Clipart® and Webster-Stratton, C. (1991). The teachers and children videotape series: Dina dinosaur school.
Seattle, WA: The Incredible Years.

29. Tucker Turtle is a terrific turtle. He likes to play with his friends at
Wet Lake School.

30. But sometimes things happen that can make Tucker really mad.

31. When Tucker got mad, he used to hit, kick, or yell at his friends. His
friends would get mad or upset when he hit, kicked, or yelled at
them.

32. Tucker now knows a new way to “think like a turtle” when he
gets mad.

33. He can stop and keep his hands, body, and yelling to himself!

34. He can tuck inside his shell and take 3 deep breaths to calm
down.

35. Tucker’s friends are happy when he plays nicely and keeps his body
to himself. Friends also like it when Tucker uses nice words or has
a teacher help him when he is upset.

36. The End!

37. Centers!
Turtle Box
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38. Teach Calming Techniques

40. Use of Songs and Games
Sample Song
• If you are happy and you know it…add
new verses to teach feelings
– If you’re sad and you know it, tuck and think
– If you’re mad and you know it, use your words
“I’m mad”
– If you’re scared and you know it ask for help,
“help me”
– If you’re happy and you know it, hug a friend
– If you’re tired and you know it, give a yawn.

41. Play: How Would You Feel If?
• Discuss typical situations that happen when
children are together: “How would you feel if this
happened to you?”
– Example: Jeremy wanted to play ball with
Katie and Wu-ying today, but they wouldn’t let
him. How do you think that made him feel?
How do you think you would feel if that
happened to you? What could
Jeremy try next time?

42. Sample Game
Make a _____ face.

43. Simple Solutions Adaptation

44. Using Pictures to Teach Rules
• Get out your camera
• Snap a photograph of what you want
your child “to do”
• Post it, model it, practice it, and notice
when it’s done and praise it!
• If your rule is “clean up”…show him/her

45. Make Routines Simple!
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46. The Solution Kit

47. Problem-Solving Games
• What if your sister hit you? How would you feel?
What could you do?
• What if you wrote on Mommy’s bedroom wall with a
marker? How would you feel? How do you think
Mommy would feel? What could you do?
• What if you knocked over your friend’s tower at
school? How would you feel? How do you think your
friend would feel? What could you do?
• What if you and your sister wanted to watch
something different on the television? What could you
do?
• What if someone at school was teasing you and
calling you names. How would you feel? What could
you do?
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48. Problem-Solving Games (cont.)
• What if it was bedtime and you wanted hear one
more book? What could you do?
• What if Daddy sent you to time-out for hitting your
brother? How would you feel? How do you think your
brother would feel? How do you think Daddy would
feel? What could you do?
• What if you really wanted a toy at the toy store but
Mommy said you could not have it? How would you
feel? What could you do?
• What if you really wanted to play with your sister and
her friends, but they said, “No”? How would you feel?
What could you do?
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