1.
History and Etymology

2.
 Variously defined as politeness, consideration,
thoughtfulness, good manners and behaviour
 Treating others as you would like to be treated –
with caring, thoughtfulness and courtesy
 The earliest treatise that was written on etiquette
was in 2400 BC by a member of the Egyptian Royal
Court, Ptah Hotep

3.
 Comes from the French words ‘une equitte’ - a
placard or ticket
 The ticket was handed out to everyone who
attended The Sun King’s Court – Louis XIV
 The little ticket would detail dress, forms of
greeting, dance, food and drink
 Non-compliance would result in banishment from
the court
 That would be the equivalent of being a social
outcast in Noble society!!!

4.
 Be considerate of others
 Treat others the way you want to be treated
 Get to meetings and to work on time
 Not making personal remarks
 Not being overly familiar
 Using handkerchiefs when you cough/sneeze
 No mobiles to intrude on another’s space
 Opening doors
 Giving compliments

5.
 Avoid vulgarity
 Not interrupting when someone else is doing
the talking
 Not talking with the person next to you when
someone else is presenting

6.
...is usually the last

7.
 Visual How you look 55%
 Vocal How you sound 38%
 Verbal What you say 07%

8.
No. Attribute Scale 1-10 Why?
1 Ability
2 Age
3 Aptitude – sporty, cultured
4 Background
5 Career Potential
6 Cleanliness
7 Confidence
8 Determination
9 Dynamism
10 Education

9.
No. Attribute Scale 1-10 Why?
11 Health and Wellbeing
12 Honesty
13 Intelligence
14 Meticulousness
15 Orderliness
16 Personality
17 Poise
18 Sense of Humour
19 Sincerity
20 Wealth

10.
The Silent Communiqué

11.
 Stance would be erect with hands side by side
 Legs would be straight but not rigid
 Shoulders would be rolled back
 Breathing would be even
 Weight would be just forward of centre
 Head would be held high

12.
 Open hands/arms - nothing to hide
 Closed hands/arms – uneasy/defensive
 Hands clasped behind back – confident
 Hand clasping wrist behind back – frustration
 Hand clasping forearm behind back – nervous

13.
 Open stance - confident
 Crossed legs – Insecure
 When seated:
◦ Legs outstretched and hands behind head –
overconfident
◦ Legs crossed and arms folded - defensive

14.
 Fiddling with objects
 Touching hair
 Constant touching/rubbing your face
 Crossing/uncrossing legs
 Rubbing hands together
 Shifting from one side to another

15.
Feature Action Message
Eye Blinking Nervous
Eye Contact Fixed stare I am trying to intimidate you
I will not let you get away
Smile Does not come to the eyes
Smile after every sentence
I do not believe what I say
I am unsure of myself
Face Contraction on forehead
Twitches
Frown
Screwed up eyes
Tensed lips
Frequent blinking/chewing
lips/biting
I am worried
I do not understand
I am not confident
I am stressed
I am nervous
I am scared

16.
Making Physical Contact

17.
 Fingers close together
 Thumb extended
 Straightforward hand
 Palm up – submissive
 Palm down – dominating
 Palm perpendicular to ground – business-like
 The ‘bone-crusher’
 The ‘dead fish’
 The Business Handshake

18.
 Hands together
 Fingertips just below the chin
 Head slightly inclined
 Good for Indianised meetings
 Internationally, good in an informal setting

19.
 Inadvisable at business meetings
 Shows over-familiarity with prospective
business partners
 Meeting with new prospects along with a
current associate can be the exception

20.
 Extremely rare at business meetings
 Can happen between ladies
 Cheek-to-cheek only
 Kiss the AIR!!!
 Acceptable in Middle Eastern Cultures and
European countries, NOT elsewhere

21.
 Happens only in the Far East
 Typically in Japan
 You may follow suit but be sure that the bow
itself is formal and not ‘kowtowing’

22.
 ‘How do you do’?
 The response is NOT ‘Fine, thank you’.
 The CORRECT response is ‘How do you do’?
 American:
◦ ‘Hi! I’m ABC XYZ. How do you do’?
◦ ‘Great, thanks. And you?’
 Remember to SMILE!!!

23.
A ‘Who-to-Who’

24.
 Introduce the younger to the older
 Introduce your company peer to a peer in
another company
 Introduce a junior to a senior executive
 Introduce a fellow executive to a client
 Introduce a non-official to an official person

25.
 Introduce the younger to the older
 Introduce a gentleman to a lady
 Always use the full name at the first
introduction between people
 Respect titles: Ms., Mrs., Dr., Prof. etc.
 Respect government titles even more:
President, Ambassador, Minister, Colonel,
General, Commissioner, Inspector etc.
 Never use nicknames at the first go!

26.
 ‘I am so pleased to meet you, Mr. ABC XYZ’.
 Always use the full name with the correct title
the first time
 Only on the person insisting, use the first
name and offer the same liberty to the person
 And for God’s Sake, get the pronunciation
RIGHT the first time!!!
 If someone has forgotten your name, mention
it in passing to avoid embarrassing the
person in front of others

27.
 Know the background
 Know the pronunciation, get it right
 Stick to the basics
 Never cross the 90-second rule
 Never say, ‘He/She needs no introduction’
 Then what are you there for???
 Remember, at introductions, your client
outranks even your CEO!

28.
Bosses and Beyond

29.
 Always use the full name, with correct title
 Never get familiar with a person’s name on the first
contact – phone, mail and especially in person
 Make sure your peers, juniors and specifically your
support staff are clear on this
 The Boss’ first name use is good
 Never take it for granted

30.
 Judge - My Lord
 An Ambassador - Your Excellency
 A King - Your Majesty
 A Minister - Minister
 A Mayor - Mayor
 A Bishop - Father
 A Priest - Brother/Father
 A Nun - Sister/Mother
 Holy man - Panditji/Maulvi Sahab
 Elder/Senior - Sir/Ji (Indian only)

31.
What your card says and how

32.
 Standard Size: 85mm x 55mm
 Most companies have a template
 Personalised cards
◦ Print on single side
◦ Have the essentials
◦ Correct title, if applicable
◦ Men should not mention ‘Mr.’ specifically
◦ Ladies can mention ‘Ms./Mrs.’, as applicable

33.
 Present card with type face-up and facing the one
it is presented to
 Senior Executives: Never thrust your card at them;
Wait till you are asked
 Make eye-contact when handing over
 Be selective: In a large group do not give cards to
everyone; seems pushy and looks like you are there
to sell something they may not want
 Do NOT give your card to everyone you meet;
irritating and could regret a stranger misusing it

34.
 Socially: An exchange between two people, do not
make a show of it
 Better not to give a card than one that is soiled,
damaged, outdated cards; get a new set at the
earliest (remember to carry it for the next meeting)
 5-star or Udupi: No cards to surface
 If it is a must, be very discreet
 Ideally, do not discuss business during a meal

35.
Mind it!

36.
 Stick to one language, preferably English, even
when speaking with your team mates
 With others, never assume that they do not
understand your lingo
 Business partners do a lot of research and learning
before they come to the table
 NEVER assume that a non-Indian would not know
Hindi or another major language
 Learn how to say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’ in your
business partner’s language
 If you do not know, find out

37.
A Fine Art indeed!

38.
 Gossip
 Criticising others, especially colleagues
 Religion
 Politics
 Long personal anecdotes
 Stories with sexual undertones

39.
The Bell Curse!

40.
 Lasting impression
 Smile
 Answer between the 2nd and 3rd ring
 Always identify yourself
 Focus on the call
 Be helpful
 Hold: Give the option to wait or call-back
 Thank them for holding on
 Tone
 Problem: empathise and apologise

41.
 Listen, don’t hear
 Be calm, choose your words carefully
 Clear and natural
 Offer to find out and revert if unknown to you
 Transfer on necessity
 Messages: re-check and be prompt
 Thank them for calling
 Complaints: Concerned and polite
 Return ALL calls

42.
The reason you are!

43.
 Be punctual
 Present your card at the reception
 Sit where you are told to; if too many chairs, ask
which one to sit in
 Sit after your customer
 Don’t dump stuff on the table or the floor
 Bags on the floor beside you
 Don’t fidget with stuff on their table
 Leave as soon as business is over
 Say thanks for the meeting within 24 hours

44.
 Alert the reception
 Make sure there is a meeting room/place
 Refreshments on stand-by
 No obligation to meet before appointed time
 If you are delayed, inform them in advance
 Apologise for the delay
 Greet them at your office door
 See them off, at least to the elevator

45.
Be prepared!

46.
 Be punctual
 Do your homework
 Ask where to be seated
 Stick to the agenda
 Remember Body Language
 Never interrupt
 Keep your jacket on!
 Keep business cards ready; in pristine condition

47.
The Trap!

48.
 7:30 – 8:00 AM
 Maximum 1 hour
 Best places are 24-hour coffee shops
 Stick to places with a buffet breakfast
 Definitely no alcohol

49.
 12:00 noon – 2:00 PM
 Maximum 2 hour
 Can prepare for this in the first-half
 Get to the point as soon as the orders are placed
 Decisions, if any, during dessert
 Avoid alcohol
 If the client has a drink, order for them, you decline

50.
 3:30 – 4:00 PM
 More informal
 Less time-consuming
 Make sure there are some ‘bites’
 No alcohol
 Junior most host pours the tea

51.
Don’t become the
entertainment!

52.
 Sit opposite at a horizontal table, always
 No gossip
 No finishing the other’s sentence
 Not too personal
 No flirting
 Discuss business just before the main course
 No open-mouth chewing
 No elbows on the table
 No yawning
 Dress well

53.
 Give a three-day notice
 Reconfirm on appointed day, 3 hrs. before time
 All other rules remain the same
 Begin business with the main course
 Main discussion during dessert and coffee
 Ask questions
 Encourage conversation
 Napkin on the table only when ready to leave

54.
 Maitre d’ - Rs. 100-500
 Server - 10-20% of the bill
 Sommelier - Rs. 50-100
 Parking - Rs. 10-20

55.
The Final Frontier

56.
 Olives with pits are eaten in bites, pit in plate
 Shrimps: 1-2 bites, single dip, tail in plate
 Bites: single dip, napkin below the bite
 Spray factors: be very careful
 Temperature: the inside of the snack is always
hotter than the cool outside
 Disposal: Never spit, transfer to napkin and then
find a bin

57.
 Sparkling
◦ Champagne
◦ ‘methode champenoise’
 Still
◦ Red
◦ White
◦ Rose
 Fortified
◦ Sherry/Port
 Vintage
 Young and Old

58.
Webonomics

59.
 Client parties
 Company party
 Social activity
 Fund raisers
 Clubs
 Trade organisations
 Business clubs

60.
 Be aware
 Plan
 Dress appropriately
 Business cards
 Practice self-introduction

61.
The Global Village

62.
 Road:
◦ Bus
◦ Taxi
◦ Hired car
◦ Self drive
 Train
◦ Seated
◦ Berths
 Air:
◦ Economy
◦ Business
◦ First

63.
 Company Guest House
 Hotels
 Friends/Relatives

64.
Walk on eggshells!!!

65.
 Diaries
 Appointment books
 Leather wallets
 Pen stands
 Visiting card cases
 Clocks
 Calculators
 Stationery: pens, pencils, letter openers, bookends,
paper weights, calendars, notepads
 Accessories: ties, cufflinks, openers, glassware

66.
Bias no more

67.
 Hold the door
 MEN first: Revolving doors, escalators
 Everywhere else: LADIES FIRST
 Men do not have to stand up for a lady
 Colleagues can split the bill
 No condescension
 No patronising
 NO physicality
 R-E-S-P-E-C-T

68.
That’s all folks!!!
Ijaz Shaikh
Grey Worldwide
2012