2. INT- POSH LINGERIE SHOP - Day
A father, DAVE, a 6ft tall man, 42 years old with brown hair
with patchy grey streaking through it and a daughter, LIV, a
13 year old girl with long brown hair, go shopping for her to
buy her some bra's, they walk into a posh lingerie shop to
browse the collection.
DAVE
So, erm, here we are... what
about these lovely and
completely unrevealing
things?
DAVE holds up a pair on large granny pants to his daughter
pulling a convincing smile. LIV looks at her dad with a
serious face long enough for him to put the granny knickers
down and back away.
DAVE
No, no? okay.. I'll leave you
to it, just no 'sexy' items,
or lacy things, or 'strings'
Dave picks up a collection of thongs and then throws them down
and walks to the back of the shop. LIV walks to the bra
section and starts to browse at the collection picking up a
few items. Two GIRLS walk into the store laughing and chatting
loudly, lIV turns round and realises she knows the girls, she
tries to turn her back to the girls and ducks her head in the
collection of underwear to avoid the girls, but the girls spot
her and walk over to her.
LIV
Hey girls, what's happening?
fancy seeing you here
The two girls who are carrying a large amount of shopping
bags, both rich girls full of fake smiles. Both girls has a
fuller figure than LIV. LIV and the two girls all air kiss as
they great each other.
GIRL 1
Oh hey, oh we're just have a
little shopping trip, you
should of come with us.
3. The girl raises her arms up stating the obvious that they were
in a lingerie shop. The two girls all laughed together, LIV
joining in. The girls start browsing the selection of
underwear together, picking out sexy bras that are too old for
them with lots of padding.
GIRL 2
Who are you with anyway?
Daddy give you his credit
card for you to go on your
own?
The girls look shocked and stunned that her dad could be that
cool,
LIV
Oh erm no.. I urm
Before LIV can finish her sentence her dad comes walking over
walking in a strut pushing his lips together whilst wearing a
thong over his eye and pretending to wear a bra. He walks over
to the girls and starts to talk, mimicking the way the girls
talk.
DAVE
Oh hey girls, how you doing,
like fancy seeing you here.
You think I need the next
size up?
Dave points to the bra he's wearing. LIV looks mortified and
freezes from embarrassment; her friends all burst out laughing
and look between LIV and DAVE.
GIRL 1
wow...
The two girls walk out of the store without LIV laughing and
giggling about what just happened
GIRL 2
What on earth was that?
4. GIRL 4
Oh who knows, how
embarrassing
The group of girls all laugh together and walk off. LIV stays
stood with her dad looking at him in disbelief.
DAVE
Oh come on that was funny,
okay I'll buy you some food,
happy?
LIV says nothing and carries on staring at him in silence,
DAVE
No? erm a maccies? a new top?
an eye patch?
DAVE points to the thong located on his head that he has over
his eye to represent an eye patch.
LIV picks up her selected underwear and takes them to check
out. Then they both walk back to the car.
INT- AN OPEN PLANNED LIVING ROOM WITH STAIRS LEADING DOWN TO
THE MIDDLE OF THE LIVING ROOM. - NIGHT
DAVE and his wife, JEN a 40-year-old woman with short light
brown curly hair, are sat in the living room discussing
previous the events of the day.
DAVE
Captain thong man was just
trying to save her from the
world of sassy lingerie, it's
not my fault, I didn't choose
the captain thong man life,
the captain thong man life
chose me.
There was a knock at the door and DAVE gets up and starts
walking to the door.
5. DAVE
This must be LIV’s fella eh?
DAVE opens the door and stares dauntingly at the young boy,
NICK, a 14-year-old boy who’s average height with short dark
brown hair, while looking him up and down.
NICK
Hi sir, erm is LIV here sir?
DAVE
How old are you?
NICK
Erm, fourteen sir
DAVE
Sorry no LIV lives here
DAVE shuts the door in the boys face and walks off, JEN
quickly walks to the door to open it for the young boy.
JEN
I’m so sorry for my husband's
behaviour please come in NICK
The three people sit in awkward silence waiting for LIV, DAVE
stares at NICK from across the room without blinking.
LIV then quietly walks down the stairs wearing a red dress
that comes just above her knee's that is low cut revealing
cleavage with obvious enhancing underwear. Jen turns around to
go find LIV then her face drops when she sees her daughter.
JEN
Oh my goodness..
DAVE
Holy..wow what. Hey hunny you
going to the kitchen cause
those chicken fillets of
6. yours will be perfect to feed
the family.
LIV gives a fake smile and laughs at her dads joke.
LIV
I'm going out, bye.
DAVE
Could we have the chicken
fillets first though? I'm
rather hungry
JEN
LIV, go upstairs, now.
DAVE
I guess captain thong man
wasn't enough. Better the
bra-man on the job.
LIV looking mortified runs upstairs. JEN walks up the stairs
after LIV leaving DAVE and NICK.
DAVE
So boy, what do you plan to
do with the rest of your
entire life?
NICK
Well I plan to go to Oxford University and
study Engineering, Economics and Management
to become a management consultant and
financial institutions as well as be in the
manufacturing industry, sir.
DAVE looks at NICK in disbelief and scratches his head trying
to think of a good comeback.
DAVE
Well I, erm, good luck. So
what you doing tonight?
7. NICK
Cinema’s I think sir
DAVE
Horror? So she can lean on
your shoulder and pretend to
be scared? Romantic so you
can wipe her tears off her
face and lean in for a kiss?
Or comedy so you can laugh
your way into a kiss? Ey?
NICK
I think we’re going to go see
the new Monsters InK actually
DAVE takes in a deep breath as he walks round the room being
out staged again. LIV and JEN walk down the stairs with LIV
now wearing more casual and appropriate clothes.
DAVE
Ah LIVVY LOO, now that’s much
better.
DAVE walks over to LIV and gives her a big kiss. LIV pushes
her dad away and looks shyly over towards NICK. As NICK and
LIV finally start to leave the house DAVE calls after them.
DAVE
So nine O’Clock right here,
I’ll be waiting not a minute
longer, a lot of minutes
earlier though, if you want
that is.
Nick
Oh, yes sir
JEN
Oh please, call me JEN, and
call him DAVE
8. DAVE
No no, carry on calling me
sir. See you at nine LIVVY
LOO LOO, and if she's not
home before nine Nicolas...
you don't want to know what's
going to happen.
NICK
oh I, erm, yes sir
DAVE walks over to Nick of whispers closely to
him
DAVE
Oh and how about when you
come back we can go out to
the back and.. Y'know
DAVE indicates a smoking sign with his hand
NICK
What? oh erm I don't do that
sir
DAVE
Come on, just a few drags,
you know what I'm talking
about
NICK looks around awkwardly and looks at his
mobile phone
NICK
Actually, you know what I
have to go, sorry it's urgent
DAVE
you sure? Oh okay bu'bye now
DAVE walks NICK out of the door with a cheery
wave. Dave brushes his hands off and walks off.
