2. Write out what is the
most impacting memory
that you have from
your family of origin
(both positive & negative)
and explain why…
Systemically: Ontological
Who You Are – “BEING” before “DOING”
3. Imago Dei
People are valued and they are the one
commodity that has the power to change!
4. Eastern:
Integration of the Cognitive,
Emotional & Spiritual
Approach: Transformational
Western:
Platonic-Divided
Approach: Informational
Cultural / Historical
7. Thinking Systemically is Key to Team Leadership
Edwin Friedman’s Theory: By applying a family
systems theory to leadership, Friedman argues
that leaders lead in a systemic environment in
which the elements (i.e. individuals, their
relationships, vision, causes, values, etc.) are
all interrelated and interconnected.
8. Five Elements of Chronic-Anxiety
• Reactive–the vicious cycle of intense emotional reactions of each
member to events and to one another
• Herders–a process thru which the forces for togetherness triumph
over the forces for individuality and move everyone to adapt to the
least mature members
• Blame displacers–an emotional state in which members focus on
forces that have victimized them rather than taking responsibility
for their own being and destiny
• Quick-fixers–members have a low-threshold for pain and thus
constantly seek symptom relief rather than fundamental change.
• Lacking well-differentiated leaders–a failure of nerve in leaders
that both stems from and contributes to the first four
characteristics.
9. Crucial Issue
A system will either benefit or suffer from the
way the leader is present because the
functioning of the leader (or leaders) affects the
emotional processes inherent in all relational
systems.
10. Characteristics of a Differentiated Leader
• HAVING CLARITY ABOUT ONE’S OWN LIFE PRINCIPLES,
VISION AND GOALS
• BEING ABLE TO REMAIN CALM IN THE PRESENCE OF
OTHER’S ANXIETY AND REACTIVITY
• BEING SEPARATE WHILE BEING CONNECTED (WHAT I
WILL BE DISCUSSING AT THE
• MAINTAINING A NON-ANXIOUS AND SOMETIMES
CHALLENGING PRESENCE
• MANAGING ONE’S OWN REACTIVITY TO THE
AUTOMATIC REACTIVITY OF OTHERS
• TAKING A NON-REACTIVE STANCE THAT RISKS
DISPLEASING OTHERS & OVER- FUNCTIONING
11. Over- functioning Kills Team Leader’s
• ADVICE-GIVING
• DOING THINGS FOR OTHERS THAT THEY CAN DO
THEMSELVES
• WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE
• FEELING RESPONSIBLE FOR OTHERS: KNOWING
WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM
• TALKING MORE THAN LISTENING
• HAVING GOALS FOR OTHERS THAT THEY DO NOT
HAVE FOR THEMSELVES
• EXPERIENCING PERIODIC, SUDDEN “BURNOUT
12. A Functional Definition of Leadership
• LEADERSHIP IS AN EMOTIONAL PROCESS
RATHER THAN A COGNITIVE PHENOMENON.
• LEADERSHIP IS MORE THE CLARITY OF SELF
THAN IT IS TECHNIQUE OR DATA.
• LEADERSHIP IS A DANCE BETWEEN PEOPLE
WHO ARE SHAPING AND BEING SHAPED BY
EACH OTHER.
13. Individual charismas compliment
one another toward a common
purpose/goal
Team members are committed
to each other — providing
support for one another and
holding each other accountable
Agroupofindividuals
becomesateamwhen…
46. Agreement
We are committed to having a prayerful attitude
and intentionally following through on our
commitments to others.
We are committed to unselfishly treat others with
mercy, grace, kindness, humility, gentleness, and
patience.
We are committed to maintaining a healthy team
atmosphere, putting the team needs first, remaining
teachable and open to counseling.
We are committed to living in peace, speaking the
truth in love, and actively seek to resolve conflicts.
47. Agreement
We are committed to affirming the members of
the team both publicly and privately.
We are committed to exercise discernment which
is the ability to step-back, reflect, and listen in order
to nurture a wider awareness.
We are committed to acting in a way that honors
God and the team.
We are committed to sharing God’s unique
spiritual gifts with joy and thanksgiving with the
team.
Editor's Notes
“Act:” “something we do of our own volition”
“React:” “acting in opposition to some force or influence.” “We react when we behave in opposition to our natural behavior or in response to pressure from someone else
“Action” refers to self-differentiated behavior; “reaction” refers to other-determined behavior.
Quickly and genuinely apologize to one another when they say or do something inappropriate or possibly damaging to the team.
Openly admit their weaknesses and mistakes.
Know about one another’s personal lives and are comfortable discussing them.
Give one another the benefit of the doubt.
Tap into one another’s skills.
Achievement oriented team members
Minimizes individualistic behavior
Enjoys success
Avoids distractions
Willing to make sacrifices (such as budget, turf, head count) in their departments or areas of expertise for the good of the team.
Morale is significantly affected by the failure to achieve team goals.
Team members are slow to seek credit for their own contributions, but quick to point out those of others.
Team members are passionate and unguarded in their discussion of issues.
Team meetings are compelling, not boring.
During team meetings, the most important -- and difficult -- issues are put on the table to be resolved.
Team members know what their peers are working on and how they contribute to the collective good of the team.
Team members leave meetings confident that their peers are completely committed to the decisions that were agreed on, even if there was initial disagreement.
Team members end discussions with clear and specific resolutions and calls to action.
Team members call out one another’s deficiencies or unproductive behaviors.
Team members are deeply concerned about the prospect of letting down their peers.
Team members challenge one another about their plans and approaches.