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Crucial confrontations

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This workshops lets people play with the crucial confrontation model as described by the book with that name.

Veröffentlicht in: Business, Technologie, Gesundheit & Medizin
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Crucial confrontations

  1. 1. Crucial Confrontations
  2. 2. Confrontation Acceptance Criteriagiven: a gap, broken promise, or bad behaviorwhen: I confront the personthen: problems are resolved the relationship benefitsnote: to confront means to hold someone accountable, face to face
  3. 3. PairProgramming Story
  4. 4. You work with 4 persons on a project programming gets you better results thanwhich is behind schedule and over budget. solo programming, and were until todayYou were brought in 2 weeks ago by your decided to keep doing it most of the time.manager as a technical leader, to help with Last week You had a second discussionthe project completion. The quality level with the manager about the very sameof the code is quite low. The requirement subject, without success.was: “take this legacy system and port it to Yesterday, your manager had a 1 to 1this new environment, iso-functional”. meeting with every one of you. DebriefingExplanations about what the system is with the team members today, you learnexpected to do are coming under the form that he told them as he told you: “stopof 200 bug reports. pair programming, or else I will get you offOn day 1, you proposed that all debugging, the team and retrograde you”. Every teamtesting and programming be done in pairs. member approves of pair programming,The team agreed and have been enjoying but is unwilling to take risk with his/hersome (modest) results as of today. position fighting against management.On day 3, the manager privately asked youto stop the pair programming stuff, as theproject schedule is already very late. Youtried to convince him that PP was good forthe team, to no avail.You and the team observed that pair
  5. 5. Work on me first: choose what and ifChoose a response group: “Not my problem”
  6. 6. Work on me first: choose what and ifChoose a response group: “We had it coming. Let’s get back to work”
  7. 7. Work on me first: choose what and ifChoose a response group: “We have to talk to him”
  8. 8. Work on me first: choose what and ifChoose a response group: “I have to talk to him”
  9. 9. Work on me first: choose what and ifChoose a response group: “Not my problem” “We had it coming. Let’s get back to work” “We have to talk to him” “I have to talk to him”What would you do ?How would you proceed ?
  10. 10. Signs that you’re dealing with the wrong problemyour solution doesn’t get you you wantyou’re constantly discussing the same issueyou’re getting increasingly upset ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔ ✔
  11. 11. Helpful tools to get to the right confrontationContent / Pattern / RelationshipUnbundling Consequences and IntentionsPrioritizing
  12. 12. Am I acting out my concern ?
  13. 13. Is my conscience nagging me ?
  14. 14. Am I choosing the certainty of silence over the risk of speaking up ?
  15. 15. Am I telling myself that I’m helpless ?
  16. 16. Work on me first: master my storyForm groupsOne of you: share anexperience of a gap,broken promise,bad behaviourOthers: help her stateher story, investigatingwith a curious stance
  17. 17. Am I pretending not to notice my role in the problem?
  18. 18. Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this?
  19. 19. What should I do right now to move toward what I really want?
  20. 20. Confront with safety: describe the gapgather in groupsone of you:will confrontone otherothers: help perfectingthe confrontation
  21. 21. Click
  22. 22. Click Rewind
  23. 23. Perfection Game
  24. 24. Describe the gap: games not to playSandwiching
  25. 25. Describe the gap: games not to playsurprise attack
  26. 26. Describe the gap: games not to play Charades
  27. 27. Describe the gap: games not to playpassing the buck
  28. 28. Describe the gap: games not to playread my mind
  29. 29. Describe the gap: start with safetypeople feel unsafe when you don’t respect them you don’t care about their goalsmaintain mutual respectestablish mutual purpose
  30. 30. Describe the gap: share your path END WITH A QUESTION ACTFACTS
  31. 31. Confront with safety : describe the gap
  32. 32. Confront with safety: make it easy and motivating to solve the gapgather again in groupsrecall situation #3brainstorm to find whatwould be enabling andmotivating for theperson to solve the problem
  33. 33. Making it easy and motivatingdon’t use powerexpose natural consequencesstay in dialoguedon’t misdiagnose motivation and abilityavoid quick adviceexplore the 6 sources of influence
  35. 35. Who are we..Agile Retroflection of the Day:https://twitter.com/RetroflectionAgile Calendar:http://www.hanoulle.be/calendar/My book Who is agile:http://www.leanpub.com/whoisagile/I give Free Life Time support*on anything I do (* My life not yours ) cthibaut@octo.comYves@PairCoaching.net Twitter: @TOF_Twitter: @YvesHanoullewww.hanoulle.be
  36. 36. Resources Resourceshttp://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialconfrontations_book.aspx http://www.vitalsmarts.com/crucialconversations_book.aspx http://www.mccarthyshow.com/
  37. 37. HistoryVersion 0.5 Internal text VersionVersion 1.0 Internal version with picturesVersion 2.0 XPDays Benelux 2011 1, 2 December 2011Version 2.1 Mini XPDays Benelux 2012 1, 23 April 2012