The members of Connect: Professional Women's Network share tips on how to make criticism work in your favor. To learn more and join the group for free, visit http://www.linkedin.com/womenconnect.
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Turn Criticism into Compliments
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Turning Criticism into Compliments
The members of Connect: Professional Women’s Network offer
tips on how to make criticism work in your favor.
2. Take the edge off. “Instead of using the word criticism, I call it
feedback. Some of the best feedback I ever had was given when I was not
ready to hear it. If you consistently hear the same feedback from different
sources, then people are experiencing you in a certain way. That is valuable
information to have.”
Tracy Thomsen-Copeland, Senior Manager at Capital One
3. Don’t react right away. “Listen to the criticism and check
your reaction. If a response is required, I say that I appreciate the
feedback but I need an evening to think things through. Removed
from the situation, I can think more clearly about the words and
get away from my immediate desire to justify my actions.”
Tasha Overmyer, Guest Services
4. Separate the content from the delivery. “I
think it can be helpful to recognize that there are two parts
to any message: the content and the way it is delivered.
There may well be some useful content in the message,
despite the way in which it is being delivered.”
Janice Taylor, Career Coach at Blue Sky Career Consulting
5. Ask for examples. “Early in my career, I would bristle
when criticized. As I have spent more time in Corporate
America, I take pause and really listen. I ask for examples
of areas that could have been handled differently. Truthful
data is critical, as is knowing your audience.”
Sue Soderholm, Global Compliance Management
6. Keep emotions in check. “I do my best not to go to
an emotional place, to listen deeply for what the speaker is trying
to say, ask clarifying questions and thank them for the feedback. I
then take a couple of days to reflect. In most cases, criticism has
led to my making changes that led to positive outcomes.”
Tabby Hinderaker, Founder, dailyARC Coaching and Consulting
7. …Or let the emotions flow (privately).
“What I‟ve learned to do is allow that emotion to come, sit on it for
a bit, and force myself to think about how what they‟re saying
might be true.”
Katrina Holland, NAACP Portland
8. Seek mutual understanding.
“I turn criticisms into
positives by looking at them from the other person‟s perspective
and helping them understand (if applicable) that the context
they‟re seeing me in is limited and that I would love for them to
see a different view („Let‟s go to lunch so we can get to know one
another better.‟)”
Natasha Call, Investor Relations Consultant, Graphic Designer
9. Be proactive about asking for feedback.
“I‟ve learned to seek input on an article, plan or project
before completion. Somehow, that removes a bit of the
sting. I‟ve approached it with an open mind for input, so in
my mind it‟s not criticism when it‟s delivered.”
Jo Ann Livingston, writer/journalist
10. Move forward. “Taking a deep breath, saying
something like „I hear what you‟re saying. I want to be able
to correct this,‟ and asking what you could do differently is
always a proactive way of handling harsh criticism.”
Sherry Shrallow, Licensed Clinical Social Worker
11. Ask for advice. “If you need to respond immediately,
say „I can understand how you would see it that way. Here‟s
my thought process (explain yourself). Although my intent
may have been in line with yours, my execution obviously
wasn‟t. From your perspective, what could I do better?”
Hilary Murdock, Professional Dot Connector
12. Think it through.
“1) Above all, do not get mad, and do
not cry. If you need to, do it when you‟re alone; 2) Forcibly destress: vigorous exercise helps you sort your thoughts; 3) When
you‟ve calmed down, consider whether the feedback has ever
been echoed by someone else. If so, there might be validity to
the criticism.”
Mary Barton, Vice President, Employee Engagement
13. Make a choice. “Although criticism may sting, we
have two choices: 1) dwell on it and believe it or 2) try to
look at it objectively, decide if it has any truth and, if it does,
work to improve. Criticism for me has always been a
catalyst to hone my skills in a positive and productive way.”
Ruthie Owen, Event Planner and Fundraiser Coordinator