Far away from Eden Ep.9.1.: RECAP!
Description: Chapter 9.1. of my Far away from Eden - Apocalegacy: Finally - I did a Recap! Yay me! ;)
Family Name: Miscas
Lot Name: 2 x 1
Categories: Komödie,Lebensgeschichten der Sims,Science Fiction/Fantasy

Far away from Eden, Episode 9.1.:
RECAP! - a summary of the chapters 1-8
of the 'Far away from Eden'-Apocalegacy;
Alternative title: the R(a)ising ;)
Rules for the Legacy and Apocalypse
Challenge can be found at
www.legacychallenge.com;
Great stories and legacies can be found at
www.boolprop.com.
Handicaps used in this apocalegacy: the
Apocalypse (obvious), Do it Yourself,
Noble Composure, Fearless, Matriarchy,
Aspiring to do it the hard way, True Love,
Presidential Physical Fitness, Free
Roaming Ghosts, Storyteller,
International Turmoil

Location: House of the all-powerful, yet
merciful, though currently absent
Sonicdude, temporarily stationed in the
'Far away from Eden'-neighborhood;
Time: early evening.

"... and the big bad wolf, instead of
running to the house of the old,
scrawny grandmother, attacked Red
Riding Hood, ripping big pieces out of
her with his big, sharp claws and big
sharp teeths, spraying blood all over
the path, and then..."

"...ehr, Lilith?"
" Wassup, Mrs. 'Dude?"
"... Christina, the name's Christina,
Sonicdude is my father... uhm, do you
really think, that's how the story
goes?"
" Well, I used a bit imagination to
make the story more exciting..."
"... well, whatever, I think it's time
anyway for my little Damien to go to
bed and..."

" NAY, NAY, NAY!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
" OH NO! NOT AGAIN THE CRIB!"
" ... *sigh*... told you so...
demonspawns never like to go to
bed... now, now, Damien, calm down,
if Mommy doesn't like the story,
Nanny Lilith will tell you another
one... how about 'How the children
played butcher with each other'?* It's
a great story, where..."
----
*this story - written down by brother's
grimm - really exists!

" STOP! NO MORE! I FORBID YOU
TO TELL ANY MORE OF THESE
CRUEL STORIES TO MY SON!"
" *Sigh*... you humans and your
strange ideas... if I'd wanted to tell
him cruel stories, I'd just read the
newspaper to him..."
" YOU... just, just stay away from him,
Lilith, just stay away..."
" Okay, okay, you're the boss, Mrs.
Du... Christina. Just yell, if he's going
to do the scene from 'the exorcist' on
you again... I'm going to make a
sandwich..."

"... Okay, Damien, if you really want
to hear another story, Mommy will
tell you one, about a big, wonderful
garden, where the sun always shines,
where all the animals live in peace
and where everyone is friends with
each other, a garden called..."

... Eden."*
------
*insert soft sounds of air rustling through
the branches, babbling of a brook, birds
singing... *YAWN*...

" In the center of this wonderful garden
grew a big apple tree with lots of big, red,
juicy apples. In order to protect the tree
from any harm, a beautiful dryad, a tree
spirit, watched the tree day and night, so
no one could steal the big, red, juicy
apples..."

"...until one day, a strange object landed
in the garden. It was a time capsule from
the future, and out of it came a big, mean -
yet handsome - robot, who was ordered to
destroy everything around him,...
including the beautiful appletree with the
big, juicy, red apples..."

"... but the beautiful dryad wasn't afraid
of the big mean - yet handsome - robot, so
they both fought for a long, long time with
each other, till they were too exhausted to
fight anymore..."

"... just then, the big, mean - yet
handsome - robot realized, how beautiful
the beautiful dryad was, and the beautiful
dryad thought, that the big, mean - yet
handsome - robot looked rather...
handsome... so instead of fighting with
each other any longer, they fell in love
with each other..."

"... and soon had a little daughter, who
they called Anais, Anais Eden, like the
wonderful garden they lived in... and they
all lived happily ever after...."

"...the End. Well, Damien, wasn't that
a wonderful story mommy told you?"
" Chris? Just to inform you... I wanted
to make myself a sandwich in the
kitchen, but it seems, that the kitchen
just evaporated itself... I've never seen
such a strong reaction from a
demonspawn before... what have you
told him?"
" *Snif*... what am I doing wrong? All
I did, was telling him about Eden
and..."

" WHAT?! Girl, are you insane?
Telling a demonspawn about Eden is
like... like... heck, even I can't think of
a more boring, stupid and awful place
than... it's a miracle, that he hasn't
desintegrated the whole house..."
" But Lilith, you even lived there..."
"Lived? LIVED? Heck, no, I was just
there for a few parties... you know,
kinda like those parties you humans
hold in old subway tunnels or on
graveyards... anyway, let me guess,
you told him about this green tree
hugger and her robo fetish, and of
course... gah!... 'Her'...!"

" *Snif*..."
"... okay, Damien, forget the crap
Mommy has told you, here comes the
real story..."

"... you see, this 'Anais' girl, when she
grew up, nobody liked her, not even her
parents... and she always lurked around,
spoiled everyone's mood... and than she
even dared to bewitch HIM, our powerful
master, the ruler of hell itself, the tempter
of paradise, his snakelike majesty, the..."
"LILITH!"
"... hmpff...okay, okay...after all, HE
wasn't that great, in fact, HE could be a
total dork sometimes, like when HE fell for
her..."

... and ditched ME, that..."
" For someone, who got ditched, you
still seem to think highly of HIM... 'his
snakelike majesty...'"
"Hey, HE is still HIM, and after all,
this happened a few millenia ago,
even I can't be angry that long...
though I'm still mad with HIM..."

"... and at that time, my fury knew no
limits, so I told this.... where HE could
stick all his power and might and... even
though I knew, what HE could do to
me..."
" Sorry to interrupt, but as far as I
recall, it was Anais, who caught HIM
flirting with you, and then beat HIM
up pretty bad... so if you tell me about
HIS powers..."
" HEY! Who do you believe, me or this
greenskinned, roboeyed, boyfriend-
stealing... rrrgh, just thinking about
her makes me angry again..."

"... that's why I, when she passed out
from drinking, made a fire..."

"...and burned down the whole garden,
with her and her parents and all the
stupid trees and plants and animals,
HAHAHAHAHAHARRHARR..."
"... that somehow doesn't match with
what I remember from religion
classes..."
" And that's something, I'm still
fuming about... they wrote me
completely out of the story, I didn't
even get a small role... oh well, still
better than the idea with woohooing
this ugly Adam..."

" Hey, no talk about about woohoo in
front of my son...!... and besides, I
think, you're mixing up things.. after
all, Anais survived your revenge and
you..."
" If you know so much of the story,
why don't you just tell it then?"
" Ehrm... okay. So what really
happened, was that..."

"... after you... showed HIM... he bit you,
with being a snake and all that..."

"... and made YOU the very first
vampire(!), thereby forbidding you to ever
return to hell..."
" Oh yeah, HE certainly knew how to
make someone suffer... I mean, all the
things I witnessed on earth... not to
forget all the guys, who wanted to...
well, 'stab' me... I mean, I'm the living
proof, that the Eden story was real,
and they want to kill me?!"
" Well, neither demons or vampires
are known for being nice or honest..."

"...for example, you're responsible for the
'Vampocalypse', that came about this
neighborhood..."
" Hey, the 'Vampires taking over'-idea
wasn't my idea, it was the Count, who
wanted to impress..."
" How did you even end up with
Count... Count... what is his name
actually?"
" Pfft, I don’t think even he
remembers... and I only wanted to
become 'Countess', nothing else...
believe me, if I'd known, what a
retarded idiot he is, who jumps every
chick crossing his path..."
"...like Anais?"
"... I hate you."

"Oh come on, shouldn't you be finally
over it?"
" Over it? During all the milennia on
earth, the thought, that I had killed her,
was the only thing, that hold me up... and
than she just pops out of her Robo-
Daddies time capsule directly into the
arms of this guy..."

"... who spontaneously decides to make
her the star of his legacy?! Tell me, where
is the justice in that??"
"... uhm, you know... this guy... Little
Nemo... he's actually... my father..."
" I thought, your father was Sonicdude?"
"He's my 'other' father... or perhaps my
'mother'... it's a bit complicated..."
"You know, what I always wanted to
know: why does he always wear this
stupid scuba helmet?"
" Ehrm... I don't know, he never told... he
only told me, how proud he was of
Anais..."

"...because of all the things, she reached in
college: all skills maximized, 130 best
friends(!), Gold flower, toy and robot
badge, 100 dream and 100 first dates,
around 278.000-something Simoleons,
Secret Society member, Big Sim on
Campus, perfect dancer and pool billard
player, GPA 4.0, never slept and only ate
one hotdog during the whole college
time...."
*Deadly glare*
" *Ulp*... of course, I think, he always
exaggerated..."

"... like when he said, how happy he was,
that she proposed to this highskilled, good-
looking, shmexy...ehr..."
" oh yeah, the male downtown
bimbo... Jerry, Corey, Duane...
whatever... I mean, look at this guy:
long hair, adidas-suit... what do
people see in someone like him... for
example, HE was a real... well, snake,
but this guy...?"
" Well, Jerome here made his
brothers... clones... whatever... rather
popular among apocalypse challenge
players..."

" hey, wait a minute, he wasn't the
first, there were other adidas-guys
before him... and I bet my horns, none
of them were happy about this... after
all, we're talking about a frigging
apocalypse here..."
"... or in this case, a 'Vampocalypse'?"
" For the last time: it wasn't my idea -
and certainly not my fault! Anais was
the one, who the Count..."
"Yes, I know, I know: he wanted to
impress her by making everyone into
a vampire..."

"... to take over the neighorbood... and
then he burned all books about vampires,
devastated all non-spooky buildings and
killed all the plants, to destroy all the
garlic... seriously, how could he do that?
Garlic doesn't look like trees or bushes at
all, what was he thinking?"
"Well, of course, what he usually thought:
nothing!"
"... but you still helped him."
" Hey, humans treated me bad all the
time... an eye for an eye..."

"... of course, If I'd known, that he did it
for 'her', I'd finished, what I started back
in Eden: kill her! The only condolescence I
had, was, that she showed him the door,
when he made her 'his eternal
bride'...Stupid..."
" Why didn't you just kill her then? You
had a whole army!"
" And she had 'bestfriended' nearly
everyone of them! What could they do -
hug her to death?"
" Well, seems like she was really lucky
then..."

"... like when she found and topped her
career of choice: Showbusiness!"
" Oh for the hate of... who has ever heard,
that becoming a Show Icon could save the
world?"
" Well, she definitely learned, how
refreshing dates and outings were... and
the vampire hunter movies she made..."
" Come on, the movies were horrible!
Stabbing people with Anemia and dental
anomalies... that's just cruel..."

"... but it paid out. People found hope
again, and Anais and Jerry..."
" One more word, and I swear, I'll eat you
alive!"
" Eh...well, anyway, so Jerry then topped
business, and they opened a barber shop at
home..."
" To give everyone the worst makeovers
ever for overpaid prices..."

"... and then one day, a stork flew to
their home..."
" Oh please, who in the world still
thinks, that the stork brings the
babies? That's how it's done: you sit in
a hottub for a while, then all gets
blurry, and then somebody says
'Woo..."
" I told you, no talk about woohoo in
front of my child!"

" So in the end, Anais and Jerry had three
wonderful children: Alexandré, heiress
Amaryllis and little Antoine..."
"Like parents, like children - rotten
brats to the core..."
" Now, that's not true... besides,
shouldn't demons prefer brats over
well-adjusted, nice children?"
" Demons - hate - all - children! Why
do you think, your child's father left...
hell, I wouldn't be here, if I didn't
need the money..."
" That's cruel...I hope, my Damien will
never end up like you... and don't tell
me, it's genetic..."

" ... I mean, take Alexandré for example -
good looking and skilled, that he was,
you'd think, he'd turn into an arrogant,
narcissistic big meanie..."

"... but instead, he became a kind and
gentle man, who never could hurt a fly,
tried to comfort everyone and never used a
bad word..."

" Stop! You're making it sound, as if
he'd been a Saint... the truth is, that he
was as twofaced as the rest of his
family..."

"... for instance, he had more girlfriends
then I fingers on my hands..."
"... not true, it were only seven, not
counting his teenage... I mean..."

"... and then he even became a criminal
mastermind..."
"But only to help his family... and it was
his father Jerry, who really pulled the
strings in the underworld, he was only the
cover..."
" So not only he was a mere puppet, he
even needed Daddies help to get anything
done..."

"... no wonder, he finally killed himself."
" No, he didn't! There is no proof! It
could have been an accident by any
means!"
"Woah... don't loose your head, girl... how
should I know, that you're in the 'Alex'-
Fanclub...?"

"... but I think, Damien gets the point...
being good never leads to any good,
while evil gets you everywhere..."
" That's... that's a Lie! Alex had a good
life, and so did his brother and
sister..."
" And why's that? Because, unlike
him, they never tried to be such do-
gooders..."

"... take his sister Amaryllis for example.
She was a naughty girl... her life mainly
circled around three things: fashion..."

"...boys..."

"... and making money, not neccessarily
in that order - from what I recall, she even
sold dates with her brother Alex to the
highest bidder..."

"... and now you're trying to create a
wrong image here... true, she liked to
dress up, to be popular with the boys,
to be freaking rich... but who doesn't?
I seriously wouldn't mind..."
" Neither do I... doesn't change the
fact, the she was a..."
" No, she wasn't! In fact, I know on
good authority..."

"...that she was even blessed by
Rubbersushi, the Grilled Cheese Deity
herself!"
" Oh glorious wonder! A self-proclaimed
goddess blessing the bearer of future
evil..."
"... you just had to bring that up, do you?
After all, it wasn't her fault, you can't
held her responsible for what happened..."

"... I mean, who could have foreseen that?
Amaryllis was always there to suport her
family, even when she was busy topping
the adventure career..."

"... and I always thought, that she and
Benjamin Long made a wonderful
couple..."
" Oh please, the only reason, why she
married him, was because he was a
general and would lift military - heck,
they moved him in, when she was a
baby..."
" So what? They were still wonderful for
each other, and you're just angry
because..."

"... he recruited a resistance of friendly
vampires, that crashed you and the
Counts troops..."
" IT - WEREN'T - MY - TROOPS, - IT -
WERE... oh, forget it..."

"... and their children were as pretty as
their mother, Beatrice and the little Brian,
who..."

"... okay, okay, you've made your
point clear - you're totally Pro-Eden!
That's fine with me, as long as you
pay me for listening - can we now
drop the topic?"
" I'm not 'Pro'-Eden - but you're the
one, who is totally opposed to them!
Just because you think, Anais stole
HI... I mean your boyfriend..."
" Who said, I'm opposed? True, I don't
like Anais, and I don't like kids... so
much, but I have nothing against her
family in general..."

"... for example, I found her son Antoine
kinda cute..."
" Let me guess, it's because of his...
personality?"
" If you mean, because he was able to
build snowmen with horns - no, it's not
that..."

"... in fact, his grumpiness was the least
likeable about him... or that he never
seemed to smile..."

"... I mean, have you ever watched him
smile? When I met him first, I thought,
the edges of his lips were weld to his
chin..."

" Oh, he does smile... well, not often,
but occasionally, for example..."

"...when Ayn was born."
" Who in the world is Ayn?"
"She's the first kitten born in the Eden
household, and he was totally happy... in
fact, I think he prefers the contact with
animals over humans..."
"Well, he topped education, so who can
blame him... most people going to hell are
idiots..."

"Really?"
"Of course! Never thought, that School
felt like hell? Well, it does, but this time,
the idiots have to stay and repeat classes
forever..."
" Out of curiosity...Is there a hell for cats,
too?
" Yes, but it's outsourced from regular
hell... in fact, it runs under the name
'Dog's heaven'..."
" Well, I guess, Ayn and her parents, Rafi
and Lucy, won't go there then... they all
topped and lifted their respective pet
careers..."

"... and Ayn has already a litter of kittens
herself... awww, don't you just love
kittens, too? I always wanted to have a
kitten..."
"... and ended up with a demon's child."
" OH, YOU...."

"Relax, Girl, I know, how... 'hot' these
guys are, hehe... Tell me, how you
met..?"
" I... don't wanna talk about it..."
" Oh, come on..."
" NO! Besides, you still haven't
explained, how you met Antoine..."
" Oh, you mean... hahaha, no it wasn't
that... true, I found him cute, but I just
needed his help for a... technical
problem..."

"... and believe me, I had to pay dearly for
it... the prices they have at their electronic
shop.."
" That's all? You bought electronics from
him? What for?"
" Well, Albert needed them..."
" Who is Albert?"
" The son of my former minions, Gerd
and Lucy..."
" What? Who? I don't get it..."

" *Sigh*, okay, let's start from the
beginning... you see, while the Count
started his stupid vampocalypse, I made
myself a minion, Lucy, a female geek..."

"... who I ordered to seduce Gerd Gieke,
the Geek from the OFB Add-On..."
" Why?"
" I'm coming to that..."

...anyway, things didn't work out quite,
as I hoped... like when Gerd constructed a
weather machine..."
"Wasn't that the one from the Seasons
Add-On?"
" It was actually the prototype...!...Just
had a little flaw..."

"... once activated, the winter wouldn't go
anymore..."
" So this caused the Ice age? I always
thought, this was just because the rules
for the apocalypse challenge were
updated..."

" *Shhht*... stop breaking the fourth
wall, girl..."
"Uh, sorry... anyway, now what does
that to do with you buying... Ahhh, I
get it, you wanted to end the ice
age...but you've also started it, so
why...?"
" Oh please, don't be silly. I don't care,
if the neighborhood gets frosted... the
weather machine just proves, that you
have to restrain your geeks. Luckily,
he didn't build a doomsday
machine..."
" So why...?"
" Shut up and listen...!"

"... see, I've planned this from the
beginning, long before Uranium
Apocalypso, showed up, but... lets just
say, it was the last straw, when the Count
fell for her, with hook, line and sinker..."
"... I didn't know, you still had feelings
for..."
" Are you insane? I don't have feelings
for this retard, never had, I just kept him,
so I didn't had to deal with the other
vampiric dumbasses, but this ugly
frogface just put me out of contention..!"

"... and while he happily became her pet,
she started managing things in the
neighborhood..."

"... like capturing your father-momma-
whatever Helmet guy..."
"Oh yes, it's terrible, they still don't
know where the real Nemo is..."
" The 'real' Nemo?"
" It's..."
" ... complicated, I know, you said
that...anyway..."

"... since she wasn't satisfied with that,
Uranium started inviting villains and bad
guys from all dimensions and legacies...
said something about making the
neighborhood a 'breeding ground of
evilness'...if you ask me, with 'breeding
ground', she meant..."
" EEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!! Please
don't put that image in my mind...!"

"... and finally, she even ordered her son
Plutonium to capture members of the
Eden family, to control this legacy..."
" Yes, I remember that... but I think, it
was a bit different, he..."
" Pfft, details, details... to make a long
story short, despite her ugliness, Uranium
knows, how to run her minions... and I...
well, I felt declassed and humiliated, so I
left... there, I said it, happy?"

" Yes... I mean No, why should I...?"
" Oh come on, admit it, you liked it,
when I told you, that I sucked big
time by keeping control of the mess
we're now in...!"
" First: don't confuse me with you, I'm
not taking delight from other people's
failures. Second, I also understand,
that you needed to get this off of your
chest, that you su... ehrm, and third,
after all, Uranium sucked as well in
the end, right? Like when she..."

"... put the Count out of contention as
well, because she became so annoyed with
him..."
" Hehehe, yeah, so deserved that...though
I think, he never was in it in the first
place..."

"... but she couldn't keep Fath.. Moth..
Nemo out of the picture... there are now
dozends of doublegangers of him out
there..."
"... this is something I haven't quite
grasped yet... so the 'real' Nemo is still
trapped, while his... doublegangers... what
are they...?"
" Let me explain: Simselfs are able to
make doubles of themselves, who have the
ability to travel to other neighborhoods
and legacies. And while Uranium was
able to capture the 'real' Nemo, his
doublegangers could break out. Sadly,
they lack the power of a real Simself, so
confronting an evil Alien with a horde of
vampires and villains... plus they seem to
have lost memory of the 'real' Nemo's
prison... still, they persuaded other
Simselfs to come to help..."
"... and which one of them is now
your...?"

"... you mean, from which one I...descend?
Okay, I'll tell you... so, one of the
doublegangers landed in the neighborhood
of my father, Sonicdude, the omnipotent,
all powerful, yet merciful... ehr, anyway,
my dad likes to do Experiments, so he...
impregnated the doubleganger with his
Genetics - result, me."
" Wow, I thought you were a freak, but
such a freak...."
" Hey, if you think, I'm weird, look at my
half-sister Rose... Dad actually created her
by impregnating the Nemo-Doubleganger
with himself!"
" HAHAHA, this gets better by the
minute... and what happened then?"

" What do you mean, what happened?
Nothing happened, that's all..."
" Come on, it just started to get
interesting... how did you 1.) end up
here, 2.) with a demonspawn and 3.)
what happened to the other wacko's
of your family?"

" I told you, I don't want to talk about
it... I've already told too much
anyway..." *
" So what's the big problem then?
Might as well tell the rest..."
" Gnnnh, okay... but just because
there's no psychiatrist currently
available..."
---
* For anyone, who wants to know
more, read SonicdudeP's 'Valistor
Legacy' (sadly discontinued).

"... so after my Dad heard from the
Doubleganger, what was going on in the
'real' Nemo's neighborhood, he
immediately came here... to join forces
with Uranium..."
" WUAHARHARHAR... fantastic! I
should be angry, but this just is too damn
funny...!"
" I'm sorry, but I can't share your sense
of humour..."

"... because when it became clear, that
Uranium didn't want to share power...
well, she kicked him out, and who do you
think, he took his anger out...?"
"
HARHARHARHARHARHUAHUAHU
AHEHEHEHE... *pants*...."
" THIS - IS - NOT - FUNNY !!!!"
"... oh, but it is, it is... and what happened
then?"

"... well then... then Dad decided, that if
Uranium doesn't want to share, he will
conquer the neighborhood with an army of
zombies and kick her out instead..."
" Aaaah... so that's, where all the zombies
just came from... "
" Yes, and on top of that, he wanted to
have dancing zombies, you have no idea,
how hard it is, to get..."
" Dancing zombies? What kind of army
should that be?"
" An army, that can dance the 'thriller'...
don't ask..."*
-----
Since so many liked this part: to see the
dancing zombies, watch Chapter 6.1. ;)

" Thankfully Dad finally got bored with
his idea to conquer the neighborhood, and,
since Bon Voyage came out, he decided to
take a vacation..."
" Wait, may I venture a guess? The
location you travelled, was... hot?"
" That was exactly, what he told me too -
but to think, that he meant, we would take
our vacation in HELL... and then we even
met the owner..."

"... and the future father of your child,
may I presume...?"
" STOP - IT... It was the most horrible
experience of my life, it was...!"
"...actually really good, wasn't it, hehe? "
"... well... yeah, it was... but I still said
'NO' first ..!... besides, more important
was, that my Dad and... 'HE' were
bargaining over the hell itself, when Dad
let slip, that he knew, where the girlfriend
HE couldn't forget, was..."
" HIS girlfriend?... Did... did he mean
me??"
" No, HE meant Anais, but then you
appeared out of nowhere and blurted the
location out..."
" A-N-A-I-S!!!!" *sounds of breaking
furniture and creaking walls*

" HEY, this goes directly from your
paycheck...!... oh, and Damien, honey,
I hope, you don't think, that... I mean,
your daddy and I, we really liked each
other... we just had some differences,
so... I hope, that one day, when you
find a nice girl or boy you'll love very
much, you'll treat her or him nicely...
and at least ask, before you kiss her or
him... even if you're such a great
kisser like... I mean, I... *sigh*... let's
talk about this again, once you're
older, okay?"
" ANAIS, ANAIS, ANAIS, ANAIS...
ARRRRGGHHH!"
" Now that's enough... stop it, Lil'! I
know, you're angry, but hey, life isn't
a piece of cheesecake! Look for
example Uranium..."

"... just when she wanted to start her...
brrrr... 'breeding ground of evilness'...
suddenly Malcolm Landgraab appeared,
the rich guy from OFB, who's also the
antagonist in Michellefobbs 'Planetary
Apocalypse' - and just like Uranium here,
had captured the Simself of his
neighborhood - and wanted a piece of the
evil cake..."

"... and fortunately or unfortunately, he
could pay better, so the villains left... and
to answer your question in advance: No,
it wasn't because all these subplots and
the used CC started to slow the challenge
down too much...*cough*cough*..."

"... which, of course, drove Uranium over
the edge. At least her reaction was a bit...
extreme... she dropped a bomb on the
Landgraab manor and... well, it solved the
villain problem..."
" H-Hey! What's that?"
" What's what?"
" You said 'she dropped a bomb on the
landgrabb manor', but... it also took out
the house next to it, see?"
" Yeah, so..? What's so important about
this...?"

" Oh, nothing except... I was in that
house then!"
" WHAT?!"
" This was the hideout of my Minion
Albert I told you about... I visited him,
to look, how far he got with the
project, for that I had bought the
electronic parts from Antoine..."

"... and to my astonishment, he had made
a breakthrough: he really had built a time
machine!"
"A... time machine? You wanted...?"
"... a time machine, correct. Hey, I have
lived through humanities entire history
and I didn't liked it a bit... now I just
wanted to go back and..."
"...kill Anais, right?"

" Right, and of course, correct the failure I
made to anger my boyfriend... and I would
have succeeded, if this idiot Albert
suddenly hadn't decided to kill ME to
avenge his dead parents...!"
"... don't tell me you killed them..."
" Of course! They produced an ice age,
they didn't succeed building a time
machine... I made the failure once to rely
on a retarded idiot, never again..."

" Of course, I'd never imagined, what
he had in store to kill me...!"
"And that was...?"
" A friggin killer android! He created a
friggin killer android! And the worst
of it: I knew him... 'it'... whatever..."
" You don't mean...?"
" It was Anais's Father! Albert had
created $%&€ Anais's father to..."
"...and then ?!!!"

"... then the world went 'BOOM'!"
" Wow, How big are the odds, that at the
same time, while an angry evil alien drops
a bomb to kill a bunch of villains that left
her for a better payment, a mad scientist,
who created a time machine, orders a
killer android, that is supposed to the
father of the girl, who snatched away your
boyfriend, who is... well, it sounds really
improbable..."
" Are you finished? Cause now comes the
best..."

"... because the whole situation had at
least one positive Outcome: After so many
millenia, I was finally a demon again!"
" Yes, that's what I'm asking myself for
the whole time, how...?"
"You accepted, that I was the Countess
once, but didn't mind the fact, that... oh,
never mind... anyway, Albert explained it
with 'time machine energy gone haywire'-
technobubble..."

"Albert survived the crash, too?"
" Not only that, but he changed back to a
kid, his parents became alive again and..."
" Awwww, that's so cute... finally a
happy end somehwere..."
" Bah, disgusting... I can't tell this story
to anyone, everyone'll think, I'm making
this up..."

" So, now you've heard it all... story of
my life: Demon, first vampire,
Countess, bombing victim - and now a
babysitter for a demon spawn... yep,
I've seen everything..."
" Oh, I think, you made the best out of
it, Lil', really..."
" Hm, you can say that... at least I
never made the failure to get stuck
with a kid...brrrr..."
" Are you talking with me? Then let
me tell you, that there's no greater
joy..."
" Oh please, spare me the propaganda!
But you've seen, what happens, when
we fall for the wrong guy..."

"...like our dear heiress Amaryllis, when
she met Plutonium..."
" Yes, I bet, that was a great surprise for
everyone... instantaneously three bolts at
first sight... but he really has a certain
charme..."
"... you're kidding... and before you tell
me the 'She bravely seduced him to free
her poor captured family relatives'-story,
may I remind you, who you're talking
to..."

"... really, I had no pity for her, when her
husband found out... especially biting her
felt soo good... should have done that to
HIM, after HE cheated on me..."
" I found it kinda sad... I mean, she still
loved Ben... he should have tried to forgive
her..."
" WHAT? The whole evening you've
repeatedly told me, how awful it is to be
bad and evil, and suddenly..."
" To err is human, to forgive divine..."
" 'to forgive is divine' - wow, that's a
great way to justify it, if spouse cheats on
spouse..."

"... Spouse kills himself..."

"... and spouse gets pregnant with the
child of the one-night stand, which will
later develop into..."

" OKAY, okay... look, I don't say, what
Amaryllis did, was right... and I don't
know, how I'd acted in Benjamins
place - besides, it's still not clear, if it
really was a suicide - but..."
" No, no 'But's this time! I'm right, and
you know it, and not just because the
'It's not like I've slept with her/him'-
excuse doesn't even apply here...!"
"...but your 'Harhar, I'll kill the girl, her
parents and burn down Eden'-excuse
did, what?"
"..."
"Sorry, that was a low blow... but still,
Amaryllis isn't a bad person, perhaps
a bit careless, who isn't..."

"... but at least, she knows, where her
responsibilities were... in the end, she
cared so well for her daughter Bethany as
well as her other children..."

"... they've never lacked anything - aside
from the obvious apocalypse restrictions...
both Beatrice and Brian made it to
college..."

"... where Beatrice managed to befriend
the zombies, like her grandmother Anais
did with the vampires, and became a
popular rockstar among them..."
"... dancing zombies."
" I beg your pardon?"
" Your Daddy wanted dancing zombies,
isn't that right? Now she... you know, the
longer I think about it, the more my mind
resents it, it's all just too unlikely..."

"..aand... like her mom, she found love
with someone, who loved her as much..."
" Of course, 'love'... besides the fact, that
Nicolai Wood was a 'mad' scientist who -
who'd guessed? - lifted Science, chosen,
before she was even born - like her mom,
by the way - oh, and he was a devoted Loki
Beaker fan, he even made himself look like
that crazy guy from strangetown..."

"... Lilith... I think, you're just jealous... I
mean, why are you so against them? Just
because of Anais? I admit, sometimes
there were crises... but nonetheless, this
family stood together, supported each
other... for example, look at Bea's
firstborn, Cecil: he just became a child,
and he grew up in Platin - in an
apocalypse, where else do you see that..?"

"... And look, how happy 'Great-
Grandmother' Anais was, when Bea's
daughter and possible heiress Celia was
born..."

"... she even decided to have one more
child herself..."

"... whom she named Alexandré junior in
honor of her deceased son... though he was
rather a second Antoine..."

"... as grumpy and as knowledge-hungry
as his older brother... I think, you'd like
him..."

" Hold it! You're doing it again!"
" Doing what?"
" Praising the Edens, like they're some
kind of superfamily: Super-Anais,
who survived Eden and an
apocalypse, Super-Amaryllis, brave
widow and mother, Super-Bea... but
you forget to mention the skeletons in
their closet. You know my opinion
about Anais, and her daughter was a
cheater as well..."

"... and since we're talking about
cheating, what was that bit about Beatrice
and Don Zombie, the guy from Candie's
Uglacy*...?"
"...that's... that's just a rumour! My Dad
made him 'Leader' of the zombies in his
absence, and since she became popular
with her singing among the zombies, he
became her manager... they're just good
friends, nothing more...!"
"... and singers are of course well-known
for their fidelity..."
----
Don Zombie from Candie's Uglacy - if
you don't know him, you're probably
braindead... ;)

"... so I guess, this photo is just a fake,
hmm?"
" *Gasp* - where... where did you get
THAT?!"
" Sweetie, yellow press was invented in
hell - I'd have joined, but they didn't buy
the story, that I wasn't underaged, but a
millenia-old ex-Countess... go figure..."

"... that's, why I also know, that her
brother Brian got a face surgery and got
himself a deadly disease from a wolfbite..."
" Now that's not true...!"
"... but it sells."

"..as well as the fact, that he became a
rather nasty rowdy...beat his own uncle
up..."
" That's... that's totally out of the
context! His uncle Antoine wanted to be a
werewolf his whole life, he just..."
" Who'd you think, do the people believe,
you or what was printed?"

" Uuugh... fine! You win! So this
family isn't as brave and admirable as
I thought... happy now?!"
" Yep!"
"... yep? That's it? No 'I didn't meant it
that way'...?"
" Nu-uh, it's exactly as you said: the
Eden's are neither adimrable nor
brave nor anything..."

"... in fact, the current mess we're in, is
all their fault... instead of making
things better, their presence made
everything worse... "
"... but, but... how could they've
foreseen...?"
" This is not about to forsee
something, it's about the Eden's
himself... their whole family seems to
attract misery, and in combination
with their success, it multiplies...
indefinitely..."

"... and now it has finally culminated... in
her!"
" But Bethany..."
" it's Bethoria now... and while I should
be delighted as a demon and hunted Ex-
vampire, that the human (and any other)
species will have lots of problems soon, I
have to admit..."

"... I'd never thought, that the little
brainwashing her father Plutonium and
Granny Uranium did to her..."

"... would turn a frightened little girl..."

"... into a psychopathical angel of death,
who made slaughtering people her
hobby!"
"...uuuh, I'm getting goosebumps from
your talk..."
" I guess, that's because... even I'm a bit
scared. And I've dated HIM Himself...
but this girl...a lot of people have tried
world conquest, but she... she seems more
powerful, than either of us can imagine..."

"... far more powerful..."
"Brrrr...oh yes, the army, she started to
create from the people she killed, looked
really frightening... and her sign...not to
forget the clones, she made of herself, like
in 'Matrix'.... thankfully she hasn't
attacked us yet..."
"... and hopefully she'd already killed her
family, at least it would make my day..."
" She wouldn't dare...!"
" Who would stop her... or better: who
could stop her now, hm?"

"... ... Snuggles could!"
" Who?"
" Agent Snuggles from Blueberries
'Bearly alive'-apocalypse..."
------
* Blueberrypie360's 'Bearly alive
apocalypse' - read it, and - beware of the
weasel!

"... with her secret mission to find the
'real' Nemo, the creator of this apocalypse
- I bet, if she can find him, Bethoria can be
stopped!"
" Oh Joy and Hell-a-luja, we're saved...
ups, no - because, if her mission is so
secret, how do you know about it?"
" Ehrrr..."
" And even if she doesn't get killed first,
what should your Mommafatherclone's
original scuba boy do, hm? Swing his
magic snorkel and turn Bethoria and her
soldiers into mushrooms?"
"Eh... I don't know... but I think, Agent
Snuggles will save the day... she's an
agent, after all, and she sure has a
superduper team of skilled experts, that
can help her with that agent stuff..."

Somewhere else, Location unknown, time
unknown:
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
HHH....When does this fall through
this white mist stuff ever
end..?..Mommy...!!!"
" ...And I especially hate you, Count,
you and your stupid 'I love you, I love
you'... and I hate your servants, those
runways from the Rocky Horror
Show... and I hate... okay, I don't hate
you, Jack Sparrow, but if you ever try
again to hold on my b... OW, and I
hate this stupid talking stilt made of
hardwood, who wants to become a
pirate... and I hate, hate, hate this
stupid potty god and his stupid,
stupid god trial we're flushed to...
damn, I hate my life!!! This is all the
weasels faulllllllllT!!!!"

"... Awww, look, he's finally fallen
asleep..."
" Whew, took long enough... it's
almost dawn... at least it looks so
outside..."
" *YAWN*... whatever, I'm going to
bed too, now... can you put him into
the crib then, Lil' "
" Kay, Chris, pleasant dreams... oh,
and if he tries to kill you in your
dreams again, just scream..."
" Uuuh...."
to be continued...

Location: Far away from Eden -
neighborhood, the new Observation deck
of Beth... Empress Bethoria, soon-to-be
ruler of all simkind, time: now:
... so, general Dutchie... are we finally
ready?
" YES, EMPRESS..'ES... EVERYTHING
WENT ACCORDING TO YOUR
WISHES; WE'VE SLAUGHTERED
EVERY REMAINING SIM IN THIS
NEIGHBORHOOD AND
INCORPORATED HIM INTO YOUR
ARMY..."
*Sigh*... it would've taken too much
time, but... I'd loved to kill them all
by myself...
"... FORGIVE ME EMPRESS... IF YOU
WANT, YOU CAN TORTURE ME
INSTEAD LATER...!"
Goood Dutchie...well then, show me
the goodies!
" SOOOOLDIEERRS..."

"...'SHUN!"
Huh? that's it? That's all? All I - We -
see, is a lot of horizont... and my - our
- evil tower looks a bit off, doesn't it?
Well, must be the weather...
" UHHH... FORGIVE ME, EMPRESS...
WE TRIED OUR BEST, BUT... EVEN
300 SOLDIERS ON ONE LOT DON'T
LOOK THAT IMPRESSIVE, BUT
NEARLY MADE THE COMPUTER
GO BOOM, SO WE HAD TO
IMPROVISE... AND AN IMPRESSIVE
HORIZONT MAKES UP FOR
THAT..."
Oh..!..Well, Never mind... Okay,
Soldiers, instead of a long 'The
Empress smiles at you'-speech just...
Go! Kill everone! Set the world in
flames...!...
hehehehahaharharharharHARHARH
ARHARAHR!!!!"
to be... ever finished..?