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Localanswer wedding2011
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Unit 9

  1. 1. WEDDING TRADITIONS & ETIQUETTES Everything You Need To Know Before Getting Married!
  2. 2. Some issues that may arise during the initial stages of planning your wedding may be due to lack of knowledge to do with traditional wedding customs or disagreement as to what traditions are necessary or relevant to your wedding. Discussions may come up during conversations within the family or with close relatives and/or future in-laws and this Ebook will help you to prepare for these conversations. *** This Ebook will explain the traditions of weddings and help you and your partner to decide what you may want to incorporate into your wedding. You do not have to follow this Ebook step by step, by all means this is totally your wedding and every wedding is unique. This is just a basic guideline to help you along the way.
  3. 3. Wedding Budget Who is Paying for What? This is a big question and is usually one of the first to come up during the conversation of the newly engaged couple and the family of either the bride/groom or both. Traditionally, as to generally what people understand, the bride's family must pay the majority of the wedding budget. However, this rarely applies these days as people are marrying older and have more money saved up, but it is interesting to note all of the costs that the bride and her family were once held responsible for. Please remember: This is all based on traditional etiquette of the wedding budget and does not have to be followed. The Brides family would traditionally pay for the following: • All Reception Costs • Church or Ceremonial hire fees • Grooms Rings • Invitations • Flowers (including ceremony & reception) • Music for the Ceremony • Transportation for the Bridal Party
  4. 4. Wedding Budget Continued… The Grooms family would traditionally pay for the following: • Brides Rings • Clergy Fees • Bridal Bouquets, Corsages and Boutonnières • Rehearsal Dinners • Transportation for Groomsmen The Bridal Party traditionally pay for the following • Their own attire (Bridesmaid Dresses, heels, Accessories) • The Bridal Showers, Hens Night or Kitchen Teas The Groomsmen traditionally pay for the following • Their own attire (Suits (rented or purchased), Shoes and other Accessories) • The Bucks Night These days, most newly engaged couples would pay for a lot of the above and previously mentioned items themselves. This must all be discussed with the respective parties and families and it must not be assumed that they will know what they are expected to pay for.
  5. 5. Invitation Problems If you do not want to have children involved or invited to the wedding ceremony or reception, you could possibly leave the children's names off the invitation and don't mention them throughout it. Friends and family can also pass the word around that children aren't included, but this may be difficult as they may not know every guest and some guests may not fully believe them unless it come directly from the Bride & Groom. More suggestions are when writing the invitation, you could possibly write the following: - Adult Reception - We hope that the (number of) of you will be able to join us - (Number of) seats have been reserved in your names If someone hasn't responded to an invitation, one week past the 'Reply by' date, call them. However, you may be upset or concerned, but be calm and ask politely, as the wedding may not be as important to them as it is to you, so it may have slipped their mind. Guests over the age of 18 should generally get their own invitations. This is polite, and generally, when children are this age they may already be living their own lives and not communicate with their parents in regards to their whereabouts all the time. Send parents and wedding party invitations as a keepsake, but remember they don't have to reply, unless they want to. You should ensure you put a return postage on your RSVPs.
  6. 6. Guest Etiquette The following information is what you can expect from a guest who will be attending your wedding. - Guests must send back their reply before the RSVP date. - Guests who decline the invitation, do not have to send or give a gift. - If a guests arrives during or before the procession, they should wait for the bride to go down the aisle before entering. - If a guest arrives late for the ceremony (after the procession), they should walk down the outside aisle and find a seat silently and quickly. - Guests are to buy a gift for the couple and the gift should be so both can use. - Guests should've cash as a gift if the wedding is out-of- town, so they do not have to worry about transporting all their gifts home (which would or could be adding costs). - Guests are to make own lodging and transportation expenses. However, that is totally up to you.
  7. 7. Wedding Gifts Etiquette dictates that registry information shouldn't be put on the wedding invitation. It's left up to friends and family to inform everyone. However, gift information can be on an insert within the invitations. If your client has a personal wedding website with information for bridal party and guests (and gift registry information), they could include an insert with the link to their website in the wedding invitation. It is considered rude to put 'cash only gifts', or other wording meaning the same thing on the invitation.
  8. 8. Groomsmen & Bridesmaids Groomsmen The groomsmen are there to support the groom throughout the wedding planning process. They are helping through what can be a very nerve-racking day. Planning and helping to organise the bucks night and any DIY duties that may happen on or a few day prior to the wedding. Bridesmaids The role of the maid of honor and the bridesmaids is to serve the bride as their right-hand women and to assist the coordination with the other bridesmaids, of the tasks the bride is not usually involved in, such as, kitchen tea/ bridal shower and hens night. In other words, it’s not just an honorary position, but one that requires planning, attention to detail and a lot of patience.
  9. 9. Seating Plans Do not make things uncomfortable for you, or your families. Do not seat relatives together if they have bad history or are known to not get along. Try seating tables together by their relationship to the bride and groom or by age if there is a mix of relationships. The head table or bridal table is not so strict when it comes to who sits where. It is more common to have the bridal party on the table than the parents of the bride and groom, but this is totally up to what works best for your wedding. You can have all female on one side and all male on the other, or you can go boy, girl, boy ,girl. Again, this is totally up to what you decide. To make this more private, sometimes couples will have their own table for just the two of them, or have their table raised above the rest of their bridal party and guests. Remembering, that what you decide has to be able to fit in the venue and this is something you should check first before organising your seating plans.
  10. 10. Flowers & Favours Do not make things uncomfortable for you, or your families. Do not seat relatives together if they have bad history or are known to not get along. Try seating tables together by their relationship to the bride and groom or by age if there is a mix of relationships. The head table or bridal table is not so strict when it comes to who sits where. It is more common to have the bridal party on the table than the parents of the bride and groom, but this is totally up to what works best for your wedding. You can have all female on one side and all male on the other, or you can go boy, girl, boy ,girl. Again, this is totally up to what you decide. To make this more private, sometimes couples will have their own table for just the two of them, or have their table raised above the rest of their bridal party and guests. Remembering, that what you decide has to be able to fit in the venue and this is something you should check first before organising your seating plans.
  11. 11. Speech Etiquette When you have a wedding, everyone knows there will be speeches. It’s just going to happen. Whether you are confident enough to speak or to have someone dear to you, speak about you, and/or your loved one, these tips will help you make the process of this, as less stressful and nerve racking as initially thought. There is no correct order of who does there speeches, but there is a preference and an order of etiquette you could follow. 1. Best Man (toast to the couple and honouring bridesmaids; may have a joke here and there about his relationship with the groom or the couple). 2. Groom’s Parents (Usually just the father - toasting the uniting of the two families). 3. Bride’s Parents (Usually just the father - toasting towards the couple). 4. Maid of Honour (toast to the couple and honouring groomsmen; may have a joke about her relationship with the bride or the couple). 5. There are a few options in which the couple may speak; Bride and Groom together or separately; Before dinner or in-between courses; or even at the end of the night prior to their grand exit. The focus and purpose of this speech is to thank their everyone for coming and to all family, friends, organisers and planners (if you have a band or wait staff, even the chef, it is always nice to be recognised) that helped make the special day happen.
  12. 12. Wedding Cake Traditions The cakes traditional taste and richness was a symbol of fertility back in the Roman times. It is traditional for the Bride and Groom to cut the cakes first slice together to ensure a ‘fruitful’ marriage. This does not mean that you have to have a fruit cake as the flavour for your wedding cake, this is just traditional. If you have a specific flavour in mind or have a preferred taste, then you can definitely explore this. Some cake stores or venue, in which provide cakes, will allow you and your partner or family and friends to join in having a tasting of flavours to choose your ideal wedding cake flavour.
  13. 13. Cancelling or Postponing Generally the engagement ring should be returned (Not Exchanged) All the gifts should be returned with a brief explanation why it was cancelled, including engagement or pre-marital gifts. However, it is known that if a gift is engraved or personalised it doesn't have to be returned and obviously not be exchanged. Out-of-town guests should be informed first so that they can change or cancel their travel and lodging arrangements. If a wedding is only being postponed then of course every guest has to be contacted. Etiquette say that another invitation should be sent with the new date.
  14. 14. Second Marriages If the bride has been married before or has children, it's perfectly acceptable for guests to wear white. If the bride has been married before or has children, she's not supposed to wear a veil or have a train attached to her dress or carry orange blossoms. (Its a sign of purity and a virginity thing!) The second time around, parents are not obligated to pay for anything. If the bride gets along with her ex-husband and his family, and it's fine with her fiancé, then it's acceptable to invite them to the wedding.
  15. 15. -Tig Ellis, Wedding Planner “Whatever you dream, can be true. It just takes a lot of Patience and Planning” That’s what we are here to do!

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