The slides from my talk at the BIL conference on March 3, 2013.

1. How to Take Feedback
By Steve M. Friedman, MFA
stevefriedman@gmail.com
BIL Conference
Long Beach, CA
March 2-3, 2013

2. Why do we need feedback?
● As BILders, we always have projects we're
working on
● Nothing is ever perfect. This includes you and
your work
● Everyone has their own unique insights and
perspectives
● You can't smell your own farts

3. Who to ask for feedback
● Smart, helpful, diligent
● Avoid people at a lower level than you
– They'll only be able to give you very general
comments

4. Also avoid people at higher level
● Probably won't want to put in the effort to give
solid feedback
– (Unless it's an instructor you're paying to
help you)
● Sacrificing an opportunity to impress them with
your best work
● Probably more useful to ask for help in other
ways

5. Get feedback from people at about
the same level as you
● They know they can ask you for feedback at
some point, so they're more willing to put in
effort
● Can learn from each other

6. Best to get oral feedback from a
small group
● Preferable to written or one-on-one feedback
● Can build on each other's notes
● Can brainstorm solutions to problems
● Can ask questions
● In person, phone, or video-conference

7. Avoid big groups
● Dominated by the loudest members, not those
with the best ideas
● People wait to make their point, rather than
build on the conversation
● Too many cooks push you in different
directions.
● Ideal size is 2 or 3 people (plus you.)

8. Rules of Feedback
1.NEVER ARGUE
2.Remember that you want to know what's wrong
3.Reductive feedback is almost always correct
4.Additive feedback is often reductive feedback in disguise
5.Don't be afraid to ask questions
6.Don't use questions as a stealth means of arguing
7.Get feedback from multiple groups

9. Rule #1: NEVER ARGUE
● You're asking people for their opinion. They're
giving their opinion. They know what their
opinion is, so they are right and you are
wrong.
● Arguing shuts them down. Stops them from
giving more notes
● Makes them less interested in helping in the
future

10. Rule #1: NEVER ARGUE
● Arguing closes yourself down to listening
● If someone “doesn't get” something, it's YOUR
fault for not making it clear enough.
● If a comment is stupid, you can always smile,
nod, write it down, and then ignore it.
– But can usually find value in stupid comments
● Small groups can sanity-check comments

11. Rule #2: Remember that you want
to know what's wrong
● Criticism is much more valuable than praise
● You can only improve by finding the problems
● Opposite of our normal lives
– We're generally happy when people tell us we're
doing a good job, and sad or angry when people
tell us we suck

12. Rule #2: Remember that you want
Rule #2: Remember that you want
to know what's wrong
to know what's wrong
●
Avoid grade-school insistence that feedback must be positive
●
This isn't kindergarten. We aren't trying to boost our self-esteem
● Want to find out where, how, and why we suck, so we can fix it
●
Natural tendency to defend ourselves when we feel attacked
–Do not give in to this temptation
●
Make sure the people giving feedback understand this
– Pick people capable of doing it
●
People who only give positive feedback are worse than useless

13. Additive vs. Reductive Feedback
● Additive feedback is when someone tells you
you should add something
● Reductive feedback is when someone tells
you something isn't working

14. Rule #3: Reductive feedback is
almost always correct
● If someone doesn't think something works, it's
because it truly doesn't work
● They aren't just complaining to complain
– Or if they are, find better people to give you
feedback

15. Rule #4: Additive feedback is often
reductive feedback in disguise
● Additive feedback may or may not be correct
● Think about the additive suggestion. If it is a
good idea, use it.
● If you recognize reasons why it is a bad idea,
don't just dismiss it
● Often people propose an additive solution to a
reductive problem

16. Rule #4: Additive feedback is often
reductive feedback in disguise
● Natural for some people to try to fix something
that's wrong
– That's exactly the sort of person you want giving
you feedback
● Just because their solution doesn't work is not
a reason to dismiss their concerns
● Try to figure out the underlying problem

17. Rule #5: Don't be afraid to ask
questions
● Necessary to clarify confusing reductive feedback
● Helpful in finding reductive problem behind additive solutions
● You can suggest solutions that might fix the problem
● Often leads to getting more and better pieces of feedback
● If a solution you're thinking of is off-base, better to learn that
through minutes of talking than months of work

18. Rule #6: Don't use questions as a
stealth means of arguing
● You're only cheating yourself
● “Oh yeah, well...” principle

19. Rule #7: Get feedback from multiple
groups
● Especially as you move to different stages of a
project
● Avoid group-think
● People who are already familiar with your
project can become blinded to problems

20. How to deal with stupid feedback
● Sometimes someone gives you a suggestion,
and you immediately recognize it as incredibly
stupid. How do you respond?
● Argue
● Smile and nod, and then ignore it
● Really think about it

21. How to deal with stupid feedback
● If it's reductive feedback, it's almost always correct
● Did the person giving feedback miss something
obvious? Or is it not as obvious as you thought?
● In a small group, a third party can weigh in
● If it's additive feedback, try to figure out what reductive
feedback it is a reaction to
● Ask questions!
● The dog and the motorcycle

22. When do you stop taking feedback?
● Since nothing is ever perfect, could theoretically
keep taking feedback/revising for rest of your life
● If you have a deadline, then don't have a choice
● But what if you're working for yourself?
● At some point, iterations are more likely to degrade
project than improve it
● Learn to recognize when you're in an upswing

23. Weigh improvements against time
● Your time could be spent doing something
else
● Lost revenue, career opportunities, risk of
someone else beating you to the market
● Depriving the world of your creation
● When to stop is more art than science

24. Summary
1.NEVER ARGUE
2.Remember that you want to know what's wrong
3.Reductive feedback is almost always correct
4.Additive feedback is often reductive feedback in disguise
5.Don't be afraid to ask questions
6.Don't use questions as a stealth means of arguing
7.Get feedback from multiple groups