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O&B Managing for Success April 2013
- 1. Managing for Success O&B Windermere House Management Team April 18th, 2013
- 2. Whyare we here today?
- 3. Focus for today: • Delivering effective feedback • Coaching employees for success • Tackling difficult conversations • Working through conflict to reach agreement • Understand when and how to escalate issues • Become familiar with supporting tools and resources
- 4. How we derive meaning from someone 55% 38% 7% Non-verbal cues Tone of voice Words
- 5. Feedback
- 7. Recognition
- 9. Performance Discussion Guide 1. Observe Behaviours Be objective Professional (not personal opinions) Were expectations set? If not, document and share with the entire team Make sure to document SPECIFIC examples Remember to coach for good and bad 2. Determine Cause Status check Establish supportive climate; don’t skip the basics – “How are you doing?” Communicate your findings Frame your feedback, tone and gestures – “I’ve observed….” Solicit their perspective Listen and show empathy – “What are your thoughts…” 3. Communicate Expectations Review expectations Provide examples of expected performance Explain the impact of their performance on work, team Be soft on the person, hard on the problem Mutually agree that action is needed Important to acquire commitment for change 4. Create a Plan Create a plan Include specific observable measurements Offer support Decide on timeline for follow-up 5. Follow Up “Be often” with coaching and follow up
- 11. Examples of difficult conversations •Explain why someone is not getting a promotion. •Confront repeated unacceptable behavior. •Provide honest feedback on poor performance. •Respectfully challenge a colleague or customer. •Hold others accountable for their output. •Share tough decision outcome. •Delegate responsibilities instead of protecting someone’s weakness. •Discusses a “taboo” issue like hygiene or dress. •Acknowledge a mistake before being “caught.” •Thoughtfully say “no” instead of automatically saying “yes.” •Address opportunities for improvement. •Explain options in the face of adversity.
- 12. 3 Steps to approaching the difficult conversation
- 13. Step
- 14. Gain Clarity
- 15. Separate feelings from the issue I feel like saying…. I should say…. I’m sick and tired of working 70 hours a week while you guys are taking shifts every other day. You were way over your head during service and looked completely incompetent. You need to start working harder, you are lazy and I am going to have fire you if you don’t start producing. I could use more support from my co- workers as I am unable to keep up with this challenging workload. It appeared as though you were extremely busy during service. I need you to let one of your managers know when you need support – that’s what we are here for. I have noticed your performance is not meeting expectations. I need you to improve, your performance is affecting our overall team goal.
- 16. Step
- 18. Signs of Avoidance •Procrastinating without a clear rationale. –“Can’t do it today, it’s Friday!” •Ignoring or delaying important conversations. –“We’ll discuss your performance at your review time” •Sidestepping or delegating tough decisions. –“Maybe one of their co-workers will tell them” •Allowing short-term reactions to overrule long-term thinking. –“They did come in on time today, so maybe…” •Putting harmony before integrity. –“I don’t want to upset the team’s dynamics” •Blaming others (avoiding looking at self). –“I can’t believe they could not be aware they are doing a bad job” •Talking about symptoms instead of understanding the wider problem. –“Do you see this typo? And this one? And this one?”
- 21. 2.Are my feelings about what might happen making me avoid this?
- 22. 3.Is delivering this message consistent with my desired reputation?
- 23. Questions to Consider •Who am I helping? •How will I be helping them? •Will telling them this make them better in the long run? •Why am I delaying telling them this? •Will delaying telling them about this problem make it go away? •If I was in their position, would I prefer to know how I was doing or not? •How will they react? •Am I presuming I know what their reaction will be? •Is it possible that they will appreciate me telling them? •Is this something that I want to help them with? •Will they accept advice from me? •How will telling them make me feel?
- 24. Step
- 26. 2 parts
- 27. Directness
- 28. Sensitivity
- 30. Response
- 32. Response
- 33. Middle ground is: tough and compassionate
- 34. Effective Messages Direct & Insensitive Indirect & Sensitive Direct & Sensitive You’re passing the buck with the harder jobs, and you have to change. Your attitude sucks, you have to get better at working with others or else. Is there any chance there’s something here you’re not seeing? Have you thought at all about how you interact with others?
- 38. Avoid!!! •Ordering, Directing: – “You have to...” • Warning, Threatening: – “You’d better not...” • Preaching, Moralizing: – “You ought to...” • Advising, Giving Solutions: – “Why don’t you...” • Evaluating, Blaming: – “You’re wrong...” • Interpreting, Diagnosing: – “You need to...”
- 39. “You” versus “I” Statements “You” language (ineffective) “I” language (effective) You are constantly asking for exceptions when it comes to your schedule. You are continually late and you show up unprepared for your shifts. You aren’t working with this rest of the team during closing duties and you’ve managed to make them all dislike you. I see the scheduling requests being sidestepped, and I want to review with you how to go through the proper channels for requests. I have noticed that you have been showing up unprepared for your shifts, and I want to discuss how we can improve them. What do you think are necessary steps to be prepared for your next shift? I received feedback that closing duties aren’t getting everyone’s full attention and I would like to change that so that every team member is helping out. Let’s talk about how the roles and responsibilities of closing duties.
- 40. Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Gain Clarity Overrule Avoidance Execute the message Direct and sensitive; tough on performance, soft on the person Avoid excuses on why not to discuss the issue Step back to get perspective about the issue
- 42. Managing Conflict 1. Recognize you are in conflict
- 47. Conflict Management Styles Managing Conflict 2. Choose your conflict management style
- 48. Five Conflict-Handling Styles Collaborate I Win, You Win Accommodate I Lose, You Win Compromise We Both Win, We Both Lose Avoid I Lose, You Lose Control I Win, You Lose HIGH MEDIUM LOW HIGHMEDIUMLOW Importanceofrelationship Importance of outcome
- 49. Five Conflict-Handling Styles Collaborate I Win, You Win Accommodate I Lose, You Win Compromise We Both Win, We Both Lose Avoid I Lose, You Lose Control I Win, You Lose HIGH MEDIUM LOW HIGHMEDIUMLOW Importanceofrelationship Importance of outcome
- 50. Five Conflict-Handling Styles Collaborate I Win, You Win Accommodate I Lose, You Win Compromise We Both Win, We Both Lose Avoid I Lose, You Lose Control I Win, You Lose HIGH MEDIUM LOW HIGHMEDIUMLOW Importanceofrelationship Importance of outcome
- 51. Five Conflict-Handling Styles Collaborate I Win, You Win Accommodate I Lose, You Win Compromise We Both Win, We Both Lose Avoid I Lose, You Lose Control I Win, You Lose HIGH MEDIUM LOW HIGHMEDIUMLOW Importanceofrelationship Importance of outcome
- 52. Five Conflict-Handling Styles Collaborate I Win, You Win Accommodate I Lose, You Win Compromise We Both Win, We Both Lose Avoid I Lose, You Lose Control I Win, You Lose HIGH MEDIUM LOW HIGHMEDIUMLOW Importanceofrelationship Importance of outcome
- 53. Five Conflict-Handling Styles Collaborate I Win, You Win Accommodate I Lose, You Win Compromise We Both Win, We Both Lose Avoid I Lose, You Lose Control I Win, You Lose HIGH MEDIUM LOW HIGHMEDIUMLOW Importanceofrelationship Importance of outcome
- 55. Managing Conflict 3. Use tips and techniques to work in a collaborative fashion
- 56. Active Listening process of attending carefully to what a speaker is saying
- 57. Collaboration Tips and Techniques Technique/Tip When you use Restating/summarizing Shows you are listening, makes sure you are understanding Feel, felt, found Shows empathy for other party, but offers different point of view Reframing Repositions so that other party will be more likely to hear another Paraphrasing Helps clarify, shows you are listening The WIN formula Reframes attacking statements Use collaborative language Shifts the climate from conflict to cooperation and permits problem solving Move to a problem solving state Shifts focus from blame to future focused problem solving
- 58. Feel, Felt, Found The Feel, Felt, Found technique is designed to show empathy for the other party while expressing a contrary point of view. Acknowledges the other parties concerns, building rapport. Moves focus to more objective place. Provides example of how point of view changed and outcome. Feel: Start by building empathy with the other party, telling them that you understand how they feel. Felt: Then tell them about somebody who felt the same way. Found: Then tell them how that other person found that things were not so bad and that when they did what you want the buyer to do they found that it was actually a very good thing to do. Example: I understand that you feel that way about _____, in fact in the past I felt the same way about ______. After a while of doing ________, they found that it was actually a useful process . Exercise: Practice using the feel, felt and found technique in response to the following statements. 1) I am constantly getting the crappy sections for service. 2) I’m always left to clean the kitchen after all the other cooks take off – no one understands how hard this job is.
- 59. W.I.N. Formula The WIN formula is used to express your feelings in a concise, non judgmental way. Remove blame from the statement Helps to clarify your feelings and restate the conflict for the other party. Use the “WIN” formula: W = “When you…” (description of the other person’s actions) I = “I…” (the impact of that behavior on you) N = “I need…” (your needs, suggestions, plan for action) Ex: “I can’t believe this! You always ask at the last moment and then say it’s a priority.” Using WIN formula: When you ask me to do things at the last minute and tell me it’s urgent, I feel very frustrated because I can’t juggle my work like that. I’d like to be of help but I need more notice. Exercise: Reframe these attacking statements using the WIN formula. “I asked you days ago if you could cover my morning shift. You never get back to me on anything I ask you – and this was really important. You are impossible!” “I can’t believe that you said that I wasn’t pulling my weight, you don’t even know how hard I’m working!” “All you have told me so far are negatives about my performance. Do you think that’s supportive and encouraging for me? How do you think that makes me feel?”
- 60. Using Collaborative Language Turning conflict provoking language into cooperative language is a technique used to reduce the degree of conflict and move towards collaborative problem solving. Shifts focus from the persons involved to the problem at hand. Decreases the level of emotional response in the conflict. Conflict Provoking Language Makes things difficult to get accomplished Makes it difficult to create good working relationships Puts the focus on the communication, not the content Examples: Statements that include: Can’t, shouldn’t, always, didn’t- absolute statements and generalizations Personal statements– “You” statements, “this is typical”, “what I expect from you” Cooperative language A way to express ourselves that encourages people to listen, hear and work with us in cooperative ways Examples: Objective – talks about the problem or conflict, not person or the ‘presumed’ motives Asks questions—how can we solve this? Does that sound good? What do you think about? Exercise: Change as many of the following conflict provoking statements into cooperative language: The FOH team really screwed things up during service – it make the BOH team look like they aren’t doing their job. That message about being on time didn’t work the last time you tried it with the staff, why will it now? You always forget to include the BOH when setting up training - our team needs to be included as well!
- 61. Managing Conflict 1. Recognize you are in conflict – This is okay – Know you have several options for how you manage the conflict 2. Choose your conflict management style – Collaborative majority of time 3. Use tips and techniques to work in a collaborative fashion – Be an active listener – Consider other’s perspective and withhold judgment – Maintain a future focus; plan actions and solutions to win- win strategy
- 64. One-on-one’s: • Dedicated time to discuss performance and other possible issues • Good time, not a long time (10 minutes) • 3 areas of discussion: what area are they doing well in; what area do they need to improve on; are there any outstanding issues or concerns • Tracking?
- 65. 1. Click on HR Incidents 2. Create a New incident 3. Enter in drop down information 4. Create Notes on the incident Dayforce – HR Incidents
- 66. Progressive Discipline: • Counselling • Verbal warning • Formal warning • Suspension • Termination Check out OBBuzz… “Management Resources” for more tools…. Performance Recap Form
- 67. Exit Interviews – end of season
- 68. Thank You! Have fantastic, successful summer!
Editor's Notes
- - Debrief on issues that came up last year; discuss anticipated issuesGet everyone on the same page with how to approach issues when they arise this seasonMake sure everyone is set up for success this year for a great season
- Not all issues are performance related/ straight forward; some are difficult to approachWhat are some examples of difficult conversations you have had to have?
- Barriers to clear thinking: AnxietyBeing too close – step backHungry, angry, tired – calm your mind, sleep on itNot putting things in perspective – think objectively, removing your feelings about the essence of the message
- Welcome to this presentation on managing conflict. Today I’ll take you briefly through a definition of conflict, and provide you with a 3 step model on how to better manage conflict in your life.
- The first step of the model is to recognize when you are in a conflict. If you notice that you are feeling threatened, that your emotions are heightened, or that the person you are dealing with is acting defensively or being hostile- know that you are in conflict. And recognize that this is okay. Recognize that conflict is normal- it happens all the time and is nothing to worry about. The way that you react to the conflict is important- recognize that this is up to you. You have several different options for how you respond to the conflict.
- Conflict is everywhere around us. In our personal lives and our professional lives, conflict exists everywhere. From getting to work on time, to ordering a coffee, to having a meeting with a co-worker or a friend- there are hundreds of times a day that conflict is possible.
- Most people don’t like conflict. It is usually seen as something that is negative, something that is best to avoid. It is usually associated with being overly emotional, getting ‘fired up’ and losing control of your emotions or as being awkward and uncomfortable. As such, most people don’t want to deal with conflict. They would prefer to pretend it doesn’t exist, or to avoid any instance or situation that might lead to conflict.
- But stop. Could it be that conflict is actually useful? That conflict can be a good thing? Everyday when people are faced with a conflict, they have a decision to make.
- Will this conflict be a negative experience? If you go into the situation thinking that all conflicts are negative, then this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy- they most likely will be negative. If however, you are able to shift your perspective on conflict- accept that conflict is normal, it’s okay to be in conflict and that it could actually be constructive or even a positive thing.
- The way you respond to conflict is often an unconscious process. You don’t think about how you respond to someone budding in front of you- you just react. If we make our response a conscious process- then we can choose a conflict management style that is appropriate for the situation. There are lots of different conflict management styles theories out there- but most have different names for the same basic concepts.
- So- of the five styles we just covered, avoid, accommodate, compromise, control and collaborate it’s easy to see how the collaborative style is best in almost all situations that matter to you in your personal and professional life.
- For the last part of this presentation, I’ll go over a few tips and techniques that will allow you to move to a more collaborative style of conflict management. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but rather a few basic things that help.
- Active listening is a communication technique. Active listening requires the listener to understand, interpret, and evaluate what they hear. Suspending one’s own frame of reference and suspending judgment are important to fully attend to the speaker. It includes some of the techniques we are about to go over, but also subtle things like body language, eye contact and maintaining focus on the individual you are listening to. Active listening is very important, because it allows you to gain perspective on the other person’s viewpoint. Many conflicts are born out of misunderstanding, so it helps a lot if you understand what the other person is really saying.
- Here is a list of techniques and tips that can be used to increase collaboration. Rather then go over them in more detail in this presentation, I’ve just posted their definitions with some basic examples on the next few slides. As with any tips and techniques- you have to practice them to get better at them and make them useful. In our training classes, we include sample exercises to become familiar with each of these techniques.
- This brings us to our the end of our 3 step model for managing conflict. The last step is to use techniques to manage the conflict in a collaborative fashion. This means paying attention to the what the other person is saying, considering their perspective in an objective fashion while maintaining a future focus and moving towards a problem solving state. It sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? While, all the simple things in life are simple in theory and hard in practice. The first step towards improvement is making the process more conscious for you, which I hope that this slidecast has helped with.