A guide for building an effective relationship with the young people you may be called to serve or mentor. Created by Regina E. Coley, Youth Development Practitioner, Speaker and Advocate

2. SPEAK AUTHENTICALLY
Remind youth that they have trusted adultsRemind
Be truthful in sharing your storyBe
Make your sure your shares are age appropriateMake

3. SHARE YOUR
EXPERIENCES
•REMEMBER THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF
PERSONAL SUCCESS AND SHARE THE
EXPERIENCES THAT GOT YOU TO WHERE
YOU ARE TODAY
•DON’T FORGET TO SHARE YOUR HURDLES
AS WELL, THE FOCUS SHOULD ALWAYS BE
ON RESILIENT YOUTH

4. HELP
SOLVE
PROBLEMS
•ALL PEOPLE NEED HELP WITH
SOMETHING
•LISTEN TO THEIR UNSPOKEN
NEEDS AS WELL
•FORM A TEAM WHEN NEEDED, IT
TRULY DOES TAKE A VILLAGE
•LISTEN FOR UNDERSTANDING
•SPEAK SOLUTIONS

5. CHALLENGE THINKING
Help Build confidence in their abilitiesHelp
Help them Set goals and create an action planHelp
Encourage them to try something newEncourage
Recommend learning resources like ted talks, books, and
videos full of new ideas (be a lifelong learner)Recommend

6. CREATE HIGH EXPECTATIONS
Help
Help define
your
mentees
personal
best
Communicate
Communicate
the
expectation
every time
you meet
Help
Help create
more
productive
habits
Check In
Check in
regularly for
under-
standing
Help
Help them answer
“what is it going to
take?” for me to….”
be an honor roll
student, be elected
for student council,
make the sports
team, etc.
Give
Give
frequent
feedback

7. ENCOURAGE AND INSPIRE POSITIVE
ACTION
•GIVE PRAISE WHEN THINGS ARE GOING WELL
•GIVE POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT WHEN THINGS AREN’T GOING WELL
•REMIND THEM OF WHO THEY ARE BECOMING AND THAT IT’S ALL APART OF
THE PROCESS AND STORY OF THEIR LIVES

8. MORE RESOURCES AT
REGINACOLEY.COM