2. Effective Communication 2 There is an old story that, in the I World War, the front line sent a message via runners to the general. The message said: “Send reinforcements, we are going to advance!” By the time the message reached the general it said: “Send three and fourpence, we are going to a dance!” “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant ...”
8. About Interpersonal Communication 5 Process of sending and receiving information between two or more people Types of Interpersonal Communication Dyadic communication (two people) Public speaking Small-group communication Basic elements Communication channels Direct channels: obvious, under control of sender Verbal (spoken or written) or Non-verbal (colour, sound, controlled body movements) Indirect channels: recognized subliminally, subconsciously, not under direct control of the sender Body Language
9. Interpersonal Communication: What for? 6 Gaining Information about other individual For interacting more effectively Better prediction about how they think, feel, and act How? Passively (by observing them), Actively (having others engage them) or Interactively (engaging them ourselves) Better Understanding others Words can mean very different things depending on how they are said or in what context What and how are sent simultaneously, and both affect the meaning Establishing Identity Roles we play and public self-image we present Interpersonal Needs Inclusion, Control and Affection
10. Types of CommunicationRelational Patterns Rigid Role Relations Dominance and Submissiveness Complementary or Symmetrical Disconfirming Responses Impervious: not acknowledge the other Interrupting: Cutting the other's message Irrelevant: Giving unrelated response Tangential: Briefly responding Impersonal: Responding by using formal language Incoherent: Responding with difficult to understand message Incongruous: Giving contradictory verbal and nonverbal messages Spirals One partner’s communications leads to increasing levels of satisfaction or dissatisfaction Dependencies and counterdependencies Total agreement with whatever the other says or frequent total disagreement 7
11. Interpersonal Conflict 8 Expressedstruggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals Important concepts in definition: The two sides must communicate about the problem Often involves perceptions Common Problems: Avoiding conflict: damaging, greater problems in the future Individuals blaming other individuals Adopting a win-lose strategy
12. Interpersonal Conflict Management Avoid Defensive Climate Foster Supportive Climate 9 Evaluation: judging and criticizing other group members Control: imposing the will of one group member on the others Strategy: using hidden agendas Neutrality: demonstrating indifference and lack of commitment Superiority: expressing dominance Certainty: being rigid in one's willingness to listen to others. Description: presenting ideas or opinions Problem orientation: focusing attention on the task Spontaneity: communicating openly and honestly Empathy: understanding another person's thoughts Equality: asking for opinions Provisionalism: expressing a willingness to listen the ideas of others
13. Interpersonal Communication 10 We are going to explicitly work on Effective Listening “You have two ears and one mouth. I suggest that you use them in that proportion” Assertiveness “Too many of us fail to fulfill our needs because we say no rather than yes, or perhaps later in life, yes when we should say no” Effective Questioning “Only the crystal-clear question yields a transparent answer”
14. Effective Listening: Active Listening Communication = Speaking & Listening = good speaking and effective listening skills Difference between Hearing & Listening? Effective Listening Tips Make an effort to block out outer distractions. Resist the urge to day dream. Try to understand and correctly interprete body language. Pay attention to tone also, as it is vital to the correct interpretation of the message. Have an open mind. Try not to make judgments about the speaker or the message. Don't hesitate to ask and clarify (do not interrupt, jot questions down) Big mistake: being preoccupied on what you want to say. 11
15. Assertive Communication 12 Appropriately direct communication, open and honest, and clarifies one’s needs to the other person Natural to some, but skill that can be learned Greatly reduces the level of interpersonal conflict, reducing a major source of stress Features of assertive people: assume the best about others and respect themselves, think “win-win” and try to compromise In contrast, individuals behaving aggressively tend to employ disrespectful, manipulative or abusive tactics make negative assumptions about motives of others don’t think of the other person’s point of view at all win at the expense of others, and create unnecessary conflict
16. Effective Questioning Techniques 13 Funnel Questions Start with general questions, then focus on a point in each answer, and ask more and more detail at each level Tip: start with closed questions and progress to open ones Good for: Finding out more detail about a specific point Gaining the interest or increasing the confidence of the person you are with Rhetorical Questions An answer is not expected, they are statements phrased in question form For engaging the listener Open Questions (what, why, how): long answers Developing an open conversation Finding our more detail Finding out the other person's opinion or issues Close Questions: short answers, yes or no. For Gathering facts, testing your understanding or the other person's Concluding a discussion or making a decision Frame setting Misplaced closed question: kill the conversation, awkward silences
17. Effective Questioning Techniques 14 Probing Questions Strategy for finding out more detail Tip: ask ‘Why?’ And use ‘exactly’. Good for: Gaining clarification to ensure you have the whole story and that you understand it thoroughly Drawing information out of people who are trying to avoid telling you something Leading Questions That will lead the respondent in your way of thinking To be used with care Can be seen as manipulative and dishonest How: Phrasing the question so that the "easiest" response is yes Adding personal appeal to agree Choice between fixed options
