Ch 3 improving writing techniques

© 2010 Thomson South-Western
Instructor Only Version
CHAPTER 3Chapter-3
Improving Writing Techniques
Chapter-3

Chapter 1, Slide 2Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Chapter 3, Slide 2Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e

Organizing
Information
Into an
Outline

Chapter 3, Slide 4Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 8e
Tips for Making Outlines
Tips:
 Define main topic in title.
 Divide the topic into three to five main points.
 Break the components into subpoints.
 Make each component exclusive
(no overlapping).
 Don't put a single item under a major
component.
 Use details and evidence to support subpoints.

Organizing
Business
Messages
DIRECT STRATEGY
Main idea comes
first followed by
details and explanations

Organizing
Business
Messages INDIRECT STRATEGY
Explanation precedes
main idea

Advantages
DIRECT
STRATEGY
 Saves reader’s time
 Sets a proper frame of mind
 Prevents frustration
 Appears businesslike
INDIRECT
STRATEGY
 Respects feelings of audience
 Encourages a fair hearing
 Minimizes a negative reaction

Useful when
DIRECT
STRATEGY
 Receiver is receptive
 Receiver requires no education
about topic
 Message is routine
INDIRECT
STRATEGY
 Receiver may be upset or
hostile
 Receiver must be persuaded or
educated
 Message is sensitive

Effective Sentences
subject verb
Employees send many e-mail messages.
Complete
Sentences
PhrasesClauses
Complete sentences have subjects
and verbs and make sense
(are capable of standing alone).

Effective Sentences
Clauses also have subjects and verbs.
 Independent clauses can stand alone.
 Dependent clauses rely on independent
clauses for their meaning.
Complete
Sentences
PhrasesClauses
dependent clause independent clause
When you speak, you reveal yourself.

Effective Sentences
Phrases are groups of related
words without subjects and verbs.
Complete
Sentences
PhrasesClauses
phrase phrase
In the afternoon, I work at the mall.

Fragment: A fragment is a broken off part of a sentence.
Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied.
Revision:
Even though the pay was low, many candidates applied.
Although, as, because, even, except, for example,
if, instead of, since, so, such as, that, which, and
when-these words introduce dependent clause.
Avoid
sentence
fragments.

Fused Sentences: Without a conjunction and a semi colon, a
run-on sentence results in two independent clauses.
Two candidates applied only one was hired.
Avoid
sentence
fragments.
Avoid run-
on (fused)
sentences.
Revisions:
Two candidates applied. Only one was hired.
Two candidates applied; only one was hired.
Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.

Comma Splice
Many were qualified, Jeff was hired.
Avoid
sentence
fragments.
Avoid
comma-
splice
sentences.
Avoid run-
on (fused)
sentences.
Revisions:
Many were qualified. Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.

Quick
Check
Revise the following to avoid fragments,
run-on sentences, and comma-splices.
You can create a Web-
based job portfolio; it
will impress potential
employers.
You can create a Web-
based job portfolio it will
impress potential
employers.
Send a scannable
résumé. When you apply
for a job.
Send a scannable
résumé when you
apply for a job.

Although technical skills
are important,
communication skills are
also in great demand.
College used to be for
young people; however,
many older students now
seek degrees.
Although technical skills
are important.
Communication skills
are also in great
demand.
College used to be for
young people, however
many older students
now seek degrees.

Technology is changing
the business world.
People are writing more
messages than ever
before. OR: Technology
is changing the business
world; people are . . . .
Technology is changing
the business world
people are writing more
messages than ever
before.

Executives are busy.
They won't read
wordy messages and
reports. OR:
Executives are busy;
they won't read . . . .
Executives are busy,
they won't read
wordy messages and
reports.

Emphasis Through
Mechanics
1. Underlining:
Which of these methods do you prefer?
2. Italics and Boldface:
The use of boldface and italics captures the
reader’s attention.
3. All Caps:
Notice how EXPENSE-FREE VACATION stands
out.

5. Tabulation: Listing items vertically emphasizes them:
1. First item
2. Second item
3. Third item
Font change: different font adds interest and emphasis
4. Dashes:
Other methods–including dashes–may be used.
Emphasis Through
Mechanics

Which of these
other means of
achieving
mechanical
emphasis is/are
appropriate in
business letters?
White space
Color
Lines
Boxes
Columns
Titles
Headings
Subheadings
Discuss any differences with the
suggested answers provided.





White space
Color
Lines
Boxes
Columns
Titles
Headings
Subheadings
Which of these
other means of
achieving
mechanical
emphasis is/are
appropriate in
memos?





White space
Color
Lines
Boxes
Columns
Titles
Headings
Subheadings
Which of these
other means of
achieving
mechanical
emphasis is/are
appropriate in
e-mail
messages?





White space
Color
Lines
Boxes
Columns
Titles
Headings
Subheadings
Which of these
other means of
achieving
mechanical
emphasis is/are
appropriate in
reports?









Emphasis and De-emphasis
Through Style
To emphasize an idea
1. Use a vivid expression,
such as in bug-free software rather than dependable
software.
General: A customer said that he wanted the contract
returned soon.
Vivid: Mr. Le Clerc insisted that the contract be returned
soon.

2. Label the main idea
Such as more importantly, the principal reason, or
the best alternative.
Unlabeled: Explore the possibility of leasing a
site, but also hire a consultant.
Labeled: Explore the possibility of leasing a site;
but most importantly, hire a consultant

3. Put the important idea first or last in the
sentence
Un-emphatic: Profit-sharing plans are more effective in increasing
productivity when they are linked to individual performance rather
than to group performance.
Emphatic: Productivity is more likely to be increased when profit-
sharing plans are liked to individual performance rather than to
group performance.
Emphatic: Profit –sharing plans linked to individual performance
rather than to group performance are more effective in increasing
productivity

4. Put the important idea in a simple sentence
or in an independent clause.
Emphatic: You are the first trainee that we have hired for
this program (simple sentence for emphasis)
Emphatic: Although we considered many candidates, you
are the first trainee that we have hired for this program.
(independent clause contains main idea)
Un-emphatic: Although you are the first trainee that we
have hired for this program, we had many candidates and
expect to expand the program in the future.

1. Use general, rather than specific words
Vivid: 125 customers complained.
General: Some customers complained.
2. Place the bad news in a dependent clause connected
to an independent clause containing a positive idea.
Emphasizes bad news: We can not issue you credit at this time, but
we do have a plan that will allow you to fill your immediate needs
on a cash basis
Deemphasizes bad news: We have a plan that will allow you to fill
your immediate needs on a cash basis since we cannot issue
credit at this time.
De-emphasis Through Style

Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs
Active-voice verbs show the subject
performing the action.
Taylor made a major error in the estimate.
(Active voice; the subject is acting)
Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job.
(Active voice; the subject is acting)

In passive-voice sentences, the subject is
being acted upon. Passive-voice verbs
require helper verbs:
A major error was made in the estimate.
(Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)
Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith.
(Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)

1. Use the active voice for most business writing.
2.Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or
the recipient of the action–rather than the actor
3. Use the passive voice to deemphasize negative
news
4. Use the passive voice to conceal the doer /an
action.

Quick
Check
Convert the following sentences to active
voice. You may have to add a subject.
Our membership
meeting was postponed
by the president.
The résumés of job
candidates are sorted
quickly by the software
program Resumix.
The president postponed
our membership
meeting.
The software program
Resumix sorts résumés
of job candidates quickly.

All team messages are
sent by e-mail.
Drug tests are required
of all new employees.
Team members send all
messages by e-mail.
The company requires
drug tests for all new
employees.

We were given our
orders by the manager.
Our intranet is used by
employees to complete
forms.
The manager gave us
our orders.
Employees use our
intranet to complete
forms.

Convert the following sentences to
passive voice.
We must delay
shipment of your
merchandise because
of heavy demand.
Management rejected
our plan.
Your merchandise
shipment must be
delayed because of
heavy demand.
Our plan was rejected by
management.

Convert the following sentences to
passive voice.
The technician could not
install the computer
program.
Someone did not submit
the accounting
statement on time.
The computer program
could not be installed.
The accounting
statement was not
submitted on time.

Developing Parallelism
Parallel expression uses balanced construction.
Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs,
phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses.
Training sessions
have been stimulat-
ing and challenging.
(Matches -ing verbals)
Training sessions
have been stimulat-
ing and a challenge.
Poor Parallel

We are very
concerned with the
quality, location, and
transportation costs
of raw materials.
(Matches nouns)
We are very
concerned with the
quality of raw
materials, where
they are located, and
how much it costs to
transport them.
Poor Parallel

Serena takes the
telephone orders,
Matt locates the
items in the ware-
house, and Yolanda
sends the items.
(Matches active-voice verbs)
Serena takes the
telephone orders,
Matt locates the
items in the ware-
house, and the
items are sent by
Yolanda.
Poor Parallel

Quick
Check
How could parallelism be improved in
the following sentence?
Our knowledge
management system
focuses on the
collecting, storing,
and sharing of best
practices.
Our knowledge
management system
focuses on the
collecting, storage,
and sharing of best
practices.

The fall seminar is in
October, the winter
seminar is in
December, and the
spring seminar is in
May.
The fall seminar is in
October, December
is scheduled for the
winter seminar, and
May is the month of
the spring seminar.

We are pleased to
recommend Elizabeth
because she is
sincere, reliable, and
diligent.
We are pleased to
recommend
Elizabeth because
she has sincerity, she
is reliable, and she
works with diligence.

Dangling and
Misplaced Modifiers
For clarity, modifiers must be close to
the words they describe or relate.
Be particularly careful to place a logical
subject immediately after an introductory
verbal phrase.

After considering
the problem
carefully,
management
suggested new
procedures.
After considering
the problem
carefully, new
procedures were
suggested by
management.
Poor Revised
Dangling and
Misplaced Modifiers

Any student who is
enrolled in the
college has full
online privileges.
Any student has full
online privileges who
is enrolled in the
college.
Poor Revised
Dangling and
Misplaced Modifiers

It’s hard to under-
stand why employees
with software
problems would not
go to our technical
support staff.
It’s hard to under-
stand why employees
would not go to our
technical support
staff with software
problems.
Poor Revised
Dangling and
Misplaced Modifiers

Using a search
engine, we finally
located the Web site.
Using a search
engine, the Web
site was finally
located.
Poor Revised
Dangling and
Misplaced Modifiers

Quick
Check
Revise the following sentence to correct any
misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory
phrases.
To be hired, two years
of experience is
required.
Dipped in butter, you
can really enjoy a fine
lobster.
To be hired, one must
have two years of
experience.
Dipped in butter, a fine
lobster can truly be
enjoyed.

By advertising
extensively, all open
jobs were filled quickly.
After leaving the office,
Jeff's car would not
start.
By advertising
extensively, we filled all
open jobs quickly.
After leaving the office,
Jeff could not start his
car.
phrases.

She died in the house in
which she was born at
the age of 88.
Despite being
paralyzed, doctors
hoped that Mark would
walk again.
At the age of 88, she
died in the house in
which she was born.
Despite Mark's paralysis,
doctors hoped that he
would walk again.
phrases.

Revise the following sentence to correct
any misplaced modifiers.
The sentence is
correct as it stands.
“You” is the
understood subject of
a command.
To receive an
employment form, fill
out this application.
(Tricky!)

Three Ways to Achieve
Paragraph Coherence
Next month we plan to launch a promotion
for our new Web site. The promotion will
involve newspaper and TV campaigns.
To help guide your reader or listener from
one thought to another, develop coherence
by using one of these devices:
 Repetition of key ideas or key words.

Considerable interest is being
shown in our extended
certificates of deposit. They are
more profitable when left on
deposit for long periods.
 Use of pronoun.
Paragraph Coherence

Time Association
before, after
first, second
meanwhile
next
until
when, whenever
 Use of an appropriate transitional
expression.
Paragraph Coherence

Cause–Effect
consequently
for this reason
hence
therefore
Contrast
although
but
however
instead
nevertheless
on the other hand
Paragraph Coherence

Illustration
in this way
for example
Additional Idea
furthermore
in addition
likewise
moreover
similarly
TIP: Paragraphs
with eight or fewer
printed lines look
inviting and readable.
Paragraph Coherence

Paragraph Length
Paragraphs with 8 or fewer printed
lines look inviting and readable and
long, solid chunk of print appear
formidable

Ch 3 improving writing techniques

Ch 3 improving writing techniques

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