How to be an Active Listener
Dr. Kibet P.K
Centre for Open, Distance and e-learning
Machakos University
@Chalan Academy

Introduction
• Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you
listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness and on the quality of
your relationships with other people.
• The way to improve your listening skills is to practice "active listening."
This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that
another person is saying but, more importantly, the complete message
being communicated.
• In order to do this, you must pay attention to the other person very
carefully. You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever
else may be going on around you, or by forming counterarguments while
the other person is still speaking.
• A good listener is someone who focuses completely on what another
person is saying and engages with their ideas in a thoughtful,
comprehensive way. Good listening is not just about learning what a
person is saying, but making a commitment to digesting the information
they are presenting and responding constructively.

How To Be a Better Listener
1. Pay Attention: Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the
message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly. Look at the
speaker directly, put aside distracting thoughts, don't mentally prepare a rebuttal,
avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example, side conversations,
"Listen" to the speaker's body language.
2. Show That You're Listening: Use your own body language and gestures to show
that you are engaged. Nod occasionally, smile and use other facial expressions, make
sure that your posture is open and interested, encourage the speaker to continue with
small verbal comments like yes, and "uh! hah."
3. Provide Feedback: Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can
distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This
may require you to reflect on what is being said and to ask questions. Reflect on what
has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is... ," and "Sounds like you are
saying... ,"Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say...
." "Is this what you mean?",
4. Defer Judgment: Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits
full understanding of the message. Allow the speaker to finish each point before
asking questions, Don't interrupt with counterarguments.

Cont’
5. Respond Appropriately: Active listening is designed to encourage respect and understanding.
You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or
otherwise putting them down. Be candid, open, and honest in your response, Assert your
opinions respectfully, Treat the other person in a way that you think they would want to be
treated.
6. Provide appropriate nonverbal communication: Providing a speaker with the appropriate
nonverbal cues can help them feel more at ease and comfortable as you listen to them.
Nonverbal communication helps you listen and provide your support without having to
interrupt your speaker. This can include maintaining sufficient eye contact, sitting up straight
and smiling when appropriate.
7. Pace the conversation: Being a good listener often includes opening a dialogue and allowing
for a conversation to start between you and the speaker. Pace the conversation by
determining the goal of the speaker's message and evaluating their nonverbal cues to decide
when it's appropriate to respond. Instead of rushing to fill silences, let the speaker finish their
thoughts and acknowledge their message accordingly.
8. Ask meaningful questions: Once it is time to open up a dialogue, the questions you ask
should be meaningful and establish your investment in the speaker's message. Ask questions
that can help both you and the speaker reflect on what they said as well as elaborate on any
points that may need extra clarification.

Cont’
9. Manage your time appropriately: When preparing to listen effectively, it is important to
ensure you've scheduled a time when you can provide the speaker with your undivided
attention. It is best to avoid creating too many meetings or cluttering your schedule so that
each time you are listening to a speaker, you can do so while focusing clearly on what they
are saying.
10. Display empathy: Listening to someone with an emphasis on empathy can help prevent any
misunderstandings from occurring. The more you work to connect with what others are
thinking and feeling, the less likely you are to misunderstand them.
11. Avoid interruptions: The more interruptions you experience while a person is speaking, the
less likely they are to fully communicate what they intended to say. Avoiding interruptions
and creating an environment where they can speak without distraction or interruption will
make it easier for them to share their message.
12. Stay curious and open-minded: While you should give the speaker a chance to share their
message without interruption, effective listening includes maintaining your curiosity and
staying open-minded. The more you can ask questions and think creatively about what the
speaker is sharing, the more likely you will be to properly interpret their message.